The Diary Of A CEO with Steven Bartlett

Human Sleep Expert: Don't Pee In The Middle Of The Night & Why Night Time Sex Isn't A Good Idea!

February 9, 2026

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  • Sleep is governed by two systems: sleep drive (related to adenosine buildup) and sleep rhythm (circadian rhythm), which dictates optimal timing for activities. 
  • The 'Nap-a-Latte' involves drinking black coffee immediately followed by a 25-minute nap to maximize alertness by clearing adenosine while caffeine blocks new buildup. 
  • Waking up between 1 and 3 AM is a biological norm due to core body temperature fluctuations, and avoiding urination or looking at a clock during this time helps maintain low heart rate and melatonin production for falling back asleep. 
  • The 4-7-8 breathing technique is an effective distraction method to combat 'monkey mind' and lower heart rate for falling asleep, as one cannot count and worry simultaneously. 
  • Sleep environment preferences are highly individual; militant adherence to biohacking rules can cause relationship friction, and sleeping with the TV on is acceptable if it works for both partners. 
  • Chronic sleep deprivation is a growing global crisis, exacerbated by social media and the blurring of work/life boundaries due to digital work. 
  • Undiagnosed obstructive sleep apnea affects 1 in 7 adults, is as common as diabetes, and is linked to a 45% higher risk of developing Alzheimer's disease. 
  • Over-the-counter sleep aids containing diphenhydramine (like PM medications) may be linked to an increased risk of Alzheimer's disease. 
  • Melatonin is a sleep regulator, not a sleep initiator, and should be used selectively (e.g., for jet lag or shift work), not routinely, especially by children due to potential hormonal impacts. 
  • Waking up at the same time seven days a week is the single most important tip for regulating the circadian rhythm and improving sleep consistency. 
  • Magnesium supplementation is often necessary due to soil depletion, and specific forms like Magnesium 3ONate or those from Upgraded Formulas have been clinically studied for sleep benefits. 
  • Vitamin D acts as a circadian pacemaker, regulating melatonin production, and a morning routine incorporating 15 minutes of sunshine is recommended for better sleep regulation. 
  • Dreams function as nightly emotional metabolism and a problem-solving mechanism, and recurring nightmares can potentially be altered by rewriting and reading a positive, changed ending before sleep. 

Segments

Common Sleep Doctor Questions
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(00:00:30)
  • Key Takeaway: The most frequent patient inquiries involve middle-of-the-night awakenings, pillow selection, and optimal timing for sexual activity.
  • Summary: The sleep expert frequently addresses waking up unable to return to sleep, the correct pillow purchase, and the scientifically backed best time for sex. These common issues highlight practical, everyday sleep and lifestyle concerns.
Chronotype and Genetic Sleep Code
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(00:01:08)
  • Key Takeaway: A genetic sleep code called chronotype dictates the timing of key hormone releases like melatonin and cortisol, influencing the ideal daily schedule.
  • Summary: Chronotypes determine when hormones are released, allowing for the scheduling of activities like coffee and alcohol consumption for maximum benefit. Understanding one’s chronotype can even improve the ability to grasp complex concepts.
The Function of Dreams
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(00:01:45)
  • Key Takeaway: Dreams function as ’emotional metabolism,’ processing emotional states experienced during the day, and nightmares occur when this processing is interrupted by high emotion.
  • Summary: Dreams are crucial for working through daytime emotional experiences. Nightmares represent an interruption in this processing loop, causing the individual to wake up before resolution. The meaning of a dream is contextual to the individual dreamer.
Sleep Specialist Credentials and Approach
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(00:02:38)
  • Key Takeaway: The expert is a clinical psychologist and a Diplomate of the American Board of Sleep Medicine, uniquely qualified to treat disordered sleep through behavioral habits rather than medication.
  • Summary: The specialist focuses on behavioral habits that are easy to fix to improve sleep quality, noting that changing sleep fundamentally changes a person’s life. Seventy-five percent of sleep issues are rooted in anxiety or fear, falling within the scope of psychology.
