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[00:00:01.440 --> 00:00:05.440] Ever whispered, maybe I could create an online course someday?
[00:00:05.440 --> 00:00:10.240] And then you thought, nope, too overwhelming, too risky, and way too much tech.
[00:00:10.240 --> 00:00:11.840] That's you, I get it.
[00:00:11.840 --> 00:00:18.160] When I started, I had no clue where to begin, no extra hours, and no idea if anyone would buy.
[00:00:18.160 --> 00:00:20.400] Then I met Amy Porterfield.
[00:00:20.400 --> 00:00:27.120] She gave me a clear, doable path, and that someday dream became a profitable, sustainable part of my business.
[00:00:27.120 --> 00:00:31.600] Now I've built multiple online courses that earn while I live my life.
[00:00:31.600 --> 00:00:37.680] That's why I'm so excited to tell you about Course Confident, a live boot camp with Amy herself.
[00:00:37.680 --> 00:00:40.560] Four live trainings with one clear outcome.
[00:00:40.560 --> 00:00:49.360] Nail your profitable course topic, choose your type and price with confidence, and learn how to attract your future students without being glued to your screen.
[00:00:49.360 --> 00:00:52.240] You'll be in a private-driven community that gets it.
[00:00:52.240 --> 00:01:02.000] The doubts, the wins, the why is this so hard moments, the accountability, ideas, and encouragement you need to move from thinking about it to doing it.
[00:01:02.000 --> 00:01:05.360] Join through jennakutcher.com forward slash bootcamp.
[00:01:05.360 --> 00:01:15.120] And when you join, you'll also get my beginner-friendly mini course, The Pinterest Kickstart, which is your quick start guide to growing your audience and email list before you even launch.
[00:01:15.120 --> 00:01:17.920] $27 of value, yours free.
[00:01:17.920 --> 00:01:24.960] If you want more freedom, more alignment, and income you don't have to chase daily, this is your next right step.
[00:01:24.960 --> 00:01:26.720] We start September 11th.
[00:01:26.720 --> 00:01:31.600] Save your spot today at jennakutcher.com forward slash bootcamp.
[00:01:35.440 --> 00:01:38.960] Huge savings on Dell AI PCs are here.
[00:01:38.960 --> 00:01:40.400] And it's a big deal.
[00:01:40.400 --> 00:01:41.120] Why?
[00:01:41.120 --> 00:01:48.080] Because Dell AI PCs with Intel Core ultra-processors are newly designed to help you do more faster.
[00:01:48.080 --> 00:01:50.880] It's pretty amazing what they can do in a day's work.
[00:01:50.880 --> 00:01:58.720] They can generate code, edit images, multitask without leg, draft emails, summarize documents, create live translations.
[00:01:58.720 --> 00:02:03.480] They can even extend your battery life so you never have to worry about forgetting your charger.
[00:02:03.480 --> 00:02:11.560] It's like having a personal assistant built right into your PC to cover the menial tasks so that you can focus on what matters.
[00:02:11.560 --> 00:02:15.000] That's the power of Dell AI with Intel Inside.
[00:02:15.000 --> 00:02:25.560] With deals on Dell AI PCs like the Dell 16 Plus starting at $749.99, it is the perfect time to refresh your tech and take back your time.
[00:02:25.560 --> 00:02:30.600] Upgrade your AI PC today by visiting dell.com/slash deals.
[00:02:30.600 --> 00:02:33.640] That's dell.com/slash deals.
[00:02:38.440 --> 00:02:46.760] If you've ever wondered whether the way you think is what's holding you back, this episode might just flip a switch you didn't know needed flipping.
[00:02:47.080 --> 00:02:50.600] I'm Jenna Kutcher, your host of the Goldigger podcast.
[00:02:50.600 --> 00:02:57.480] I escaped the corporate world at the age of 23 with nothing more than a $300 camera from Craigslist and a dream.
[00:02:57.480 --> 00:03:05.640] Now I'm running a seven-figure online business that feels even better than it looks all from my house in small town, Minnesota with my family.
[00:03:05.640 --> 00:03:08.520] Here, we value time as our currency.
[00:03:08.520 --> 00:03:15.880] We mix the woo and the work, and we are in the pursuit of building businesses that give us the freedom to live lives that we love.
[00:03:15.880 --> 00:03:21.160] I've always loved turning big goals into reality, and I'm here to help you do the same.
[00:03:21.160 --> 00:03:23.400] This isn't just a peek behind the curtain.
[00:03:23.400 --> 00:03:27.080] Come along with me and my guests as we tear the whole curtain down.
[00:03:27.080 --> 00:03:34.520] Every week, we tackle practical, no-fluff marketing strategies and host honest discussions on what works and what doesn't.
[00:03:34.520 --> 00:03:40.520] Join me and my expert guests for actionable insights to help you grow your dream business with confidence.
[00:03:40.520 --> 00:03:44.960] Pull up a seat and get ready to be challenged, inspired, and empowered.
[00:03:44.440 --> 00:03:47.440] This is the Gold Digger podcast.
[00:03:48.960 --> 00:03:54.320] We talk a lot about what to do to grow, what to post, what to sell, what strategy to follow.
[00:03:54.320 --> 00:03:58.400] But the truth is, none of that matters if your mindset isn't in the right place.
[00:03:58.400 --> 00:04:01.840] The biggest transformations, they don't usually start with a checklist.
[00:04:01.840 --> 00:04:09.040] They start with a belief, a shift, a single moment where you realize, oh, maybe it doesn't have to be this way.
[00:04:09.040 --> 00:04:12.000] This episode is filled with those moments.
[00:04:12.000 --> 00:04:20.080] I've pulled together five of the most powerful mindset shifts ever shared on the Gold Digger podcast, straight from some of our most impactful guests.
[00:04:20.080 --> 00:04:26.640] These are the beliefs and inner scripts that changed everything for them, and they might just change everything for you too.
[00:04:26.640 --> 00:04:36.400] If you're starting something new, stuck in self-doubt, or just need a reminder that your brain can be your biggest asset and not your biggest roadblock, this is for you.
[00:04:36.400 --> 00:04:42.560] We're kicking things off with someone who's become not just a guest on this show, but one of my closest friends, Miss Mel Robbins.
[00:04:42.560 --> 00:04:45.280] Her let them theory has gone viral for a reason.
[00:04:45.280 --> 00:04:55.600] In a world obsessed with opinions, control, and people pleasing, Mel shares her theory on how to protect your energy, reclaim your power, and move forward with confidence.
[00:04:55.600 --> 00:05:00.080] If the fear of what others think has been holding you back, this one's going to hit deep.
[00:05:00.080 --> 00:05:01.440] Let's dive in.
[00:05:02.080 --> 00:05:17.440] I think the single thing standing in your way as you're listening is this concern and fear, and more importantly, the power you're giving to other people's thoughts, which is something you'll never be able to control.
[00:05:17.440 --> 00:05:19.280] And frankly, it's sad.
[00:05:19.280 --> 00:05:35.800] It is sad that you allow something that you can't control to block you from doing what you want to do in your life and expressing yourself and launching the business and starting the podcast and all these ways you wanna grow and put yourself out there.
[00:05:35.800 --> 00:05:44.360] If the only thing that's holding you back is the fear of what somebody might think, the good news is we're gonna teach you today how to actually remove that fear.
[00:05:44.360 --> 00:05:53.400] And so this is where the let them theory is going to set you free because you're going to let people think negative thoughts.
[00:05:54.040 --> 00:06:08.680] And the reason why this is revolutionary is because when you let people think negative thoughts, you're actually allowing something that you're afraid of, because that's what you're afraid of.
[00:06:08.840 --> 00:06:12.600] You're not afraid that people are going to think positive things about you.
[00:06:12.920 --> 00:06:15.480] You're afraid they're going to think negative things.
[00:06:15.480 --> 00:06:22.840] And so what if you just lived your life giving people permission to think negative thoughts?
[00:06:22.840 --> 00:06:23.960] Just let them.
[00:06:23.960 --> 00:06:31.720] And the reason why you're going to find this to be revolutionary is because when you say, let them think negative thoughts, let them unfollow me.
[00:06:31.720 --> 00:06:33.080] Let them gossip.
[00:06:33.080 --> 00:06:36.360] Let them not understand what I'm doing and why.
[00:06:36.360 --> 00:06:38.440] Let them be upset by my decisions.
[00:06:38.440 --> 00:06:47.480] When you let people think negative thoughts about you, you now release control of something you could never control.
[00:06:47.480 --> 00:06:53.640] You also acknowledge this thing you've been deeply afraid of, but you rise above it because you kind of feel a little bit superior.
[00:06:53.640 --> 00:07:05.800] Like if you're struggling with posting on social media or following, you know, Jenna's extraordinary advice on monetizing Pinterest, which by the way, Jenna has taught me everything that I know.
[00:07:05.800 --> 00:07:07.560] She is behind my strategy.
[00:07:07.560 --> 00:07:09.880] She is a genius, and you should be doing it.
[00:07:09.880 --> 00:07:19.680] But the only thing that will keep you from actually following Jenna's formulas and her teaching is your fear that people are going to think something negative.
[00:07:14.760 --> 00:07:21.200] So just let them think something negative.
[00:07:21.360 --> 00:07:26.480] And what happens is you start to go, oh, well, let them think something negative because I know what I'm doing.
[00:07:26.480 --> 00:07:33.040] And then you come back to the let me part and you say, let me remind myself, my social media, it's actually for me.
[00:07:33.040 --> 00:07:38.560] My social media is for my business, my self-expression, my income, my artistry.
[00:07:38.560 --> 00:07:41.600] It's not for my friends from college.
[00:07:41.920 --> 00:07:44.000] It's not for my family.
[00:07:44.000 --> 00:07:50.080] Let them think negative thoughts and let me remind myself that I get to choose what I think about myself.
[00:07:50.080 --> 00:08:00.720] And if I'm operating in a way where I'm doing the things that I would like to be doing in my life and I'm aligned with my values, then I'm proud of myself.
[00:08:00.720 --> 00:08:16.240] And what I've found is that when you're really proud of yourself and when you give yourself the grace and the space to act in accordance with your dreams and your values, something really interesting happens.
[00:08:16.240 --> 00:08:24.960] You don't really think much about other people at all because you've removed the fear, because you've actually said, just let them think negative thoughts.
[00:08:24.960 --> 00:08:25.840] I know who I am.
[00:08:25.840 --> 00:08:27.600] I know why I'm doing things.
[00:08:27.760 --> 00:08:34.160] I know people won't understand, but I know that I'm operating based on goals and values and character.
[00:08:34.160 --> 00:08:36.320] And when I do that, I'm proud of myself.
[00:08:36.320 --> 00:08:42.240] And if somebody's upset, then I'm going to trust that they're going to come to me and then I can have a conversation then.
[00:08:42.240 --> 00:08:46.640] But I don't need to worry about this because it's out of my control.
[00:08:46.640 --> 00:08:56.760] You know, I want to share something else because you said earlier, Jenna, something that was so astute, which is women in particular are exhausted.
[00:08:56.760 --> 00:09:03.240] That we collapse into bed, we wake up exhausted, our thoughts are racing.
[00:09:03.560 --> 00:09:09.880] We feel that, you know, if one ball drops, everything's going to implode, that it's all up to us.
[00:09:09.880 --> 00:09:14.360] We never have time to advance our goals, to put ourselves first.
[00:09:14.680 --> 00:09:18.120] And here's how the let them theory is going to change your life.
[00:09:18.120 --> 00:09:20.280] This is how it's changed my life.
[00:09:20.600 --> 00:09:24.840] Life is like a death by a thousand cuts.
[00:09:24.840 --> 00:09:45.560] And you don't realize this now, but when you start saying let them, you're going to realize that all day long, you're allowing other people's behavior and you're allowing things that are beyond your control to drain your life force energy.
[00:09:45.560 --> 00:09:53.880] You know, there's this huge movement around micro-dosing as a way to kind of lift your spirits and your energy and your focus up.
[00:09:54.200 --> 00:10:03.640] I want you to understand that the reason why you're so tired is you're experiencing micro-draining of your energy and your time.
[00:10:03.640 --> 00:10:05.320] And I'll give you an example.
[00:10:05.320 --> 00:10:11.400] So the day after I discovered the let them theory, I was standing in a line.
[00:10:11.400 --> 00:10:13.400] And have you ever been at like a garden center?
[00:10:13.400 --> 00:10:15.800] I know you are a major gardener just like me.
[00:10:15.880 --> 00:10:19.080] And you got my big old cart and all my soil.
[00:10:19.080 --> 00:10:20.040] Yeah, exactly.
[00:10:20.040 --> 00:10:23.960] And there's like five people in front of you, and there's only one cashier.
[00:10:23.960 --> 00:10:24.360] Yep.
[00:10:24.360 --> 00:10:29.160] And it's like beep, beep, beep.
[00:10:29.480 --> 00:10:31.320] Pause for small talk.
[00:10:31.640 --> 00:10:32.760] Beep.
[00:10:32.760 --> 00:10:33.320] Yep.
[00:10:33.320 --> 00:10:34.120] Beep.
[00:10:34.120 --> 00:10:36.600] Oh, this doesn't have a price.
[00:10:36.600 --> 00:10:38.440] How do you feel in that moment?
[00:10:39.160 --> 00:10:41.400] Stressed, anxious, frustrated?
[00:10:41.400 --> 00:10:42.280] All the things.
[00:10:42.600 --> 00:10:43.720] All the things.
[00:10:43.720 --> 00:10:45.200] And then you start rocking.
[00:10:44.840 --> 00:10:49.040] And then you probably, if you're like me, you turn to the person next to you and you roll your eyes.
[00:10:49.360 --> 00:10:54.720] And then you're looking around and you're angry at the person who's restocking plants because they're not coming up.
[00:10:54.720 --> 00:11:01.120] And next thing you know, you think that you can run the garden center better than anybody else and you're all agitated.
[00:11:01.120 --> 00:11:04.720] And here's this is an example of why you're so tired.
[00:11:04.720 --> 00:11:09.840] Because you just allowed something that is out of your control to do two things.
[00:11:09.840 --> 00:11:14.480] Number one, you allowed it to stress you out.
[00:11:14.800 --> 00:11:21.680] What you are describing is what happens when your body goes into a medical state called a stress response.
[00:11:21.680 --> 00:11:23.520] You go into fight or flight.
[00:11:23.520 --> 00:11:40.480] And the problem for most of us is if we jack ourselves up like that around a grocery line or traffic or something that our mother-in-law said or some comment on a post, we tend to stay in fight or flight, which impacts focus, which impacts your energy, which impacts your mood.
[00:11:40.480 --> 00:11:44.560] And it was because of something stupid.
[00:11:44.880 --> 00:12:05.440] And the second reason why this is really kind of this micro moment that has a major impact on you is that because you're so focused on what's happening out there, the beep, beep, beep, and what's not happening, you actually miss how much control you have.
[00:12:05.440 --> 00:12:19.120] So in that situation, what you're going to do anytime you're frustrated, anytime you're annoyed, anytime somebody hurts you or worries you or bothers you or you have an opinion, or you feel that agitation, just say, Let them.
[00:12:19.440 --> 00:12:24.080] And what immediately happens, Jenna, is you're going to feel this release.
[00:12:24.080 --> 00:12:25.520] You're going to feel your shoulders drop.
[00:12:25.520 --> 00:12:26.880] You're going to feel a little bit of peace.
[00:12:26.880 --> 00:12:29.680] You're going to feel the stress leave your body.
[00:12:30.040 --> 00:12:38.360] And you're acknowledging when you say, Let them, this is not in my control, therefore it is not worth my time and energy.
[00:12:38.360 --> 00:12:48.360] And then when you say, let me, you bring all of the time and energy and the power back to you and your response to it.
[00:12:48.360 --> 00:12:52.040] Because what you can control, I can control what I choose to think about this.
[00:12:52.360 --> 00:12:55.720] I can control what I'm going to do or don't do in response.
[00:12:55.720 --> 00:12:59.480] And in that instance, I could close my eyes and meditate.
[00:12:59.480 --> 00:13:05.720] I could call my mom because I am trying to make more of an effort to reach out.
[00:13:05.720 --> 00:13:07.400] And I could use the time like that.
[00:13:07.400 --> 00:13:08.680] And you know what else I could do?
[00:13:08.680 --> 00:13:10.280] I could actually leave.
[00:13:10.600 --> 00:13:17.240] I could take my little cart full of the soil and the plants and I could put it over on the side and I could walk out.
[00:13:17.240 --> 00:13:21.320] And I certainly have control over what I do with these feelings.
[00:13:21.320 --> 00:13:23.720] Do I let them run me over and ruin my day?
[00:13:23.720 --> 00:13:27.000] Or do I just let them rise and fall?
[00:13:27.000 --> 00:13:32.200] And when you recognize that in any situation, you have power.
[00:13:32.200 --> 00:13:43.720] You can leave any line, you can leave any interview, you can leave any conversation, any date, any text chain, any dining room table, any business partnership, anytime you choose to.
[00:13:43.720 --> 00:13:59.720] But if you allow the world around you and people's moods and things beyond your control and things that are beneath you to actually bother you, this is the reason why you're so tired.
[00:13:59.720 --> 00:14:03.480] It's because you unknowingly give power away all day long.
[00:14:03.480 --> 00:14:12.200] And I can't wait for you to start using this because what I discovered almost immediately is: holy cow, I have so much more time than I thought.
