Call Her Daddy

Hilary Duff: Life & Love After Lizzie

February 25, 2026

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  • Hilary Duff is currently experiencing a professional 'Renaissance' fueled by a decade-long break, which has allowed her to reclaim ownership over her past work and present self. 
  • Growing up as a child star meant Hilary Duff constantly battled the internal question of whether people loved her or the character Lizzie McGuire, a struggle she is now confident enough to celebrate. 
  • Hilary Duff's early marriage and becoming a young mother (at 22/23) shifted her focus away from her career, and navigating the subsequent divorce required her to prioritize her own well-being and fight for her happiness for the sake of her son. 
  • Hilary Duff attributes overcoming relationship abandonment wounds to her partner consistently showing up over time, leading to full trust. 
  • The difficulty in maintaining intimacy in long-term relationships often stems from a reluctance to have vulnerable, blame-free communication about needs and desires. 
  • Duff emphasizes that achieving a 'dream life' with a successful career and four children is only possible with significant behind-the-scenes support, debunking the myth that one can 'have it all' without help. 

Segments

Hilary Duff Renaissance and Ownership
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(00:01:12)
  • Key Takeaway: Hilary Duff views her current career resurgence as a ‘sick victory lap’ where she finally has full ownership over her identity and opinions.
  • Summary: The current period is described as a celebratory welcome, indicating a strong public appetite for her return after a significant break. Duff felt that previously, she didn’t fully own her past work, leading to discomfort when performing older material. Rehearsals helped her claim these songs, making them hers to keep and perform authentically.
Child Stardom and Public Scrutiny
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(00:05:26)
  • Key Takeaway: Growing up famous means having decades of personal chapters, including awkward phases, constantly available for public commentary and footage.
  • Summary: Sustaining a career for decades is noted as an underrated achievement, especially given the difficulty of growing up under constant public review. Duff admitted to operating from a place of insecurity, wondering if people still cared about her beyond the character Lizzie McGuire. She struggled with the battle of whether people loved her or the character that never seemed to grow up.
Lizzie McGuire Audition Story
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(00:11:51)
  • Key Takeaway: Hilary Duff secured the role of Lizzie McGuire after initially being unprepared for the audition due to being recently fired from another show.
  • Summary: Duff was fired from an ABC show at age ten when she was replaced by twins to allow for longer work hours, which was devastating. She initially refused the Lizzie McGuire audition but changed her mind after visiting friends in LA, showing up completely unprepared for the monologue. After being challenged by the casting director to return prepared, she nailed the second audition by embracing her ‘wacky’ self.
Fame Realization and Early Career
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(00:15:43)
  • Key Takeaway: The reality of fame hit Hilary Duff when she was mobbed at a mall and had to be hidden in a supply closet by an employee.
  • Summary: Before the show became a massive success, being a Disney kid was not widely respected, unlike the current climate. Duff credits her strict upbringing for helping her avoid major Hollywood pitfalls, though she recognizes the industry is inherently difficult. She is only now taking credit for how she navigated that challenging period.
2000s Pop Culture Lore Clarification
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(00:20:38)
  • Key Takeaway: Hilary Duff intentionally crashed the Freaky Friday premiere, and she was not surprised when Lindsay Lohan later appeared at the Cheaper by the Dozen premiere.
  • Summary: Duff confirmed she had military training for Cadet Kelly, including rifle handling and baton work, which she still remembers. She confirmed her on-screen romance with Penn Badgley in Gossip Girl occurred when the cast tension was already high, and she was recognized for Gossip Girl in Paris years later. She also confirmed dating Aaron Carter after meeting him at his birthday party, which was attended by the Olsen twins.
Young Motherhood and Body Image
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(00:33:56)
  • Key Takeaway: Hilary Duff’s early motherhood (Luca born around age 23) isolated her from friends and subjected her to intense scrutiny regarding her post-baby body.
  • Summary: Duff knew she wanted to be a young mom and prioritized having children over her career at that time, which initially confused her peers. She experienced significant physical changes during pregnancy and faced paparazzi labeling her post-baby photos as a ‘debut.’ Nursing was difficult and caused shame, but subsequent pregnancies made her less sensitive to the external noise about body changes.
Divorce and Finding Happiness
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(00:43:38)
  • Key Takeaway: To navigate her divorce at age 27/28, Hilary Duff relied heavily on therapy and the realization that she needed to fight for her own happiness, setting an example for her young son.
  • Summary: Duff made the difficult decision to end her marriage before her son was two, prioritizing a peaceful separation to avoid confusing him later. She mourned the loss of her expected life path but allowed herself to find joy again once the divorce was finalized. She advises others in similar situations to seek therapy and stand up for themselves, as their children will learn from their example of prioritizing self-worth.
Meeting Current Husband Matthew
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(00:51:18)
  • Key Takeaway: Hilary Duff met her current husband, Matthew, through her AR person at RCA, and both felt an immediate, strong connection that she initially tried to sabotage.
  • Summary: Their first meeting lasted two hours, and Matthew later admitted in an email that he thought he was in love after just that initial conversation. Duff, coming out of chaos, initially broke up with him after three months because he was ’too nice,’ testing if he would stick around. They reconnected after he texted her about Taylor Goldsmith (Dawes) marrying Mandy Moore, leading to them getting back together.
Relationship Conflict and Resolution
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(00:57:47)
