The Rachel Hollis Podcast

942 | 7 Surprising Ways to Make Friends as an Adult (Even If You Feel Awkward)

March 16, 2026

Key Takeaways Copied to clipboard!

  • Authentic friendship in adulthood requires intentional effort, moving beyond mere proximity, and is significantly aided by signaling your true self through personal presentation. 
  • The fastest way to find like-minded friends is to dress in a way that reflects who you want to be, as your style acts as a visual cue to attract your 'people.' 
  • To accelerate friendship formation, actively seek out niche classes or activities based on shared hobbies, be the one to follow up on invitations, and be honest about your desire to build community. 

Segments

The Problem with Adult Friendships
Copied to clipboard!
(00:02:27)
  • Key Takeaway: Making friends as an adult feels harder than when we were children based on proximity.
  • Summary: Rachel Hollis discusses how friendship formation changes after childhood, noting that adult connections often remain superficial (symbiotic relationships) rather than deep community belonging.
Tip 1: Dress as Yourself
Copied to clipboard!
(00:04:34)
  • Key Takeaway: Authentic personal style signals your true interests and attracts like-minded people.
  • Summary: Hollis details how conforming to industry or community style norms prevents you from finding your true peers. She shares her decision to dress authentically after moving, resulting in more connections.
The Celebrity Style Test
Copied to clipboard!
(00:23:53)
  • Key Takeaway: Choose friendship with the person whose style you admire, not the one whose style you emulate out of obligation.
  • Summary: Hollis uses an exercise comparing celebrities with her current style versus her aspirational style (Gwyneth Paltrow vs. Melody Asani/Flea) to illustrate the importance of dressing like the person you want to be.
Tip 2: Sign Up for Niche Classes
Copied to clipboard!
(00:28:32)
  • Key Takeaway: Hyper-specific classes guarantee shared interest and signal commitment, filtering out flaky acquaintances.
  • Summary: The advice is to join niche workshops (sourdough, trail running) rather than just joining a gym. Shared discomfort in a beginner’s class can accelerate intimacy.
Tip 3: Say Yes to Everything
Copied to clipboard!
(00:34:04)
  • Key Takeaway: Expanding your routine activities increases your chances of meeting potential friends.
  • Summary: Hollis encourages saying ‘yes’ to invitations to widen the ‘bullseye’ of opportunities, citing an unexpected lunch invitation from Seth Godin as an example of a rewarding experience outside her comfort zone.
Tip 4: Go on Artist Dates
Copied to clipboard!
(00:38:30)
  • Key Takeaway: Feeding your creative spirit makes you a more interesting, vital person who is easier to connect with.
  • Summary: This involves taking yourself on a weekly solo date to do something fun or curious, which generates energy and gives you new things to talk about.
Tip 5: Be the One Who Follows Up
Copied to clipboard!
(00:43:44)
  • Key Takeaway: Friendship favors the brave; take the initiative to schedule the next meeting.
  • Summary: Hollis stresses that many potential friendships die because everyone waits for the other person to reach out. Being the initiator closes the deal and filters out flakes.
Tip 6: Become a Regular
Copied to clipboard!
(00:53:02)
  • Key Takeaway: Consistency in visiting the same place builds familiarity and reduces social friction.
  • Summary: By becoming a regular at a coffee shop or farmer’s market, you see the same people, creating a comfortable environment for conversation to start naturally.
Tip 7: Be Honest About Seeking Friends
Copied to clipboard!
(00:54:51)
  • Key Takeaway: Admitting you are looking for friendship accelerates the connection with others who feel the same way.
  • Summary: Instead of pretending everything is figured out, simply state that making friends is a goal. This opens the door for mutual connection and avoids trying to control the exact parameters of the friendship.