Feel Better, Live More with Dr Rangan Chatterjee

Mel Robbins on How To Take Control of Your Life With One Simple Habit (Re-release) #622

February 8, 2026

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  • The core challenge in life is not knowing what to do, but overcoming the 'habit of hesitation' (procrastination/overthinking) to take action, which requires a bias towards action over thinking. 
  • The Five Second Rule (counting 5-4-3-2-1) is a simple, actionable tool that interrupts negative thinking loops, creates objectivity, and pushes individuals toward action, thereby building confidence through trying. 
  • The High Five Habit—giving yourself a high-five in the mirror each morning—is a powerful physical action that bypasses self-criticism by leveraging the brain's positive neuro-association with the high-five gesture, fostering self-respect and self-compassion. 
  • The High Five Habit changes your relationship with yourself and your ability to believe you can move the needle on life's challenges, even if it doesn't remove the external problems like poverty or discrimination. 
  • Massive resistance to the High Five Habit often stems from deep-seated self-judgment, trauma, or past regrets, making the act of high-fiving an act of defiance, strength, and permission to heal. 
  • Behavioral activation therapy, exemplified by the High Five Habit, works by having you 'act like the person you want to become'—in this case, acting like someone who cares about and cheers for themselves—which changes your brain's neural pathways over time. 
  • Writing books that are easy to read and accessible requires more effort than writing complex, research-heavy texts, as the goal must be to make a difference for the everyday reader. 
  • Mel Robbins' successful methods, like the Five Second Rule and The High Five Habit, often originate from her own necessity to build a 'ladder' after hitting personal lows. 
  • The ultimate advice for listeners of "Feel Better, Live More with Dr Rangan Chatterjee" is to give yourself permission to feel happy because you deserve to feel better, utilizing simple tools like the High Five Habit or counting down from five to start making changes. 