  • Key Takeaway: A dramatic fight following an omakase dinner led to a temporary separation, which Hilary Duff felt leveled the playing field in the relationship.
  • Summary: Following a fight fueled by wine, Hilary Duff’s partner left the next morning, dramatically hitting her bag on the way out of the Grunnage Hotel with the door left open. Duff felt this incident, where he left the door open, ultimately leveled the playing field in their dynamic. Her partner, a self-described ‘crazy Gemini,’ refused to speak to her for a week, frustrating the Libra Duff who needed balance and a genuine apology.
Path to Trust and Commitment
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(01:00:30)
  • Key Takeaway: Trust in her partner, built through consistent showing up over time despite her own baggage, was the key to overcoming abandonment wounds.
  • Summary: Duff stated that the key to overcoming abandonment wounds was trusting her partner, which required a lot of time as he consistently showed up and sheltered her emotions through three pregnancies. She changed her mind about marriage after seeing him patiently lean into fatherhood, specifically when he showed up as a full Ninja Turtle for Halloween for her son Luca. Her partner proposed two months after she sent him a picture of a ring she liked, suggesting she could see it on her ‘young cute hand’ rather than her ‘old 60 year old hand.’
Songwriting Collaboration on Intimacy
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(01:05:42)
  • Key Takeaway: Healthy communication in long-term relationships requires communicating needs without blame, recognizing that shifts in intimacy are normal after the honeymoon phase.
  • Summary: Working with her husband on the song ‘Roommates,’ which addresses losing the spark, showed his willingness to tackle uncomfortable topics. Duff noted that it is hard to call out issues without bruising a partner’s ego, especially when life and family demands are high. The most vulnerable conversations involve sex life dynamics, but opening that door is life-changing; success hinges on communicating needs using ‘I need and I want’ rather than ‘I wish you would.’
Navigating Public Perception of Sexuality
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(01:11:03)
  • Key Takeaway: The backlash to her song lyrics referencing sex and porn confirmed that the public still expects Hilary Duff to adhere to the ‘squeaky clean child star’ image, despite her being an adult.
  • Summary: Duff felt the polarizing reaction to her song’s lyrics about sex was intentional, as the song was a plea relatable to women experiencing lulls in relationships. She noted the irony that the internet was outraged by her singing about sex as an adult after reporters inappropriately questioned her about her virginity as a teenager. She stated she is making music for herself and adults, not children, and that the expectation to maintain a ‘good girl’ label was hard to exist within while doing normal teenage things.
Reflecting on Past Relationships and Growth
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(01:17:02)
  • Key Takeaway: Duff values her tendency to always try to mend things and keep her heart open, which prevents her from becoming jaded despite industry experiences.
  • Summary: When relationships fall apart, Duff admits she sometimes gets ‘bitten in the ass’ when the outcome isn’t what she hoped for. She values her ability to always try and keep her heart open, which she feels keeps her healthy and not rough around the edges after navigating the industry since age nine. She stated that releasing music about difficult family dynamics was necessary for her personal journey, even if it invites speculation for clicks.
Toxic Mom Group Speculation
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(01:22:25)
  • Key Takeaway: Duff felt sad and used when an article about a toxic mom group went viral and was immediately connected to her life through online speculation.
  • Summary: Hilary Duff felt sad and taken aback when an article about a toxic mom group surfaced, especially since the dots connecting it to her were easily made by the public. She felt used because the timing coincided with her career resurgence, questioning if the incident would have occurred otherwise. Her husband, Matthew, posted an Instagram story addressing the situation, which Duff found funny but does not censor, appreciating his fierce support.
Future Vision and Work-Life Balance
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(01:25:09)
  • Key Takeaway: Duff’s dream life in 10 years involves hosting a full Thanksgiving table, touring the world twice, and prioritizing her relationship with her husband.
  • Summary: In ten years, Duff envisions hosting Thanksgiving with a full table of family and friends, having toured the world twice, and likely released another record. She expressed that watching her children grow is the best thing, making it hard to imagine life without a baby in the house, but she hopes to maintain her current relationship with her kids. She explicitly stated that the Lizzie McGuire reboot is not interesting to her at age 40, though perhaps at 55 or 60.
Advice on Motherhood and Career
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(01:28:08)
  • Key Takeaway: Mothers should not feel guilty about pursuing their passions outside the home, as it is healthy for both the parent and the children to experience life independently.
  • Summary: Duff hopes her music inspires moms to find the thing they love outside the household, stressing it is important for children to have wins and losses without their mother being privy to everything. She acknowledged that having four kids forces her to make choices about where to be, but believes her children are stronger because of it, and she does not want them to feel guilty about growing up. She clarified that she cannot ‘have it all’ without a huge support system, including nannies, an assistant, her husband, and a label, emphasizing that her success comes at a significant cost.
Connecting with Long-Term Fans
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(01:32:23)
  • Key Takeaway: Duff is grateful her fans supported her music career when the industry was not accepting of actors transitioning to music, allowing her to connect with them now as adults.
  • Summary: Duff expressed eternal gratitude to her fans, noting she would not have a music career without them, as the music industry was not initially accepting of actors becoming musicians. She is now happy to connect with them as adults, having lived life during her break, allowing them to discuss what that experience is like. She appreciates that her music connected with people and had ’legs for 20 years,’ allowing her to embrace the Lizzie McGuire past without shame.