Dark History

191: Chaos, Bloopers, and the most unhinged things Bailey said all year!

December 3, 2025

Key Takeaways Copied to clipboard!

  • Episode 191 of Dark History, "Chaos, Bloopers, and the most unhinged things Bailey said all year!," is a special 'Joanie Awards' finale celebrating the messiest and most iconic moments from Season Four. 
  • The episode features awards recognizing memorable segments, including musical moments (won by Eartha Kitt), wardrobe malfunctions (won by the Alaska Triangle episode), and impressions (won by the Walmart episode). 
  • Bailey Sarian shares personal anecdotes and behind-the-scenes bloopers, such as her struggles with certain pronunciations and the chaos caused by shedding mittens during filming. 

Segments

Episode Introduction and Joanie Awards
Copied to clipboard!
(00:01:00)
  • Key Takeaway: Season Four of Dark History covered diverse topics including the sex lives of eunuchs, horny nuns, Teapot Dome, and the origins of vaping.
  • Summary: The fourth and potentially final Joanie Awards episode celebrates the best and messiest moments of Season Four. Topics covered during the season included historical figures, corporate investigations like Walmart, and bizarre inventions. The hosts gathered favorite moments, including never-before-seen behind-the-scenes footage for the awards.
Musical Excellence Award
Copied to clipboard!
(00:02:29)
  • Key Takeaway: The Triple Threat Award for Musical Excellence was awarded to the Dark History of Eartha Kitt, whose life spanned traumatic childhood to iconic performer status.
  • Summary: Bailey Sarian presented the Triple Threat Award for Musical Excellence, noting her own tendency to break into song. Nominees included segments on vampires, Hillary Duff, and Eartha Kitt. Eartha Kitt won for her complex life story, which included becoming a famous cabaret performer and a blacklisted actress before being welcomed back to Hollywood.
Wardrobe Malfunction Award
Copied to clipboard!
(00:06:37)
  • Key Takeaway: The award for Best Wardrobe Malfunction went to the Alaska Triangle episode due to the excessive shedding of Bailey’s costume mittens.
  • Summary: This award recognized on-screen mishaps, with nominees including Julius Caesar’s costume, deodorant marks from the Walmart episode, and the shedding mittens from the Alaska Triangle segment. The mittens caused significant disruption, leading Bailey to give them a one-star review on Amazon. The Alaska Triangle episode also featured discussions on disappearances and underground pyramids.
Outstanding Impressions Award
Copied to clipboard!
(00:10:32)
  • Key Takeaway: The Outstanding Achievement in Impressions Award was won by the Walmart impression, specifically the Don Corleone parody.
  • Summary: Bailey Sarian presented the award for impressions, highlighting her method acting tendencies when covering interesting characters. Nominees included impressions related to bodybuilding, witches, weird presidents, and Eartha Kitt. The winner was the Walmart segment, where Bailey used a Godfather impression to discuss the corporation’s alleged union-busting and low wages.
Best Historical Improvisation
Copied to clipboard!
(00:16:17)
  • Key Takeaway: The award for Best Improvisation of a Historical Object was given to the Julius Caesar segment for the improvised origin story of Little Caesar’s Pizza.
  • Summary: This award recognized the editors’ work in bringing on-screen improvisations to life, with nominees including pirate dialogue and churning butter. The Julius Caesar segment won after Bailey improvised that Caesar, upon being stabbed, uttered “Pizza, pizza,” leading to the creation of Little Caesar’s. The episode also revealed Caesar’s messy personal life, including alleged affairs and his self-appointment as Dictator for Life.
Best Britney Jean Impression
Copied to clipboard!
(00:19:50)
  • Key Takeaway: The BJ Award for Best Britney Jean Impression was awarded to the Conservatorships segment, which examined control over individuals like Wendy Williams, Francis Farmer, and Britney Spears.
  • Summary: Bailey Sarian, a self-proclaimed fan of Britney Spears, presented the award based on her own impressions. Nominees included impressions related to conservatorships, Las Vegas, and Eartha Kitt. The Conservatorships segment explored how easily one person or institution can seize control over another’s life.
Creative Pronunciation Award
Copied to clipboard!
(00:21:40)
  • Key Takeaway: The Creative Pronunciation Award was won by the Alaska Triangle episode due to Bailey’s difficulty pronouncing ‘auroral’ and ‘HMG’ (human menopausal gonadotropin).
  • Summary: This award recognized Bailey’s struggles with certain words due to a childhood speech impediment, leading her to creatively substitute words during filming. Nominees included pronunciations from the Air Travel, Momsters, and Swarovski segments. The Alaska Triangle segment won for the repeated difficulty in pronouncing ‘auroral’ related to the weather control theories discussed.
TMI Award for Unhinged Moments
Copied to clipboard!
(00:32:19)
  • Key Takeaway: The TMI Award for things that probably should not have been filmed was won by the Kellogg segment detailing high school teacher’s mayonnaise consumption and inappropriate discussions.
  • Summary: This award recognized overly shared or inappropriate moments from the season. Nominees included Bailey’s alleged DVD return scheme at Walmart, her Vegas stories, and a history teacher who ate mayonnaise from a jar in class. The Kellogg segment won because the teacher’s behavior, including discussing pornography, was deemed the most unhinged revelation.
Best User Comment Award
Copied to clipboard!
(00:37:04)
  • Key Takeaway: The Joni Fan Award for Best User Comment went to Dylan Fell’s marriage proposal from the Vaping episode, prompting a discussion on necessary relationship standards.
  • Summary: This segment highlighted audience engagement, with nominees based on comments that sent Bailey down mental rabbit holes. Dylan Fell asked Bailey to marry him, leading her to list essential criteria like credit score, 401k, and physical capability. The discussion concluded that listeners should not settle in relationships and must establish clear standards.