The Rewatchables

A CR Month Mailbag!

March 19, 2026

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  • The hosts of "The Rewatchables," Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Craig Horlbeck, are celebrating "CR Month" while addressing listener mailbag questions that propose numerous new potential categories for the show. 
  • Listeners submitted several creative category ideas, including the 'Anti-Apex Award' (worst career moment), the 'Vidal Baboon Award' for best homemade haircut, and the 'Would You Accept This Character's Organ Donation Award.' 
  • The discussion revealed that the hosts plan to make mailbag episodes a quarterly occurrence due to the high volume of listener emails received. 
  • The hosts and listeners spent a significant portion of the mailbag segment brainstorming and debating numerous potential new categories and awards for the 'Rewatchables' Pantheon Pyramid, including the 'That's Good, You Should Be Proud of That Right There Award' for best line reading and the 'Peter North Award' for most effort-filled performance. 
  • The discussion touched on the cinematic trope of criminals using cell phones being unrealistic, leading to a humorous conspiracy theory that Big Phone lobbied Hollywood to make early cell phones seem insecure. 
  • Ryan Gosling's commitment to hosting *SNL* was highly praised, drawing a comparison to LeBron James entering the dunk contest as an A-list star willing to risk looking uncool to elevate his brand. 

Segments

CR Month Opening Banter
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(00:00:32)
  • Key Takeaway: The Ringer Podcast Network is currently celebrating ‘CR Month,’ which Chris Ryan humorously compares to attending his own funeral.
  • Summary: The episode opens by mentioning the Ringer Fantasy Football Show and the Ringer NFL Draft Show, noting a name change similar to a player switching monikers. Chris Ryan acknowledges ‘CR Month’ and the celebration surrounding it. The hosts confirm they are about to transition into the main mailbag content.
Mailbag Frequency and CR’s Energy
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(00:02:05)
  • Key Takeaway: The hosts have decided to increase the frequency of mailbag episodes from annually to quarterly because they receive too many emails.
  • Summary: The hosts announce the shift to quarterly mailbags due to listener volume, noting Craig Horlbeck’s request to limit category suggestions. A listener email questions why CR gets ‘wound up’ around 40 minutes into the podcast, which CR attributes to anticipating exciting segments like the ‘Wayne Jargon’ category or simply fading energy later in the recording.
Limitless #16 and Comedy Picks
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(00:02:25)
  • Key Takeaway: CR’s personal ’number 16 Limitless’ (21st century, high rewatchability) is Margin Call, while Craig Horlbeck suggests Accepted as his equivalent.
  • Summary: CR is asked for his personal ’number 16 Limitless’ movie, which he settles on as Margin Call, believing it surpasses other strong contenders. Craig Horlbeck suggests Accepted (starring Justin Long) as his pick, leading to a brief debate about other Justin Long films like Waiting.
Anti-Apex Award Examples
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(00:07:27)
  • Key Takeaway: A listener proposed the ‘Rock Bottom Award’ (Anti-Apex) for an actor’s lowest career point, suggesting examples like Travolta in Look Who’s Talking and Brando in Iona Dr. Moreau.
  • Summary: The segment explores the ‘Anti-Apex Award,’ focusing on the lowest point in an OG actor’s career, noting that such movies are often not rewatchable. The hosts analyze potential nadirs for their Mount Rushmore actors: Cruise (Oprah’s Sofa), De Niro (Rocky and Bullwinkle), Pacino (Author! Author!), and Denzel (suggesting Virtuosity or Ricochet).
Bad On-Screen Athleticism Category
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(00:15:00)
  • Key Takeaway: A new category suggestion, the ‘Horrible On-Screen Athleticism Award,’ is proposed, with nominees including Tim Robbins in Bull Durham and Wiley Wiggins’ pitching in Dazed and Confused.
  • Summary: Listeners proposed a category for actors displaying terrible athleticism, citing Tim Robbins, Freddie Prince Jr. in Summer Catch, and the poor football throwing in Love Story as examples. The hosts debate Wesley Snipes’ basketball skills in White Men Can’t Jump and note that Tom Cruise’s throwing in War of the Worlds was defended by some as character-appropriate.
Bad Homemade Haircut Award
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(00:22:44)
  • Key Takeaway: The ‘Vidal Baboon Award’ was suggested for movies featuring implausible, stunning haircuts achieved with poor tools, such as kitchen scissors during an emergency.