[00:14:12.200 --> 00:14:26.720] Holy cow, I'm actually not that tired at eight o'clock at night because I haven't allowed the world around me or some dumb text or some immature thing that a friend did to actually drain me.
[00:14:27.040 --> 00:14:41.760] Before we jump into this next clip, which by the way is one of the most honest conversations about peace I've literally ever had, I want to take a second to thank our sponsors for supporting this episode and making it possible to bring conversations like these straight to your earbuds.
[00:14:43.040 --> 00:14:45.440] This message is sponsored by Greenlight.
[00:14:45.440 --> 00:14:49.360] My six-year-old woke up this morning asking if she could do chores to earn money.
[00:14:49.360 --> 00:14:50.080] Why?
[00:14:50.080 --> 00:14:54.320] Because she read a fancy Nancy book where Nancy worked to buy fabulous shoes.
[00:14:54.320 --> 00:14:59.760] And suddenly, my daughter wanted to experience the same pride of buying something special with her own money.
[00:14:59.760 --> 00:15:05.760] But here's what hit me: I had no good way to help her actually see and feel her money growing.
[00:15:05.760 --> 00:15:07.200] Cash gets lost.
[00:15:07.200 --> 00:15:13.200] Piggy banks are abstract, and she can't really understand the connection between effort and reward.
[00:15:13.200 --> 00:15:15.280] That's why we started using Greenlight.
[00:15:15.280 --> 00:15:22.000] Greenlight is the easy, convenient way for parents to raise financially smart kids and for families to navigate life together.
[00:15:22.000 --> 00:15:29.680] And maybe that's why millions of parents trust and kids love learning about money on Greenlight, the number one family finance and safety app.
[00:15:29.680 --> 00:15:33.760] Now, when she does chores, I can instantly send her earnings to her card.
[00:15:33.760 --> 00:15:38.640] She watches her balance grow in real time and feels genuine ownership over her money.
[00:15:38.640 --> 00:15:44.880] And when she's ready for those fabulous shoes, she'll swipe her own card and experience that incredible feeling Nancy had.
[00:15:44.880 --> 00:15:47.600] Don't wait to teach your kids real-world money skills.
[00:15:47.600 --> 00:15:52.000] Start your risk-free Green Light trial today at greenlight.com/slash gold digger.
[00:15:52.000 --> 00:15:55.200] That's greenlight.com/slash gold digger to get started.
[00:15:55.200 --> 00:15:58.400] Greenlight.com slash gold digger.
[00:15:59.360 --> 00:16:05.480] This podcast is brought to you by Mercury, banking that helps entrepreneurs do more with their money.
[00:16:05.800 --> 00:16:10.600] When I first started taking my business seriously, I remember feeling stretched thin.
[00:16:10.600 --> 00:16:15.800] I was juggling invoices, tracking payments, and managing cash flow across different tools.
[00:16:15.800 --> 00:16:19.160] It was messy, and I thought banking had to be that way.
[00:16:19.160 --> 00:16:21.640] That's why I was impressed with Mercury.
[00:16:21.640 --> 00:16:31.320] Unlike traditional banking that feels clunky and outdated, Mercury is designed to make managing money effortless so that you can focus on what actually grows your business.
[00:16:31.320 --> 00:16:34.040] Everything you need is in one intuitive product.
[00:16:34.040 --> 00:16:39.720] Banking, cards, spend management, invoicing, and more, all in one place.
[00:16:39.720 --> 00:16:43.080] Plus, Mercury flexes to fit all types of businesses.
[00:16:43.080 --> 00:16:48.520] So whether you're a funded startup, agency, or e-commerce brand, it can be tailored to you.
[00:16:48.520 --> 00:16:53.560] Visit mercury.com to join over 200,000 entrepreneurs who use Mercury.
[00:16:53.560 --> 00:16:56.920] Mercury is a financial technology company, not a bank.
[00:16:56.920 --> 00:17:00.360] For important details, check the show notes.
[00:17:00.680 --> 00:17:01.720] Welcome back.
[00:17:01.720 --> 00:17:06.360] Now let's hear from Trent Shelton, former NFL player turned transformational speaker.
[00:17:06.360 --> 00:17:12.440] Trent's story of burnout, identity crisis, and finding peace is one so many of us can relate to.
[00:17:12.440 --> 00:17:17.480] In this conversation, he shares how to protect your peace when you receive negative feedback.
[00:17:17.480 --> 00:17:19.240] I absolutely love this conversation.
[00:17:19.240 --> 00:17:24.840] What he shares here is one of the most game-changing mindset shifts you can make as a business owner.
[00:17:25.160 --> 00:17:29.000] What's helped serve me is understanding a few things.
[00:17:29.000 --> 00:17:33.720] Number one, and I know this seems super motivational and inspirational, but it's true.
[00:17:33.720 --> 00:17:37.800] Like, if you're doing nothing, you're not going to receive nothing.
[00:17:37.800 --> 00:17:44.200] So, if you have attention on you, people have critiques, people have criticisms, then congratulations.
[00:17:44.200 --> 00:17:47.440] That means that you're doing something worth criticizing.
[00:17:47.760 --> 00:17:55.280] And for me, I would rather have that any day than not have, you know, a life that's not making no impact.
[00:17:55.280 --> 00:18:00.240] So, as the great quote says, if you don't want any criticism, say nothing, do nothing, be nothing.
[00:18:00.240 --> 00:18:06.160] So, I want to just start off with that perspective, but I want to give you this perspective also: like, where is it coming from?
[00:18:06.160 --> 00:18:12.720] Yeah, you know, consider the source because a lot of times it's people who, as I always say, won't even be at your funeral.
[00:18:12.720 --> 00:18:15.440] Yeah, ain't said one prayer for you, won't help you.
[00:18:15.440 --> 00:18:22.960] And these are the people that you're allowing to control your greatness, to control the voice that's meant for you to give to the world.
[00:18:22.960 --> 00:18:24.800] Because I always think about the bigger picture.
[00:18:24.800 --> 00:18:30.320] You know, when the meaning becomes big enough, the hate, the criticism will never become strong enough.
[00:18:30.320 --> 00:18:41.680] You know, if a listener right now, you have a kid, and I always talk about fear with this, but you have a kid, and your kid is, you know, in dire help and need, and there's like a freaking tiger out there that you're afraid of.
[00:18:41.680 --> 00:18:44.560] You don't care about the tiger because you want to save your kid.
[00:18:44.560 --> 00:18:47.360] And it's the same with your business and your goals and your mission.
[00:18:47.360 --> 00:18:51.520] Like when it becomes big, so mine was a promise to my friend that committed suicide.
[00:18:51.520 --> 00:18:56.640] So any hate, any criticism, yeah, I heard it, but I didn't allow it to define me.
[00:18:56.640 --> 00:18:58.160] Peace is this, Jenna.
[00:18:58.160 --> 00:18:59.600] And I want to explain this definition.
[00:18:59.600 --> 00:19:01.040] I think it'll help them a little bit.
[00:19:01.040 --> 00:19:01.680] Yeah.
[00:19:02.000 --> 00:19:08.880] Peace is, I always say peace is something you can't experience if you allow the things that you can't control to control you, right?
[00:19:08.880 --> 00:19:12.320] Peace doesn't mean that the storm doesn't exist.
[00:19:12.320 --> 00:19:13.600] It means that the storm will pass.
[00:19:13.600 --> 00:19:15.920] It doesn't mean that you don't have chaos around your life.
[00:19:15.920 --> 00:19:19.360] It means that the chaos doesn't kill the calm inside you.
[00:19:19.360 --> 00:19:27.520] And so I would tell the person listening to this is like, develop a deeper meaning on what you're doing.
[00:19:27.520 --> 00:19:29.200] Can you control what they say?
[00:19:29.200 --> 00:19:30.360] No, you can't.
[00:19:29.760 --> 00:19:36.600] And oftentimes, yes, I know it's hard when it's the people closest to you that give you the most criticism and feedback.
[00:19:36.760 --> 00:19:41.800] But what people are doing, and I've learned this, is they're projecting their insecurities and fears on you.
[00:19:41.800 --> 00:19:46.200] So it's less about you and it's more about what they're not doing with their life.
[00:19:46.200 --> 00:19:50.680] And so that's helped me protect my peace and be like, oh, they don't understand.
[00:19:50.680 --> 00:19:51.960] They've never been successful.
[00:19:51.960 --> 00:19:54.520] They have never tried to achieve what I'm trying to do.
[00:19:54.520 --> 00:19:56.760] They have never tried to be what I'm trying to become.
[00:19:56.760 --> 00:20:01.320] So why would I allow them to stop what's really meant for my life?
[00:20:01.320 --> 00:20:08.040] And once you build that muscle memory, you start to realize that, oh, it's just opinions.
[00:20:08.040 --> 00:20:10.440] We give way too much power to opinions.
[00:20:10.440 --> 00:20:12.200] Opinions cannot stop you.
[00:20:12.200 --> 00:20:13.880] There can be, happens every day to me.
[00:20:13.880 --> 00:20:15.960] Trent, you shouldn't talk like this.
[00:20:15.960 --> 00:20:16.840] You are terrible.
[00:20:16.840 --> 00:20:17.960] You, this, and this.
[00:20:17.960 --> 00:20:20.440] And I realized, like, it's an opinion.
[00:20:20.440 --> 00:20:23.080] Let people have their opinions and you keep living your truth.
[00:20:23.080 --> 00:20:28.200] And you'll realize that the people that are there for you to serve will support you.
[00:20:28.520 --> 00:20:29.800] And that's all you need in this journey.
[00:20:29.800 --> 00:20:37.880] But I would tell the listeners this: one thing that's helped me, and I've said this, and it's a little, it's not controversy, but people kind of look at me sideways at first.
[00:20:38.200 --> 00:20:44.760] But I've told people in my life, and I stand by this, is that I'm not loyal to people anymore.
[00:20:44.760 --> 00:20:46.520] I'm loyal to my principles.
[00:20:46.840 --> 00:20:55.880] And what I mean by that, and I don't want people to take this out of context, but what I mean is that sometimes we're so loyal to people or so loyal to things.
[00:20:55.880 --> 00:20:57.960] We're loyal to our heartbreak.
[00:20:57.960 --> 00:20:59.960] We're loyal to our low energy.
[00:20:59.960 --> 00:21:05.000] We're loyal to the things that are destroying our life because we want to be so loyal all the time.
[00:21:05.000 --> 00:21:06.600] You can be loyal to the wrong things.
[00:21:06.600 --> 00:21:09.800] And so, there's some things in my life I had to take my loyalty back.
[00:21:09.800 --> 00:21:14.800] And when I say principles, because I know my principles are set up for me to protect my peace.
[00:21:14.800 --> 00:21:16.480] So, I say, what's guiding your life?
[00:21:16.480 --> 00:21:17.600] Is it your loyalty?
[00:21:14.520 --> 00:21:19.200] Which is a great trait to have.
[00:21:19.360 --> 00:21:23.280] Like, loyal people are amazing, but is your loyalty in the wrong place?
[00:21:23.280 --> 00:21:27.280] You know, people will always say, I'm so afraid to let people down.
[00:21:27.360 --> 00:21:28.320] I said, I get it.
[00:21:28.320 --> 00:21:30.640] I am too, but I'm more afraid to let myself down.
[00:21:30.640 --> 00:21:30.960] Yeah.
[00:21:30.960 --> 00:21:35.840] Because if I let me down, then everything that surrounds me gets let down by default.
[00:21:35.840 --> 00:21:40.720] So, I would challenge you listening to this: like, what are your principles?
[00:21:40.720 --> 00:21:47.280] What are the principles that you need to set that says, this is my guiding compass on how I operate my life?
[00:21:47.280 --> 00:21:50.160] So, when my feelings, I always talk about facts over feelings.
[00:21:50.160 --> 00:21:59.920] When my feelings say, I want to do it, or I want to say yes, but I look at the facts and say, the facts say, man, if I say yes, in this 90 days of no, I already know where it's going to lead.
[00:22:00.240 --> 00:22:02.880] So, I'm going to say no, even when I want to say yes.
[00:22:02.880 --> 00:22:04.400] And so, write down those principles.
[00:22:04.400 --> 00:22:09.520] One of my principles is simply, you know, leave things better than how I found it.
[00:22:09.520 --> 00:22:13.840] I mean, that's a suit, that's an easy principle, but that even starts with myself.
[00:22:13.840 --> 00:22:15.040] It starts with my day.
[00:22:15.040 --> 00:22:28.240] And so, what are your principles that you can go by that will guide your life and say, man, if I'm loyal to my principles, then I know that I'm leading my life and I'm putting my life in the best place for me to have the right energy, for me to be efficient.
[00:22:28.320 --> 00:22:31.200] And the first part of the book is called Protect Your Energy.
[00:22:31.200 --> 00:22:33.360] And people think we have an infinite amount of energy.
[00:22:33.360 --> 00:22:37.680] No, like some of us, we guard our cell phones more than we guard our soul.
[00:22:38.080 --> 00:22:41.200] Like, if our cell phone battery is going down to 10%, where's the charger?
[00:22:41.200 --> 00:22:41.920] Where's the charger?
[00:22:42.320 --> 00:22:44.880] But when our life goes down to 10%, oh, I need to do more.
[00:22:44.880 --> 00:22:45.920] I need to do more.
[00:22:45.880 --> 00:22:48.160] Like, like we need a DMD on our soul in our life.
[00:22:48.160 --> 00:22:51.280] And you did that for 90 days, and I'm sure it felt great.
[00:22:51.280 --> 00:22:57.840] And so, I would challenge people to really understand their principles and let that be the guiding force on how they live their life.
[00:22:58.160 --> 00:23:00.520] Next, we'll hear from my friend Jamie Kernlima.
[00:23:00.680 --> 00:23:10.840] You might know her as the founder of It Cosmetics or a guest on Shark Tank, but what you may not know is how deeply her success was shaped by her relationship with her own self-worth.
[00:23:10.840 --> 00:23:21.880] In this segment, Jamie breaks down the difference between self-confidence and self-worth and how the internal ceiling we place on ourselves can be even more limiting than any external obstacle.
[00:23:21.880 --> 00:23:28.120] If you've ever believed that achieving more would finally make you feel like enough, this one's for you.
[00:23:28.440 --> 00:23:32.760] Self-confidence and self-worth, they're both super important in our lives.
[00:23:32.760 --> 00:23:34.760] They are very different.
[00:23:34.760 --> 00:23:36.520] They are very different.
[00:23:36.520 --> 00:23:45.480] And we learn this lie, most of us, our entire life from TV commercials, from how we're raised, from the questions people ask us.
[00:23:45.480 --> 00:23:52.520] We learn that if we build enough of the things that bring self-confidence, then we'll finally feel enough.
[00:23:53.080 --> 00:24:01.240] And what we don't know is when we build all these things that build self-confidence, while they're very important and valuable, none of them build self-worth.
[00:24:01.240 --> 00:24:12.840] And so, for everyone listening, especially, and I know so many people listening to you will have this in common with you and me, that they are probably achievers and ambitious and all of those things.
[00:24:12.840 --> 00:24:25.560] And for anyone who has ever had this goal and this dream and this ambition and thought, oh my gosh, when I finally get that thing, then I'm going to be happy.
[00:24:25.560 --> 00:24:26.840] Then I'm going to be fulfilled.
[00:24:26.840 --> 00:24:28.280] Then I'm going to be crushing it.
[00:24:28.280 --> 00:24:30.680] Then I'm going to finally feel enough.
[00:24:31.000 --> 00:24:37.400] And then, like, we work so hard, a lot of us for years to get that thing, and we get it.
[00:24:37.400 --> 00:24:42.360] And then, for most of us, we're like, wait a minute, that did not solve all my problems.
[00:24:42.360 --> 00:24:44.440] I am not happy and fulfilled.
[00:24:44.560 --> 00:24:47.760] Why do I still feel like something's missing?
[00:24:44.440 --> 00:24:49.520] Why do I still feel like I'm not enough?
[00:24:49.840 --> 00:24:54.560] And so, then, for most of us, our answer is, oh, I've just got to achieve more.
[00:24:54.560 --> 00:24:58.880] So, then we go harder, we hustle harder, we do the next thing, and the next thing, and the next thing.
[00:24:58.880 --> 00:25:03.040] And it becomes this never-ending perpetual cycle to nowhere.
[00:25:03.040 --> 00:25:06.480] Where, and a lot of people spend their whole life doing this.
[00:25:06.480 --> 00:25:08.640] You and I have a lot of friends that do this.
[00:25:08.640 --> 00:25:18.320] You build all this self-confidence along the way, but you never have fulfillment because you never feel like you're enough deep down inside.
[00:25:18.320 --> 00:25:27.920] This changed my life because I believed the lie that if I achieve enough, I will finally feel enough.
[00:25:28.560 --> 00:25:33.520] And when you look at the data right now, that 80% of women do not believe they're enough.
[00:25:33.520 --> 00:25:36.960] 75% of female executives deal with imposter syndrome.
[00:25:36.960 --> 00:25:40.960] 73% of men feel inadequate and not enough.
[00:25:40.960 --> 00:25:47.120] Like, I believe this lie: oh, I got to achieve enough, and I've got to please enough people, right?
[00:25:47.120 --> 00:25:49.440] And then I'll feel enough.
[00:25:49.440 --> 00:26:07.040] And after spending decades doing that and still arriving at the next goal, and the next goal, and the next thing the world told me should make me feel like I'm on top of the world, and still arriving feeling empty and not fulfilled, and not enough, not knowing why.
[00:26:07.360 --> 00:26:11.200] And it's because most of my entire life I did the things that only build self-confidence.
[00:26:11.200 --> 00:26:12.720] None of them build self-worth.
[00:26:12.720 --> 00:26:19.600] So, self-confidence for everyone listening, because I thought they were the same thing for the longest time.
[00:26:19.600 --> 00:26:21.040] And again, let me just take a step back.
[00:26:21.040 --> 00:26:23.120] They're both so valuable in our lives.
[00:26:23.120 --> 00:26:24.320] They're both so valuable.
[00:26:24.320 --> 00:26:25.600] They're just very different.
[00:26:25.600 --> 00:26:31.800] Self-confidence, while it is an internal trait, is based largely on the external.
