Call Her Daddy

Elizabeth Banks: How Do I Know If He’s My Soulmate? (FBF)

February 13, 2026

Key Takeaways Copied to clipboard!

  • Success and happiness are often achieved without having a clear career path figured out immediately after college, as demonstrated by Elizabeth Banks's journey into acting and Alex Cooper's into podcasting. 
  • Maintaining a long-term relationship, like Elizabeth Banks's 30-year marriage, requires both partners to prioritize their individual security and identity before fully merging their lives. 
  • The journey to motherhood, especially through surrogacy, involves navigating significant personal grief and societal shame related to fertility challenges, which requires reframing the goal from being pregnant to simply being a parent. 
  • The stigma and shame surrounding women's issues, often perpetuated by the patriarchy, are tools used to keep women silent and feeling isolated, which must be combatted by seeking community and connection. 
  • Autonomy over one's body, particularly regarding abortion access, is framed as essential for life, liberty, and equality, especially given the dangers of forced pregnancy, particularly for Black women in the South. 
  • Feminism is presented not as a political stance that harms a career, but as a necessary acknowledgment and honoring of the historical fight by previous women that allows current women the privilege to succeed and use their voices for change. 

Segments

Sponsors and Introduction
Copied to clipboard!
(00:00:00)
  • Key Takeaway: Sephora and Uncrustables are featured as initial sponsors for the Call Her Daddy episode.
  • Summary: The episode opens with advertisements for Sephora skincare products and Uncrustables grab-and-go snacks. Alex Cooper then formally welcomes guest Elizabeth Banks to Call Her Daddy.
Elizabeth Banks’ Career and Wine
Copied to clipboard!
(00:01:18)
  • Key Takeaway: Elizabeth Banks is an actress, writer, producer, and director known for major films like The Hunger Games and Pitch Perfect, and she is involved in the canned wine business, Archer Roose.
  • Summary: The host lists Elizabeth Banks’s extensive career achievements across acting and directing. Banks confirms her involvement with Archer Roose canned wine, expressing relief that canned wine avoids the feeling of being ‘wine-shamed’ in public.
Upbringing and College Experience
Copied to clipboard!
(00:02:54)
  • Key Takeaway: Elizabeth Banks grew up working class, which necessitated working constantly during college at UPenn to maintain her grades and afford attendance, contrasting with wealthier peers.
  • Summary: Banks recounts her parents being relatively chill about drinking due to her father’s Navy background, but her high school focus was purely on academic achievement to escape her small town. Attending UPenn on scholarship meant she worked through summers and missed social events, leading to difficult choices between work shifts and studying.
Career Realization and Ambition
Copied to clipboard!
(00:06:52)
  • Key Takeaway: Elizabeth Banks realized her passion for acting later in life, finding pride and self-worth in entertaining people, which provided a clear path forward after college.
  • Summary: Acting was not a childhood dream, but it provided a strong sense of self-worth, especially making people laugh. She continued schooling because it was a known path, eventually leading to an agent and commercial work shortly after graduation, allowing her to pay off student loans.
Advice on Career Uncertainty
Copied to clipboard!
(00:07:58)
  • Key Takeaway: It is normal to feel lost about career direction after college, and the advice is to ‘dream bigger’ and focus on creating employability and working hard in any role taken.
  • Summary: Both hosts agree that many successful people, including themselves, did not have a defined career goal in college. The advice for the lost is to set a farther-out goal and work toward it, emphasizing that employability and hard work in any job builds necessary skills.
Meeting Her Husband in College
Copied to clipboard!
(00:12:37)
  • Key Takeaway: Elizabeth Banks met her husband on the very first night of college, though he was initially pursuing another student named Kate.
  • Summary: Banks met her future husband at a fraternity party after calling a friend who knew someone there. She recalls him being somewhat uninterested initially and pursuing a cute nursing student named Kate. Their connection progressed quickly after subsequent chance encounters on campus.
First Date and Relationship Progression
Copied to clipboard!
(00:16:01)
  • Key Takeaway: Their first date was a memorable, sophisticated jazz club experience that impressed Banks, and their relationship progressed by making joint decisions about their future path.