  • Summary: A listener’s wife, a hairdresser, gets angry at cinematic emergency haircuts, leading to the suggestion of an award for this trope. Examples cited include Matt Damon’s haircut for Franca Potente in The Bourne Identity and Joan Cusack’s work in Working Girl. The hosts agree this type of scene often defies reality.
Apex Mountain Post-Prime Discussion
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(00:40:35)
  • Key Takeaway: A listener suggested the ‘Local Maximum’ category, or ‘I Still Got It Mountain,’ for an actor’s late-career resurgence after a perceived decline, citing Steph Curry’s 2022 championship as a prime example.
  • Summary: This category focuses on an actor’s relative high point that isn’t their absolute peak, like Matt Damon in The Martian. Steph Curry’s 2022 title run and Liam Neeson in Taken are offered as strong examples of this post-prime excellence. The concept is contrasted with an actor’s absolute career nadir.
Worst First Date Movie Category
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(00:46:08)
  • Key Takeaway: The ‘Harvey Keitel Traffic Stop Bad Lieutenant Award’ was proposed for the worst possible scene to watch on a first date, with Monster’s Ball suggested as the ultimate winner.
  • Summary: The segment explores movies that guarantee a date will end poorly, with Bad Lieutenant, Happiness, and 8mm listed as initial nominations. Hereditary and Manchester by the Sea are noted as depressing choices, but Monster’s Ball is deemed the most likely to cause immediate relationship failure due to its content.
Fantasy Criterion Fact Game
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(00:49:56)
  • Key Takeaway: A proposed game called ‘Two Truths and a Lie with Sean Fenty’ involves Fentanye providing a criterion-level fact about a Rewatchable, which the hosts must guess as true or false, with specific penalties/rewards attached.
  • Summary: The proposed game involves Fentanye presenting a fact about a Rewatchable movie, which must be either 100% true or completely made up. If the hosts guess correctly more often than wrong, Fentanye must perform a specific Forrest Gump impression. If they guess incorrectly too often, Fentanye faces a punishment, possibly involving hosting a dedicated episode on a topic he dislikes.
Gosling SNL Hosting Comparison
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(00:50:51)
  • Key Takeaway: Ryan Gosling hosting SNL is equated to LeBron James entering the dunk contest, representing an A-list star fully committing to the performance and elevating his brand by being willing to look uncool.
  • Summary: Gosling’s willingness to fully commit to SNL sketches, even looking foolish, is cited as the reason he is considered the best current host and potentially flirting with Mount Rushmore status. His recent monologue dedicated to Harry Styles’ attractiveness exemplified this commitment. The ability to pop on SNL and ride with anything is seen as a litmus test for being a good actor.
Conspiracy on 90s Crime Movie Cell Phones
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(00:52:11)
  • Key Takeaway: A listener proposed a conspiracy theory that Big Phone lobbied Hollywood in the 90s to make early cell phones seem insecure and traceable in crime movies to slow adoption and keep landlines relevant.
  • Summary: The listener noted that in 90s crime movies, using a cell phone immediately meant capture, forcing criminals to use payphones, suggesting this was a deliberate industry narrative. The hosts questioned the logistics of the conspiracy, noting that telecom companies owned the cell phones. They also pondered the future of untraceable communication methods replacing texts.
Jobs Introduced Casually in Movies
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(00:54:38)
  • Key Takeaway: The hosts loved the listener-suggested category: ‘How is that a job job?’, exemplified by the ‘cock merchant’ in Game of Thrones and the ’eyeball reseller’ in Minority Report.
  • Summary: The segment focused on movie jobs that are introduced casually but seem highly specialized or morally questionable, such as the cock merchant who sells Tyrion or the eye seller in Minority Report. Other examples considered for this category included Joaquin Phoenix’s work in an adult film store in 8mm and the subway worker/snitch in To Live and Die in L.A..
Tom Cruise Rewatchables Guest Choices
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(00:57:05)
  • Key Takeaway: If Tom Cruise were a guest on The Rewatchables, the hosts would choose Eyes Wide Shut for deep insight into the production, or Cocktail to test his retained skills like bartending.
  • Summary: Craig Horlbeck immediately chose Traffic Thunder (likely a misstatement for a Cruise film or a joke), while Bill Simmons chose Eyes Wide Shut to learn everything about the making of the film, including details about Stanley Kubrick. If the goal was to test his public persona, Cocktail would be chosen to see if he could still perform bartending tricks.
