The Jordan Harbinger Show

1300: As a Cop You're No Stranger to Pal's DV Danger | Feedback Friday

March 20, 2026

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  • Domestic violence rates are estimated to be significantly higher within law enforcement families compared to the general population, a critical context for the listener's dilemma regarding her police officer friend. 
  • True support for a friend considering reconciliation with an abusive partner involves encouraging deep reflection on the partner's commitment to change, rather than simply condoning the decision or setting rigid, potentially damaging boundaries. 
  • The listener's intense feelings of anger, shame, and abandonment stemming from profound personal trauma (husband's death, premature birth, disability) are likely coloring her current grievances against friends who failed to meet her needs regarding a baby shower. 
  • When dealing with concerns about family posting children's photos online, focus on setting clear, non-debatable rules regarding digital privacy (like using private photo apps) rather than getting bogged down in complex explanations about AI risks. 
  • Self-forgiveness for past indiscretions is often best approached indirectly by first practicing acceptance, curiosity, and compassion toward the event, allowing forgiveness to become a byproduct rather than the primary goal. 
  • Thoughtful digital participation, which involves setting privacy boundaries, is presented as a more pragmatic approach for parents than total digital avoidance, balancing connection with family against potential long-term digital footprint risks. 

Segments

Sponsor Read: The Defender
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(00:00:00)
  • Key Takeaway: The Defender vehicle is promoted for fitting both everyday driving and adventurous needs.
  • Summary: Advertisement for The Defender, highlighting its design, comfort, storage, and available models (90, 110, 130).
Sponsor Read: Progressive Insurance
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(00:01:04)
  • Key Takeaway: Progressive makes it easy to check for savings by bundling home and auto policies.
  • Summary: Advertisement for Progressive Insurance, encouraging listeners to check eligibility for savings by bundling policies.
Feedback Friday Introduction
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(00:01:34)
  • Key Takeaway: Jordan Harbinger and Gabe Mizrahi introduce the Feedback Friday format, which includes listener letters and advice.
  • Summary: Jordan Harbinger welcomes listeners and introduces Gabe Mizrahi. They recap the week’s long-form content and explain the Friday format.
Correction on Chip Manufacturing
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(00:02:36)
  • Key Takeaway: Most semiconductor chips are manufactured in Taiwan (TSMC), not China, a crucial distinction in geopolitics.
  • Summary: A listener corrects a previous episode, detailing that Taiwan dominates chip manufacturing (TSMC has 35% global market share), while Chinese companies hold less than 5%.
Listener Letter 1: DV in Cop Circle
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(00:06:41)
  • Key Takeaway: Setting firm boundaries against a potentially violent spouse, even if it risks a friendship, is reasonable, especially when all parties are law enforcement.
  • Summary: A listener seeks advice on supporting a friend whose police officer husband exhibits verbal aggression and property destruction, and whether to ban him from their home if reconciliation occurs. Statistics on DV in law enforcement are discussed.
DV Rates in Law Enforcement
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(00:09:40)
  • Key Takeaway: Domestic violence appears to occur at a significantly higher rate within law enforcement families compared to the general population.
  • Summary: Gabe shares studies suggesting DV rates in police families are 2 to 24 times higher than in the general population, noting that broader definitions of abuse (like coercive control) influence these numbers.
Listener Letter 2: Grief and Friendship
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(00:23:42)
  • Key Takeaway: The writer is navigating profound grief (husband’s death, premature baby survival) complicated by feelings of abandonment and resentment toward supportive friends over a missed baby shower.
  • Summary: A widow recounts the trauma of losing her husband while giving birth prematurely. She feels hurt and resentful toward two close friends (Morris and Sadie) who failed to follow through on throwing her a baby shower, despite showing immense support during the crisis.
Analyzing Grief and Friend Dynamics
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(00:33:40)
  • Key Takeaway: The writer’s intense grief and past wounds around abandonment are likely amplifying her current pain regarding the baby shower, making it difficult to separate her needs from unfair expectations of her friends.