Prop Demonstration: Sleep Testing
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(00:07:24)
  • Key Takeaway: Modern sleep studies utilize Home Sleep Tests (HSTs) instead of traditional in-lab setups due to hygiene concerns amplified during the COVID-19 pandemic.
  • Summary: The expert brought props including various pillows for fitting demonstrations and a home sleep test device. HSTs replaced older methods requiring 27 electrodes in a hospital setting, making at-home monitoring more common.
Adenosine and the Nap-a-Latte Trick
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(00:09:40)
  • Key Takeaway: Sleep drive is driven by adenosine accumulation, and the ‘Nap-a-Latte’ technique uses a short nap to clear adenosine while caffeine blocks new buildup, providing four hours of energy.
  • Summary: Adenosine builds up as glucose is metabolized, causing sleepiness by binding to specific receptors. Caffeine is structurally similar and blocks these receptors. Drinking coffee quickly and immediately napping for 25 minutes clears existing adenosine, maximizing caffeine’s effect.
Sleep Rhythm and Chronotypes Defined
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(00:12:31)
  • Key Takeaway: Sleep rhythm, or circadian rhythm, dictates predictable times for biological functions like hunger and sleep, and chronotypes define an individual’s specific circadian timing.
  • Summary: When circadian rhythm aligns with sleep drive, sleep occurs optimally. Chronotypes, determined by genetic factors like the PER3 gene, classify individuals as early birds (Lions) or night owls (Wolves), among others.
Optimal Timing for Sexual Activity
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(00:14:11)
  • Key Takeaway: The scientifically optimal time for sex is in the morning when hormones like estrogen, testosterone, adrenaline, and cortisol are high, and melatonin is low, contrasting with typical late-night intimacy.
  • Summary: Most people are intimate between (10:30) and (11:30) PM, but hormone profiles at this time (high melatonin, low sex hormones) are counterproductive for performance. Morning erections in biologically male partners serve as a natural indicator of peak readiness.
Caffeine Timing: Hydrate Before Caffeinate
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(00:16:54)
  • Key Takeaway: Caffeine consumption should be delayed for 90 minutes after waking to allow naturally high morning cortisol and adrenaline to drop, maximizing caffeine’s stimulating effect afterward.
  • Summary: Sleep is a dehydrating event, so the first liquid consumed should be 15 to 20 ounces of water to rehydrate before consuming diuretic caffeine. Waiting 90 minutes ensures caffeine boosts the system when natural stimulant hormones have waned.
Chronotype Profiles: Lion and Bear
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(00:19:04)
  • Key Takeaway: Lions (10-15% of population) are early birds who prefer routine, with peak cognitive work occurring between (9:30) AM and (11:30) AM.
  • Summary: Lions wake early (around (5:00) AM) as their cortisol starts early, and they prefer light breakfasts before morning workouts. Their cognitive performance drops significantly after (2:00) PM, making afternoons better suited for low-cognition tasks.
Chronotype Profiles: Wolf and Dolphin
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(00:22:41)
  • Key Takeaway: Wolves are creative risk-takers who peak late (e.g., (2:00) AM), while Dolphins are highly intelligent, fast-talking individuals who crave long sleep but have short sleep drives, often exhibiting mild anxiety.
  • Summary: Wolves are associated with late-night creative breakthroughs and dislike mornings intensely. Dolphins are detail-oriented and are the easiest chronotype to work with once their hormonal fluctuations are understood.
Chronotype Shifts Across Lifespan
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(00:24:56)
  • Key Takeaway: Chronotypes change throughout life, starting as Lions in infancy, becoming Wolves during adolescence, and often shifting back toward earlier bedtimes (like Lions) in the mid-50s due to decreased melatonin production.
  • Summary: Children progress through chronotypes until settling around age 23-24, but aging causes melatonin production to slow down or shift earlier, leading to grumpiness if sleep quality declines. Poor quality sleep is argued to be worse than poor quantity sleep.