Worst Movie Actor Swaps
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(00:59:20)
  • Key Takeaway: The obvious choices for the ‘Would this movie be worse with…’ category are Jared Leto and Dakota Johnson, with the hosts noting Johnson’s recent run of ’turkeys’ despite her engaging personality.
  • Summary: The listener proposed using Jared Leto and Dakota Johnson as the default actors for the ‘worse with’ category, which the hosts agreed was blatant. They noted that Dakota Johnson is a better talk show guest than she is in movies, while they generally root against Jared Leto, especially due to his musical endeavors.
Rewatchables Pantheon Pyramid Construction
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(01:02:16)
  • Key Takeaway: The first inductees for the Pantheon Hall of Fame, based on appearance frequency, would be Cruise (17 films), Pacino (14), De Niro (13), Denzel (12), and Stallone (12), with directors Spielberg, Tony Scott, Mann, and Scorsese in Special Achievement.
  • Summary: The proposed Hall of Fame structure uses actor film count for the Pantheon, establishing the top five actors based on appearances in The Rewatchables. Special Achievement would honor directors like Spielberg and Scorsese who have directed eight or more featured films. Other proposed categories included ‘That Guy Award’ (Joey Pants, John Carroll Lynch) and ‘Special Achievement’ (Russo, Hoffman, Segal).
Unwatchables Month and Bad Performances
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(01:10:41)
  • Key Takeaway: The suggestion for an ‘Unwatchables Month’ included films like Gigli, Rocky V, Battlefield Earth, Freddy Got Fingered, and Catwoman, highlighting the difficulty in finding true ‘stinkers’ now that superhero flops are often defended.
  • Summary: The listener suggested a month dedicated to truly bad movies, noting that Ben Affleck is critical to the pod’s success. The hosts acknowledged the frequent request for Catwoman (Halle Berry) due to its poor quality, contrasting it with modern superhero flops that often have defenders claiming they are misunderstood or brave artistic steps.
Award for Career-Damaging Performance
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(01:12:06)
  • Key Takeaway: A new flex category, the ‘Ted Levine Buffalo Bill Award,’ was proposed for performances so distinct they damage an actor’s career, with retroactive winners including Billy Zapkin (Karate Kid) and Patrick Bergen (Sleeping with the Enemy).
  • Summary: This award recognizes actors whose performance becomes so iconic or typecasting that they cannot escape the character, essentially being typecast for life. Patrick Bergen in Sleeping with the Enemy was cited as a perfect example where the performance was so intensely evil it seemed real. Wayne Greve was also mentioned as an ultimate example of this phenomenon.
Best Line Reading Award
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(01:16:46)
  • Key Takeaway: The ‘That’s Good. You Should Be Proud of That Right There Award’ was proposed for the best line reading, exemplified by Jesse Eisenberg’s robotic delivery in The Social Network conveying jealousy and resentment.
  • Summary: This category honors a specific line reading that carries significant subtext, unlike a general ‘best quote.’ Eisenberg’s line to Eduardo Saverin in The Social Network is considered prophetic regarding their relationship. Past winners mentioned include ‘She’s got a great ass’ and ‘My offer is this: nothing.’
Cultural Lexicon Movie Moments
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(01:18:25)
  • Key Takeaway: A movie moment becoming a universal cultural reference, like ‘Houston, we have a problem’ from Apollo 13, should be recognized in a dedicated award category, though this often takes 10-15 years to fully embed.
  • Summary: The ‘Wilson I’m Sorry Award’ recognizes films whose moments break into the popular cultural lexicon, moving beyond simple quotes. The hosts noted that modern references often manifest as visual memes (like a screenshot of Cillian Murphy) rather than spoken lines. They agreed that it takes significant time for a movie moment to achieve true, widespread cultural saturation.
CR Month Movie Preferences
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(01:32:06)
  • Key Takeaway: Chris Ryan (CR) expressed a strong aversion to actively seeking out animated films, stating that if the Rewatchables slate turned to animation or Harry Potter movies, he would effectively take a three-month break.
  • Summary: CR admitted his dislike for animated movies, though he conceded that Toy Story 3 and the recent Lion King remake were good, noting that many animated films start with significant tragedy (like the mother dying in Finding Nemo). He specifically mentioned WALL-E as a film that foresees the future regarding AI and people being stuck to screens.