Key Takeaways

• Mental toughness is a skill that can be developed through practice and conscious effort, not just an innate trait.
• Focusing on and highlighting your strengths, rather than solely dwelling on weaknesses, is crucial for high performance.
• Preparation is key to managing pressure; you rise to your level of preparation, not just the occasion.
• Establishing personal standards, or a ‘gold standard,’ provides a more consistent framework for growth than setting goals alone.
• Balancing drive with mental wellness involves understanding your core identity beyond your roles to prevent burnout and maintain fulfillment.

Segments

The Influence of a Coach and Early Career Choice (~00:03:00)

• Key Takeaway: A pivotal moment at age 12, where her coach bet on her to win a ski race, taught Dr. Perlis the power of belief and preparation, leading her to choose a career in coaching.
• Summary: Dr. Perlis recounts an experience at age 12 where her coach’s bet on her performance in an alpine ski race taught her about handling pressure and the impact of belief. This experience, coupled with meeting a sports psychologist, solidified her decision to pursue a career helping others realize their potential.

Preparation vs. Rising to the Occasion (~00:05:00)

• Key Takeaway: Performance is dictated by the level of preparation, not simply by rising to the occasion, emphasizing the need for consistent readiness.
• Summary: Mick and Dr. Perlis discuss the common saying ‘you rise to the occasion,’ countering it with the idea that performance is a result of one’s level of preparation. They stress that being prepared allows individuals to embrace high-pressure situations with confidence.

Highlighting Strengths in Performance (~00:07:00)

• Key Takeaway: High performers, like professional athletes, focus on preparing and highlighting their strengths rather than solely concentrating on their weaknesses.
• Summary: Dr. Perlis explains the ‘7 Ps’ rule: ‘Proper preparation prevents piss-poor performance.’ She advises focusing on identifying and preparing three key strengths for any given situation, drawing parallels with how professional athletes approach competition.

Embracing Expectations and Energy (~00:10:00)

• Key Takeaway: High expectations from others can be channeled into positive energy that propels performance, rather than becoming a source of pressure.
• Summary: Dr. Perlis discusses how she learned to embrace the label of ‘prodigy’ and the expectations that came with it, viewing them as energy that can be used to enhance performance. She emphasizes that this energy can either be a hindrance or a catalyst for success.

Mental Toughness as a Skill (~00:12:00)

• Key Takeaway: Mental toughness is a skill developed through courage, enduring discomfort for growth, and giving one’s best effort, supported by motivation, confidence, focus, and anxiety control.
• Summary: Dr. Perlis defines mental toughness not as a trait but as a skill. She explains it involves showing up when you don’t want to, accepting discomfort for growth, and giving your best effort, supported by four key mental skills: motivation, confidence, focus, and anxiety control.

The Nuance of ‘Giving Your Best’ (~00:14:00)

• Key Takeaway: It’s more realistic and effective to aim to give the best you have in a given moment, rather than striving for an unattainable 100% consistently.
• Summary: Mick and Dr. Perlis discuss the cliché of ‘giving 100%,’ arguing that it’s more practical to focus on giving the best effort possible in any given situation, even if that capacity varies day-to-day. They advocate for self-grace combined with accountability.

Personal Gold Standard vs. Goals (~00:18:00)

• Key Takeaway: Establishing a personal ‘gold standard’ or highest standard of performance provides a more stable and controllable benchmark for growth than setting external goals.
• Summary: Dr. Perlis introduces the concept of achieving a ‘personal gold standard’ from her book, contrasting it with traditional goals. She explains that standards are about your highest personal expectation and are less susceptible to external factors than goals, which can be distracting.

The Power of Not Letting Yourself Off the Hook (~00:22:00)

• Key Takeaway: While self-grace is important, it should be balanced with accountability; not letting yourself off the hook ensures continued effort and prevents complacency.
• Summary: The discussion shifts to the importance of not letting oneself off the hook, even when offering grace. Dr. Perlis explains that this principle, linked to Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi’s ‘flow state’ research, encourages consistent effort and prevents a slide into apathy or boredom.

Getting Better vs. 1% Better (~00:25:00)

• Key Takeaway: Focusing on simply ‘getting better’ is more effective than aiming for a specific ‘1% better’ daily, as it allows for unexpected progress and adaptation.
• Summary: Mick and Dr. Perlis debate the ‘1% better every day’ concept, suggesting that focusing on the broader goal of ‘just getting better’ is more practical and allows for greater self-discovery and progress, as the starting point and destination are often unknown.

Common Traits of High Performers (~00:28:00)

• Key Takeaway: A universal trait among high performers is the desire to ‘want the ball,’ meaning they are willing to take risks, embrace challenges, and endure potential failure to achieve success.
• Summary: Dr. Perlis identifies the common trait among Olympians and CEOs as ‘wanting the ball,’ a concept from the movie ‘The Replacements.’ This signifies a willingness to be in the critical moments, take risks, and face challenges head-on.

Distinguishing Desire for the Ball vs. Result (~00:30:00)

• Key Takeaway: True high performers want the ball because they embrace the process and the work involved, not just the celebration of the outcome.
• Summary: Mick clarifies the ‘wanting the ball’ concept, distinguishing between genuinely wanting to do the work and simply desiring the end result. Dr. Perlis agrees, emphasizing that true winners engage with the process and the effort required.

AI’s Impact on the Journey vs. Destination (~00:32:00)

• Key Takeaway: While AI can assist, it’s crucial to engage with the ‘journey’ of tasks and content creation to foster learning and personal growth, rather than solely focusing on the destination.
• Summary: Dr. Perlis discusses the role of AI, noting that while it can be a tool, it’s important not to let it replace the personal journey of creation and learning. She prefers to use AI as a collaborator to enhance her own work, rather than a substitute.

Balancing Drive and Mental Wellness (~00:34:00)

• Key Takeaway: Maintaining mental wellness involves understanding one’s core identity, which is rooted in values and inherent attributes, separate from roles like ‘athlete’ or ’leader’.
• Summary: Dr. Perlis addresses the balance between drive and mental wellness, explaining that her work focuses on identity. She highlights that identifying with roles can lead to mental health issues when those roles change, so understanding one’s core values and attributes is key to resilience.

Rapid Fire Q&A (~00:40:00)

• Key Takeaway: Dr. Perlis’s rapid-fire answers reveal her appreciation for ‘Love is Letting Go of Fear’ as a formative book, her admiration for beach volleyball player Kerri Walsh Jennings, and the importance of daily morning walks with her partner.
• Summary: The episode features a rapid-fire Q&A session where Dr. Perlis shares insights on a formative book (‘Love is Letting Go of Fear’), an athlete she’d dine with (Kerri Walsh Jennings), and a crucial daily habit (morning walks).

Finding Dr. Haley Perlis and Final Thoughts (~00:45:00)

• Key Takeaway: Dr. Haley Perlis encourages listeners to find her at drhaleypearlis.com for newsletters and personal notes, and emphasizes that ‘your ‘because’ is your superpower.’
• Summary: Mick and Dr. Perlis conclude by directing listeners to her website, drhaleypearlis.com, for her book, masterclasses, and coaching. Mick reiterates his admiration for Dr. Perlis and encourages listeners to unleash their ‘because’ as their superpower.