School Start Times and Academic Performance
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(00:27:22)
  • Key Takeaway: Aligning school schedules with adolescent chronotypes significantly boosts academic performance, as demonstrated by studies showing improved grades when first periods start later.
  • Summary: Morning types (Lions) naturally earn higher grades because exams often align with their peak alertness. Shifting high school start times by just one hour resulted in students improving by a full letter grade, proving performance is tied to biological timing.
Sleep Duration Myth and Minimums
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(00:30:45)
  • Key Takeaway: The eight-hour sleep standard is a myth originating from 1930s studies; the optimal range is seven to nine hours, but getting less than six hours impairs driving ability.
  • Summary: The ideal sleep duration falls between seven and nine hours, though some individuals manage with less. Operating machinery or driving with under six hours of sleep is dangerous due to impaired function.
Parenting Sleep Strategies and On-Call Method
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(00:31:35)
  • Key Takeaway: Parents should educate children on sleep necessity and implement strict guidelines, using an ‘on-call method’ where parents alternate responsibility for nighttime awakenings to protect the other parent’s sleep.
  • Summary: The on-call method involves one parent handling night wakings on designated nights (e.g., M/W/F) while the other sleeps undisturbed. This structure prevents sleep deprivation from destroying parental relationships and marital intimacy.
Alcohol’s Impact on Deep Sleep and Alzheimer’s
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(00:33:43)
  • Key Takeaway: Alcohol destroys Stage 3 and 4 deep sleep, which is critical because the glymphatic system clears accumulating proteins linked to Alzheimer’s disease during this stage.
  • Summary: Using alcohol as a stress reliever severely degrades sleep quality, even if the person appears asleep. To mitigate damage, one should alternate alcoholic drinks with water and stop consumption three hours before bedtime.
Optimal Eating Window and Heart Rate
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(00:37:28)
  • Key Takeaway: All fluids and food intake should cease three hours before bed because digestion keeps the heart rate elevated, and a heart rate of 60 or below is required to enter unconsciousness.
  • Summary: Eating too close to bedtime elevates heart rate, preventing the necessary drop below 60 BPM required for sleep onset. Sugar intake specifically slows melatonin production, further hindering the ability to fall asleep.
Relaxation Exercises for Sleep Onset
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(00:40:26)
  • Key Takeaway: A structured one-hour wind-down routine, divided into three 20-minute segments (preparation, hygiene, relaxation), is necessary to land the plane for sleep, which is not an on/off switch.
  • Summary: The final 20 minutes of the wind-down should be dedicated to calming activities like meditation or prayer, and setting an alarm for the start time prevents sliding past the bedtime window. Progressive Muscle Relaxation (tensing and releasing muscles) is an effective technique for releasing physical tension.
Muse Headband for Meditation Feedback
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(00:42:03)
  • Key Takeaway: The Muse headband measures brain waves, providing real-time audio feedback where music volume lowers as the user approaches the relaxed ‘alpha state’ of meditation.
  • Summary: The device uses internal sensors to monitor brain activity during meditation sessions guided by an app. Achieving the alpha state, characterized by relaxed brain waves, is signaled by the music volume decreasing and birds chirping.
Middle-of-Night Waking Protocol (4-7-8 Breathing)
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(00:45:26)
  • Key Takeaway: When waking between 1 and 3 AM, one must avoid getting up to urinate unless necessary, avoid looking at the clock, and immediately employ the 4-7-8 breathing technique to lower heart rate.
  • Summary: Standing up to use the bathroom spikes the heart rate above the required 60 BPM threshold for sleep, while checking the time triggers anxiety and stops melatonin production. The 4-7-8 technique (inhale 4, hold 7, exhale 8) forces the heart rate down and prevents ‘monkey mind’ worry.
Breathing Technique for Sleep
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(00:48:40)
  • Key Takeaway: The 4-7-8 breathing technique distracts the brain from worrying thoughts and lowers heart rate to induce sleep.
