10% Happier with Dan Harris

A Four-Word Buddhist Teaching for Instant Calm and (Just Maybe) Lasting Peace | Bart van Melik

February 27, 2026

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  • The core Buddhist teaching, distilled into four words by scholar Venerable Analyo, is "Keep calmly knowing change," which promotes peace by attuning to life's constant flow. 
  • Introducing mindfulness to children should focus on modeling external and relational awareness (like noticing another's breath or shared activities) rather than forcing formal techniques. 
  • Venting or complaining, while sometimes used for connection or humor, should be examined closely, as the underlying urge may stem from a desire for attention ("look at me"), aligning with the concept of "useless speech" (sampappalāpa). 

Segments

Introduction and Core Teaching
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(00:00:04)
  • Key Takeaway: Bart van Melik’s central teaching is “Keep calmly knowing change,” summarizing the Buddha’s wisdom on impermanence.
  • Summary: Dan Harris introduces Bart van Melik, the Teacher of the Month, whose core teaching is “Keep calmly knowing change.” This four-word phrase is presented as a distillation of the Buddha’s 84,000 teachings on mindfulness. Attuning to the flow of things, even when change is terrifying, brings peace.
App Plug and Schedule Update
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(00:01:19)
  • Key Takeaway: The 10% with Dan Harris app offers weekly live sessions and community features to reduce the loneliness of meditation practice.
  • Summary: Dan Harris plugs the 10% with Dan Harris app, highlighting features like live sessions with teachers and community connection tools. The podcast schedule is reverting to a three-episode-per-week cadence on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday starting in March.
Value of Knowing Change
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(00:03:46)
  • Key Takeaway: Clinging to things makes no sense because everything is in flux, and recognizing this flow, as the Buddha taught on his deathbed, brings soothing peace.
  • Summary: The value of calmly knowing change lies in realizing that clinging is futile when observing the flow of existence, similar to water or music. The Buddha’s final words emphasized that all material and mental things come and go, urging continuous practice.
Mindfulness Dimensions and Kids
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(00:06:42)
  • Key Takeaway: Buddhist mindfulness encompasses internal awareness, external awareness (like noticing others’ breaths), and relational awareness (the co-created field).
  • Summary: Bart answers a question about introducing meditation to children by suggesting modeling mindful activities enjoyed together, like running, rather than forcing formal sitting. He emphasizes that mindfulness includes being aware externally, such as noticing a child’s belly rising and falling, and being aware of the relational field being co-created.
Venting and Useless Speech
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(00:11:04)
  • Key Takeaway: Venting used for connection should be examined, as the urge to speak unnecessarily often masks a desire for attention, termed ‘useless speech’ (sampappalāpa).
  • Summary: When venting or complaining is used to connect, it is advised to look closely at the pattern and notice how the words land on the listener through non-verbal cues. Joseph Goldstein refers to this unnecessary speech as sampappalāpa, noting the underlying urge is often self-focused (“look at me”).
Closing Dedication and Community
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(00:14:14)
  • Key Takeaway: Sustained practice is often maintained through community, and one should recollect the good one does, dedicating time to inner and outer peace.
  • Summary: Bart emphasizes that community is the primary reason he remains on the path, suggesting that appreciating the community present is a helpful practice. He closes by inviting listeners to return to the body, recollect the good they do, and dedicate the time to peace, repeating the phrase, “May there be peace.”