[00:26:29.760 --> 00:26:35.240] Your self-confidence is fragile, it fluctuates.
[00:26:35.560 --> 00:26:46.200] Your self-confidence is how you assess your own skills and abilities, your willingness to try and go for it, how you feel you stack up and compare to others.
[00:26:46.200 --> 00:26:53.800] If you're winning or losing at any moment, like how much of the world's definition of success that you believe that you have.
[00:26:53.800 --> 00:26:58.520] They do studies that show the boxer who wins the match is automatically 30% more confident.
[00:26:58.520 --> 00:27:03.560] Our confidence is volatile and it's fragile and it fluctuates.
[00:27:03.560 --> 00:27:06.920] And it is largely based on what's happening all around you.
[00:27:06.920 --> 00:27:25.400] You know, and when we see these ads or whatever our whole life that says, oh, once you get the dream car, once you get whatever that version is, the house, the dream house, and the certain job title, the certain amount in the bank account, the six-pack abs, whatever it is, when you finally get that thing, you're going to feel enough.
[00:27:25.400 --> 00:27:29.000] And in the pursuit of those things, we build a lot of confidence.
[00:27:29.320 --> 00:27:31.320] But none of them build self-worth.
[00:27:31.320 --> 00:27:41.320] So self-worth is the deep internal knowing that you are worthy of love and belonging exactly as you are.
[00:27:41.320 --> 00:27:49.000] Not as your past or your past mistakes or failures, not as your successes and your achievements, none of that.
[00:27:49.000 --> 00:27:51.560] Like exactly as you are.
[00:27:51.880 --> 00:27:55.480] And your self-worth is rock solid.
[00:27:55.480 --> 00:27:57.160] It becomes your ceiling.
[00:27:57.160 --> 00:27:59.480] Your self-worth becomes your ceiling.
[00:27:59.480 --> 00:28:08.200] And so, and what I want to say quickly is that a lot of people worry, well, if I believe I'm enough as I am, will I lose my ambition?
[00:28:08.200 --> 00:28:09.480] Will I lose my edge?
[00:28:09.480 --> 00:28:28.720] It's like, oh no, actually, actually, the higher your self-worth for me, and you look at all the data, the more ambitious you become because you know, like, oh, even if I go for the thing and fall flat on my face, it might rattle my confidence for a minute, but it cannot touch my self-worth.
[00:28:28.720 --> 00:28:32.880] So you become so much more ambitious, so much more fearless.
[00:28:32.880 --> 00:28:42.640] And the big difference is the higher your self-worth, knowing I am enough as I am, as God made me, like all of that, right?
[00:28:42.640 --> 00:28:50.000] You have this unshakableness to you that isn't fragile based on the external stuff.
[00:28:50.000 --> 00:28:52.240] So in a lot of ways, you become more fearless.
[00:28:52.240 --> 00:29:00.560] And I like to describe it that your self-confidence is like the house you're building with like the rooms and the new art on the wall.
[00:29:00.560 --> 00:29:08.080] And like you continue building this house, but the foundation, your foundation underneath that house is your self-worth.
[00:29:08.080 --> 00:29:14.240] And your house is only as secure as the foundation beneath it.
[00:29:14.240 --> 00:29:16.800] And so both are very important, right?
[00:29:16.800 --> 00:29:22.400] And when we look at how do we get ultimate fulfillment in life, you need self-confidence.
[00:29:22.400 --> 00:29:31.360] You need to be growing in something, which could be growing in faith or growing in a hobby or growing in something you're gardening.
[00:29:31.360 --> 00:29:33.600] It could be anything, but we need to be growing.
[00:29:33.600 --> 00:29:39.360] We need to be building our self-confidence and contributing to something bigger than ourselves.
[00:29:39.360 --> 00:29:45.920] But all of those are multiplied by your level of self-worth to get your level of fulfillment in life.
[00:29:46.480 --> 00:29:48.480] Gosh, Jamie is so good.
[00:29:48.480 --> 00:29:54.320] Okay, in a moment, we'll hear from Vasavi Kumar, which may honestly change the way you speak to yourself forever.
[00:29:54.320 --> 00:29:58.000] But first, we're going to hear about a few brands who help keep this show running.
[00:29:58.000 --> 00:30:04.040] And in the meantime, if someone popped into your mind while listening, hit that share button and send them this episode.
[00:30:04.040 --> 00:30:08.680] These mindset shifts are so much better when we grow through them together.
[00:30:09.960 --> 00:30:18.200] Running a business means wearing every hat, creating content one minute, handling customer service the next, then trying to figure out shipping logistics.
[00:30:18.200 --> 00:30:20.120] It can get overwhelming fast.
[00:30:20.120 --> 00:30:26.280] When you're building your dreams, finding the right tool that not only helps but simplifies everything is a game changer.
[00:30:26.280 --> 00:30:29.960] For millions of businesses, that tool is Shopify.
[00:30:30.600 --> 00:30:39.400] Shopify powers millions of businesses worldwide and 10% of all e-commerce in the U.S., from Gymshark and Mattel to brands just starting out.
[00:30:39.400 --> 00:30:43.800] With hundreds of ready-to-use templates, you can create a store that matches your brand.
[00:30:43.800 --> 00:30:49.480] Shopify's AI tools write product descriptions and even headlines so you can create content faster.
[00:30:49.480 --> 00:30:54.360] Plus, with their built-in email and social tools, it's like having a marketing team in your back pocket.
[00:30:54.360 --> 00:30:59.880] From inventory to shipping to returns, Shopify is the partner every entrepreneur needs.
[00:30:59.880 --> 00:31:02.680] If you're ready to sell, you're ready for Shopify.
[00:31:02.680 --> 00:31:08.040] Turn your business idea into with Shopify on your side.
[00:31:08.040 --> 00:31:14.040] Sign up for your $1 per month trial and start selling today at shopify.com slash gold digger.
[00:31:14.040 --> 00:31:17.000] Go to shopify.com/slash gold digger.
[00:31:17.000 --> 00:31:20.120] Shopify.com/slash gold digger.
[00:31:23.000 --> 00:31:26.680] You know that sinking feeling when you see your latest campaign report?
[00:31:26.680 --> 00:31:30.680] 87% of your budget went to people who would never buy from you?
[00:31:30.680 --> 00:31:36.360] Random scrollers clicking your business course ad, students engaging with your entrepreneur content.
[00:31:36.360 --> 00:31:42.280] You're perfect ad creative about building sustainable income shown to people who aren't even trying to build a business.
[00:31:42.280 --> 00:31:44.440] That's why LinkedIn ads exist.
[00:31:44.560 --> 00:31:49.760] While other platforms guess who might be interested, LinkedIn knows who your buyers are.
[00:31:49.760 --> 00:31:53.680] Target the exact job titles making purchasing decisions.
[00:31:53.680 --> 00:31:56.240] Reach VPs of marketing at growing companies.
[00:31:56.240 --> 00:31:59.040] Find HR directors at mid-sized firms.
[00:31:59.040 --> 00:32:01.920] Target entrepreneurs ready to invest in their growth.
[00:32:01.920 --> 00:32:04.640] Zero waste, maximum impact.
[00:32:04.640 --> 00:32:12.880] Stop hemorrhaging budget on random audiences and start reaching actual decision makers who can write the checks only with LinkedIn ads.
[00:32:12.880 --> 00:32:19.360] Spend $250 on your first campaign on LinkedIn ads and get a free $250 credit for the next one.
[00:32:19.360 --> 00:32:22.160] Just go to linkedin.com/slash goal.
[00:32:22.160 --> 00:32:25.280] That's linkedin.com/slash G-O-A-L.
[00:32:25.280 --> 00:32:27.920] Terms and conditions apply.
[00:32:29.200 --> 00:32:36.560] Last February, when the Minnesota winter felt like it would never end, I looked at my family and I said, that's it, we're going south.
[00:32:36.560 --> 00:32:45.040] So we booked a house on Airbnb with a pool, enough space for each of us to actually get good sleep, and all of the little luxuries we didn't have at home.
[00:32:45.040 --> 00:32:49.680] But what really stuck with me wasn't just the house, it was all these thoughtful touches.
[00:32:49.680 --> 00:32:55.360] Fresh coffee waiting for us, local restaurant recommendations, even pool towels that actually smelled good.
[00:32:55.360 --> 00:32:58.880] Drew and I kept looking at each other like, how did they think of everything?
[00:32:59.280 --> 00:33:01.920] That's when I realized this host was a pro.
[00:33:01.920 --> 00:33:07.440] They had clearly figured out how to make people feel genuinely cared for and not just housed.
[00:33:07.440 --> 00:33:12.800] Now, having been a host myself, I understand how much care it takes to create that kind of experience.
[00:33:12.800 --> 00:33:15.840] The thing is, not every host can always be there in person.
[00:33:15.840 --> 00:33:16.960] Life gets busy.
[00:33:16.960 --> 00:33:21.280] Maybe you're traveling, working remotely, or you've got a second property sitting empty.
[00:33:21.280 --> 00:33:25.840] That is why I love that Airbnb offers tools to help make hosting simpler.
[00:33:25.840 --> 00:33:38.440] With their co-host network, you can partner with experienced local co-hosts who manage the details from guest communication to on-the-ground support so that your space and your guests are cared for even when you can't be there.
[00:33:38.440 --> 00:33:42.600] If hosting has ever felt overwhelming, this makes it easier than ever.
[00:33:42.600 --> 00:33:46.920] Find a co-host now at Airbnb.com/slash host.
[00:33:47.560 --> 00:33:57.000] Now let's hear from Vasevi Kumar, a therapist, speaker, and author who is passionate about helping people speak to themselves with more clarity and compassion.
[00:33:57.000 --> 00:34:05.000] In this clip, Vasevi shares how negative self-talk isn't something we're born with, it's something we learn and something we can unlearn.
[00:34:05.000 --> 00:34:12.760] She also shares a powerful story about how shifting her inner dialogue helped her land the cover of a magazine simply because she asked for it.
[00:34:12.760 --> 00:34:18.120] If you've been holding back your voice, this segment will remind you just how powerful it really is.
[00:34:18.120 --> 00:34:20.040] Let's take a listen.
[00:34:20.360 --> 00:34:28.040] My self-talk, I will say that for most of us, you know, when we're born, we're not born with negative self-talk.
[00:34:28.040 --> 00:34:30.200] We're not born criticizing ourselves.
[00:34:30.200 --> 00:34:31.480] So I want everyone to hear this.
[00:34:31.480 --> 00:34:35.480] A lot of times clients will come to me, people will come to me and they'll be like, what's wrong with me?
[00:34:35.480 --> 00:34:37.000] I'm just so mean to myself.
[00:34:37.000 --> 00:34:43.800] And I'm like, yeah, well, because logically we know that it's not kind to talk to ourselves in that way.
[00:34:43.800 --> 00:34:50.200] But when we are used to hearing things being thrown at us and then we repeat that narrative to ourselves, right?
[00:34:50.200 --> 00:35:05.960] So if someone says to you, you're ugly, and then you believe that, and you say that over and over and over to yourself, you know, at some point, yes, it may have started because someone said that to you, but it is our job as adults to be like, wait a minute, I don't believe that about myself.
[00:35:05.960 --> 00:35:09.640] So, this is where self-talk out loud, talking to yourself out loud comes in.
[00:35:09.640 --> 00:35:11.040] And this is why it's a skill.
[00:35:11.040 --> 00:35:15.360] And anyone can learn to master their self-talk and change their inner conversation.
[00:35:15.360 --> 00:35:17.760] Because let's say you're looking in the mirror, right?
[00:35:14.760 --> 00:35:19.200] And you're now practicing.
[00:35:19.280 --> 00:35:29.280] You're on the say it out loud journey because you've read my book and you're in front of the mirror and you're noticing your self-talk about yourself, but you're saying it out loud this time.
[00:35:29.280 --> 00:35:31.040] You're not keeping that inside.
[00:35:31.040 --> 00:35:34.480] You don't want to pollute your body with those thoughts.
[00:35:34.480 --> 00:35:38.640] You don't want to pollute your creative channel and your mind with mean thoughts about your body.
[00:35:38.640 --> 00:35:45.520] So you stand in front of the mirror and you look at yourself and you say out loud what you're saying about yourself, about your body.
[00:35:45.520 --> 00:35:51.280] And from there, and you can do this in any situation, I just bring up body because that's where my self-talk has really helped me the most.
[00:35:51.280 --> 00:35:51.680] Yep.
[00:35:51.680 --> 00:35:52.640] It's like, oh my God.
[00:35:52.640 --> 00:35:58.240] And that is where my confidence comes from: how I feel about my body and what I say about my body to myself.
[00:35:58.240 --> 00:36:07.600] And so, anybody listening to this, y'all, if you just look at yourself, look at yourself in front of the mirror, I always say the mirror is the most underutilized tool in self-development.
[00:36:07.600 --> 00:36:19.680] Because if you can look at yourself in the mirror and be honest about what you're feeling about yourself and say that out loud, and even then, in that moment of vulnerability, you say to yourself, No, I will not speak to myself in this way.
[00:36:19.680 --> 00:36:21.840] I am beautiful the way that I am.
[00:36:21.840 --> 00:36:22.720] I accept myself.
[00:36:22.720 --> 00:36:24.480] And you may not believe it right away.
[00:36:24.480 --> 00:36:39.120] You may not believe those words, but the more you look to see yourself with love and you lead with love with yourself, the more your self-talk and your mind will become a safe place to be.
[00:36:39.120 --> 00:36:49.680] All of this, Jenna, learning to master your self-talk and being kinder to yourself is all because I want people to feel at home within themselves, in their minds, and in their bodies.
[00:36:49.680 --> 00:36:58.160] The reason why I want you to master your self-talk is because you will confidently show up and boldly ask for what you want.
[00:36:58.160 --> 00:37:05.320] Because think about how many times you have wanted to ask for something, but you didn't because you had voices in your head micromanaging you.
[00:37:05.720 --> 00:37:10.600] When you learn how to talk to yourself, those voices, they're going to become a team player.
[00:37:10.600 --> 00:37:11.800] I have a team in my mind.
[00:37:11.800 --> 00:37:13.800] I'm a coach to all the players in my mind.
[00:37:13.800 --> 00:37:18.120] Those are all the belittling voice, the insecure voice, the really excited voice.
[00:37:18.120 --> 00:37:21.480] You know, think about all these parts of yourself as different team players.
[00:37:21.480 --> 00:37:28.520] Your job is to be the coach and get all these parts of you together to be aligned in the mission that you want to put forth in the world.
[00:37:28.520 --> 00:37:31.320] And so, let me tell you my experience of this.
[00:37:31.320 --> 00:37:35.160] It was last May, May of 2022.
[00:37:35.160 --> 00:37:36.680] I live in Austin, Texas.
[00:37:36.680 --> 00:37:39.800] There's a magazine called the Austin Woman Magazine.
[00:37:39.800 --> 00:37:44.440] And I'd been in there, you know, a few times here or there over the course of the past two years.
[00:37:44.440 --> 00:37:46.280] And I was talking to one of the editors.
[00:37:46.280 --> 00:37:49.080] She was interviewing me for just like a two-page article.
[00:37:49.080 --> 00:37:51.320] I was giving tips on self-talk.
[00:37:51.320 --> 00:37:56.760] And I asked her out loud on the phone, I go, Hey, who's your cover girl for May?
[00:37:56.760 --> 00:37:58.120] She goes, We don't have one.
[00:37:58.120 --> 00:38:00.200] I go, You should put me on the cover.
[00:38:00.200 --> 00:38:01.640] That's just like that.
[00:38:01.640 --> 00:38:03.000] You should put me on the cover.
[00:38:03.000 --> 00:38:05.160] You haven't had any Indian women on the cover.
[00:38:05.160 --> 00:38:07.480] Plus, May is my 40th birthday month.
[00:38:07.480 --> 00:38:09.400] Wouldn't that be awesome?
[00:38:09.400 --> 00:38:14.520] And we can do a whole spread on living your life out loud and allowing yourself to be creatively expressed.
[00:38:14.520 --> 00:38:17.880] And she goes, All right, let me check with my team.
[00:38:17.880 --> 00:38:24.760] And then two weeks later, I get an email that says, How would you like to be the cover of Austin Woman for May of 2022?
[00:38:24.760 --> 00:38:26.280] And I said, Oh my God.
[00:38:26.280 --> 00:38:31.000] And that was for me when I realized I didn't ask her, Can you put me on the cover?
[00:38:31.000 --> 00:38:33.080] I said, You should put me on the cover.
[00:38:33.080 --> 00:38:36.680] Now, I don't know if I would ever do that again, but it was bold, Jenna.
[00:38:36.680 --> 00:38:38.840] It was bold.
[00:38:38.920 --> 00:38:39.720] I'm on the cover.
[00:38:39.720 --> 00:38:41.560] If you go to my Instagram, it's pinned right to the top.
[00:38:41.560 --> 00:38:45.760] I had a full 10-page spread, stylist, everything, cover of Austin Women Magazine.
[00:38:45.760 --> 00:38:49.120] We're in Whole Foods here, there, all throughout Austin, Texas.
[00:38:49.120 --> 00:38:54.080] All because I had the guts to ask, or no, tell you, you should put me on.
[00:38:54.720 --> 00:39:03.520] When you put yourself out there and ask for what you want, this wasn't like when I asked to be on the cover, it wasn't just cool, like, oh, cool, I want to be on the cover and get a 10-page spread.
[00:39:03.520 --> 00:39:05.840] It boils down to one thing, and I want everyone hearing this.
[00:39:06.080 --> 00:39:07.520] Write this down for yourself.
[00:39:07.520 --> 00:39:09.600] You got to value your voice.
[00:39:09.600 --> 00:39:15.840] I asked to be on the cover because I knew I would give a killer interview and I knew my words would set somebody free.
[00:39:15.840 --> 00:39:22.560] I value my words, and that goes into your question, Jenna, about trusting, just like trusting and having that inner knowing.
