The Jamie Kern Lima Show

The Secret to Your Best Life! Ignite Hope & Embrace the Miracle of Being Alive with Nicole Avant!

December 2, 2025

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  • Discernment is best practiced by observing how people treat those who can do nothing for them, as energy and vibration reveal true intentions more than words. 
  • Losing touch with one's intuition, often starting in one's 20s due to prioritizing others' opinions, requires a conscious effort to reconnect with one's inner knowing. 
  • True grounding and resilience come from anchoring oneself in faith and a stable foundation outside of external achievements or status, which are subject to change. 
  • In moments of profound tragedy, such as the loss of a parent, an individual can experience an immediate shift into a matriarchal role, finding unexpected strength and faith to anchor the family. 
  • Intuition must be heeded, as it is a non-linear superpower that always has your back, preventing potential future regret, as demonstrated by Nicole Avant avoiding sending a sarcastic text to her mother before her passing. 
  • Happiness is defined not just by momentary positive feelings, but by being a 'happy soul'—a grateful and constructive soul—and one always has the choice to adjust their mental 'radio dial' (vibration) through thoughts and words. 

Segments

Practicing Discernment and Energy
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(00:00:00)
  • Key Takeaway: Energy and vibration are superior indicators of a person’s intentions compared to their spoken words.
  • Summary: Discernment is practiced by relying on one’s energy reader, as vibration communicates everything about a person. Serving others in low-paying, difficult situations develops a strong detector for character. A daily prayer asks for the right people to be brought into one’s life and the wrong ones to leave.
Defining Current Self Identity
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(00:05:57)
  • Key Takeaway: The most important self-identity is striving to be a good soul whose intention is to bring goodness into the world.
  • Summary: Nicole Avant focuses on being a person who runs toward darkness to transmute it into light, inspired by historical figures. She aims to leave people feeling hopeful, inspired, or listened to, while enjoying life as a privilege. Self-worth involves being proud of learning and growing, even when not achieving perfection.
Intuition Loss and Reconnection
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(00:08:46)
  • Key Takeaway: Intuition was lost in the 20s by prioritizing external opinions over gut feelings, necessitating a return to self-trust.
  • Summary: The younger self, who trusted gut feelings, diminished in the 20s when the focus shifted to what others thought. Asking 20 people about a gut feeling invalidates the initial intuition, as intuition is not universally connected. Reconnecting required honoring the internal message and making time for meditation and prayer.
Energy Drain and Self-Betrayal
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(00:10:13)
  • Key Takeaway: Attracting draining people often stems from being attracted to that dynamic, requiring a shift from asking ‘why they come’ to ‘why I am attracted’.
  • Summary: Being in an energetically mismatched relationship, even with a kind person, can lead to exhaustion by constantly being pulled on. People who only withdraw energy are like ATMs that only allow withdrawals, depleting one’s life force. Betraying one’s soul by consistently putting everyone else’s dreams first leads to sadness and exhaustion.
Parenting Models and Self-Prioritization
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(00:12:11)
  • Key Takeaway: Women often lose themselves by prioritizing others’ happiness until they feel guilty missing their own spirit, necessitating self-care to sustain giving.
  • Summary: Many women start taking care of everyone else in their 20s, losing touch with their intuition and discernment. Betraying oneself by constantly prioritizing others’ needs leads to sadness because the individual misses their own soul. Self-care is mandatory to sustain the ability to give to children and friends effectively.
Maternal Sacrifice and Self-Carving Time
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(00:13:41)
  • Key Takeaway: Carving out even 10 extra minutes daily for oneself makes a significant difference when life’s responsibilities expand with age and family.
  • Summary: Jacqueline Avant reportedly had not taken a weekend to herself in 50 years, illustrating the constant ‘on’ state of motherhood. While nurturing others is a blessing, disanchoring from one’s sanity requires carving out personal time, even if it is just a few extra minutes in the morning. Losing one’s sound mind necessitates getting back to being anchored in spirit and appreciating the privilege of being alive.
Imagination and Facing Fear
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(00:30:16)
  • Key Takeaway: Imagination, which constantly works, should be intentionally flipped to visualize the best possible outcome when facing potential negative scenarios.
  • Summary: When a child fears making no friends at camp, the parent should flip the ‘what if’ to imagine positive outcomes, like making many new friends. Imagination is always active, whether focusing on fear or possibility. The gift is using that imagination to envision the best scenario rather than creating the worst one.
Discernment Through Service Work
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(00:35:30)
  • Key Takeaway: Working in the service industry, like waitressing, provides invaluable experience in discerning character by observing how people treat servers.
  • Summary: Working as a waitress develops a ‘detector’ for character because one is constantly serving people who might treat them poorly. Observing how a powerful person treats a server reveals more about their soul than their success level. This grounding work prevents one from being transactional or easily fooled by superficial interactions.
Faith as an Unshakable Foundation
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(00:40:56)
  • Key Takeaway: Being rooted and grounded in truth and the divine provides an unshakable anchor necessary for true discernment.
