Something You Should Know

How to Find True Love & Why Some People Pursue Impossible Goals

February 12, 2026

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  • The most irritating behaviors for airline passengers involve other people invading personal space, poor hygiene, and loud noise, rather than turbulence or cramped seating. 
  • Long-term romantic attraction is predicted less by initial impressions (looks, charm) and more by compatibility built over time, suggesting dating apps that prioritize surface-level traits can be limiting or demoralizing. 
  • People who pursue impossible, long-term goals often do so because they believe in a future beyond their own lifetime, finding meaning and purpose in the journey and the potential long-term benefit to humanity or the world. 

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Podcast Ad Read
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  • Key Takeaway: The Jordan Harbinger Show is recommended for thought-provoking conversations, recently featuring discussions on Scientology and protecting mind/body health.
  • Summary: The Jordan Harbinger Show is recommended for listeners who enjoy interesting and thought-provoking ideas. Recent episodes covered the experience of children raised in Scientology and advice from Dr. Rhonda Patrick on modern world protection for the mind and body.
Episode Topic Preview
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(00:01:04)
  • Key Takeaway: The episode will cover annoying airline passenger behaviors, science of love attraction, smartphone skin impact, and impossible goal pursuits.
  • Summary: This episode of Something You Should Know will reveal the most hated airline passenger behaviors and explore what science says about finding long-term love, contrasting it with online dating challenges. Additionally, the show addresses how smartphones can cause skin problems and features stories of people pursuing goals they know they will never achieve.
Dell Tech Days Ad
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  • Key Takeaway: Dell Tech Days offers significant deals on PCs, including the Dell 14 Plus with Intel Core Ultra processors, along with premium perks.
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Airline Passenger Etiquette
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(00:03:16)
  • Key Takeaway: The primary source of irritation for airline passengers is the behavior of fellow travelers, such as invading personal space or ignoring hygiene.
  • Summary: Surveys confirm that air travelers are most irritated by other passengers’ actions, including invading personal space, poor hygiene, loud talking, and excessive drinking. These etiquette failures are amplified by the stress and tight quarters of air travel, making silence often preferable to interaction at 30,000 feet.
Science of Romantic Attraction
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(00:04:42)
  • Key Takeaway: Initial attraction factors like looks and charm have little predictive power for long-term relationship success, which is constructed over time.
  • Summary: While initial popularity is often predicted by physical attractiveness and social confidence, these attributes do not meaningfully predict long-term relationship success. A key factor in early connection is vulnerability; being open and sharing slightly uncomfortable topics can increase liking and closeness.
Evolution of Partner Selection
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(00:11:16)
  • Key Takeaway: Ancestral environments favored compatibility developed through long-term group interaction, a dynamic undermined by dating apps that emphasize surface-level desirability.
  • Summary: Historically, people formed relationships in small groups over long periods, which favored the development of compatibility. Dating apps shift focus to surface-level traits like physical attractiveness, potentially hindering the formation of compatibility because they allow users to bail early before deeper connection can form.
Quince Clothing Advertisement
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  • Key Takeaway: Quince offers high-quality clothing, like cashmere sweaters, directly from factories, bypassing middlemen to provide quality without high brand markup.
  • Summary: Quince provides quality clothing with excellent fit, eliminating the need to send many items back. They achieve amazing prices by working directly with top factories and cutting out brand markups. Customers receive free shipping and 365-day returns.
Shopify E-commerce Platform Ad
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  • Key Takeaway: Shopify is a comprehensive commerce platform that supports millions of businesses with AI tools to build online stores and find customers.
  • Summary: Shopify powers 10% of all US e-commerce, offering ready-to-use templates and helpful AI tools for tasks like writing product descriptions. They provide 24/7 customer support for users building their online presence. A trial is available for $1 per month.
Self-Promotion vs. Vulnerability
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(00:17:36)
  • Key Takeaway: Asking a potential partner for help early on can be more appealing than projecting an image of having everything under control.