[00:39:22.560 --> 00:39:40.880] I made a promise to God in my darkest of days that if I were to sober up and stay sober and really get my freaking life back in order and really just start to trust and be obedient to the messages that I was getting from my God, that I would pay it forward.
[00:39:40.880 --> 00:39:42.240] And that's what I promised.
[00:39:42.240 --> 00:39:46.160] I made a promise that I would pay it forward and help somebody else in need.
[00:39:46.160 --> 00:39:48.000] So I trust that part of me.
[00:39:48.000 --> 00:39:49.600] I made a promise to myself.
[00:39:49.600 --> 00:39:53.360] I made a promise to God that I would get through this and I would help another person.
[00:39:53.360 --> 00:39:56.720] So I'm just, I'm just operating from that place.
[00:39:56.720 --> 00:40:14.720] And I trust that part of myself because I have evidence that when I surrender and accept my reality and also do the work to come back home to myself and continue to surrender day to day, but also be wildly responsible for my experience in life, that I can create anything.
[00:40:14.720 --> 00:40:19.920] And now that I know that and I really know that and I live that and I believe that, and not every day is easy.
[00:40:19.920 --> 00:40:21.680] Please catch me a week before my period.
[00:40:21.680 --> 00:40:29.960] I will not be saying the same thing, but I know how to bounce back, you know, and I believe that it is my duty to pay it forward and help others.
[00:40:29.960 --> 00:40:31.560] And I trust that.
[00:40:31.560 --> 00:40:32.440] That's it.
[00:40:29.680 --> 00:40:33.720] I just trust it.
[00:40:34.600 --> 00:40:41.240] Up next is Jen Gottlieb, author, speaker, and the queen of helping people step into the spotlight with confidence.
[00:40:41.240 --> 00:40:46.520] But what I love most about Jen is that she doesn't just talk about visibility from a branding standpoint.
[00:40:46.520 --> 00:40:49.880] She gets real about what it means to be truly seen.
[00:40:49.880 --> 00:41:00.440] In this clip, Jen shares how imposter syndrome, fear, and comparison show up even for the most confident people, and how building your confidence is actually about building trust with yourself.
[00:41:00.440 --> 00:41:03.880] Her tool for doing that, you'll want to start using it immediately.
[00:41:03.880 --> 00:41:05.240] Here's Jen.
[00:41:05.880 --> 00:41:22.360] Okay, so the first thing I want to do is like tell everybody, if you're having imposter syndrome in any moment of your life and you feel like you're the only one, please remove that from your brain right now because I talk to a lot of really successful people, people that I look up to that are out there that are building brands that look so unbelievably confident.
[00:41:22.360 --> 00:41:25.080] And every single person that I talk to, I'm like, do you have imposter syndrome?
[00:41:25.080 --> 00:41:25.480] Yeah.
[00:41:25.480 --> 00:41:26.840] Do you experience fear?
[00:41:26.840 --> 00:41:28.040] Do you experience not feeling worthy?
[00:41:28.040 --> 00:41:28.920] Do you experience not feeling good?
[00:41:29.240 --> 00:41:30.200] Every single one of them.
[00:41:30.200 --> 00:41:31.400] Yes, all the time.
[00:41:31.400 --> 00:41:33.800] And I'm like, does it ever go away?
[00:41:33.800 --> 00:41:35.960] And they all always say to me the exact same thing, John.
[00:41:36.120 --> 00:41:40.040] Yeah, no, you just get better at like doing things with it there anyway.
[00:41:40.040 --> 00:41:42.760] And in the book, I talk about the symptoms of fear.
[00:41:42.760 --> 00:41:47.880] And sometimes we can experience fear as like actual anxiety and the way that we feel it in our body.
[00:41:47.880 --> 00:41:52.040] And like, you know, when you're, when your heart's pounding and your palms are sweating and you feel afraid.
[00:41:52.040 --> 00:42:04.920] And sometimes we can experience fear as one of its symptoms where it's really sneaky and it sneaks in and it disguises itself as other things like imposter syndrome or perfectionism, or analysis paralysis, or comparisonitis.
[00:42:04.920 --> 00:42:11.640] All of these different emotions that a lot of us entrepreneurs and business builders are people that are building a brand experience on the regular, and we think, oh, I'm not good enough.
[00:42:11.640 --> 00:42:13.800] So I should just not do this right now, right?
[00:42:13.800 --> 00:42:14.880] I'm not good enough to be here.
[00:42:14.880 --> 00:42:17.920] Maybe they'll all realize that I don't really know what I'm talking about.
[00:42:17.920 --> 00:42:20.320] Or I'm not gonna post that because it's not perfect.
[00:42:14.680 --> 00:42:20.720] I'll wait.
[00:42:20.880 --> 00:42:22.480] I'll wait, maybe tomorrow it'll be better.
[00:42:22.480 --> 00:42:23.680] Maybe tomorrow it'll be perfect.
[00:42:23.680 --> 00:42:25.120] And I'll post the tomorrow.
[00:42:25.120 --> 00:42:26.560] I'll start tomorrow.
[00:42:26.560 --> 00:42:28.720] And these are all lies that fear tells us.
[00:42:28.720 --> 00:42:32.480] All of these symptoms, like imposter syndrome, is a classic one.
[00:42:32.480 --> 00:42:34.800] And it always is there with me.
[00:42:34.800 --> 00:42:42.320] Like, even during this book launch, Jenna, like a day doesn't go by where I don't feel, oh my gosh, like, am I good enough to be here?
[00:42:42.320 --> 00:42:48.400] But the cool thing is, is that we have tools that we can use to help us move through imposter syndrome when it hits.
[00:42:48.400 --> 00:42:49.840] And I've got a really good one for you.
[00:42:49.840 --> 00:42:51.040] Yeah, share it.
[00:42:51.040 --> 00:42:51.680] Okay.
[00:42:51.680 --> 00:42:52.080] All right.
[00:42:52.080 --> 00:42:57.040] So, in the book, the third chapter of the book is called This Little List Will Change Your Life.
[00:42:57.360 --> 00:43:03.040] And I know, Jenna, and I know us and a lot of our friends also experience this imposter syndrome.
[00:43:03.040 --> 00:43:08.640] And I built this tool that I'm about to share with you through helping out one of my friends, and I totally created it by accident.
[00:43:08.640 --> 00:43:11.840] So I want you, everyone that's listening, just put yourself in this position right now.
[00:43:11.840 --> 00:43:15.680] I know you've had this conversation with a friend if you're building a business and you have a business bestie.
[00:43:15.680 --> 00:43:19.360] So I was on the phone with my friend and she was like going to launch this product for the very first time.
[00:43:19.360 --> 00:43:25.440] And she was having massive imposter syndrome on just finally pressing go and releasing it and announcing it to the world.
[00:43:25.440 --> 00:43:26.960] And she was like, I can't do it.
[00:43:26.960 --> 00:43:27.600] I'm going to wait.
[00:43:27.600 --> 00:43:28.560] I think I'm going to wait a month.
[00:43:28.560 --> 00:43:29.200] It's not good enough.
[00:43:29.200 --> 00:43:30.240] It's not good enough.
[00:43:30.240 --> 00:43:31.440] Like, who am I to be doing this?
[00:43:31.440 --> 00:43:33.360] And I'm like, um, her name's Tori.
[00:43:33.360 --> 00:43:35.680] I was like, Tori, I think we need to pause right now.
[00:43:35.680 --> 00:43:39.840] And I think you need to just remember how much of a badass you really are.
[00:43:40.160 --> 00:43:41.680] And she's like, okay, what do you mean?
[00:43:41.680 --> 00:43:45.760] I'm like, why don't we just make a list of all of the moments in your life that like you were a badass?
[00:43:45.760 --> 00:43:47.920] And so she starts writing down all of these things.
[00:43:47.920 --> 00:43:48.240] Yeah.
[00:43:48.240 --> 00:43:48.960] I'm like, write it down.
[00:43:48.960 --> 00:43:50.400] She's like, oh, I ran a marathon.
[00:43:50.400 --> 00:43:50.800] Okay.
[00:43:50.800 --> 00:43:53.200] She's like, I moved to New York City alone when I was 20.
[00:43:53.200 --> 00:43:54.240] And I'm like, write that down.
[00:43:54.240 --> 00:43:56.960] She's like, oh, and I was like, wait, how much did you charge for your first product?
[00:43:56.960 --> 00:43:58.480] Did you make six figures on that launch?
[00:43:58.480 --> 00:43:59.560] Yes, like all these things.
[00:43:59.560 --> 00:44:00.520] And she starts writing them down.
[00:44:00.520 --> 00:44:03.640] I'm like, all right, let's play a game.
[00:44:03.640 --> 00:44:07.080] Why don't you read this list out loud as if you're reading it about somebody else?
[00:44:07.400 --> 00:44:08.840] No, read the list.
[00:44:08.840 --> 00:44:09.800] And she starts reading it.
[00:44:09.880 --> 00:44:16.920] I'm like, all right, now, if this was another person, would you tell this other person that they're not worthy of launching this course, of doing this now?
[00:44:17.240 --> 00:44:19.800] And she's like, no, Jen, they're awesome.
[00:44:19.800 --> 00:44:21.720] I was like, okay, well, that's you.
[00:44:22.040 --> 00:44:35.640] And so what I find happens why we experience imposter syndrome a lot of the time is because we spend so much time on the internet comparing our chapter one to somebody else's chapter 20, comparing our real life to somebody else's highlight reel, somebody else's finished product, and we start to feel not good enough.
[00:44:35.640 --> 00:44:38.440] We start to feel, forget how amazing we are.
[00:44:38.440 --> 00:44:41.320] So sometimes we just need to remember.
[00:44:41.320 --> 00:44:45.640] And the badass list is my tool that I go back to every single day.
[00:44:45.640 --> 00:44:46.600] I did it last night.
[00:44:46.600 --> 00:44:51.560] I keep it in my phone and it's simply a list of all the moments in my life where I felt amazing about myself.
[00:44:51.560 --> 00:44:55.800] And some of them are really small, tiny moments, like private moments with my family.
[00:44:55.800 --> 00:44:57.400] Some of them are big business moments.
[00:44:57.400 --> 00:44:59.960] Some of them are moments that only I know about.
[00:45:00.360 --> 00:45:11.000] But whenever I'm feeling like I can't go into a situation or I can't launch something or I can't be seen or I can't put something out there because I'm not good enough, I just read that list out loud as if it's somebody else.
[00:45:11.320 --> 00:45:13.960] And it's like, oh, is this person worthy of doing this thing?
[00:45:14.520 --> 00:45:17.720] Yeah, no, this person's a badass and this is me.
[00:45:18.040 --> 00:45:23.080] So I think you need to go just like do the damn thing, even if you feel like an imposter, because this is proof that you are not.
[00:45:23.080 --> 00:45:29.720] So if you don't feel confident, I want you to listen and really listen good because confidence can be created.
[00:45:29.720 --> 00:45:34.120] It actually can be created over time, but it does take a little bit of discomfort.
[00:45:34.120 --> 00:45:36.840] It does take experiencing the hard thing.
[00:45:36.840 --> 00:45:41.080] So, the confidence continuum is all about taking action with fear there anyway.
[00:45:41.080 --> 00:45:42.280] You're going to feel the fear.
[00:45:42.280 --> 00:45:44.600] It's going to be scary to do the thing that you don't wanna do.
[00:45:44.800 --> 00:45:57.680] But every single time you move through and you do the thing with fear there anyway, and you get to the other side and you stick to the commitment you made with yourself, no matter how difficult it was, or how scary or how painful, and you're on the other side, you're like, whoa, I didn't die, I just did that.
[00:45:57.680 --> 00:45:59.440] You're putting another coin in your confidence bank.
[00:45:59.440 --> 00:46:05.760] You're becoming more confident because the next time you go to do something scary, you have proof that you can do it and you have trust.
[00:46:05.760 --> 00:46:07.200] All confidence is self-trust.
[00:46:07.200 --> 00:46:08.560] It's trust that you did it before.
[00:46:08.560 --> 00:46:13.280] So, with, for instance, with these Instagram lives, I help people be seen online specifically.
[00:46:13.280 --> 00:46:15.200] That's like really what my business does.
[00:46:15.200 --> 00:46:17.040] And everyone's like, I'm too scared to go live.
[00:46:17.040 --> 00:46:19.200] I'm too scared to make a video.
[00:46:19.520 --> 00:46:22.320] All you got to do is do the hard thing once.
[00:46:22.320 --> 00:46:26.240] And once you do the hard thing once, you never have to do that first time ever again.
[00:46:26.640 --> 00:46:29.360] And after you've done that first time, you're going to celebrate that win.
[00:46:29.360 --> 00:46:31.120] So, make sure you don't skip the celebration.
[00:46:31.120 --> 00:46:32.560] Make sure you have a celebration with yourself.
[00:46:32.560 --> 00:46:33.600] Whoa, I did it.
[00:46:33.680 --> 00:46:35.520] Gives you the dopamine, the serotonin.
[00:46:35.520 --> 00:46:36.080] Okay, you did it.
[00:46:36.080 --> 00:46:36.560] You went live.
[00:46:36.560 --> 00:46:37.920] Maybe it was only for three minutes.
[00:46:37.920 --> 00:46:40.160] And maybe only two people joined, but that's okay.
[00:46:40.160 --> 00:46:41.120] You still did it.
[00:46:41.120 --> 00:46:46.880] So, what that's going to do is that's going to give you that little bit of motivation and confidence to do it the next time.
[00:46:46.880 --> 00:46:49.920] The next time is still going to be hard, but it's going to be a little easier than the first time.
[00:46:49.920 --> 00:46:51.120] So, then you do it the next time.
[00:46:51.120 --> 00:46:51.680] You take action.
[00:46:51.680 --> 00:46:52.800] Fear is still going to be there.
[00:46:52.880 --> 00:46:53.520] You got to do it.
[00:46:53.520 --> 00:46:55.360] And you do it and it's a little easier.
[00:46:55.360 --> 00:46:57.360] And maybe that next time you get a little bigger win.
[00:46:57.360 --> 00:46:59.680] Maybe next time six people join.
[00:46:59.680 --> 00:47:03.440] And maybe next time somebody DMs you after and they're like, wow, that was amazing.
[00:47:03.440 --> 00:47:05.120] I really want to talk to you about working with you.
[00:47:05.120 --> 00:47:06.320] How can I work with you?
[00:47:06.320 --> 00:47:07.840] Whoa, big win.
[00:47:07.840 --> 00:47:08.720] Holy crap.
[00:47:08.720 --> 00:47:09.520] Now you're trained.
[00:47:09.680 --> 00:47:12.080] When I go live, something really cool could happen.
[00:47:12.080 --> 00:47:17.120] Then you're going to be way more confident to do it the next time because you know you've done it twice now.
[00:47:17.120 --> 00:47:18.400] You know that you're not going to die.
[00:47:18.400 --> 00:47:21.840] You know that that discomfort's temporary and you know that a good thing happens on the other side.
[00:47:21.840 --> 00:47:22.640] It's training.
[00:47:22.640 --> 00:47:28.240] It's like going to the gym and putting in the reps and working out those muscles so you can get stronger.
[00:47:28.240 --> 00:47:32.360] And now I do it every day and it's not a big deal and I'm confident, but it didn't start that way.
[00:47:32.680 --> 00:47:39.640] So I want everyone that's listening to please know that confidence is built from consistently sticking with the commitments you make with yourself.
[00:47:39.640 --> 00:47:40.360] Yes.
[00:47:40.360 --> 00:47:46.040] Every time you say you're going to do something and you don't do it, you're telling your subconscious that you can't trust yourself to follow through.
[00:47:46.360 --> 00:47:51.000] But every single time that you do, tell yourself, all right, I'm going to do this today.
[00:47:51.000 --> 00:47:55.480] And you follow through and you do it, even though it was hard or it was scary or painful or it sucked.
[00:47:55.480 --> 00:47:59.400] But you get to your bed that night because we're all going to make it to our bed every single night.
[00:47:59.400 --> 00:48:01.960] And you can be in your bed and you can be like, wow, I did that today.
[00:48:01.960 --> 00:48:02.600] Yeah.
[00:48:02.600 --> 00:48:04.040] That's boom, cha-ching.
[00:48:04.040 --> 00:48:07.000] More coins, more coins in your confidence bank.
[00:48:07.320 --> 00:48:10.280] Oh my gosh, aren't you feeling so fired up right now?
[00:48:10.280 --> 00:48:16.680] Seriously, if your mindset wasn't already shifting before, I bet something cracked open during one of those clips.
[00:48:16.680 --> 00:48:23.240] Maybe it was Mel's reminder to let them think what they want or Jamie's truth bomb about self-worth being your ceiling.
[00:48:23.240 --> 00:48:29.560] Maybe it was Vasavi giving you permission to own your voice or Trent reminding you that peace is the real flex.
[00:48:29.560 --> 00:48:36.360] Or maybe, like Jen said, you're just ready to start putting coins in your confidence bank, one bold move at a time.
[00:48:36.360 --> 00:48:41.960] Wherever today's episode met you, I hope you walk away with one big mindset shift you're ready to live out.
[00:48:41.960 --> 00:48:47.880] And if you've loved this format of hearing from some of our most powerful past guests all in one place, let me know.
[00:48:47.880 --> 00:48:54.760] Send me a DM, leave a review, or better yet, hit that follow button on your podcast app so that you never miss another episode.
[00:48:54.760 --> 00:49:02.040] We've got more incredible voices, more honest conversations, and more mindset magic coming your way every single week.
[00:49:02.040 --> 00:49:02.920] You've got this.
[00:49:02.920 --> 00:49:04.680] I am always cheering you on.
[00:49:04.680 --> 00:49:09.720] And of course, until next time, Gold Diggers, keep on digging your biggest goals.
[00:49:10.360 --> 00:49:14.040] Thanks for pulling up a seat for another episode of the Gold Digger Podcast.
[00:49:14.040 --> 00:49:23.440] I hope today's episode filled you with inspiration, gave you information that you can turn into action, and realigned you with your true north in life and business.
[00:49:23.440 --> 00:49:34.080] If you've enjoyed today's episode, head on over to golddiggerpodcast.com for today's show notes, discount codes for our sponsors, freebies to fuel your results, and so much more.
[00:49:34.080 --> 00:49:38.640] And if you haven't yet, make sure you're subscribed so that you never miss a future show.
[00:49:38.640 --> 00:49:41.040] We'll see you next time, Gold Diggers.