  • Summary: The first date involved drinking Old Fashioneds at a jazz club, which felt very sophisticated compared to her small-town background, and she was impressed when he tipped the taxi driver well. They navigated post-college life by making honest commitments about staying together and moving forward, even while maintaining individual identities.
Keeping Passion Alive in Marriage
Copied to clipboard!
(00:23:53)
  • Key Takeaway: The secret to staying together for 30 years is choosing well initially and consistently recommitting, with the primary rule being ‘don’t cheat.’
  • Summary: Banks suggests that if you choose the right partner, staying together is not difficult; the main requirement is avoiding infidelity. A pivotal conversation occurred where they agreed to move forward together, acknowledging their pasts but committing to a shared future of marriage and family.
Journey to Motherhood and Surrogacy
Copied to clipboard!
(00:35:24)
  • Key Takeaway: Elizabeth Banks experienced unexplained infertility where embryos would not implant, leading her to mourn the loss of pregnancy before embracing surrogacy as the best path to motherhood.
  • Summary: Banks always wanted children with her husband but discovered she has unexplained infertility, meaning she could create embryos but they would not implant. She initially resisted surrogacy, but advice helped her realize her goal was to be a mom, not necessarily to be pregnant, which helped overcome feelings of shame and grief.
Autonomy and the Movie ‘Call Jane’
Copied to clipboard!
(00:45:02)
  • Key Takeaway: The film ‘Call Jane’ depicts a 40-year-old conservative housewife finding empowerment and purpose by seeking an illegal abortion in the 1960s, highlighting women’s historical lack of bodily autonomy.
  • Summary: The movie is based on the real Chicago collective that provided illegal abortion care before Roe v. Wade. Banks’s character makes a life-saving decision for herself, which sparks a personal coming-of-age realization about her own sheltered life. This narrative underscores that women’s political and economic power is historically very recent.
Navigating Male-Dominated Spaces
Copied to clipboard!
(00:50:07)
  • Key Takeaway: Feeling safe through career security and finding solidarity in numbers are crucial for women to speak up against power imbalances in male-dominated industries.
  • Summary: Banks notes that women have only recently gained economic power, making it difficult to speak out against abuse when young and lacking security. The power of movements like #MeToo comes from data and numbers, proving that individual experiences of mistreatment are not isolated incidents. The best tool against speaking up is isolation, so finding mentors and talking to other women breaks that silence.
Breaking Silence and Isolation
Copied to clipboard!
(00:56:39)
  • Key Takeaway: Isolation is a deliberate tool used to maintain silence around difficult issues, making connection essential for empowerment.
  • Summary: People should seek out mentors and talk to older women and friends about issues that carry shame and stigma. This silence is a tool of the patriarchy, designed to make individuals feel like they are the only ones experiencing a problem. Feeling less alone is the crucial first step toward overcoming imposed isolation.
Abortion Access and Bodily Autonomy
Copied to clipboard!
(00:57:22)
  • Key Takeaway: Bodily autonomy dictates that personal moral stances on abortion should not translate into legislative control over others’ lives and bodies.
  • Summary: The speaker argues that if abortion is not right for an individual, they should not get one, but they lack the right to dictate others’ choices. Forcing pregnancy is deemed inhumane, especially considering the high maternal mortality rates, particularly for Black women in the South, where it can be a death sentence. The fight for reproductive rights must continue because rights are won, not given.
Feminism and Career Decisions
Copied to clipboard!
(01:02:04)
  • Key Takeaway: Feminism is defined as the pursuit of equality and equal opportunities, and embracing it does not negatively impact a career if decisions are made from positivity rather than fear.
  • Summary: The speaker does not make career or life decisions based on fear of backlash; instead, actions stem from a desire for a more equitable world. Being a feminist is honoring the women who fought for the opportunities women currently possess, such as working, earning money, and hosting successful podcasts. Gratitude for current opportunities necessitates continuing the feminist fight to pay it forward.