This American Life

881: I Want What I Want

February 22, 2026

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  • The episode explores people choosing to pursue desires contrary to common behavior, exemplified by a six-year-old wanting to be stung by a bee to join his family's experience. 
  • Comedian John Tothill argues that gluttony, unlike greed, is a humble virtue worth celebrating, using the story of 19th-century oyster glutton Edward Dando as an example of living authentically for one's desires. 
  • Producer Tobin Low's segment reveals that the desire to maintain connection after a breakup, even with a hostile ex, can stem from a deep-seated need for validation or a fear of having missed a crucial moment of connection. 

Segments

Bee Sting Wish Fulfillment
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(00:00:29)
  • Key Takeaway: A six-year-old boy, Carver, deliberately seeks a bee sting to share an experience his family members already have.
  • Summary: Filmmaker Arielle Knight documented a family where the older son, Carver, had never been stung by bees while his younger brother and father had. Carver ultimately requested and received a sting from his father, Nehemiah, to join the shared experience, demonstrating a desire for inclusion through discomfort.
Gluttony as Virtue
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(00:10:22)
  • Key Takeaway: Gluttony should be celebrated as a virtue distinct from greed, as it involves a humble celebration of life’s pleasures.
  • Summary: John Tothill argues that modern society suffers from cruel greed, exemplified by tech leaders, while the age of gluttony, like that of Edward Dando, is over. Dando, a 19th-century figure who repeatedly ate hundreds of oysters and skipped the bill, exemplified a humility where the celebration of food mattered more than personal consequence. Tothill relates this to his own near-fatal bout of food poisoning, which he views as a consequence of indulging his own gluttony.
Reconnecting with Exes
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(00:26:01)
  • Key Takeaway: Evan Roberts pursued reconciliation with 17 ex-partners, driven primarily by the unresolved mystery of one ex, Keith, who sent a deliberately voided breakup card.
  • Summary: Evan Roberts spent years attempting to become friends with his exes, a mission focused on understanding why Keith, his ‘big ex,’ cut off contact after Evan reacted cautiously to Keith’s desire to move in together. Keith’s breakup card, featuring a hole where the sentiment should be, symbolized the void in their communication, which Evan felt was a waste of a profound connection. The subsequent Zoom call revealed Keith had interpreted Evan’s request to slow down as a definitive friend-zoning.
Mistrial Declared Over Shirt
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(00:44:16)
  • Key Takeaway: Judge Mark Pittman declared a mistrial on the first day of a federal Antifa trial due to a defense attorney wearing a shirt depicting civil rights leaders.
  • Summary: During jury selection in a high-profile Texas federal trial, Judge Pittman became agitated by a defense attorney’s poster board and subsequently her shirt, which featured images of civil rights leaders. The judge deemed the shirt a politically charged demonstrative that could not be corrected by jury instruction, leading him to declare a mistrial, an action he claimed to have never taken before. A defense attorney suggested the judge was actually using the shirt as a pretext because he disliked the jury panel’s strong anti-ICE sentiments.