Prompt 2: Key Takeaways

Now please extract the key takeaways from the transcript content I provided.

Extract the most important key takeaways from this part of the conversation. Use a single sentence statement (the key takeaway) rather than milquetoast descriptions like "the hosts discuss...". 

Limit the key takeaways to a maximum of 3. The key takeaways should be insightful and knowledge-additive. 

IMPORTANT: Return ONLY valid JSON, no explanations or markdown. Ensure:
- All strings are properly quoted and escaped
- No trailing commas
- All braces and brackets are balanced
Format: {"key_takeaways": ["takeaway 1", "takeaway 2"]}

Prompt 3: Segments

Now identify 2-4 distinct topical segments from this part of the conversation.

For each segment, identify:
- Descriptive title (3-6 words)  
- START timestamp when this topic begins (HH:MM:SS format)
- Double check that the timestamp is accurate - a timestamp will NEVER be greater than the total length of the audio
- Most important Key takeaway from that segment. Key takeaway must be specific and knowledge-additive.
- Brief summary of the discussion

IMPORTANT: The timestamp should mark when the topic/segment STARTS, not a range. Look for topic transitions and conversation shifts.

Return ONLY valid JSON. Ensure all strings are properly quoted, no trailing commas:
{
  "segments": [
    {
      "segment_title": "Topic Discussion", 
      "timestamp": "01:15:30",
      "key_takeaway": "main point from this segment",
      "segment_summary": "brief description of what was discussed"
    }
  ]
}

Timestamp format: HH:MM:SS (e.g., 00:05:30, 01:22:45) marking the START of each segment.

Prompt 4: Media Mentions

Now scan the transcript content I provided for ACTUAL mentions of specific media titles:

Find explicit mentions of:
- Books (with specific titles)
- Movies (with specific titles)  
- TV Shows (with specific titles)
- Music/Songs (with specific titles)

DO NOT include:
- Websites, URLs, or web services
- Other podcasts or podcast names

IMPORTANT: 
- Only include items explicitly mentioned by name. Do not invent titles.
- Valid categories are: "Book", "Movie", "TV Show", "Music"
- Include the exact phrase where each item was mentioned
- Find the nearest proximate timestamp where it appears in the conversation
- THE TIMESTAMP OF THE MEDIA MENTION IS IMPORTANT - DO NOT INVENT TIMESTAMPS AND DO NOT MISATTRIBUTE TIMESTAMPS
- Double check that the timestamp is accurate - a timestamp will NEVER be greater than the total length of the audio
- Timestamps are given as ranges, e.g. 01:13:42.520 --> 01:13:46.720. Use the EARLIER of the 2 timestamps in the range.

Return ONLY valid JSON. Ensure all strings are properly quoted and escaped, no trailing commas:
{
  "media_mentions": [
    {
      "title": "Exact Title as Mentioned",
      "category": "Book",
      "author_artist": "N/A",
      "context": "Brief context of why it was mentioned",
      "context_phrase": "The exact sentence or phrase where it was mentioned",
      "timestamp": "estimated time like 01:15:30"
    }
  ]
}