  • Summary: Jordan and Gabe discuss how the writer’s current suffering (disability, financial strain, loss) is coloring her perception of her friends’ actions, suggesting she needs to differentiate between her legitimate needs and specific grievances against Sadie and Morris.
Sponsor Read: Haya Health
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(00:48:49)
  • Key Takeaway: Haya offers clean, sugar-free, chewable vitamins designed by pediatricians to fill nutritional gaps in children’s diets.
  • Summary: Advertisement for Haya Health children’s vitamins, emphasizing zero sugar, clean ingredients, and third-party testing.
Gratitude and Baby Hug
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(00:48:23)
  • Key Takeaway: The host offers encouragement and a hug to the listener regarding their baby and relationship work.
  • Summary: The host concludes the previous segment by expressing gratitude and sending love and a hug to the listener and their baby, advising them to keep pouring love into the baby and asking for what they need.
Haya Health Sponsorship
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(00:48:49)
  • Key Takeaway: Haya Health offers clean, sugar-free vitamins designed around modern kids’ nutritional gaps, including a greens powder option.
  • Summary: The first sponsor segment introduces Haya Health, focusing on the problem of ultra-processed food and sugary children’s vitamins. Haya is presented as a clean, zero-sugar alternative with organic fruits/veggies, offering a special deal via the Jordan Harbinger Show link.
Audible Sponsorship and Learning
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(00:50:15)
  • Key Takeaway: Audiobooks via Audible are essential for the host’s preparation, offering a convenient way to ‘download knowledge’ while multitasking.
  • Summary: The host discusses using Audible to consume content for show prep, highlighting its convenience for learning while walking or relaxing. They mention specific titles and encourage listeners to start a free trial.
Listener Mail: Social Media Boundaries
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(00:51:26)
  • Key Takeaway: A new parent is concerned about grandparents (‘Glama,’ ‘Nan,’ and ‘Grumpy’) posting photos of their baby on Facebook and creating an early digital footprint, especially concerning AI.
  • Summary: The listener details anxieties about their mother (‘Glama’) and in-laws (‘Nan and Grumpy’) posting photos of their four-month-old daughter on social media, fearing data scraping, AI training, and the child’s future digital footprint. They ask how to set boundaries.
Digital Footprint Statistics
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(00:55:34)
  • Key Takeaway: Statistics show a vast majority of parents post about their children publicly, resulting in thousands of photos online without consent by age 13, posing risks like facial recognition database inclusion.
  • Summary: The hosts review research indicating high rates of ‘sharenting,’ noting that children often have over 1,300 photos online by age 13, which can be used for AI training and surveillance, though the actual measurable harm from normal family sharing is debated.
Advice on Setting Boundaries
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(01:01:04)
  • Key Takeaway: The host advises the listener to set clear, non-debatable rules about photo sharing using a private app, avoiding complex AI explanations.
  • Summary: The host suggests avoiding a major family debate by simply stating the decision: no photos on public social media or third-party apps, requesting family use only the private photo app. They suggest an Aura Frame as a potential compromise.
Self-Forgiveness and Acceptance
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(01:06:38)
  • Key Takeaway: If self-forgiveness is too hard, the listener should focus on acceptance—acknowledging reality without arguing with it—which can lead to compassion and eventual forgiveness.
  • Summary: The listener asks how to forgive oneself for past indiscretions, especially when people are no longer in their lives. The host suggests acceptance as a more attainable first step, arguing that forgiveness is often a byproduct of acceptance, curiosity, and compassion.
Learning from Regret
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(01:10:31)
  • Key Takeaway: Regrets should be used constructively to gain insight, inform future actions (like apologizing or speaking up sooner), and create meaning from past mistakes.
  • Summary: The host elaborates that mistakes must happen to generate opportunities for meaning-making. By learning from what they said or what conversations they missed, the listener can evolve, making self-forgiveness easier.
Networking Course Promotion
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(01:13:02)
  • Key Takeaway: The host promotes his free, non-schmoozy six-minute networking course to help listeners build valuable relationships proactively.
  • Summary: The host plugs his free networking course, emphasizing the importance of building relationships before they are needed (‘Dig that well before you get thirsty’).