This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von

#646 - Hey Patty!!

March 14, 2026

Key Takeaways Copied to clipboard!

  • Theo Von celebrated St. Patrick's Day by sharing a personal anecdote about a shy girl named Patty and then researched the historical origins of St. Patrick, noting he was once a slave in Ireland. 
  • Theo discussed his recent trip to Albuquerque, New Mexico, highlighting the strong Latino culture, the prevalence of construction work, and the local obsession with green chilies. 
  • Theo announced that tickets for his new movie, "Busboys," co-starring David Spade, go on sale March 16th, emphasizing that the film was independently made outside of the traditional Hollywood system. 
  • The segment heavily features listener voicemails sharing bizarre and often unbelievable experiences from working as busboys, aligning with the promotion for Theo Von's movie "Busboys." 
  • Busboys often occupy an outsider status in restaurant hierarchies, respected only for the brief task of carrying food from the kitchen to the table. 
  • One caller's story about being beaten up at Denny's over an all-you-can-eat pancake dispute was met with skepticism by Theo Von. 

Segments

Peloton Ad Read
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(00:00:00)
  • Key Takeaway: Peloton is promoting its Pilates classes, which offer sessions from 10 to 45 minutes with minimal equipment.
  • Summary: Peloton is advertising its Pilates program, which is trusted by over two million members and features experienced instructors. Classes are available in sessions ranging from 10 to 45 minutes and require little to no equipment. The cross-training swivel screen allows users to transition easily between cardio and mat work.
St. Patrick’s Day Anecdote
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(00:00:30)
  • Key Takeaway: Theo Von opened the episode wishing listeners a happy St. Patrick’s Day while recalling a childhood memory of a shy girl named Patty taking out the garbage.
  • Summary: The host opened the episode by acknowledging St. Patrick’s Day. He shared a story about a neighborhood girl named Patty who was very shy and would dress up, sometimes wearing her mother’s lipstick, just to take the garbage cans to the curb. The simple act of greeting her would bring her visible joy.
Researching St. Patrick’s History
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(00:02:10)
  • Key Takeaway: St. Patrick was a 5th-century Christian missionary born in Britain who was captured and enslaved in Ireland before escaping and later returning as a missionary.
  • Summary: Theo looked up the history of St. Patrick, learning that he was captured by Irish raiders at age 16 and enslaved for six years before escaping. He later felt called back to Ireland as a missionary, becoming the leading figure in Ireland’s conversion from paganism to Christianity. The famous story of him driving snakes out of Ireland is considered a legend, as Ireland had no native snakes after the last ice age.
Albuquerque Trip Observations
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(00:05:12)
  • Key Takeaway: Albuquerque is characterized by its strong Mexican culture, hardworking people, prevalence of one-story homes, and an intense local focus on green chilies.
  • Summary: Theo recounted his trip to Albuquerque (which he humorously called ‘Alba Kirk’) to watch a friend’s sister play basketball at the Pit. He noted the city is very Latino, full of hardworking people, and features architecture consisting almost entirely of one-story ranch-style homes. Everywhere he went, people persistently asked if he had tried the local green chilies.
Personal Update and Dating Break
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(00:09:13)
  • Key Takeaway: Theo is taking a break from dating and interacting with women to focus on self-improvement and his relationship with his higher power, admitting he sometimes resists necessary self-care routines.
  • Summary: Theo shared that he started a break from dating to focus on himself and his spiritual connection, using the metaphor of checking in on his ‘magnet.’ He confessed to his therapist that he sometimes resists doing all the things he knows he should do for self-care, fearing that positive change might lead to things being different.
Addressing Public Commentary
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(00:17:49)
  • Key Takeaway: Theo explained that he often doesn’t address every cause or topic requested by listeners because he can be burnt out from absorbing negative world events and needs to prioritize his own well-being.
  • Summary: Theo addressed why he doesn’t speak on every cause people suggest, stating that absorbing too much horrible world news can be ruinous, and he must focus on his own survival and responsibilities. He noted that sometimes he lacks sufficient clean information to speak confidently on a topic, and he must protect his mental space from the overwhelming nature of current events.
Views on US-Israel Relations
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(00:20:56)
  • Key Takeaway: Theo expressed deep discomfort with America’s relationship with Israeli political leaders, describing the regime as feeling ‘satanic’ and obsessed with control, fearing consequences for the US if citizens do not speak up.
  • Summary: Theo voiced his strong disagreement with the US government’s relationship with Israel’s leaders, feeling it is associated with causing pain and fear, and he believes this could eventually impact Americans. He stated he does not understand why US political leaders, including Trump, are so beholden to this government, which he perceives as having a ‘bloodlust’ for control.
Busboy Movie Promotion
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(00:35:46)
  • Key Takeaway: The movie “Busboys,” starring Theo Von and David Spade, will be released on April 17th, with tickets going on sale March 16th via busboysmovie.com.
  • Summary: Theo detailed the independent creation of the movie “Busboys” with David Spade, noting they funded it themselves after being rejected by traditional Hollywood systems. The film is about two men trying to become waiters and is described as lighthearted and goofy, featuring many friends in supporting roles. He stressed that supporting the film helps fund future projects made outside the established industry gatekeepers.
Busboy Callers Share Stories
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(00:55:10)
  • Key Takeaway: Busboy callers shared stories involving potential sex trafficking offers at high-end restaurants and the dangers of eating leftover food, such as oysters that were previously sucked on by another customer.
  • Summary: A caller from Cincinnati recounted being asked by an older couple if he would have sex with the wife in front of them, highlighting the strange opportunities at high-end establishments. Another caller shared a horrifying experience of eating an oyster left on a table, only to learn later that the original customer habitually sucked on the oysters before spitting them back into the shell.
Busboy Shrimp Etiquette
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(01:03:03)
  • Key Takeaway: Some individuals meticulously consume every last bit of meat from peeled shrimp tails.
  • Summary: A brief anecdote describes someone peeling the final remnants of shrimp meat from the tail section after it has been mostly eaten. This behavior suggests an extreme frugality or dedication to not wasting any food item. The person exhibiting this trait was also noted to have earned their GED.
Denny’s Pancake Brawl Voicemail
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(01:03:16)
  • Key Takeaway: A busboy claimed to be physically assaulted by teenagers over the policy requiring 15 people to purchase 15 all-you-can-eat pancake orders.
  • Summary: Caller Jackson recounted working at a chaotic Denny’s where a group of 15 graduates ordered the all-you-can-eat pancakes, expecting only one person to pay for the entire group’s order. When the policy was explained, the caller alleged the group beat him, forcing him to concede and provide the pancakes. Theo Von expressed strong disbelief regarding the physical altercation.
Federal Government Job Parallel
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(01:05:01)
  • Key Takeaway: A busboy/bar back position was eliminated after a year and a half despite the employee admitting to only working about two hours per shift.
  • Summary: Caller Ethan Anderson described working a low-effort job at a Nashville steakhouse where he clocked in for seven hours but only performed about two hours of actual work. His position as a bar back was eventually eliminated because the manager felt the role was unnecessary. The caller compared this experience to working for the federal government.