  • Summary: The 4-7-8 breathing technique involves inhaling for 4, holding for 7, and exhaling for 8 seconds, though variations like 4-6-7 are acceptable when starting out. This method avoids ‘monkey mind’ because one cannot simultaneously count and worry. Completing 20 cycles of this exercise is the goal, which can be tracked by extending fingers.
Distraction Methods for Insomnia
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(00:50:08)
  • Key Takeaway: Counting backwards from 300 by threes is a mathematically complex and boring distraction to induce sleep.
  • Summary: Listening to podcasts or movies to fall asleep is a common distraction technique, though the content preference (like serial killer documentaries) is highly personal. The effectiveness of these distractions lies in occupying the brain enough to allow the natural sleep process to take over. For those who need audio, specialized pillow speakers or earbuds designed for sleeping are available.
Sleep Environment Flexibility
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(00:52:15)
  • Key Takeaway: Sleep environments must be conducive to both partners, and rigid adherence to biohacking rules can damage relationships.
  • Summary: The sleep doctor shares that his wife requires the TV on to sleep, illustrating that sleep is flexible and what works for one person may not work for another. Creating a sleep environment that accommodates both partners, even if it involves unconventional elements like a TV, is crucial for relationship harmony. If sleep quality is maintained (as measured by metrics like Whoop scores), the specific routine is less important than the outcome.
Non-Sleep Deep Rest & Positivity
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(00:55:37)
  • Key Takeaway: Non-sleep deep rest (Yoga Nidra) provides restorative benefits equivalent to 20 minutes of sleep per hour of practice.
  • Summary: If struggling to sleep, practicing non-sleep deep rest (lying relaxed) is beneficial unless anxiety increases heart rate, in which case one should leave the bed. When waking at night, the brain defaults to negativity, so replacing the first negative thought with a positive affirmation about relaxing is key. If the heart rate increases, moving to another room for light reading before returning to bed allows the natural sleep process to resume.
Global Sleep Crisis Statistics
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(00:57:36)
  • Key Takeaway: One in three adults and nearly 80% of teenagers are chronically sleep deprived, with Gen Z heavily impacted by social media.
  • Summary: Studies indicate a global sleep crisis, with significant sleep deprivation rates among adults and teenagers. Social media usage is cited as a major culprit for Gen Z losing sleep, leading some employed individuals to call in sick just to catch up on rest. Contributing factors also include societal anxiety and the lack of physical dividers between work and rest areas in modern living environments.
Sleep Apnea Prevalence and Dangers
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(01:02:46)
  • Key Takeaway: Obstructive sleep apnea affects 1 in 7 adults globally, is as common as diabetes, and 80-90% of cases remain undiagnosed.
  • Summary: Sleep apnea involves repeatedly cutting off air supply during sleep, often indicated by snoring, gasping, morning headaches, and mood swings. Undiagnosed apnea prevents deep sleep necessary for brain clearance, increasing the risk of developing Alzheimer’s disease by 45%. Symptoms differ between men and women, with women often presenting more arousal-based symptoms rather than heavy snoring.
Sleep Apnea Treatment Options
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(01:08:46)
  • Key Takeaway: Treatments for sleep apnea include CPAP machines, oral appliances that move the jaw forward, and tongue-vibrating devices.
  • Summary: The fear of using a CPAP mask often prevents diagnosis, but alternatives exist, such as oral appliances that structurally advance the jaw to open the airway. A third option involves a device worn on the tongue that vibrates to shrink the tongue slightly, opening the posterior airway space. The sleep doctor, who has severe sleep apnea, uses a CPAP machine but plans to use an oral appliance for travel.
Insomnia Myths and Wake Time Regularity
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(01:13:16)
  • Key Takeaway: The number one tip for insomnia is maintaining the exact same wake-up time seven days a week, regardless of bedtime.
  • Summary: Insomnia manifests in various ways, including difficulty falling or staying asleep, or waking too early. A major myth is trying to ‘catch up’ on sleep by going to bed early after a bad night, which disrupts the circadian rhythm. Waking up at the same time sets the internal clock by signaling the brain to stop melatonin production 14 hours later, directly determining when sleepiness will occur.
