The Jamie Kern Lima Show

Four Words That Will Change Your Life + Remembering Today To Truly Live! Pt 2 with Nicole Avant!

December 9, 2025

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  • Living a life of gratitude, exemplified by Nicole Avant's commitment to "live my thank you," honors the sacrifices made by previous generations for current freedoms and opportunities. 
  • Victorious living requires embracing battles and tests, as everyone desires the testimony but few are willing to endure the necessary trials. 
  • Invoking divine guidance through prayer—specifically asking for divine intelligence, grace, and love, concluded with "Thy will be done, this or something even better"—opens one up to better outcomes than rigidly defined human intentions. 

Segments

Music’s Healing Power
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(00:00:00)
  • Key Takeaway: Music serves as a powerful emotional release and a tool for healing, capable of transporting individuals to different times and moods.
  • Summary: Music has repeatedly saved the speaker during low points by shifting moods and allowing for emotional release. Playing specific music, like Duke Ellington and Frank Sinatra, was part of the healing process for Nicole Avant’s father. This practice helped him reconnect with memories of his life with his wife, bringing the child in him alive again.
Clarence Avant’s View on Progress
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(00:00:16)
  • Key Takeaway: Denying societal progress is offensive to those who struggled and sacrificed for current rights and opportunities, demanding a response of gratitude.
  • Summary: Clarence Avant strongly objected to the narrative of ’no progress in America,’ viewing it as an insult to the struggles of his generation. He emphasized that people died and struggled for fundamental rights like voting and home ownership. The appropriate response to these sacrifices is to ’live my thank you’ through one’s life.
Warrior Goddess vs. Battle Experience
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(00:01:34)
  • Key Takeaway: True warrior status is earned through experiencing and surviving battles, not merely adopting the title.
  • Summary: The speaker critiques those who claim the title ‘warrior goddess’ without having faced significant adversity or ‘gone into battle.’ Victory and testimony are achieved only after enduring the hard things, not by seeking an easy or pretty path.
Prayer for Divine Guidance
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(00:01:48)
  • Key Takeaway: Surrendering intentions to divine order by asking for guidance and concluding with ‘Thy will be done, this or something even better’ allows for unforeseen, superior outcomes.
  • Summary: The speaker regularly asks the divine to speak and behave through them, seeking divine intelligence, grace, and love. Ending intentions with ‘Thy will be done, this or something even better’ prevents rigidity and opens the path to gifts the human mind might overlook.
Honoring Ancestors Through Life Choices
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(00:02:53)
  • Key Takeaway: Honoring ancestors’ sacrifices means living a full, thankful life and maximizing opportunities they did not possess, such as basic modern amenities.
  • Summary: Nicole Avant honors her ancestors by living a life full of gratitude and making the best of the freedoms they fought for, like indoor plumbing and the right to vote. Disconnecting from these sacrifices leads to collective victimization and an addiction to problems.
The Power of Honesty in Writing
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(00:08:52)
  • Key Takeaway: Authentic healing and empowerment for others are best achieved by showing one’s mess and being as honest as possible in sharing experiences.
  • Summary: Clarence Avant encouraged Nicole to be brutally honest in her memoir, arguing that owning one’s mess teaches others who have learned through other people’s messes. This transparency is crucial for inspiring and empowering readers.
Avoiding Life Force Depletion
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(00:09:48)
  • Key Takeaway: Never give your life force away to anyone, as doing so is a form of abuse that leads to personal death or stagnation.
  • Summary: The speaker was warned not to give her life force to the person who took her mother’s life, as this drains energy and prevents living. Giving one’s life force away to toxic relationships or friends who continue to take is recognized as abuse.
Self-Worth Dictates Life Level
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(00:17:56)
  • Key Takeaway: An individual’s success and fulfillment are capped by their level of self-worth, not merely their hopes and dreams.
  • Summary: People remain stuck at the level of their self-worth, regardless of their aspirations. Building self-worth is the mechanism for transforming one’s entire life, enabling the overcoming of limiting beliefs and imposter syndrome.
Declaring Relationship Standards
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(00:36:01)
  • Key Takeaway: Shifting prayer from vague desires to specific standards, coupled with the declaration ‘This or something better,’ attracts the right partner who aligns energetically.
  • Summary: Nicole Avant shifted her prayer to demand an equal or higher partner, refusing to settle for lower energy dynamics she had previously experienced. She wrote down every characteristic she desired and placed it in her Bible, leading to meeting Ted Sarandos. Energetic alignment, not just surface compatibility, was the ultimate test for their relationship.
The Importance of Declaring Truths
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(00:39:41)
  • Key Takeaway: Making declarations, even acknowledging personal faults, centers awareness and facilitates healing and necessary correction.
  • Summary: Declarations are a powerful tool for healing and maintaining awareness, especially when acknowledging mistakes like being rude at a dinner party. It is important to speak the truth about what needs correction without over-apologizing for everything.