Science Friday

Mating, Marriage, And Monogamy In The Age Of Apps

February 14, 2026

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  • A historically unprecedented one-third of the adult U.S. population is single, driven by factors like easier relationship dissolution and a prolonged courtship period known as "slow love." 
  • Relationships formed through online dating apps appear to be just as stable as those formed in person, partly because app users are often more actively motivated to form a partnership. 
  • Modern relationships are shifting from being a necessity for survival/resources to being centered on joy and pleasure, leading people to spend significantly more time vetting partners before marriage, which is now viewed as the "grand finale." 

Segments

Introduction and Guest Context
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(00:00:33)
  • Key Takeaway: Dr. Justin Garcia is an evolutionary biologist, executive director of the Kinsey Institute, and author of ‘The Intimate Animal’.
  • Summary: The episode of Science Friday, airing on Valentine’s Day, features Dr. Justin Garcia to discuss dating and pair bonding. Garcia is an evolutionary biologist and executive director of the Kinsey Institute. He is also the scientific advisor to Match.com and has a new book titled ‘The Intimate Animal: The Science of Sex Fidelity, and Why We Live and Die for Love’.
Singles in America Study
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(00:01:43)
  • Key Takeaway: The annual Singles in America study surveys over 5,000 U.S. singles, representing the largest study of its kind with over 80,000 participants collected since 2010.
  • Summary: The Kinsey Institute conducts the annual Singles in America study in partnership with Match.com, funding the research on single adults’ attitudes and behaviors. Over 100 million single adults exist in the U.S., a historically unprecedented number for evolutionary biologists to observe. This high rate of singlehood implies significant economic and social implications.
Reasons for Increased Singlehood
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(00:03:01)
  • Key Takeaway: Increased singlehood results from easier relationship exits (divorce) and a prolonged courtship period where people spend years dating, engaging, and hanging out before marriage.
  • Summary: Factors contributing to more single adults include greater permissibility of divorce and a prolonged courtship period compared to a few decades ago. This extended dating phase allows individuals more flexibility to choose their partner or call off the relationship. This shift in relationship structure is interesting for evolutionary biologists studying mating behavior.
Women’s Independence and Marriage
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(00:04:33)
  • Key Takeaway: As women gained financial independence, marriage shifted from being a traditional necessity for resources to a choice based on joy and pleasure.
  • Summary: The increased participation of women in the workforce after World War II altered perceptions of marriage. Traditionally, marriage was a necessity for weathering life and dividing labor, often with a male providing income. Now, relationships are increasingly sought for joy and pleasure, granting individuals, especially women, more freedom in partnership decisions.
Online vs. In-Person Dating
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(00:05:51)
  • Key Takeaway: Relationships originating from online dating apps show stability metrics similar to those met in person, and active app users are often more motivated to partner.
  • Summary: Studies comparing couples who met online versus in person show relatively similar trajectories regarding relationship stability and marriage likelihood. People who actively create profiles and use dating apps may be more motivated to form partnerships than those incidentally dating. Despite reported challenges with apps, relationship stability appears comparable across connection methods.
The Concept of Slow Love
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(00:08:06)
  • Key Takeaway: Modern courtship follows ‘slow love,’ where people spend years getting to know a partner before marriage, viewing marriage as the ‘grand finale’ rather than the start of an adventure.
  • Summary: Slow love describes the trend of significantly slowing down the courtship process, involving long periods of dating and relationship definition before formalizing commitment. This contrasts sharply with past generations who married quickly after short dating periods. This pattern is an adaptive response to the challenge of gathering sufficient information about a potential partner.
Biology of Pair Bonding and Love
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(00:11:17)
  • Key Takeaway: Only 3% to 5% of mammals form intense pair bonds, making the human capacity for romantic love a remarkable biological outcome shaped by selection pressures.
  • Summary: Humans possess the biological architecture to form intense, often lifelong, pair bonds, a trait shared by very few mammal species. While cats may show bonding, romantic love is distinct; dogs and coyotes, however, do form intense pair bonds, and wolf packs are often led by an alpha couple. This capacity for love is nested within layers of social connection, including family involvement.
Ethical Non-Monogamy Trends
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(00:12:53)
  • Key Takeaway: About 21% of people in the national study have tried some form of open relationship, indicating high interest in negotiating sexual novelty alongside pair bonds.
  • Summary: Interest in ethical non-monogamy, or negotiated non-monogamy, is increasing, though previous generations also explored open relationships. Roughly one in five Americans have experienced an open relationship at some point. People often manage the desire for sexual novelty either through infidelity, opening the relationship, or harnessing novelty within the primary pair bond through shared experiences.
Advice for App Dating
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(00:15:27)
  • Key Takeaway: To increase chances of finding a good match on dating apps, users must actively engage with and fully complete their own profiles, as it is a two-way search process.
  • Summary: Users should avoid setting overly strict criteria, as research shows many people fall in love with partners they were not initially attracted to. A critical piece of advice is to fully engage with one’s own profile by providing pictures and information that reveal something about the self. Forgetting to engage one’s own profile means missing opportunities for others who are actively searching for them.