What Fresh Hell: Laughing in the Face of Motherhood | Parenting Tips From Funny Moms

Fresh Take: Kate Baer, HOW ABOUT NOW

November 14, 2025

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  • Kate Baer's new poetry collection, *How About Now*, was shaped by a season of unexpected change, including health crises that forced her to confront mortality and the shifting identity of motherhood as children age. 
  • The transition from intensive early parenting to raising older children involves a difficult emotional shift for mothers, often marked by nostalgia for physical closeness and the challenge of stepping back. 
  • Motherhood, despite being a universal experience, is often unfairly dismissed as a 'niche topic' in literary and public discourse, a perception Kate Baer actively combats by embracing the subject matter as central to human experience. 

Segments

Wayfair Black Friday Deals
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(00:00:00)
  • Key Takeaway: Wayfair is offering Black Friday deals all month starting October 30th, with up to 70% off home and hosting items.
  • Summary: Hosts Margaret and Amy discuss needing new wine glasses and introduce Wayfair’s month-long Black Friday sale, highlighting deals, fast shipping, and their new loyalty program.
Introducing Kate Baer and New Book
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(00:01:04)
  • Key Takeaway: The episode welcomes Kate Baer, author of three NYT bestsellers, to discuss her new collection, ‘How About Now.’
  • Summary: Margaret and Amy introduce Kate Baer, noting her background as a poet and mother of four, and mention her latest collection, ‘How About Now.’
Midlife Crisis and Health Issues
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(00:01:48)
  • Key Takeaway: Baer’s new book was shaped by a period of unexpected change, including health issues that made her face her mortality before turning 40.
  • Summary: Baer explains that her book was delayed because she experienced a ‘midlife crisis’ early due to health issues, leading the collection to explore midlife and changing bodies.
Transitioning Out of Early Motherhood
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(00:02:34)
  • Key Takeaway: Motherhood shifts from physical demands to emotional challenges as children grow older and require less hands-on care.
  • Summary: The hosts discuss the transition of taking off the ‘young mommy hat,’ noting the difficulty of stepping back and the nostalgia associated with letting go of younger years, like bath time.
Poem: The Invisible Hand
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(00:05:01)
  • Key Takeaway: Time speeds up unexpectedly, forcing reflection on how to spend one’s life, especially concerning time with children.
  • Summary: Baer reads ‘The Invisible Hand,’ which describes time accelerating (‘drip from the faucet until late 30s… turned the tap to a steady stream’) and the realization of having limited summers with children.
The Cliche of Enjoying Moments
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(00:06:14)
  • Key Takeaway: While often annoying when heard, the warning to ’enjoy every moment’ becomes deeply felt as children grow.
  • Summary: The hosts discuss the ‘imaginary woman’ who warns parents to enjoy every moment, acknowledging that they eventually become that person, feeling unprepared for milestones like college.
Poetry on Official Forms
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(00:07:22)
  • Key Takeaway: Baer uses erasure poetry over official forms (like school emergency drills) to highlight the inadequacy of bureaucratic language for profound, terrifying truths.
  • Summary: The hosts discuss Baer’s poems written over intake forms and drill records, which use playfulness to address heavy topics like school safety drills.
Dealing with School Safety Trauma
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(00:09:42)
  • Key Takeaway: The reality of school drills is deeply painful, and Baer finds action steps (like Mom’s Demand Action) helpful for processing the trauma.
  • Summary: Baer discusses the difficulty of writing about school shootings while her children are still in school, noting that action steps help her cope beyond just writing poetry.
Skylight Calendar Ad Break
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(00:11:39)
  • Key Takeaway: Skylight Calendar is a Wi-Fi-connected digital display that syncs family schedules to reduce organizational chaos.
  • Summary: The hosts discuss the complexity of managing multiple schedules and introduce the Skylight Calendar as a solution for clear, centralized family planning.
Acorns Early and Financial Literacy
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(00:13:07)
  • Key Takeaway: Acorns Early helps kids learn smart money habits through chores, allowances, and goal setting using a debit card.
  • Summary: Amy discusses her son using Acorns Early to earn money and practice budgeting, highlighting the app’s features for both kids and parental oversight.
Monarch Finance Tool Ad Break
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(00:14:14)
  • Key Takeaway: Monarch is an all-in-one personal finance tool that helps couples track their finances clearly, revealing spending habits (like chai lattes).
  • Summary: The hosts discuss the difficulty couples have talking about finances and promote Monarch for organizing all financial accounts in one interface.
Poem: Women Talking
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(00:15:42)
  • Key Takeaway: Female friendships provide essential, immediate rescue and processing for the mundane and serious realities of motherhood and marriage via text/apps.
  • Summary: Baer reads ‘Women Talking,’ illustrating how texts about daily chaos (sick dogs, husband issues) and absurdities (toads mating) serve as vital emotional support among women.
Defending Motherhood as a Literary Theme
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(00:17:35)
  • Key Takeaway: Motherhood is a universal, central human experience, and dismissing it as a ’niche topic’ is rooted in internalized misogyny.
  • Summary: Baer discusses her anger over being labeled a ‘mommy blogger’ or poet, arguing that motherhood is one of the most important and universal themes, not a niche subject.
Erasure Poem Mechanics
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(00:20:12)
  • Key Takeaway: Baer uses erasure poetry to either reveal the underlying text’s hidden meaning or completely undercut its original message.
  • Summary: The hosts discuss Baer’s erasure poems that leave only a few words visible. Baer explains that the backdrop text is chosen based on the poem’s intent, sometimes using her own unpublished work.
Poem: Box Breathing Mantra
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(00:20:46)
  • Key Takeaway: Poetry can serve as a vital self-soothing mantra during moments of panic or health crisis.
  • Summary: Baer shares the origin of ‘Box Breathing,’ a poem created from mantras she used during her medical issues: ‘I am alive today. I have quieted the narrator.’
Poetry as Music and Connection
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(00:22:07)
  • Key Takeaway: Good poetry feels like music; it provides the ‘scarf pulled from your chest feeling’ when an author articulates a truth you’ve always felt but never heard spoken.
  • Summary: The hosts compare poetry to music, noting that people who dislike poetry simply haven’t found the right poem yet, as it distills meaning perfectly.
Poem: Marriage Poem
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(00:23:50)
  • Key Takeaway: The reality of marriage involves mundane logistics like deciding dinner, not just romance.
  • Summary: Baer reads ‘Marriage Poem,’ which details the unsexy realities of marriage, including dinner decisions and financial stress, contrasting with traditional love poems.
Body Image and Fatphobia
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(00:30:09)
  • Key Takeaway: Women spend their lives trying to manage how their bodies are perceived, and progress against fatphobia is slow, even across generations.
  • Summary: Baer reads ‘You’re So Funny,’ discussing her lifelong experience as a fat kid/teenager and the difficulty of protecting her daughter from societal body commentary, even when she herself is currently in a straight-sized body.
Finding Resonance in Own Work
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(00:34:26)
  • Key Takeaway: While writing, Baer occasionally experiences a moment of perfect clarity (‘four-part chord’) where she knows she has articulated exactly what she meant.
  • Summary: Baer discusses whether she experiences the same resonance reading her own work as listeners do. She confirms rare moments of perfection during writing but admits she doesn’t reread her own poetry.
Kate Baer Contact Information
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(00:36:41)
  • Key Takeaway: Listeners can find Kate Baer on Instagram (@KateJBaer) and through her website/Substack.
  • Summary: The hosts wrap up by asking Baer where listeners can find her work, confirming the spelling of her last name (B-A-E-R).