  • Summary: If one is not anchored in anything, they float aimlessly and lack discernment, making them susceptible to believing falsehoods. Faith keeps one sane, grounded, and focused, serving as the only dependable, unchanging truth. Even when mistakes happen, a strong home base rooted in truth allows for regrounding and rerooting.
Identity Beyond External Success
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(00:50:48)
  • Key Takeaway: When external significance (like fame or job title) is lost, those not grounded in something outside themselves often lose their entire support system.
  • Summary: People who believe everything comes from themselves and lack grounding in faith or service often face disaster when tides change. Athletes who transition out of their sport often find stability by creating organizations focused on giving back to children or education. Identity must be bigger than a temporary title or status to withstand life’s inevitable challenges.
Matriarchal Shift After Tragedy
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(01:02:12)
  • Key Takeaway: In the immediate aftermath of her mother’s death, Nicole Avant instantly assumed the role of matriarch, feeling a spirit take over to anchor her grieving family.
  • Summary: Following her mother’s passing, Nicole felt a spiritual presence that helped her rise up like a Phoenix, immediately becoming the matriarch for her confused and scared family. She anchored herself in faith, relying on childhood prayers to navigate the shock of her father becoming newly widowed at nearly 91. This tragic event challenged, but ultimately strengthened, her faith.
Intuition and Last Words
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(01:04:05)
  • Key Takeaway: Heeding intuition prevented Nicole Avant from sending a sarcastic text that could have been her final, regrettable communication with her mother.
  • Summary: Nicole recounted almost sending a sarcastic text about a pie to her mother just hours before the tragedy, but her intuition immediately warned her not to send it, saving her from potential lifelong regret. This moment underscored the importance of listening to intuition, even when it seems illogical or non-linear. Her mother’s final words to her were, “Think You’ll Be Happy,” emphasizing happiness as a state of being a grateful soul.
Mother’s Philosophy on Happiness
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(01:07:54)
  • Key Takeaway: Jacqueline Avant differentiated between being a ‘happy soul’ (grateful and appreciative) and being happy all the time, emphasizing constructive thought choices.
  • Summary: Jacqueline Avant believed happiness is about being a grateful soul, which leads to joy, and also about choosing constructive thoughts rather than just wishing for desired outcomes. She stressed that individuals have a choice every second to pick a positive or negative mindset, regardless of external circumstances. Nicole resolved that her mother’s legacy would not be defined solely by her tragic death but by her strength and life lessons.
Radio Tower Vibration Analogy
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(01:09:59)
  • Key Takeaway: One controls their emitted vibration by consciously changing their thoughts and words, analogous to turning a radio knob to switch stations.
  • Summary: Jacqueline Avant taught that individuals are like radio towers; changing one’s thoughts and words changes the emitted vibration, tuning into different experiences. Low vibration activities, like gossiping, can attract low-vibration connections, even if one is intellectually prepared for success. The goal is to maintain the highest possible vibration through intention, using music or dance as simple tools to shift energy.
Accepting the Matriarchal Burden
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(01:14:02)
  • Key Takeaway: Accepting unexpected life shifts, like sudden caregiving roles, requires acknowledging reality without denial before deciding on the next move.
  • Summary: When realizing she was the new matriarch, Nicole felt confused and heavy but accepted the reality, guided by her father’s advice: “It is what it is.” Perspective is crucial; instead of dwelling on the unexpected burden, she focused on what she gained, such as having her father live with her, adopting a Pollyanna-like focus on thankfulness within the worst situation. Acceptance precedes making sound decisions, as constant denial prevents good choices.
Marital Declaration During Grief
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(01:18:42)
  • Key Takeaway: Declaring a commitment to stay together, regardless of the grieving process’s difficulty, provided essential safety for Nicole and Ted’s marriage.
  • Summary: Amidst the overwhelming grief following her mother’s death and her father-in-law’s passing shortly before, Nicole and Ted explicitly declared they would stay together no matter what challenges arose. This decision was vital because tragedy often strains marriages, and they needed to commit to supporting each other’s unique grieving processes without judgment. This proactive declaration created a foundation of safety during instability.
Healing Through Parental Honesty
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(01:24:14)
  • Key Takeaway: Expressing unmet childhood needs to a parent, even later in life, can lead to mutual healing and deeper understanding of their human limitations.
  • Summary: Nicole shared her need for more verbal affection from her mother, who explained she showed love through actions, having learned parenting from her own mother who was often absent working. This conversation was healing because Jacqueline Avant acknowledged her shortcomings and recognized she was also learning to be a mother for the first time. This realization helped Nicole stop placing her mother on an unrealistic pedestal and validated her own needs.
Clarence Avant’s Life Philosophy
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(01:35:43)
  • Key Takeaway: Clarence Avant’s determination, forged in segregation, was to be the absolute best at whatever role he held, refusing to focus on anger or limitations.
  • Summary: Despite growing up in severe segregation, Clarence Avant chose not to focus on anger, instead committing to making the best of whatever situation he was in. His attitude was that if he ended up a janitor, he would be the best janitor; this purposeful determination led to his success in the music industry. Music itself served as a powerful emotional outlet and source of clarity for Nicole during her lowest points.