Segments

The Struggle: Knowing vs. Doing
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(00:04:00)
  • Key Takeaway: The primary obstacle to improvement is not a lack of information (‘what’), but the difficulty in executing the necessary steps (‘how’) due to fear, anxiety, and the habit of hesitation.
  • Summary: Most people know what they need to do to improve health, career, or relationships, as information is widely available. The real challenge lies in taking action when afraid or overwhelmed, which is rooted in a ‘bias towards thinking’ rather than a ‘bias towards action.’ Thinking alone will not change life; only taking action creates change.
The Five Second Rule Explained
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(01:57:00)
  • Key Takeaway: The Five Second Rule is a tool to interrupt negative thinking and procrastination by forcing a bias of action, which builds confidence through the willingness to try.
  • Summary: The Five Second Rule stops negative thinking in its tracks, breaking the procrastination feedback loop by moving the individual into action. It changes a bias of thinking into a bias of action, providing the confidence needed to try even when full of doubt. This simple technique is effective across all ages, as demonstrated by the host’s 11-year-old son using it successfully.
Expertise vs. Lived Experience
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(00:07:16)
  • Key Takeaway: Information alone is insufficient for change; expertise must be broadened to include lived experience, as demonstrated by the impact of Mel Robbins’ tools despite her lack of traditional medical credentials.
  • Summary: Gathering information without taking action is a way people trick themselves into thinking they are working on self-improvement. Mel Robbins’ methods are born from her own lived experience, struggles, and subsequent research, which resonates deeply with audiences. The effectiveness of her tools, like the Five Second Rule, is evidenced by feedback from individuals and even nurses in psychiatric wards.
The High Five Habit Mechanics
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(00:44:03)
  • Key Takeaway: The High Five Habit involves looking at oneself in the mirror and performing a high-five action to retrain neural pathways toward self-respect and celebration, bypassing the need for verbal affirmation.
  • Summary: The habit requires looking at the person in the mirror as a human being who needs support, pausing before the day focuses on others. The physical action of the high-five communicates universal symbols of encouragement and celebration, which the brain rewards with dopamine. This action is powerful because it bypasses the critical inner monologue, directly communicating self-respect through a physical gesture.
High Five Habit vs. Five Second Rule
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(00:56:39)
  • Key Takeaway: While the Five Second Rule pushes action, the High Five Habit addresses the core issue of self-rejection by building compassion and self-liking, which is considered a deeper, more powerful foundation for well-being.
  • Summary: The Five Second Rule is a tool to push for action and manage anxiety triggers by creating objectivity. The High Five Habit, however, addresses the fundamental issue of self-criticism and self-rejection at the core of one’s being. By practicing this physical action, one builds compassion for the self, ensuring that external validation becomes less necessary for internal stability.
High Five Habit Impact and Limitations
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(01:09:00)
  • Key Takeaway: The High Five Habit changes the individual’s relationship with themselves and their belief in their ability to influence circumstances, rather than changing external life situations.
  • Summary: The habit changes the person, improving their attitude and belief in their ability to affect outcomes, even when facing major issues like poverty or trauma. This simple, free exercise signals to the brain that the person is worthy of celebration. It is emphasized that this habit is accessible to everyone, regardless of wealth.
Resistance to the High Five Habit
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(01:12:19)
  • Key Takeaway: Most people experience significant resistance to the High Five Habit initially, which is a sign that a new neural pathway is being formed against ingrained self-judgment.
  • Summary: Resistance to the act of high-fiving oneself is common, often stemming from self-judgment and self-condemnation rooted in past trauma or perceived failures. Research suggests it takes about five days for the chemical, physiological, and psychological changes of the habit to begin manifesting breakthroughs. Overcoming this resistance is framed as an act of defiance, strength, and self-forgiveness.
Success vs. Self-Love Disconnect
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(01:28:06)
  • Key Takeaway: External success, such as a viral TED Talk or best-selling books, does not equate to internal self-love, as many high-achievers anchor their self-worth to achievement.
  • Summary: Mel Robbins shared her experience of having a panic attack during her highly successful TED Talk, illustrating that external validation does not resolve internal self-doubt. Success becomes a moving target when happiness is anchored to achievements, highlighting the need for self-love independent of external validation. The High Five Habit serves as a micro-moment of compassion to counteract this self-rejection.
Behavioral Activation and Self-Compassion
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(01:25:45)
  • Key Takeaway: Adopting the High Five Habit is an application of behavioral activation therapy, where acting like the person you want to become (caring for yourself) rewires the brain.
  • Summary: The habit encourages acting like a person who cheers for themselves, respects themselves, and believes they are worthy, which changes the brain’s structure over time. Research on self-compassion, as studied by Professor Kristen Neff, shows that compassionate individuals are healthier, happier, and more productive than those who rely on self-criticism for motivation. The High Five Habit provides a tangible action for self-compassion, which is an inside job that others cannot provide.
Winning Deep and Emotional Waves
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(01:44:44)
  • Key Takeaway: The High Five Habit facilitates ‘winning deep’ by building self-trust, allowing individuals to navigate life’s inevitable negative events with resilience rather than being consumed by stress.
  • Summary: Winning deep contrasts with ‘winning shallow’ (where external achievements bring no internal fulfillment) by establishing an internal foundation of support. Emotional waves, such as disappointment or rage, happen before conscious thought, meaning one cannot control their initial feeling but can choose the narrative told about the situation. The habit acts as a toolkit to reassure oneself and keep moving forward after setbacks, like a team shaking off a bad play.
Breaking Generational Habits
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(02:06:36)
  • Key Takeaway: Practicing self-compassion through the High Five Habit offers the opportunity to break generational cycles of self-criticism inherited from parents and grandparents.
  • Summary: Children learn self-criticism patterns by observing their parents’ self-talk, as demonstrated when Mel Robbins’ daughter pointed out her self-deprecating comments. By demonstrating self-acceptance in the mirror, parents can show their children a different, healthier way to manage insecurity and comparison. The High Five Habit provides the necessary self-acceptance to counter the natural human tendency to internalize negative treatment from others.
Book Writing Difficulty Acknowledged
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(02:15:48)
  • Key Takeaway: Creating accessible, easy-to-read books is harder than writing dense, academic material.
  • Summary: Writing books that are easy to read is acknowledged as a painful but necessary challenge. Mel Robbins notes that the right idea for her latest book was not ready until she experienced a personal low point. Her process involves falling into a hole, having an epiphany that no one is coming to save her, and then building the solution (like the Five Second Rule or The High Five Habit).
Rewriting for Audience Connection
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(02:16:38)
  • Key Takeaway: Initial drafts must be aggressively revised to prioritize reader connection over academic credentialing.
  • Summary: Mel Robbins realized her first draft of the new book was written for ‘fancy pants people’ and was boring because she was trying to seem smart. She tore the book apart and rewrote it in 14 days to focus on making it easy and fun for the overwhelmed everyday person. This mirrors Dr. Chatterjee’s experience rewriting his first book to focus on helping people rather than impressing doctors.
Final Words of Wisdom
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(02:18:50)
  • Key Takeaway: The core of feeling better and living more is giving yourself permission to feel happy and knowing you deserve it.
  • Summary: Listeners are encouraged to enjoy the experience of being themselves and moving through their day. An awakening involves realizing you do not want to feel bad anymore because you are meant to feel better. Simple tools, like the High Five Habit or counting down 5-4-3-2-1 to shut down the inner critic, can facilitate feeling better daily.
Podcast Wrap-up and Promotion
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(02:21:06)
  • Key Takeaway: Applying learned concepts and teaching them to others reinforces personal retention and benefits the recipient.
  • Summary: Listeners are prompted to take away one actionable item and teach one concept to someone else to aid in retention. Dr. Chatterjee promotes his free weekly email, ‘Friday 5,’ which offers simple ideas for health and happiness. He reminds listeners that his five bestselling books cover topics like happiness, stress, sleep, and behavior change, and are available in multiple formats.