If no media is mentioned, return: {"media_mentions": []}

Full Transcript

[00:00:01.440 --> 00:00:05.440] Ever whispered, maybe I could create an online course someday?
[00:00:05.440 --> 00:00:10.240] And then you thought, nope, too overwhelming, too risky, and way too much tech.
[00:00:10.240 --> 00:00:11.840] That's you, I get it.
[00:00:11.840 --> 00:00:18.160] When I started, I had no clue where to begin, no extra hours, and no idea if anyone would buy.
[00:00:18.160 --> 00:00:20.400] Then I met Amy Porterfield.
[00:00:20.400 --> 00:00:27.120] She gave me a clear, doable path, and that someday dream became a profitable, sustainable part of my business.
[00:00:27.120 --> 00:00:31.600] Now I've built multiple online courses that earn while I live my life.
[00:00:31.600 --> 00:00:37.680] That's why I'm so excited to tell you about Course Confident, a live boot camp with Amy herself.
[00:00:37.680 --> 00:00:40.560] Four live trainings with one clear outcome.
[00:00:40.560 --> 00:00:49.360] Nail your profitable course topic, choose your type and price with confidence, and learn how to attract your future students without being glued to your screen.
[00:00:49.360 --> 00:00:52.240] You'll be in a private-driven community that gets it.
[00:00:52.240 --> 00:01:02.000] The doubts, the wins, the why is this so hard moments, the accountability, ideas, and encouragement you need to move from thinking about it to doing it.
[00:01:02.000 --> 00:01:05.360] Join through jennakutcher.com forward slash bootcamp.
[00:01:05.360 --> 00:01:15.120] And when you join, you'll also get my beginner-friendly mini course, The Pinterest Kickstart, which is your quick start guide to growing your audience and email list before you even launch.
[00:01:15.120 --> 00:01:17.920] $27 of value, yours free.
[00:01:17.920 --> 00:01:24.960] If you want more freedom, more alignment, and income you don't have to chase daily, this is your next right step.
[00:01:24.960 --> 00:01:26.720] We start September 11th.
[00:01:26.720 --> 00:01:31.600] Save your spot today at jennakutcher.com forward slash bootcamp.
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[00:02:03.480 --> 00:02:11.560] It's like having a personal assistant built right into your PC to cover the menial tasks so that you can focus on what matters.
[00:02:11.560 --> 00:02:15.000] That's the power of Dell AI with Intel Inside.
[00:02:15.000 --> 00:02:25.560] With deals on Dell AI PCs like the Dell 16 Plus starting at $749.99, it is the perfect time to refresh your tech and take back your time.
[00:02:25.560 --> 00:02:30.600] Upgrade your AI PC today by visiting dell.com/slash deals.
[00:02:30.600 --> 00:02:33.640] That's dell.com/slash deals.
[00:02:38.440 --> 00:02:46.760] If you've ever wondered whether the way you think is what's holding you back, this episode might just flip a switch you didn't know needed flipping.
[00:02:47.080 --> 00:02:50.600] I'm Jenna Kutcher, your host of the Goldigger podcast.
[00:02:50.600 --> 00:02:57.480] I escaped the corporate world at the age of 23 with nothing more than a $300 camera from Craigslist and a dream.
[00:02:57.480 --> 00:03:05.640] Now I'm running a seven-figure online business that feels even better than it looks all from my house in small town, Minnesota with my family.
[00:03:05.640 --> 00:03:08.520] Here, we value time as our currency.
[00:03:08.520 --> 00:03:15.880] We mix the woo and the work, and we are in the pursuit of building businesses that give us the freedom to live lives that we love.
[00:03:15.880 --> 00:03:21.160] I've always loved turning big goals into reality, and I'm here to help you do the same.
[00:03:21.160 --> 00:03:23.400] This isn't just a peek behind the curtain.
[00:03:23.400 --> 00:03:27.080] Come along with me and my guests as we tear the whole curtain down.
[00:03:27.080 --> 00:03:34.520] Every week, we tackle practical, no-fluff marketing strategies and host honest discussions on what works and what doesn't.
[00:03:34.520 --> 00:03:40.520] Join me and my expert guests for actionable insights to help you grow your dream business with confidence.
[00:03:40.520 --> 00:03:44.960] Pull up a seat and get ready to be challenged, inspired, and empowered.
[00:03:44.440 --> 00:03:47.440] This is the Gold Digger podcast.
[00:03:48.960 --> 00:03:54.320] We talk a lot about what to do to grow, what to post, what to sell, what strategy to follow.
[00:03:54.320 --> 00:03:58.400] But the truth is, none of that matters if your mindset isn't in the right place.
[00:03:58.400 --> 00:04:01.840] The biggest transformations, they don't usually start with a checklist.
[00:04:01.840 --> 00:04:09.040] They start with a belief, a shift, a single moment where you realize, oh, maybe it doesn't have to be this way.
[00:04:09.040 --> 00:04:12.000] This episode is filled with those moments.
[00:04:12.000 --> 00:04:20.080] I've pulled together five of the most powerful mindset shifts ever shared on the Gold Digger podcast, straight from some of our most impactful guests.
[00:04:20.080 --> 00:04:26.640] These are the beliefs and inner scripts that changed everything for them, and they might just change everything for you too.
[00:04:26.640 --> 00:04:36.400] If you're starting something new, stuck in self-doubt, or just need a reminder that your brain can be your biggest asset and not your biggest roadblock, this is for you.
[00:04:36.400 --> 00:04:42.560] We're kicking things off with someone who's become not just a guest on this show, but one of my closest friends, Miss Mel Robbins.
[00:04:42.560 --> 00:04:45.280] Her let them theory has gone viral for a reason.
[00:04:45.280 --> 00:04:55.600] In a world obsessed with opinions, control, and people pleasing, Mel shares her theory on how to protect your energy, reclaim your power, and move forward with confidence.
[00:04:55.600 --> 00:05:00.080] If the fear of what others think has been holding you back, this one's going to hit deep.
[00:05:00.080 --> 00:05:01.440] Let's dive in.
[00:05:02.080 --> 00:05:17.440] I think the single thing standing in your way as you're listening is this concern and fear, and more importantly, the power you're giving to other people's thoughts, which is something you'll never be able to control.
[00:05:17.440 --> 00:05:19.280] And frankly, it's sad.
[00:05:19.280 --> 00:05:35.800] It is sad that you allow something that you can't control to block you from doing what you want to do in your life and expressing yourself and launching the business and starting the podcast and all these ways you wanna grow and put yourself out there.
[00:05:35.800 --> 00:05:44.360] If the only thing that's holding you back is the fear of what somebody might think, the good news is we're gonna teach you today how to actually remove that fear.
[00:05:44.360 --> 00:05:53.400] And so this is where the let them theory is going to set you free because you're going to let people think negative thoughts.
[00:05:54.040 --> 00:06:08.680] And the reason why this is revolutionary is because when you let people think negative thoughts, you're actually allowing something that you're afraid of, because that's what you're afraid of.
[00:06:08.840 --> 00:06:12.600] You're not afraid that people are going to think positive things about you.
[00:06:12.920 --> 00:06:15.480] You're afraid they're going to think negative things.
[00:06:15.480 --> 00:06:22.840] And so what if you just lived your life giving people permission to think negative thoughts?
[00:06:22.840 --> 00:06:23.960] Just let them.
[00:06:23.960 --> 00:06:31.720] And the reason why you're going to find this to be revolutionary is because when you say, let them think negative thoughts, let them unfollow me.
[00:06:31.720 --> 00:06:33.080] Let them gossip.
[00:06:33.080 --> 00:06:36.360] Let them not understand what I'm doing and why.
[00:06:36.360 --> 00:06:38.440] Let them be upset by my decisions.
[00:06:38.440 --> 00:06:47.480] When you let people think negative thoughts about you, you now release control of something you could never control.
[00:06:47.480 --> 00:06:53.640] You also acknowledge this thing you've been deeply afraid of, but you rise above it because you kind of feel a little bit superior.
[00:06:53.640 --> 00:07:05.800] Like if you're struggling with posting on social media or following, you know, Jenna's extraordinary advice on monetizing Pinterest, which by the way, Jenna has taught me everything that I know.
[00:07:05.800 --> 00:07:07.560] She is behind my strategy.
[00:07:07.560 --> 00:07:09.880] She is a genius, and you should be doing it.
[00:07:09.880 --> 00:07:19.680] But the only thing that will keep you from actually following Jenna's formulas and her teaching is your fear that people are going to think something negative.
[00:07:14.760 --> 00:07:21.200] So just let them think something negative.
[00:07:21.360 --> 00:07:26.480] And what happens is you start to go, oh, well, let them think something negative because I know what I'm doing.
[00:07:26.480 --> 00:07:33.040] And then you come back to the let me part and you say, let me remind myself, my social media, it's actually for me.
[00:07:33.040 --> 00:07:38.560] My social media is for my business, my self-expression, my income, my artistry.
[00:07:38.560 --> 00:07:41.600] It's not for my friends from college.
[00:07:41.920 --> 00:07:44.000] It's not for my family.
[00:07:44.000 --> 00:07:50.080] Let them think negative thoughts and let me remind myself that I get to choose what I think about myself.
[00:07:50.080 --> 00:08:00.720] And if I'm operating in a way where I'm doing the things that I would like to be doing in my life and I'm aligned with my values, then I'm proud of myself.
[00:08:00.720 --> 00:08:16.240] And what I've found is that when you're really proud of yourself and when you give yourself the grace and the space to act in accordance with your dreams and your values, something really interesting happens.
[00:08:16.240 --> 00:08:24.960] You don't really think much about other people at all because you've removed the fear, because you've actually said, just let them think negative thoughts.
[00:08:24.960 --> 00:08:25.840] I know who I am.
[00:08:25.840 --> 00:08:27.600] I know why I'm doing things.
[00:08:27.760 --> 00:08:34.160] I know people won't understand, but I know that I'm operating based on goals and values and character.
[00:08:34.160 --> 00:08:36.320] And when I do that, I'm proud of myself.
[00:08:36.320 --> 00:08:42.240] And if somebody's upset, then I'm going to trust that they're going to come to me and then I can have a conversation then.
[00:08:42.240 --> 00:08:46.640] But I don't need to worry about this because it's out of my control.
[00:08:46.640 --> 00:08:56.760] You know, I want to share something else because you said earlier, Jenna, something that was so astute, which is women in particular are exhausted.
[00:08:56.760 --> 00:09:03.240] That we collapse into bed, we wake up exhausted, our thoughts are racing.
[00:09:03.560 --> 00:09:09.880] We feel that, you know, if one ball drops, everything's going to implode, that it's all up to us.
[00:09:09.880 --> 00:09:14.360] We never have time to advance our goals, to put ourselves first.
[00:09:14.680 --> 00:09:18.120] And here's how the let them theory is going to change your life.
[00:09:18.120 --> 00:09:20.280] This is how it's changed my life.
[00:09:20.600 --> 00:09:24.840] Life is like a death by a thousand cuts.
[00:09:24.840 --> 00:09:45.560] And you don't realize this now, but when you start saying let them, you're going to realize that all day long, you're allowing other people's behavior and you're allowing things that are beyond your control to drain your life force energy.
[00:09:45.560 --> 00:09:53.880] You know, there's this huge movement around micro-dosing as a way to kind of lift your spirits and your energy and your focus up.
[00:09:54.200 --> 00:10:03.640] I want you to understand that the reason why you're so tired is you're experiencing micro-draining of your energy and your time.
[00:10:03.640 --> 00:10:05.320] And I'll give you an example.
[00:10:05.320 --> 00:10:11.400] So the day after I discovered the let them theory, I was standing in a line.
[00:10:11.400 --> 00:10:13.400] And have you ever been at like a garden center?
[00:10:13.400 --> 00:10:15.800] I know you are a major gardener just like me.
[00:10:15.880 --> 00:10:19.080] And you got my big old cart and all my soil.
[00:10:19.080 --> 00:10:20.040] Yeah, exactly.
[00:10:20.040 --> 00:10:23.960] And there's like five people in front of you, and there's only one cashier.
[00:10:23.960 --> 00:10:24.360] Yep.
[00:10:24.360 --> 00:10:29.160] And it's like beep, beep, beep.
[00:10:29.480 --> 00:10:31.320] Pause for small talk.
[00:10:31.640 --> 00:10:32.760] Beep.
[00:10:32.760 --> 00:10:33.320] Yep.
[00:10:33.320 --> 00:10:34.120] Beep.
[00:10:34.120 --> 00:10:36.600] Oh, this doesn't have a price.
[00:10:36.600 --> 00:10:38.440] How do you feel in that moment?
[00:10:39.160 --> 00:10:41.400] Stressed, anxious, frustrated?
[00:10:41.400 --> 00:10:42.280] All the things.
[00:10:42.600 --> 00:10:43.720] All the things.
[00:10:43.720 --> 00:10:45.200] And then you start rocking.
[00:10:44.840 --> 00:10:49.040] And then you probably, if you're like me, you turn to the person next to you and you roll your eyes.
[00:10:49.360 --> 00:10:54.720] And then you're looking around and you're angry at the person who's restocking plants because they're not coming up.
[00:10:54.720 --> 00:11:01.120] And next thing you know, you think that you can run the garden center better than anybody else and you're all agitated.
[00:11:01.120 --> 00:11:04.720] And here's this is an example of why you're so tired.
[00:11:04.720 --> 00:11:09.840] Because you just allowed something that is out of your control to do two things.
[00:11:09.840 --> 00:11:14.480] Number one, you allowed it to stress you out.
[00:11:14.800 --> 00:11:21.680] What you are describing is what happens when your body goes into a medical state called a stress response.
[00:11:21.680 --> 00:11:23.520] You go into fight or flight.
[00:11:23.520 --> 00:11:40.480] And the problem for most of us is if we jack ourselves up like that around a grocery line or traffic or something that our mother-in-law said or some comment on a post, we tend to stay in fight or flight, which impacts focus, which impacts your energy, which impacts your mood.
[00:11:40.480 --> 00:11:44.560] And it was because of something stupid.
[00:11:44.880 --> 00:12:05.440] And the second reason why this is really kind of this micro moment that has a major impact on you is that because you're so focused on what's happening out there, the beep, beep, beep, and what's not happening, you actually miss how much control you have.
[00:12:05.440 --> 00:12:19.120] So in that situation, what you're going to do anytime you're frustrated, anytime you're annoyed, anytime somebody hurts you or worries you or bothers you or you have an opinion, or you feel that agitation, just say, Let them.
[00:12:19.440 --> 00:12:24.080] And what immediately happens, Jenna, is you're going to feel this release.
[00:12:24.080 --> 00:12:25.520] You're going to feel your shoulders drop.
[00:12:25.520 --> 00:12:26.880] You're going to feel a little bit of peace.
[00:12:26.880 --> 00:12:29.680] You're going to feel the stress leave your body.
[00:12:30.040 --> 00:12:38.360] And you're acknowledging when you say, Let them, this is not in my control, therefore it is not worth my time and energy.
[00:12:38.360 --> 00:12:48.360] And then when you say, let me, you bring all of the time and energy and the power back to you and your response to it.
[00:12:48.360 --> 00:12:52.040] Because what you can control, I can control what I choose to think about this.
[00:12:52.360 --> 00:12:55.720] I can control what I'm going to do or don't do in response.
[00:12:55.720 --> 00:12:59.480] And in that instance, I could close my eyes and meditate.
[00:12:59.480 --> 00:13:05.720] I could call my mom because I am trying to make more of an effort to reach out.
[00:13:05.720 --> 00:13:07.400] And I could use the time like that.
[00:13:07.400 --> 00:13:08.680] And you know what else I could do?
[00:13:08.680 --> 00:13:10.280] I could actually leave.
[00:13:10.600 --> 00:13:17.240] I could take my little cart full of the soil and the plants and I could put it over on the side and I could walk out.
[00:13:17.240 --> 00:13:21.320] And I certainly have control over what I do with these feelings.
[00:13:21.320 --> 00:13:23.720] Do I let them run me over and ruin my day?
[00:13:23.720 --> 00:13:27.000] Or do I just let them rise and fall?
[00:13:27.000 --> 00:13:32.200] And when you recognize that in any situation, you have power.
[00:13:32.200 --> 00:13:43.720] You can leave any line, you can leave any interview, you can leave any conversation, any date, any text chain, any dining room table, any business partnership, anytime you choose to.
[00:13:43.720 --> 00:13:59.720] But if you allow the world around you and people's moods and things beyond your control and things that are beneath you to actually bother you, this is the reason why you're so tired.
[00:13:59.720 --> 00:14:03.480] It's because you unknowingly give power away all day long.
[00:14:03.480 --> 00:14:12.200] And I can't wait for you to start using this because what I discovered almost immediately is: holy cow, I have so much more time than I thought.
[00:14:12.200 --> 00:14:26.720] Holy cow, I'm actually not that tired at eight o'clock at night because I haven't allowed the world around me or some dumb text or some immature thing that a friend did to actually drain me.
[00:14:27.040 --> 00:14:41.760] Before we jump into this next clip, which by the way is one of the most honest conversations about peace I've literally ever had, I want to take a second to thank our sponsors for supporting this episode and making it possible to bring conversations like these straight to your earbuds.
[00:14:43.040 --> 00:14:45.440] This message is sponsored by Greenlight.
[00:14:45.440 --> 00:14:49.360] My six-year-old woke up this morning asking if she could do chores to earn money.
[00:14:49.360 --> 00:14:50.080] Why?
[00:14:50.080 --> 00:14:54.320] Because she read a fancy Nancy book where Nancy worked to buy fabulous shoes.
[00:14:54.320 --> 00:14:59.760] And suddenly, my daughter wanted to experience the same pride of buying something special with her own money.
[00:14:59.760 --> 00:15:05.760] But here's what hit me: I had no good way to help her actually see and feel her money growing.
[00:15:05.760 --> 00:15:07.200] Cash gets lost.
[00:15:07.200 --> 00:15:13.200] Piggy banks are abstract, and she can't really understand the connection between effort and reward.
[00:15:13.200 --> 00:15:15.280] That's why we started using Greenlight.
[00:15:15.280 --> 00:15:22.000] Greenlight is the easy, convenient way for parents to raise financially smart kids and for families to navigate life together.
[00:15:22.000 --> 00:15:29.680] And maybe that's why millions of parents trust and kids love learning about money on Greenlight, the number one family finance and safety app.
[00:15:29.680 --> 00:15:33.760] Now, when she does chores, I can instantly send her earnings to her card.
[00:15:33.760 --> 00:15:38.640] She watches her balance grow in real time and feels genuine ownership over her money.
[00:15:38.640 --> 00:15:44.880] And when she's ready for those fabulous shoes, she'll swipe her own card and experience that incredible feeling Nancy had.
[00:15:44.880 --> 00:15:47.600] Don't wait to teach your kids real-world money skills.
[00:15:47.600 --> 00:15:52.000] Start your risk-free Green Light trial today at greenlight.com/slash gold digger.
[00:15:52.000 --> 00:15:55.200] That's greenlight.com/slash gold digger to get started.
[00:15:55.200 --> 00:15:58.400] Greenlight.com slash gold digger.
[00:15:59.360 --> 00:16:05.480] This podcast is brought to you by Mercury, banking that helps entrepreneurs do more with their money.
[00:16:05.800 --> 00:16:10.600] When I first started taking my business seriously, I remember feeling stretched thin.
[00:16:10.600 --> 00:16:15.800] I was juggling invoices, tracking payments, and managing cash flow across different tools.
[00:16:15.800 --> 00:16:19.160] It was messy, and I thought banking had to be that way.
[00:16:19.160 --> 00:16:21.640] That's why I was impressed with Mercury.
[00:16:21.640 --> 00:16:31.320] Unlike traditional banking that feels clunky and outdated, Mercury is designed to make managing money effortless so that you can focus on what actually grows your business.
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[00:16:39.720 --> 00:16:43.080] Plus, Mercury flexes to fit all types of businesses.
[00:16:43.080 --> 00:16:48.520] So whether you're a funded startup, agency, or e-commerce brand, it can be tailored to you.
[00:16:48.520 --> 00:16:53.560] Visit mercury.com to join over 200,000 entrepreneurs who use Mercury.
[00:16:53.560 --> 00:16:56.920] Mercury is a financial technology company, not a bank.
[00:16:56.920 --> 00:17:00.360] For important details, check the show notes.
[00:17:00.680 --> 00:17:01.720] Welcome back.
[00:17:01.720 --> 00:17:06.360] Now let's hear from Trent Shelton, former NFL player turned transformational speaker.
[00:17:06.360 --> 00:17:12.440] Trent's story of burnout, identity crisis, and finding peace is one so many of us can relate to.
[00:17:12.440 --> 00:17:17.480] In this conversation, he shares how to protect your peace when you receive negative feedback.
[00:17:17.480 --> 00:17:19.240] I absolutely love this conversation.
[00:17:19.240 --> 00:17:24.840] What he shares here is one of the most game-changing mindset shifts you can make as a business owner.
[00:17:25.160 --> 00:17:29.000] What's helped serve me is understanding a few things.
[00:17:29.000 --> 00:17:33.720] Number one, and I know this seems super motivational and inspirational, but it's true.
[00:17:33.720 --> 00:17:37.800] Like, if you're doing nothing, you're not going to receive nothing.
[00:17:37.800 --> 00:17:44.200] So, if you have attention on you, people have critiques, people have criticisms, then congratulations.
[00:17:44.200 --> 00:17:47.440] That means that you're doing something worth criticizing.
[00:17:47.760 --> 00:17:55.280] And for me, I would rather have that any day than not have, you know, a life that's not making no impact.
[00:17:55.280 --> 00:18:00.240] So, as the great quote says, if you don't want any criticism, say nothing, do nothing, be nothing.
[00:18:00.240 --> 00:18:06.160] So, I want to just start off with that perspective, but I want to give you this perspective also: like, where is it coming from?
[00:18:06.160 --> 00:18:12.720] Yeah, you know, consider the source because a lot of times it's people who, as I always say, won't even be at your funeral.
[00:18:12.720 --> 00:18:15.440] Yeah, ain't said one prayer for you, won't help you.
[00:18:15.440 --> 00:18:22.960] And these are the people that you're allowing to control your greatness, to control the voice that's meant for you to give to the world.
[00:18:22.960 --> 00:18:24.800] Because I always think about the bigger picture.
[00:18:24.800 --> 00:18:30.320] You know, when the meaning becomes big enough, the hate, the criticism will never become strong enough.
[00:18:30.320 --> 00:18:41.680] You know, if a listener right now, you have a kid, and I always talk about fear with this, but you have a kid, and your kid is, you know, in dire help and need, and there's like a freaking tiger out there that you're afraid of.