  • Summary: While people naturally self-promote initially, research suggests identifying something the other person can help you with can increase appeal. Furthermore, relationships foster self-expansion, meaning one should not wait until they are ‘perfect’ to enter a relationship.
Dating App Pitfalls
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(00:20:27)
  • Key Takeaway: The opt-out nature of dating apps removes the necessity of giving initial impressions a second or third chance, hindering compatibility development.
  • Summary: Dating apps encourage users to bail early upon discovering a red flag, which removes the possibility of compatibility forming, as first impressions are often unstable. Over-focusing on paper preferences via filters can unnecessarily limit options and raise expectations beyond what is realistic.
Red Flags and Motivated Reasoning
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(00:23:08)
  • Key Takeaway: Sustaining close relationships requires motivated reasoning—compartmentalizing and downplaying a partner’s flaws, though distinguishing forgivable flaws from genuine red flags remains difficult.
  • Summary: Partners must compartmentalize flaws through motivated reasoning to sustain interdependent relationships, often reframing annoying traits as adorable. The single hardest distinction for everyday people to make is separating a forgivable human flaw from a genuine red flag that signals future trouble, though proactive aggression is cited as a flaw that should not be overlooked.
Advice for Seeking Love
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(00:25:46)
  • Key Takeaway: Focus on regrowing and diversifying social networks around shared activities rather than solely using apps to find a romantic partner.
  • Summary: Do not entirely ditch dating apps, but actively work to regrow social networks, which have atrophied over the last two decades. Introduce friends to other friends for the sake of network growth, reintroducing the historically effective strategy of meeting partners through friends of friends.
Vulcan History Podcast Ad
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  • Key Takeaway: Vulcan History’s new season explores the Regency era, known for social change, sex scandals, and King George IV’s reign.
  • Summary: The Regency era, familiar from Bridgerton and Jane Austen, was a time of explosive social change and scandal. Vulcan History’s new season covers the balls, gowns, and chaos of this period.
Galactic Football League Podcast Ad
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  • Key Takeaway: The Stonewolves, an elite commando group, reunite after decades of disillusionment to confront an old enemy.
  • Summary: The Stonewolves, who failed in their fight against the Cratarakian Empire, reunite after forty years of trying to live peaceful lives. A friend and a bitter enemy force them back into action. The Stonewolves is season 11 of Scott Sigler’s Galactic Football League series.
Pursuing Impossible Goals
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(00:29:42)
  • Key Takeaway: Individuals pursuing goals unlikely to be achieved in their lifetime share bottomless patience, perseverance, and a belief in a long-term future for the world.
  • Summary: People dedicate their lives to goals they know will likely never be realized, such as finding the Oran Pendek or achieving SETI contact. These individuals enjoy the journey, viewing their quest as a vehicle for adventure or a noble effort to protect future generations, like those working on planetary defense.
Case Study: Impossible Quests
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(00:33:23)
  • Key Takeaway: Photographer Jeremy Holden seeks the elusive Oran Pendek in Sumatra, viewing the quest as a means to protect the rainforest for future enjoyment.
  • Summary: Jeremy Holden has spent decades in Sumatra searching for the Oran Pendek, a creature science doubts exists, hoping proof will serve as a ‘conservation hammer’ to protect the rainforest. Another profiled individual, Bonnie Morton, dedicated her life to ending poverty in her city, even as conditions worsened, motivated by paying forward kindness shown to her.
The Value of Long-Term Belief
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(00:46:32)
  • Key Takeaway: Pursuers of impossible goals demonstrate optimism by believing in a world worth working for long after they are gone.
  • Summary: These individuals believe in a world that will exist beyond their own lifespan, justifying their efforts to protect environments or search for extraterrestrial life for future descendants. Their commitment suggests a profound optimism that the long term is worth striving for, even without personal payoff.
Smartphone Germs and Skin Health
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(00:50:42)
  • Key Takeaway: Holding a phone against the face transfers bacteria and grime, which can exacerbate acne breakouts.
  • Summary: Phones collect bacteria from various surfaces like tables and counters. This bacteria can transfer to the skin when the device is held against the cheek, potentially worsening acne. Regularly cleaning the screen and using headphones can help reduce this bacterial transfer.