How To Stop Getting Dragged Around By Your Anxieties, Thought Loops, and Insecurities | Sebene Selassie

Key Takeaways Copied to clipboard!

• Meditation practice, particularly mindfulness (sati), is an embodied awareness that encompasses the body, mind, and emotions, not just thought processes, and is aimed at achieving freedom from being controlled by anxieties and suffering.  Copied to clipboard!
• Meditation is not a panacea that eliminates all pain, but it removes the 'extra layer of suffering' (like 'why me?') by allowing practitioners to meet reality with grounding and capacity, with benefits often accruing quickly.  Copied to clipboard!
• The practice of meditation is flexible; there is no single 'right way' to meditate, and practitioners should find styles that work for their specific brain and body, even if it means standing or lying down instead of sitting still.  Copied to clipboard!
• The concept of 'mindfulness' (sati) implies 'remembering' to wake up and be present, acknowledging that forgetting (getting lost in thought) is an inherent and necessary part of the practice.  Copied to clipboard!

Segments Expand All Collapse All

Introducing New Audiobook

Copied to clipboard!

(00:00:20)

• Key Takeaway: The audiobook “Even You Can Meditate” serves as a practical rescue plan for those overwhelmed or skeptical about starting meditation.
• Summary: Dan Harris introduces the audiobook “Even You Can Meditate,” co-authored with Sebene Selassie, available on Audible. The book is designed as a practical guide for people too distracted or overwhelmed to begin or restart a meditation practice. It covers finding a suitable style, the role of intention, and working with the five hindrances.

Sponsor Break: Spark Energy Drink

Copied to clipboard!

(00:02:48)

• Key Takeaway: Spark Energy Plus Focus provides sustained energy and mental sharpness using 120mg of caffeine balanced with amino acids and taurine to prevent jitters and crashes.
• Summary: Spark is promoted as an energy drink offering sustained focus without the typical sugar spike and crash. It contains essential vitamins and amino acids to support mental focus and clarity. Listeners can receive 30% off and free shipping using the code ‘happier’ at drinkspark.com.

Sponsor Break: Monarch Finance Tool

Copied to clipboard!

(00:04:19)

• Key Takeaway: Monarch is an all-in-one personal finance tool that consolidates budgeting, accounts, investments, and net worth planning into a single dashboard.
• Summary: Monarch is recommended for achieving financial sanity by centralizing all financial information on one platform. Users report saving over $200 a month on average and feeling more in control of their finances. A 50% discount on the first year is available using the code ‘happier’ at monarch.com.

Sebene Selassie’s Meditation Origin

Copied to clipboard!

(00:05:51)

• Key Takeaway: Sebene Selassie’s early exposure to Eastern philosophy via her brother’s involvement with Hare Krishna led to decades of study in comparative religious studies, focusing on early Buddhism.
• Summary: Sebene Selassie began exploring meditation in high school after her brother joined the Hare Krishna movement. This led her to major in comparative religious studies, focusing on Hinduism and Buddhism, the foundation of mindfulness teachings. She emphasizes that Buddhism, in this context, is something to ‘do,’ not necessarily something to ‘believe in,’ making it accessible to people of various faiths or agnostics.

Meditation Benefits and Efficacy

Copied to clipboard!

(00:07:40)

• Key Takeaway: Meditation practices provide a lifeline for navigating suffering and pain by meeting reality with grounding, rather than just distracting oneself from it.
• Summary: The practices helped Sebene navigate personal trauma and three cancer diagnoses by offering a way to meet suffering without avoidance. Meditation enhances focus, effectiveness, and efficiency, which is why it is adopted by high-performing individuals like executives and athletes. While it won’t solve everything (like aging or death), it removes the added suffering caused by resistance to what is.

Finding Your Meditation Style

Copied to clipboard!

(00:11:08)

• Key Takeaway: There is no single right way to meditate; practitioners should try various techniques offered in the book, ideally in the suggested graduated order, but ultimately select what works for their needs.
• Summary: The book offers many practices to appeal to different needs, encouraging listeners to try them out, though they are ordered deliberately as graduated teachings. If sitting still is impossible due to physical pain or discomfort, practitioners are encouraged to stand or lie down. The goal is not to become a good meditator but to use the practice to be more aware and present in life.

Defining Intention in Practice

Copied to clipboard!

(00:13:41)

• Key Takeaway: Intention is deciding the best for oneself—wanting to be well, healthy, and happy—which can expand into a larger purpose benefiting others.
• Summary: Intention is defined as choosing well-being for oneself, which can evolve into a larger intention focused on the benefit of all beings. Tracking one’s ‘why’ for practicing becomes a powerful engine for maintaining the habit. Taking care of the self through practice ultimately yields more energy available for others.

Deconstructing Mindfulness (Sati)

Copied to clipboard!

(00:15:18)

• Key Takeaway: Mindfulness (Pali: sati) is an embodied, holistic awareness that includes the body and emotions, not just the mind, and is practiced without judgment for the purpose of freedom.
• Summary: Sati translates to an embodied awareness that is holistic, encompassing the body, mind, and emotions, contrasting with the English word ‘mindfulness’ which privileges thought. John Kabat-Zinn defined it as paying attention in the present moment without judgment for freedom. This non-judgmental quality allows one to surf the waves of difficult experience without drowning in them.

The Role of Remembering and Forgetting

Copied to clipboard!

(00:18:32)

• Key Takeaway: The etymology of sati includes ‘remembering’ the capacity for freedom, which implies ‘forgetting’ (getting lost in thoughts or distractions) is not a mistake but part of the practice.
• Summary: The act of mindfulness involves remembering to wake up, which is crucial because forgetting (getting lost in thoughts or distractions) is inevitable. The moment of returning to the breath or body after distraction is the practice of meditation. Accepting that getting lost is part of the process removes the self-criticism often associated with meditation.

Understanding Freedom in Practice

Copied to clipboard!

(00:19:55)

• Key Takeaway: Freedom in meditation ranges from the ultimate goal of nirvana to the immediate, momentary experience of peace when temporarily unhooked from anxieties and thought loops.
• Summary: While the ultimate goal in Buddhism is capital-F Freedom (Nirvana), practitioners can experience smaller moments of freedom instantly by finding peace in the breath, breaking free from thought loops. This immediate freedom is the ability to be with experience in a way that is different from habitual reaction.

Body as Anchor for Awareness

Copied to clipboard!

(00:20:59)

• Key Takeaway: Because the body is always in the present moment, awareness of the body, breath, and sensations serves as a reliable anchor when the mind wanders into past or future thoughts.
• Summary: The term ‘mindfulness’ is a misnomer because the practice privileges the mind over other aspects of experience, which Western culture reinforces. Classically, the four foundations of mindfulness begin with the body because it is always present, unlike the mind which can drift. The first two practices will focus on the body, using breath and sensation as anchors to return to the present moment when distraction occurs.