Melatonin: Hormone vs. Supplement
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(01:20:37)
  • Key Takeaway: Melatonin is a hormone that regulates sleep rhythm, not a sleep initiator, and its unregulated use in the US carries significant risks.
  • Summary: Melatonin is a hormone, not a sleep initiator (which is adenosine), and should be prescription-only due to its systemic effects, unlike in the US where it is sold as an unregulated supplement. Overdosing on melatonin is linked to vivid dreams and nightmares, and it interacts negatively with SSRI antidepressants, birth control, and other medications. Melatonin is only appropriate for specific uses like jet lag, shift work, or diagnosed deficiencies, and should generally not be given to children.
Jet Lag Solution with Time Shifter
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(01:28:11)
  • Key Takeaway: Jet lag is a math problem solved by using light exposure at specific times, guided by the Time Shifter app.
  • Summary: The Time Shifter app originated from research done with astronauts on the ISS to manage their disrupted circadian rhythms due to constant sunrises and sunsets. The app calculates the precise timing and intensity of light exposure needed to shift the body’s internal clock by up to eight hours to match the destination time zone. During times when light is not needed, the app advises using caffeine, and melatonin is used strategically when it is time to sleep.
Effective Sleep Supplements
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(01:34:44)
  • Key Takeaway: Fixing deficiencies in Vitamin D, Magnesium, and Iron should be the first step before using supplements like Valerian root or GABA.
  • Summary: Single-ingredient supplementation is preferred to ensure correct dosage, as multi-ingredient products may contain insufficient amounts of active ingredients. Valerian root, often combined with hops, acts as an anti-anxiety agent to calm the mind before sleep. GABA (gamma-aminobutyric acid) is the brain’s natural ‘brake’ and can be supplemented to slow down overthinking, but correcting underlying deficiencies is the primary recommendation.
Magnesium Supplementation Details
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(01:38:42)
  • Key Takeaway: Only a few magnesium brands, like Magteen (Magnesium 3ONate) and Upgraded Formulas, have published research supporting their efficacy for sleep.
  • Summary: Magnesium is vital for hundreds of bodily functions, and supplementation is often required due to soil depletion. The expert vouches for specific brands because they have undergone clinical trials. Magnesium intake can cause an introspective feeling of calm and aids in muscle relaxation.
Banana Tea Magnesium Hack
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(01:40:14)
  • Key Takeaway: Banana peel tea is a natural method to consume magnesium, potentially offering better absorption due to phytosteroids from the skin.
  • Summary: Supplementation should ideally come from food, but soil quality makes magnesium difficult to obtain from vegetables alone. Boiling a whole banana (stem removed) for five minutes creates a ‘banana tea’ that extracts magnesium. This ritual should be consumed 30-40 minutes before bed to avoid nighttime urination.
Vitamin D and Morning Routine
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(01:42:56)
  • Key Takeaway: Vitamin D is a crucial circadian pacemaker that regulates melatonin production, best obtained via 15 minutes of morning sunshine.
  • Summary: A recommended morning routine involves going outside upon waking for 15 deep breaths, drinking 15 ounces of water, and getting 15 minutes of direct sunshine. This exposure helps the body produce Vitamin D, which is essential for regulating the internal clock and melatonin release.
Sleep Tracker Accuracy Concerns
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(01:46:24)
  • Key Takeaway: Wearable sleep trackers are currently limited because they measure proxies like heart rate instead of direct brainwaves to determine sleep depth.
  • Summary: The depth of sleep is determined by brainwaves, which are difficult to measure accurately from a finger, leading trackers to create estimations based on pulse or oxygen levels. Users should focus on significant deviations in their data rather than absolute numbers, as consistent inaccuracy suggests the device is simply wrong. The Whoop device was noted as being the closest to hospital-grade polysomnography among tested devices.