[00:18:41.680 --> 00:18:44.560] You don't care about the tiger because you want to save your kid.
[00:18:44.560 --> 00:18:47.360] And it's the same with your business and your goals and your mission.
[00:18:47.360 --> 00:18:51.520] Like when it becomes big, so mine was a promise to my friend that committed suicide.
[00:18:51.520 --> 00:18:56.640] So any hate, any criticism, yeah, I heard it, but I didn't allow it to define me.
[00:18:56.640 --> 00:18:58.160] Peace is this, Jenna.
[00:18:58.160 --> 00:18:59.600] And I want to explain this definition.
[00:18:59.600 --> 00:19:01.040] I think it'll help them a little bit.
[00:19:01.040 --> 00:19:01.680] Yeah.
[00:19:02.000 --> 00:19:08.880] Peace is, I always say peace is something you can't experience if you allow the things that you can't control to control you, right?
[00:19:08.880 --> 00:19:12.320] Peace doesn't mean that the storm doesn't exist.
[00:19:12.320 --> 00:19:13.600] It means that the storm will pass.
[00:19:13.600 --> 00:19:15.920] It doesn't mean that you don't have chaos around your life.
[00:19:15.920 --> 00:19:19.360] It means that the chaos doesn't kill the calm inside you.
[00:19:19.360 --> 00:19:27.520] And so I would tell the person listening to this is like, develop a deeper meaning on what you're doing.
[00:19:27.520 --> 00:19:29.200] Can you control what they say?
[00:19:29.200 --> 00:19:30.360] No, you can't.
[00:19:29.760 --> 00:19:36.600] And oftentimes, yes, I know it's hard when it's the people closest to you that give you the most criticism and feedback.
[00:19:36.760 --> 00:19:41.800] But what people are doing, and I've learned this, is they're projecting their insecurities and fears on you.
[00:19:41.800 --> 00:19:46.200] So it's less about you and it's more about what they're not doing with their life.
[00:19:46.200 --> 00:19:50.680] And so that's helped me protect my peace and be like, oh, they don't understand.
[00:19:50.680 --> 00:19:51.960] They've never been successful.
[00:19:51.960 --> 00:19:54.520] They have never tried to achieve what I'm trying to do.
[00:19:54.520 --> 00:19:56.760] They have never tried to be what I'm trying to become.
[00:19:56.760 --> 00:20:01.320] So why would I allow them to stop what's really meant for my life?
[00:20:01.320 --> 00:20:08.040] And once you build that muscle memory, you start to realize that, oh, it's just opinions.
[00:20:08.040 --> 00:20:10.440] We give way too much power to opinions.
[00:20:10.440 --> 00:20:12.200] Opinions cannot stop you.
[00:20:12.200 --> 00:20:13.880] There can be, happens every day to me.
[00:20:13.880 --> 00:20:15.960] Trent, you shouldn't talk like this.
[00:20:15.960 --> 00:20:16.840] You are terrible.
[00:20:16.840 --> 00:20:17.960] You, this, and this.
[00:20:17.960 --> 00:20:20.440] And I realized, like, it's an opinion.
[00:20:20.440 --> 00:20:23.080] Let people have their opinions and you keep living your truth.
[00:20:23.080 --> 00:20:28.200] And you'll realize that the people that are there for you to serve will support you.
[00:20:28.520 --> 00:20:29.800] And that's all you need in this journey.
[00:20:29.800 --> 00:20:37.880] But I would tell the listeners this: one thing that's helped me, and I've said this, and it's a little, it's not controversy, but people kind of look at me sideways at first.
[00:20:38.200 --> 00:20:44.760] But I've told people in my life, and I stand by this, is that I'm not loyal to people anymore.
[00:20:44.760 --> 00:20:46.520] I'm loyal to my principles.
[00:20:46.840 --> 00:20:55.880] And what I mean by that, and I don't want people to take this out of context, but what I mean is that sometimes we're so loyal to people or so loyal to things.
[00:20:55.880 --> 00:20:57.960] We're loyal to our heartbreak.
[00:20:57.960 --> 00:20:59.960] We're loyal to our low energy.
[00:20:59.960 --> 00:21:05.000] We're loyal to the things that are destroying our life because we want to be so loyal all the time.
[00:21:05.000 --> 00:21:06.600] You can be loyal to the wrong things.
[00:21:06.600 --> 00:21:09.800] And so, there's some things in my life I had to take my loyalty back.
[00:21:09.800 --> 00:21:14.800] And when I say principles, because I know my principles are set up for me to protect my peace.
[00:21:14.800 --> 00:21:16.480] So, I say, what's guiding your life?
[00:21:16.480 --> 00:21:17.600] Is it your loyalty?
[00:21:14.520 --> 00:21:19.200] Which is a great trait to have.
[00:21:19.360 --> 00:21:23.280] Like, loyal people are amazing, but is your loyalty in the wrong place?
[00:21:23.280 --> 00:21:27.280] You know, people will always say, I'm so afraid to let people down.
[00:21:27.360 --> 00:21:28.320] I said, I get it.
[00:21:28.320 --> 00:21:30.640] I am too, but I'm more afraid to let myself down.
[00:21:30.640 --> 00:21:30.960] Yeah.
[00:21:30.960 --> 00:21:35.840] Because if I let me down, then everything that surrounds me gets let down by default.
[00:21:35.840 --> 00:21:40.720] So, I would challenge you listening to this: like, what are your principles?
[00:21:40.720 --> 00:21:47.280] What are the principles that you need to set that says, this is my guiding compass on how I operate my life?
[00:21:47.280 --> 00:21:50.160] So, when my feelings, I always talk about facts over feelings.
[00:21:50.160 --> 00:21:59.920] When my feelings say, I want to do it, or I want to say yes, but I look at the facts and say, the facts say, man, if I say yes, in this 90 days of no, I already know where it's going to lead.
[00:22:00.240 --> 00:22:02.880] So, I'm going to say no, even when I want to say yes.
[00:22:02.880 --> 00:22:04.400] And so, write down those principles.
[00:22:04.400 --> 00:22:09.520] One of my principles is simply, you know, leave things better than how I found it.
[00:22:09.520 --> 00:22:13.840] I mean, that's a suit, that's an easy principle, but that even starts with myself.
[00:22:13.840 --> 00:22:15.040] It starts with my day.
[00:22:15.040 --> 00:22:28.240] And so, what are your principles that you can go by that will guide your life and say, man, if I'm loyal to my principles, then I know that I'm leading my life and I'm putting my life in the best place for me to have the right energy, for me to be efficient.
[00:22:28.320 --> 00:22:31.200] And the first part of the book is called Protect Your Energy.
[00:22:31.200 --> 00:22:33.360] And people think we have an infinite amount of energy.
[00:22:33.360 --> 00:22:37.680] No, like some of us, we guard our cell phones more than we guard our soul.
[00:22:38.080 --> 00:22:41.200] Like, if our cell phone battery is going down to 10%, where's the charger?
[00:22:41.200 --> 00:22:41.920] Where's the charger?
[00:22:42.320 --> 00:22:44.880] But when our life goes down to 10%, oh, I need to do more.
[00:22:44.880 --> 00:22:45.920] I need to do more.
[00:22:45.880 --> 00:22:48.160] Like, like we need a DMD on our soul in our life.
[00:22:48.160 --> 00:22:51.280] And you did that for 90 days, and I'm sure it felt great.
[00:22:51.280 --> 00:22:57.840] And so, I would challenge people to really understand their principles and let that be the guiding force on how they live their life.
[00:22:58.160 --> 00:23:00.520] Next, we'll hear from my friend Jamie Kernlima.
[00:23:00.680 --> 00:23:10.840] You might know her as the founder of It Cosmetics or a guest on Shark Tank, but what you may not know is how deeply her success was shaped by her relationship with her own self-worth.
[00:23:10.840 --> 00:23:21.880] In this segment, Jamie breaks down the difference between self-confidence and self-worth and how the internal ceiling we place on ourselves can be even more limiting than any external obstacle.
[00:23:21.880 --> 00:23:28.120] If you've ever believed that achieving more would finally make you feel like enough, this one's for you.
[00:23:28.440 --> 00:23:32.760] Self-confidence and self-worth, they're both super important in our lives.
[00:23:32.760 --> 00:23:34.760] They are very different.
[00:23:34.760 --> 00:23:36.520] They are very different.
[00:23:36.520 --> 00:23:45.480] And we learn this lie, most of us, our entire life from TV commercials, from how we're raised, from the questions people ask us.
[00:23:45.480 --> 00:23:52.520] We learn that if we build enough of the things that bring self-confidence, then we'll finally feel enough.
[00:23:53.080 --> 00:24:01.240] And what we don't know is when we build all these things that build self-confidence, while they're very important and valuable, none of them build self-worth.
[00:24:01.240 --> 00:24:12.840] And so, for everyone listening, especially, and I know so many people listening to you will have this in common with you and me, that they are probably achievers and ambitious and all of those things.
[00:24:12.840 --> 00:24:25.560] And for anyone who has ever had this goal and this dream and this ambition and thought, oh my gosh, when I finally get that thing, then I'm going to be happy.
[00:24:25.560 --> 00:24:26.840] Then I'm going to be fulfilled.
[00:24:26.840 --> 00:24:28.280] Then I'm going to be crushing it.
[00:24:28.280 --> 00:24:30.680] Then I'm going to finally feel enough.
[00:24:31.000 --> 00:24:37.400] And then, like, we work so hard, a lot of us for years to get that thing, and we get it.
[00:24:37.400 --> 00:24:42.360] And then, for most of us, we're like, wait a minute, that did not solve all my problems.
[00:24:42.360 --> 00:24:44.440] I am not happy and fulfilled.
[00:24:44.560 --> 00:24:47.760] Why do I still feel like something's missing?
[00:24:44.440 --> 00:24:49.520] Why do I still feel like I'm not enough?
[00:24:49.840 --> 00:24:54.560] And so, then, for most of us, our answer is, oh, I've just got to achieve more.
[00:24:54.560 --> 00:24:58.880] So, then we go harder, we hustle harder, we do the next thing, and the next thing, and the next thing.
[00:24:58.880 --> 00:25:03.040] And it becomes this never-ending perpetual cycle to nowhere.
[00:25:03.040 --> 00:25:06.480] Where, and a lot of people spend their whole life doing this.
[00:25:06.480 --> 00:25:08.640] You and I have a lot of friends that do this.
[00:25:08.640 --> 00:25:18.320] You build all this self-confidence along the way, but you never have fulfillment because you never feel like you're enough deep down inside.
[00:25:18.320 --> 00:25:27.920] This changed my life because I believed the lie that if I achieve enough, I will finally feel enough.
[00:25:28.560 --> 00:25:33.520] And when you look at the data right now, that 80% of women do not believe they're enough.
[00:25:33.520 --> 00:25:36.960] 75% of female executives deal with imposter syndrome.
[00:25:36.960 --> 00:25:40.960] 73% of men feel inadequate and not enough.
[00:25:40.960 --> 00:25:47.120] Like, I believe this lie: oh, I got to achieve enough, and I've got to please enough people, right?
[00:25:47.120 --> 00:25:49.440] And then I'll feel enough.
[00:25:49.440 --> 00:26:07.040] And after spending decades doing that and still arriving at the next goal, and the next goal, and the next thing the world told me should make me feel like I'm on top of the world, and still arriving feeling empty and not fulfilled, and not enough, not knowing why.
[00:26:07.360 --> 00:26:11.200] And it's because most of my entire life I did the things that only build self-confidence.
[00:26:11.200 --> 00:26:12.720] None of them build self-worth.
[00:26:12.720 --> 00:26:19.600] So, self-confidence for everyone listening, because I thought they were the same thing for the longest time.
[00:26:19.600 --> 00:26:21.040] And again, let me just take a step back.
[00:26:21.040 --> 00:26:23.120] They're both so valuable in our lives.
[00:26:23.120 --> 00:26:24.320] They're both so valuable.
[00:26:24.320 --> 00:26:25.600] They're just very different.
[00:26:25.600 --> 00:26:31.800] Self-confidence, while it is an internal trait, is based largely on the external.
[00:26:29.760 --> 00:26:35.240] Your self-confidence is fragile, it fluctuates.
[00:26:35.560 --> 00:26:46.200] Your self-confidence is how you assess your own skills and abilities, your willingness to try and go for it, how you feel you stack up and compare to others.
[00:26:46.200 --> 00:26:53.800] If you're winning or losing at any moment, like how much of the world's definition of success that you believe that you have.
[00:26:53.800 --> 00:26:58.520] They do studies that show the boxer who wins the match is automatically 30% more confident.
[00:26:58.520 --> 00:27:03.560] Our confidence is volatile and it's fragile and it fluctuates.
[00:27:03.560 --> 00:27:06.920] And it is largely based on what's happening all around you.
[00:27:06.920 --> 00:27:25.400] You know, and when we see these ads or whatever our whole life that says, oh, once you get the dream car, once you get whatever that version is, the house, the dream house, and the certain job title, the certain amount in the bank account, the six-pack abs, whatever it is, when you finally get that thing, you're going to feel enough.
[00:27:25.400 --> 00:27:29.000] And in the pursuit of those things, we build a lot of confidence.
[00:27:29.320 --> 00:27:31.320] But none of them build self-worth.
[00:27:31.320 --> 00:27:41.320] So self-worth is the deep internal knowing that you are worthy of love and belonging exactly as you are.
[00:27:41.320 --> 00:27:49.000] Not as your past or your past mistakes or failures, not as your successes and your achievements, none of that.
[00:27:49.000 --> 00:27:51.560] Like exactly as you are.
[00:27:51.880 --> 00:27:55.480] And your self-worth is rock solid.
[00:27:55.480 --> 00:27:57.160] It becomes your ceiling.
[00:27:57.160 --> 00:27:59.480] Your self-worth becomes your ceiling.
[00:27:59.480 --> 00:28:08.200] And so, and what I want to say quickly is that a lot of people worry, well, if I believe I'm enough as I am, will I lose my ambition?
[00:28:08.200 --> 00:28:09.480] Will I lose my edge?
[00:28:09.480 --> 00:28:28.720] It's like, oh no, actually, actually, the higher your self-worth for me, and you look at all the data, the more ambitious you become because you know, like, oh, even if I go for the thing and fall flat on my face, it might rattle my confidence for a minute, but it cannot touch my self-worth.
[00:28:28.720 --> 00:28:32.880] So you become so much more ambitious, so much more fearless.
[00:28:32.880 --> 00:28:42.640] And the big difference is the higher your self-worth, knowing I am enough as I am, as God made me, like all of that, right?
[00:28:42.640 --> 00:28:50.000] You have this unshakableness to you that isn't fragile based on the external stuff.
[00:28:50.000 --> 00:28:52.240] So in a lot of ways, you become more fearless.
[00:28:52.240 --> 00:29:00.560] And I like to describe it that your self-confidence is like the house you're building with like the rooms and the new art on the wall.
[00:29:00.560 --> 00:29:08.080] And like you continue building this house, but the foundation, your foundation underneath that house is your self-worth.
[00:29:08.080 --> 00:29:14.240] And your house is only as secure as the foundation beneath it.
[00:29:14.240 --> 00:29:16.800] And so both are very important, right?
[00:29:16.800 --> 00:29:22.400] And when we look at how do we get ultimate fulfillment in life, you need self-confidence.
[00:29:22.400 --> 00:29:31.360] You need to be growing in something, which could be growing in faith or growing in a hobby or growing in something you're gardening.
[00:29:31.360 --> 00:29:33.600] It could be anything, but we need to be growing.
[00:29:33.600 --> 00:29:39.360] We need to be building our self-confidence and contributing to something bigger than ourselves.
[00:29:39.360 --> 00:29:45.920] But all of those are multiplied by your level of self-worth to get your level of fulfillment in life.
[00:29:46.480 --> 00:29:48.480] Gosh, Jamie is so good.
[00:29:48.480 --> 00:29:54.320] Okay, in a moment, we'll hear from Vasavi Kumar, which may honestly change the way you speak to yourself forever.
[00:29:54.320 --> 00:29:58.000] But first, we're going to hear about a few brands who help keep this show running.
[00:29:58.000 --> 00:30:04.040] And in the meantime, if someone popped into your mind while listening, hit that share button and send them this episode.
[00:30:04.040 --> 00:30:08.680] These mindset shifts are so much better when we grow through them together.
[00:30:09.960 --> 00:30:18.200] Running a business means wearing every hat, creating content one minute, handling customer service the next, then trying to figure out shipping logistics.
[00:30:18.200 --> 00:30:20.120] It can get overwhelming fast.
[00:30:20.120 --> 00:30:26.280] When you're building your dreams, finding the right tool that not only helps but simplifies everything is a game changer.
[00:30:26.280 --> 00:30:29.960] For millions of businesses, that tool is Shopify.
[00:30:30.600 --> 00:30:39.400] Shopify powers millions of businesses worldwide and 10% of all e-commerce in the U.S., from Gymshark and Mattel to brands just starting out.
[00:30:39.400 --> 00:30:43.800] With hundreds of ready-to-use templates, you can create a store that matches your brand.
[00:30:43.800 --> 00:30:49.480] Shopify's AI tools write product descriptions and even headlines so you can create content faster.
[00:30:49.480 --> 00:30:54.360] Plus, with their built-in email and social tools, it's like having a marketing team in your back pocket.
[00:30:54.360 --> 00:30:59.880] From inventory to shipping to returns, Shopify is the partner every entrepreneur needs.
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[00:31:23.000 --> 00:31:26.680] You know that sinking feeling when you see your latest campaign report?
[00:31:26.680 --> 00:31:30.680] 87% of your budget went to people who would never buy from you?
[00:31:30.680 --> 00:31:36.360] Random scrollers clicking your business course ad, students engaging with your entrepreneur content.
[00:31:36.360 --> 00:31:42.280] You're perfect ad creative about building sustainable income shown to people who aren't even trying to build a business.
[00:31:42.280 --> 00:31:44.440] That's why LinkedIn ads exist.
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[00:32:19.360 --> 00:32:22.160] Just go to linkedin.com/slash goal.
[00:32:22.160 --> 00:32:25.280] That's linkedin.com/slash G-O-A-L.
[00:32:25.280 --> 00:32:27.920] Terms and conditions apply.
[00:32:29.200 --> 00:32:36.560] Last February, when the Minnesota winter felt like it would never end, I looked at my family and I said, that's it, we're going south.
[00:32:36.560 --> 00:32:45.040] So we booked a house on Airbnb with a pool, enough space for each of us to actually get good sleep, and all of the little luxuries we didn't have at home.
[00:32:45.040 --> 00:32:49.680] But what really stuck with me wasn't just the house, it was all these thoughtful touches.
[00:32:49.680 --> 00:32:55.360] Fresh coffee waiting for us, local restaurant recommendations, even pool towels that actually smelled good.
[00:32:55.360 --> 00:32:58.880] Drew and I kept looking at each other like, how did they think of everything?
[00:32:59.280 --> 00:33:01.920] That's when I realized this host was a pro.
[00:33:01.920 --> 00:33:07.440] They had clearly figured out how to make people feel genuinely cared for and not just housed.
[00:33:07.440 --> 00:33:12.800] Now, having been a host myself, I understand how much care it takes to create that kind of experience.
[00:33:12.800 --> 00:33:15.840] The thing is, not every host can always be there in person.
[00:33:15.840 --> 00:33:16.960] Life gets busy.
[00:33:16.960 --> 00:33:21.280] Maybe you're traveling, working remotely, or you've got a second property sitting empty.
[00:33:21.280 --> 00:33:25.840] That is why I love that Airbnb offers tools to help make hosting simpler.
[00:33:25.840 --> 00:33:38.440] With their co-host network, you can partner with experienced local co-hosts who manage the details from guest communication to on-the-ground support so that your space and your guests are cared for even when you can't be there.
[00:33:38.440 --> 00:33:42.600] If hosting has ever felt overwhelming, this makes it easier than ever.
[00:33:42.600 --> 00:33:46.920] Find a co-host now at Airbnb.com/slash host.
[00:33:47.560 --> 00:33:57.000] Now let's hear from Vasevi Kumar, a therapist, speaker, and author who is passionate about helping people speak to themselves with more clarity and compassion.
[00:33:57.000 --> 00:34:05.000] In this clip, Vasevi shares how negative self-talk isn't something we're born with, it's something we learn and something we can unlearn.
[00:34:05.000 --> 00:34:12.760] She also shares a powerful story about how shifting her inner dialogue helped her land the cover of a magazine simply because she asked for it.
[00:34:12.760 --> 00:34:18.120] If you've been holding back your voice, this segment will remind you just how powerful it really is.
[00:34:18.120 --> 00:34:20.040] Let's take a listen.
[00:34:20.360 --> 00:34:28.040] My self-talk, I will say that for most of us, you know, when we're born, we're not born with negative self-talk.
[00:34:28.040 --> 00:34:30.200] We're not born criticizing ourselves.
[00:34:30.200 --> 00:34:31.480] So I want everyone to hear this.
[00:34:31.480 --> 00:34:35.480] A lot of times clients will come to me, people will come to me and they'll be like, what's wrong with me?
[00:34:35.480 --> 00:34:37.000] I'm just so mean to myself.
[00:34:37.000 --> 00:34:43.800] And I'm like, yeah, well, because logically we know that it's not kind to talk to ourselves in that way.
[00:34:43.800 --> 00:34:50.200] But when we are used to hearing things being thrown at us and then we repeat that narrative to ourselves, right?
[00:34:50.200 --> 00:35:05.960] So if someone says to you, you're ugly, and then you believe that, and you say that over and over and over to yourself, you know, at some point, yes, it may have started because someone said that to you, but it is our job as adults to be like, wait a minute, I don't believe that about myself.
[00:35:05.960 --> 00:35:09.640] So, this is where self-talk out loud, talking to yourself out loud comes in.
[00:35:09.640 --> 00:35:11.040] And this is why it's a skill.
[00:35:11.040 --> 00:35:15.360] And anyone can learn to master their self-talk and change their inner conversation.
[00:35:15.360 --> 00:35:17.760] Because let's say you're looking in the mirror, right?
[00:35:14.760 --> 00:35:19.200] And you're now practicing.
[00:35:19.280 --> 00:35:29.280] You're on the say it out loud journey because you've read my book and you're in front of the mirror and you're noticing your self-talk about yourself, but you're saying it out loud this time.
[00:35:29.280 --> 00:35:31.040] You're not keeping that inside.
[00:35:31.040 --> 00:35:34.480] You don't want to pollute your body with those thoughts.
[00:35:34.480 --> 00:35:38.640] You don't want to pollute your creative channel and your mind with mean thoughts about your body.
[00:35:38.640 --> 00:35:45.520] So you stand in front of the mirror and you look at yourself and you say out loud what you're saying about yourself, about your body.
[00:35:45.520 --> 00:35:51.280] And from there, and you can do this in any situation, I just bring up body because that's where my self-talk has really helped me the most.
[00:35:51.280 --> 00:35:51.680] Yep.
[00:35:51.680 --> 00:35:52.640] It's like, oh my God.
[00:35:52.640 --> 00:35:58.240] And that is where my confidence comes from: how I feel about my body and what I say about my body to myself.
[00:35:58.240 --> 00:36:07.600] And so, anybody listening to this, y'all, if you just look at yourself, look at yourself in front of the mirror, I always say the mirror is the most underutilized tool in self-development.
[00:36:07.600 --> 00:36:19.680] Because if you can look at yourself in the mirror and be honest about what you're feeling about yourself and say that out loud, and even then, in that moment of vulnerability, you say to yourself, No, I will not speak to myself in this way.
[00:36:19.680 --> 00:36:21.840] I am beautiful the way that I am.
[00:36:21.840 --> 00:36:22.720] I accept myself.
[00:36:22.720 --> 00:36:24.480] And you may not believe it right away.
[00:36:24.480 --> 00:36:39.120] You may not believe those words, but the more you look to see yourself with love and you lead with love with yourself, the more your self-talk and your mind will become a safe place to be.
[00:36:39.120 --> 00:36:49.680] All of this, Jenna, learning to master your self-talk and being kinder to yourself is all because I want people to feel at home within themselves, in their minds, and in their bodies.
[00:36:49.680 --> 00:36:58.160] The reason why I want you to master your self-talk is because you will confidently show up and boldly ask for what you want.
[00:36:58.160 --> 00:37:05.320] Because think about how many times you have wanted to ask for something, but you didn't because you had voices in your head micromanaging you.
[00:37:05.720 --> 00:37:10.600] When you learn how to talk to yourself, those voices, they're going to become a team player.
[00:37:10.600 --> 00:37:11.800] I have a team in my mind.
[00:37:11.800 --> 00:37:13.800] I'm a coach to all the players in my mind.
[00:37:13.800 --> 00:37:18.120] Those are all the belittling voice, the insecure voice, the really excited voice.
[00:37:18.120 --> 00:37:21.480] You know, think about all these parts of yourself as different team players.
[00:37:21.480 --> 00:37:28.520] Your job is to be the coach and get all these parts of you together to be aligned in the mission that you want to put forth in the world.
[00:37:28.520 --> 00:37:31.320] And so, let me tell you my experience of this.
[00:37:31.320 --> 00:37:35.160] It was last May, May of 2022.
[00:37:35.160 --> 00:37:36.680] I live in Austin, Texas.
[00:37:36.680 --> 00:37:39.800] There's a magazine called the Austin Woman Magazine.
[00:37:39.800 --> 00:37:44.440] And I'd been in there, you know, a few times here or there over the course of the past two years.
[00:37:44.440 --> 00:37:46.280] And I was talking to one of the editors.
[00:37:46.280 --> 00:37:49.080] She was interviewing me for just like a two-page article.
[00:37:49.080 --> 00:37:51.320] I was giving tips on self-talk.
[00:37:51.320 --> 00:37:56.760] And I asked her out loud on the phone, I go, Hey, who's your cover girl for May?
[00:37:56.760 --> 00:37:58.120] She goes, We don't have one.
[00:37:58.120 --> 00:38:00.200] I go, You should put me on the cover.
[00:38:00.200 --> 00:38:01.640] That's just like that.
[00:38:01.640 --> 00:38:03.000] You should put me on the cover.
[00:38:03.000 --> 00:38:05.160] You haven't had any Indian women on the cover.
[00:38:05.160 --> 00:38:07.480] Plus, May is my 40th birthday month.
[00:38:07.480 --> 00:38:09.400] Wouldn't that be awesome?
[00:38:09.400 --> 00:38:14.520] And we can do a whole spread on living your life out loud and allowing yourself to be creatively expressed.
[00:38:14.520 --> 00:38:17.880] And she goes, All right, let me check with my team.
[00:38:17.880 --> 00:38:24.760] And then two weeks later, I get an email that says, How would you like to be the cover of Austin Woman for May of 2022?
[00:38:24.760 --> 00:38:26.280] And I said, Oh my God.
[00:38:26.280 --> 00:38:31.000] And that was for me when I realized I didn't ask her, Can you put me on the cover?
[00:38:31.000 --> 00:38:33.080] I said, You should put me on the cover.
[00:38:33.080 --> 00:38:36.680] Now, I don't know if I would ever do that again, but it was bold, Jenna.
[00:38:36.680 --> 00:38:38.840] It was bold.
[00:38:38.920 --> 00:38:39.720] I'm on the cover.
[00:38:39.720 --> 00:38:41.560] If you go to my Instagram, it's pinned right to the top.
[00:38:41.560 --> 00:38:45.760] I had a full 10-page spread, stylist, everything, cover of Austin Women Magazine.
[00:38:45.760 --> 00:38:49.120] We're in Whole Foods here, there, all throughout Austin, Texas.
[00:38:49.120 --> 00:38:54.080] All because I had the guts to ask, or no, tell you, you should put me on.
[00:38:54.720 --> 00:39:03.520] When you put yourself out there and ask for what you want, this wasn't like when I asked to be on the cover, it wasn't just cool, like, oh, cool, I want to be on the cover and get a 10-page spread.
[00:39:03.520 --> 00:39:05.840] It boils down to one thing, and I want everyone hearing this.
[00:39:06.080 --> 00:39:07.520] Write this down for yourself.
[00:39:07.520 --> 00:39:09.600] You got to value your voice.
[00:39:09.600 --> 00:39:15.840] I asked to be on the cover because I knew I would give a killer interview and I knew my words would set somebody free.
[00:39:15.840 --> 00:39:22.560] I value my words, and that goes into your question, Jenna, about trusting, just like trusting and having that inner knowing.
[00:39:22.560 --> 00:39:40.880] I made a promise to God in my darkest of days that if I were to sober up and stay sober and really get my freaking life back in order and really just start to trust and be obedient to the messages that I was getting from my God, that I would pay it forward.
[00:39:40.880 --> 00:39:42.240] And that's what I promised.
[00:39:42.240 --> 00:39:46.160] I made a promise that I would pay it forward and help somebody else in need.
[00:39:46.160 --> 00:39:48.000] So I trust that part of me.
[00:39:48.000 --> 00:39:49.600] I made a promise to myself.
[00:39:49.600 --> 00:39:53.360] I made a promise to God that I would get through this and I would help another person.
[00:39:53.360 --> 00:39:56.720] So I'm just, I'm just operating from that place.
[00:39:56.720 --> 00:40:14.720] And I trust that part of myself because I have evidence that when I surrender and accept my reality and also do the work to come back home to myself and continue to surrender day to day, but also be wildly responsible for my experience in life, that I can create anything.
[00:40:14.720 --> 00:40:19.920] And now that I know that and I really know that and I live that and I believe that, and not every day is easy.
[00:40:19.920 --> 00:40:21.680] Please catch me a week before my period.
[00:40:21.680 --> 00:40:29.960] I will not be saying the same thing, but I know how to bounce back, you know, and I believe that it is my duty to pay it forward and help others.
[00:40:29.960 --> 00:40:31.560] And I trust that.
[00:40:31.560 --> 00:40:32.440] That's it.
[00:40:29.680 --> 00:40:33.720] I just trust it.
[00:40:34.600 --> 00:40:41.240] Up next is Jen Gottlieb, author, speaker, and the queen of helping people step into the spotlight with confidence.
[00:40:41.240 --> 00:40:46.520] But what I love most about Jen is that she doesn't just talk about visibility from a branding standpoint.
[00:40:46.520 --> 00:40:49.880] She gets real about what it means to be truly seen.
[00:40:49.880 --> 00:41:00.440] In this clip, Jen shares how imposter syndrome, fear, and comparison show up even for the most confident people, and how building your confidence is actually about building trust with yourself.
[00:41:00.440 --> 00:41:03.880] Her tool for doing that, you'll want to start using it immediately.
[00:41:03.880 --> 00:41:05.240] Here's Jen.
[00:41:05.880 --> 00:41:22.360] Okay, so the first thing I want to do is like tell everybody, if you're having imposter syndrome in any moment of your life and you feel like you're the only one, please remove that from your brain right now because I talk to a lot of really successful people, people that I look up to that are out there that are building brands that look so unbelievably confident.
[00:41:22.360 --> 00:41:25.080] And every single person that I talk to, I'm like, do you have imposter syndrome?
[00:41:25.080 --> 00:41:25.480] Yeah.
[00:41:25.480 --> 00:41:26.840] Do you experience fear?
[00:41:26.840 --> 00:41:28.040] Do you experience not feeling worthy?
[00:41:28.040 --> 00:41:28.920] Do you experience not feeling good?
[00:41:29.240 --> 00:41:30.200] Every single one of them.
[00:41:30.200 --> 00:41:31.400] Yes, all the time.
[00:41:31.400 --> 00:41:33.800] And I'm like, does it ever go away?
[00:41:33.800 --> 00:41:35.960] And they all always say to me the exact same thing, John.
[00:41:36.120 --> 00:41:40.040] Yeah, no, you just get better at like doing things with it there anyway.
[00:41:40.040 --> 00:41:42.760] And in the book, I talk about the symptoms of fear.
[00:41:42.760 --> 00:41:47.880] And sometimes we can experience fear as like actual anxiety and the way that we feel it in our body.
[00:41:47.880 --> 00:41:52.040] And like, you know, when you're, when your heart's pounding and your palms are sweating and you feel afraid.
[00:41:52.040 --> 00:42:04.920] And sometimes we can experience fear as one of its symptoms where it's really sneaky and it sneaks in and it disguises itself as other things like imposter syndrome or perfectionism, or analysis paralysis, or comparisonitis.
[00:42:04.920 --> 00:42:11.640] All of these different emotions that a lot of us entrepreneurs and business builders are people that are building a brand experience on the regular, and we think, oh, I'm not good enough.
[00:42:11.640 --> 00:42:13.800] So I should just not do this right now, right?
[00:42:13.800 --> 00:42:14.880] I'm not good enough to be here.
[00:42:14.880 --> 00:42:17.920] Maybe they'll all realize that I don't really know what I'm talking about.
[00:42:17.920 --> 00:42:20.320] Or I'm not gonna post that because it's not perfect.
[00:42:14.680 --> 00:42:20.720] I'll wait.
[00:42:20.880 --> 00:42:22.480] I'll wait, maybe tomorrow it'll be better.
[00:42:22.480 --> 00:42:23.680] Maybe tomorrow it'll be perfect.
[00:42:23.680 --> 00:42:25.120] And I'll post the tomorrow.
[00:42:25.120 --> 00:42:26.560] I'll start tomorrow.
[00:42:26.560 --> 00:42:28.720] And these are all lies that fear tells us.
[00:42:28.720 --> 00:42:32.480] All of these symptoms, like imposter syndrome, is a classic one.
[00:42:32.480 --> 00:42:34.800] And it always is there with me.
[00:42:34.800 --> 00:42:42.320] Like, even during this book launch, Jenna, like a day doesn't go by where I don't feel, oh my gosh, like, am I good enough to be here?
[00:42:42.320 --> 00:42:48.400] But the cool thing is, is that we have tools that we can use to help us move through imposter syndrome when it hits.
[00:42:48.400 --> 00:42:49.840] And I've got a really good one for you.
[00:42:49.840 --> 00:42:51.040] Yeah, share it.
[00:42:51.040 --> 00:42:51.680] Okay.
[00:42:51.680 --> 00:42:52.080] All right.
[00:42:52.080 --> 00:42:57.040] So, in the book, the third chapter of the book is called This Little List Will Change Your Life.
[00:42:57.360 --> 00:43:03.040] And I know, Jenna, and I know us and a lot of our friends also experience this imposter syndrome.
[00:43:03.040 --> 00:43:08.640] And I built this tool that I'm about to share with you through helping out one of my friends, and I totally created it by accident.
[00:43:08.640 --> 00:43:11.840] So I want you, everyone that's listening, just put yourself in this position right now.
[00:43:11.840 --> 00:43:15.680] I know you've had this conversation with a friend if you're building a business and you have a business bestie.
[00:43:15.680 --> 00:43:19.360] So I was on the phone with my friend and she was like going to launch this product for the very first time.
[00:43:19.360 --> 00:43:25.440] And she was having massive imposter syndrome on just finally pressing go and releasing it and announcing it to the world.
[00:43:25.440 --> 00:43:26.960] And she was like, I can't do it.
[00:43:26.960 --> 00:43:27.600] I'm going to wait.
[00:43:27.600 --> 00:43:28.560] I think I'm going to wait a month.
[00:43:28.560 --> 00:43:29.200] It's not good enough.
[00:43:29.200 --> 00:43:30.240] It's not good enough.
[00:43:30.240 --> 00:43:31.440] Like, who am I to be doing this?
[00:43:31.440 --> 00:43:33.360] And I'm like, um, her name's Tori.
[00:43:33.360 --> 00:43:35.680] I was like, Tori, I think we need to pause right now.
[00:43:35.680 --> 00:43:39.840] And I think you need to just remember how much of a badass you really are.
[00:43:40.160 --> 00:43:41.680] And she's like, okay, what do you mean?
[00:43:41.680 --> 00:43:45.760] I'm like, why don't we just make a list of all of the moments in your life that like you were a badass?
[00:43:45.760 --> 00:43:47.920] And so she starts writing down all of these things.
[00:43:47.920 --> 00:43:48.240] Yeah.
[00:43:48.240 --> 00:43:48.960] I'm like, write it down.
[00:43:48.960 --> 00:43:50.400] She's like, oh, I ran a marathon.
[00:43:50.400 --> 00:43:50.800] Okay.
[00:43:50.800 --> 00:43:53.200] She's like, I moved to New York City alone when I was 20.
[00:43:53.200 --> 00:43:54.240] And I'm like, write that down.
[00:43:54.240 --> 00:43:56.960] She's like, oh, and I was like, wait, how much did you charge for your first product?
[00:43:56.960 --> 00:43:58.480] Did you make six figures on that launch?
[00:43:58.480 --> 00:43:59.560] Yes, like all these things.
[00:43:59.560 --> 00:44:00.520] And she starts writing them down.
[00:44:00.520 --> 00:44:03.640] I'm like, all right, let's play a game.
[00:44:03.640 --> 00:44:07.080] Why don't you read this list out loud as if you're reading it about somebody else?
[00:44:07.400 --> 00:44:08.840] No, read the list.
[00:44:08.840 --> 00:44:09.800] And she starts reading it.
[00:44:09.880 --> 00:44:16.920] I'm like, all right, now, if this was another person, would you tell this other person that they're not worthy of launching this course, of doing this now?
[00:44:17.240 --> 00:44:19.800] And she's like, no, Jen, they're awesome.
[00:44:19.800 --> 00:44:21.720] I was like, okay, well, that's you.
[00:44:22.040 --> 00:44:35.640] And so what I find happens why we experience imposter syndrome a lot of the time is because we spend so much time on the internet comparing our chapter one to somebody else's chapter 20, comparing our real life to somebody else's highlight reel, somebody else's finished product, and we start to feel not good enough.
[00:44:35.640 --> 00:44:38.440] We start to feel, forget how amazing we are.
[00:44:38.440 --> 00:44:41.320] So sometimes we just need to remember.
[00:44:41.320 --> 00:44:45.640] And the badass list is my tool that I go back to every single day.
[00:44:45.640 --> 00:44:46.600] I did it last night.
[00:44:46.600 --> 00:44:51.560] I keep it in my phone and it's simply a list of all the moments in my life where I felt amazing about myself.
[00:44:51.560 --> 00:44:55.800] And some of them are really small, tiny moments, like private moments with my family.
[00:44:55.800 --> 00:44:57.400] Some of them are big business moments.
[00:44:57.400 --> 00:44:59.960] Some of them are moments that only I know about.
[00:45:00.360 --> 00:45:11.000] But whenever I'm feeling like I can't go into a situation or I can't launch something or I can't be seen or I can't put something out there because I'm not good enough, I just read that list out loud as if it's somebody else.
[00:45:11.320 --> 00:45:13.960] And it's like, oh, is this person worthy of doing this thing?
[00:45:14.520 --> 00:45:17.720] Yeah, no, this person's a badass and this is me.
[00:45:18.040 --> 00:45:23.080] So I think you need to go just like do the damn thing, even if you feel like an imposter, because this is proof that you are not.
[00:45:23.080 --> 00:45:29.720] So if you don't feel confident, I want you to listen and really listen good because confidence can be created.
[00:45:29.720 --> 00:45:34.120] It actually can be created over time, but it does take a little bit of discomfort.
[00:45:34.120 --> 00:45:36.840] It does take experiencing the hard thing.
[00:45:36.840 --> 00:45:41.080] So, the confidence continuum is all about taking action with fear there anyway.
[00:45:41.080 --> 00:45:42.280] You're going to feel the fear.
[00:45:42.280 --> 00:45:44.600] It's going to be scary to do the thing that you don't wanna do.
[00:45:44.800 --> 00:45:57.680] But every single time you move through and you do the thing with fear there anyway, and you get to the other side and you stick to the commitment you made with yourself, no matter how difficult it was, or how scary or how painful, and you're on the other side, you're like, whoa, I didn't die, I just did that.
[00:45:57.680 --> 00:45:59.440] You're putting another coin in your confidence bank.
[00:45:59.440 --> 00:46:05.760] You're becoming more confident because the next time you go to do something scary, you have proof that you can do it and you have trust.
[00:46:05.760 --> 00:46:07.200] All confidence is self-trust.
[00:46:07.200 --> 00:46:08.560] It's trust that you did it before.
[00:46:08.560 --> 00:46:13.280] So, with, for instance, with these Instagram lives, I help people be seen online specifically.
[00:46:13.280 --> 00:46:15.200] That's like really what my business does.
[00:46:15.200 --> 00:46:17.040] And everyone's like, I'm too scared to go live.
[00:46:17.040 --> 00:46:19.200] I'm too scared to make a video.
[00:46:19.520 --> 00:46:22.320] All you got to do is do the hard thing once.
[00:46:22.320 --> 00:46:26.240] And once you do the hard thing once, you never have to do that first time ever again.
[00:46:26.640 --> 00:46:29.360] And after you've done that first time, you're going to celebrate that win.
[00:46:29.360 --> 00:46:31.120] So, make sure you don't skip the celebration.
[00:46:31.120 --> 00:46:32.560] Make sure you have a celebration with yourself.
[00:46:32.560 --> 00:46:33.600] Whoa, I did it.
[00:46:33.680 --> 00:46:35.520] Gives you the dopamine, the serotonin.
[00:46:35.520 --> 00:46:36.080] Okay, you did it.
[00:46:36.080 --> 00:46:36.560] You went live.
[00:46:36.560 --> 00:46:37.920] Maybe it was only for three minutes.
[00:46:37.920 --> 00:46:40.160] And maybe only two people joined, but that's okay.
[00:46:40.160 --> 00:46:41.120] You still did it.
[00:46:41.120 --> 00:46:46.880] So, what that's going to do is that's going to give you that little bit of motivation and confidence to do it the next time.
[00:46:46.880 --> 00:46:49.920] The next time is still going to be hard, but it's going to be a little easier than the first time.
[00:46:49.920 --> 00:46:51.120] So, then you do it the next time.
[00:46:51.120 --> 00:46:51.680] You take action.
[00:46:51.680 --> 00:46:52.800] Fear is still going to be there.
[00:46:52.880 --> 00:46:53.520] You got to do it.
[00:46:53.520 --> 00:46:55.360] And you do it and it's a little easier.
[00:46:55.360 --> 00:46:57.360] And maybe that next time you get a little bigger win.
[00:46:57.360 --> 00:46:59.680] Maybe next time six people join.
[00:46:59.680 --> 00:47:03.440] And maybe next time somebody DMs you after and they're like, wow, that was amazing.
[00:47:03.440 --> 00:47:05.120] I really want to talk to you about working with you.
[00:47:05.120 --> 00:47:06.320] How can I work with you?
[00:47:06.320 --> 00:47:07.840] Whoa, big win.
[00:47:07.840 --> 00:47:08.720] Holy crap.
[00:47:08.720 --> 00:47:09.520] Now you're trained.
[00:47:09.680 --> 00:47:12.080] When I go live, something really cool could happen.
[00:47:12.080 --> 00:47:17.120] Then you're going to be way more confident to do it the next time because you know you've done it twice now.
[00:47:17.120 --> 00:47:18.400] You know that you're not going to die.
[00:47:18.400 --> 00:47:21.840] You know that that discomfort's temporary and you know that a good thing happens on the other side.
[00:47:21.840 --> 00:47:22.640] It's training.
[00:47:22.640 --> 00:47:28.240] It's like going to the gym and putting in the reps and working out those muscles so you can get stronger.
[00:47:28.240 --> 00:47:32.360] And now I do it every day and it's not a big deal and I'm confident, but it didn't start that way.
[00:47:32.680 --> 00:47:39.640] So I want everyone that's listening to please know that confidence is built from consistently sticking with the commitments you make with yourself.
[00:47:39.640 --> 00:47:40.360] Yes.
[00:47:40.360 --> 00:47:46.040] Every time you say you're going to do something and you don't do it, you're telling your subconscious that you can't trust yourself to follow through.
[00:47:46.360 --> 00:47:51.000] But every single time that you do, tell yourself, all right, I'm going to do this today.
[00:47:51.000 --> 00:47:55.480] And you follow through and you do it, even though it was hard or it was scary or painful or it sucked.
[00:47:55.480 --> 00:47:59.400] But you get to your bed that night because we're all going to make it to our bed every single night.
[00:47:59.400 --> 00:48:01.960] And you can be in your bed and you can be like, wow, I did that today.
[00:48:01.960 --> 00:48:02.600] Yeah.
[00:48:02.600 --> 00:48:04.040] That's boom, cha-ching.
[00:48:04.040 --> 00:48:07.000] More coins, more coins in your confidence bank.
[00:48:07.320 --> 00:48:10.280] Oh my gosh, aren't you feeling so fired up right now?
[00:48:10.280 --> 00:48:16.680] Seriously, if your mindset wasn't already shifting before, I bet something cracked open during one of those clips.
[00:48:16.680 --> 00:48:23.240] Maybe it was Mel's reminder to let them think what they want or Jamie's truth bomb about self-worth being your ceiling.
[00:48:23.240 --> 00:48:29.560] Maybe it was Vasavi giving you permission to own your voice or Trent reminding you that peace is the real flex.
[00:48:29.560 --> 00:48:36.360] Or maybe, like Jen said, you're just ready to start putting coins in your confidence bank, one bold move at a time.
[00:48:36.360 --> 00:48:41.960] Wherever today's episode met you, I hope you walk away with one big mindset shift you're ready to live out.
[00:48:41.960 --> 00:48:47.880] And if you've loved this format of hearing from some of our most powerful past guests all in one place, let me know.
[00:48:47.880 --> 00:48:54.760] Send me a DM, leave a review, or better yet, hit that follow button on your podcast app so that you never miss another episode.
[00:48:54.760 --> 00:49:02.040] We've got more incredible voices, more honest conversations, and more mindset magic coming your way every single week.
[00:49:02.040 --> 00:49:02.920] You've got this.
[00:49:02.920 --> 00:49:04.680] I am always cheering you on.
[00:49:04.680 --> 00:49:09.720] And of course, until next time, Gold Diggers, keep on digging your biggest goals.
[00:49:10.360 --> 00:49:14.040] Thanks for pulling up a seat for another episode of the Gold Digger Podcast.
[00:49:14.040 --> 00:49:23.440] I hope today's episode filled you with inspiration, gave you information that you can turn into action, and realigned you with your true north in life and business.
[00:49:23.440 --> 00:49:34.080] If you've enjoyed today's episode, head on over to golddiggerpodcast.com for today's show notes, discount codes for our sponsors, freebies to fuel your results, and so much more.
[00:49:34.080 --> 00:49:38.640] And if you haven't yet, make sure you're subscribed so that you never miss a future show.
[00:49:38.640 --> 00:49:41.040] We'll see you next time, Gold Diggers.