Temperature Control for Sleep Quality
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(01:49:41)
  • Key Takeaway: Temperature is the easiest factor to manipulate to significantly improve or degrade sleep quality, as cooling the body promotes deeper sleep stages.
  • Summary: Products like 8-sleep or the Orion Sleep System actively manage bed temperature, which is critical for maintaining consistent deep sleep, especially for those experiencing night sweats like menopausal women. Consistent temperature stimulus prevents the body from waking up due to thermal fluctuations.
Dream Therapy and Processing
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(01:50:33)
  • Key Takeaway: Dreams serve as nightly emotional metabolism and a mechanism for problem-solving or practicing future scenarios, meaning they always hold significance for the dreamer.
  • Summary: Dream therapy focuses on using dreams in a therapeutic context to process emotional material, unlike simple dream interpretation. Dreams allow the brain to work through difficult emotions or consolidate information, acting like nightly therapy sessions that facilitate moving forward.
Reprogramming Recurring Nightmares
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(01:54:53)
  • Key Takeaway: Recurring nightmares can be changed by rewriting the dream with a positive ending and reading the new narrative multiple times before bed over several days.
  • Summary: By changing the negative ending of a nightmare in writing, the brain is primed to process the event positively, preventing the disruptive awakening that stops emotional processing. This technique helps the dreamer move past the trauma associated with the dream loop. For severe trauma, this process is best done with a therapist.
Bedroom Environment for Optimal Sleep
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(02:01:27)
  • Key Takeaway: Controlling the five senses—sight (darkness), sound (buffering), touch (coolness), smell (aromatherapy), and air quality—is essential for a restorative bedroom environment.
  • Summary: Air quality is vital, and using an air purifier in the bedroom is highly recommended as it is the room where most time is spent. Aromatherapy using lavender or Elang Elang, delivered via a diffuser (not candles), has scientifically supported benefits for sleep. Sleeping naked aids thermoregulation, but wearing socks can initially help initiate cooling by dissipating heat through the feet.
Pillow Fitting and Sleep Position
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(02:08:16)
  • Key Takeaway: The perfect pillow keeps the nose aligned with the sternum, and the ideal sleeping position is on the left side to prevent gastroesophageal reflux disease (GERD).
  • Summary: Pillows must provide support to maintain neutral spinal alignment, preventing neck strain that disrupts deep sleep; pillows with a gusset offer better neck support. Stomach sleeping is the least optimal position due to lower back strain, and sleeping on the right side can exacerbate acid reflux.
Relationship Health and Sleep Timing
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(02:02:41)
  • Key Takeaway: Scheduling difficult conversations in the evening or on the pillow is detrimental to both sleep quality and relationship health, making morning discussions preferable.
  • Summary: Emotional arousal, such as arguing, increases heart rate and prevents the necessary relaxation response for sleep. Scheduling important discussions after dinner or, ideally, after a full night’s sleep allows for clearer thinking and less emotional reactivity. The mood and cognitive function necessary for healthy relationship interactions are significantly impaired by sleep deprivation.
Best Time for Romantic Connection
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(02:05:58)
  • Key Takeaway: The optimal time to fall in love or connect romantically aligns with an individual’s chronotype, such as 11 p.m. for Wolves (like the host) and 8 p.m. for Dolphins.
  • Summary: Hormonal timing and chronotype dictate when individuals are most receptive to connection; being exhausted severely limits the ability to form positive impressions. Lions are best suited for morning dates (7 a.m.), while Bears prefer mid-afternoon (4 p.m.). Understanding these biological rhythms can improve relationship timing.
Closing Question: Healthcare Change
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(02:20:40)
  • Key Takeaway: The expert’s primary wish for U.S. healthcare is universal testing for sleep apnea, which remains severely underdiagnosed.
  • Summary: The expert believes widespread sleep disorder testing would address a major public health epidemic, improving overall well-being. A secondary, idealistic wish is for everyone globally to achieve one perfect night of sleep to observe the resulting positive impact on innovation, peace, and human endeavor.