Debug Information
Processing Details
- VTT File: ADL5102362214.vtt
- Processing Time: September 11, 2025 at 01:57 PM
- Total Chunks: 2
- Transcript Length: 87,301 characters
- Caption Count: 1,018 captions
Prompts Used
Prompt 1: Context Setup
You are an expert data extractor tasked with analyzing a podcast transcript.
I will provide you with part 1 of 2 from a podcast transcript.
I will then ask you to extract different types of information from this content in subsequent messages. Please confirm you have received and understood the transcript content.
Transcript section:
[00:00:00.960 --> 00:00:07.200] A mochi moment from Mark, who writes, I just want to thank you for making GOP1s affordable.
[00:00:07.200 --> 00:00:12.160] What would have been over $1,000 a month is just $99 a month with Mochi.
[00:00:12.160 --> 00:00:14.640] Money shouldn't be a barrier to healthy weight.
[00:00:14.640 --> 00:00:17.920] Three months in, and I have smaller jeans and a bigger wallet.
[00:00:17.920 --> 00:00:19.120] You're the best.
[00:00:19.120 --> 00:00:20.240] Thanks, Mark.
[00:00:20.240 --> 00:00:23.120] I'm Myra Ameth, founder of Mochi Health.
[00:00:23.120 --> 00:00:27.040] To find your Mochi Moment, visit joinmochi.com.
[00:00:27.040 --> 00:00:30.240] Mark is a mochi member compensated for his story.
[00:00:30.560 --> 00:00:34.640] Taking on a DIY job around the house is the ultimate summer project.
[00:00:34.640 --> 00:00:42.480] But if your DIY home security system is a beware of dog sign, when your real pet is Princess the Cat, that's safe-ish.
[00:00:42.480 --> 00:00:47.200] To be actually safe, help protect your home with a DIY system from ADT.
[00:00:47.200 --> 00:00:52.080] It's easy to install and gives you virtual assistance from ADT's technical support team.
[00:00:52.080 --> 00:00:55.840] Best of all, you can tell everyone in the neighborhood you set it up yourself.
[00:00:55.840 --> 00:00:58.640] Don't settle for safe-ish this summer.
[00:00:58.640 --> 00:01:00.880] DIY with ADT instead.
[00:01:00.880 --> 00:01:04.320] Visit ADT.com to learn more.
[00:01:13.280 --> 00:01:20.640] Hi, I'm Sonara Madani, a mom of two, daughter of an immigrant, and an unlikely entrepreneur who built a billion-dollar business.
[00:01:20.640 --> 00:01:22.160] Yes, billion.
[00:01:22.160 --> 00:01:25.520] Now I'm doing it again and building my second unicorn, work.
[00:01:26.240 --> 00:01:33.120] Shockingly, less than 2% of female founders ever reach $1 million in revenue, and I'm on a mission to change that.
[00:01:33.120 --> 00:01:39.280] At CEO School, we mentor thousands of women to help them level up in business and in life.
[00:01:39.280 --> 00:01:45.440] We believe that you deserve to have it all because honestly, nothing bad happens when women make more money.
[00:01:45.440 --> 00:01:46.160] More money.
[00:01:46.160 --> 00:01:49.280] Grab a seat because class is officially in session.
[00:01:49.280 --> 00:01:51.840] Welcome to CEO School.
[00:01:54.080 --> 00:01:54.880] Hi, everyone.
[00:01:54.880 --> 00:01:56.720] Welcome back to the CEO School podcast.
[00:01:56.720 --> 00:02:07.880] I'm your host, Sonarama Madani, and we are here in Orlando, Florida, which we're always here in Orlando, Florida, so I don't know why I'm saying that, but we are here live from Millionaire Founders Club Conference.
[00:02:07.880 --> 00:02:14.120] It is our spring retreat, and we just finished an incredible session and keynote for my dear friend, Dr.
[00:02:14.120 --> 00:02:17.160] Nita Bouchon, which you know her.
[00:02:17.160 --> 00:02:18.360] She's been on the show.
[00:02:18.360 --> 00:02:21.240] Her book, That Sucked, Now What?
[00:02:21.960 --> 00:02:25.240] We had you on the show a couple years ago when your book launched.
[00:02:25.240 --> 00:02:29.080] I've been on your show, and you just finished the most phenomenal, phenomenal keynote.
[00:02:29.080 --> 00:02:34.040] So I want to bring you guys behind the scenes of the conversations that we're having with these incredible.
[00:02:34.040 --> 00:02:37.800] There's about 107-plus-figure CEOs here.
[00:02:37.800 --> 00:02:41.800] Everyone is just so heartfelt, so vulnerable.
[00:02:41.800 --> 00:02:44.760] The conversations are real and happening.
[00:02:44.760 --> 00:02:48.920] And we decided, why not bring it live to all of you?
[00:02:48.920 --> 00:02:49.400] So, Dr.
[00:02:49.400 --> 00:02:51.080] Anita just got off stage.
[00:02:51.080 --> 00:02:54.280] We pulled her aside, and I'm just so excited to have you.
[00:02:54.280 --> 00:03:04.040] Oh my gosh, I am, I just wanted to say, like, yesterday, when I walked into the room, obviously I was so late, and I was discombobulated.
[00:03:04.040 --> 00:03:05.640] Well, she just flew in from Dubai, y'all.
[00:03:05.640 --> 00:03:09.160] So, like, okay, like literally, you flew in from halfway across the world.
[00:03:09.160 --> 00:03:09.800] They're just insane.
[00:03:10.600 --> 00:03:12.520] That's how cool, like, girl friendships are.
[00:03:13.000 --> 00:03:14.200] This is what it is.
[00:03:14.200 --> 00:03:18.680] And to just be greeted with so much warmth, and everyone's introducing themselves.
[00:03:18.680 --> 00:03:22.120] And I was like, oh my gosh, okay, I've got to get in my flow.
[00:03:22.440 --> 00:03:23.960] Can't be jet lagged right now.
[00:03:23.960 --> 00:03:30.840] But the amount of warmth and the fact that you know everyone's story so close, like this is the beauty of community.
[00:03:30.840 --> 00:03:31.720] And this is the beauty.
[00:03:31.720 --> 00:03:35.320] And not just any community, though, but like everyone is so badass.
[00:03:35.320 --> 00:03:37.400] Everyone is so down to earth.
[00:03:37.400 --> 00:03:41.400] Everyone just leads with their heart, but you know, they're baddies and whatever they're doing.
[00:03:41.400 --> 00:03:43.080] And then they're fabulous too.
[00:03:43.080 --> 00:03:47.680] And then they, you know, they're fashionistas, and some of many of them are mamas.
[00:03:47.840 --> 00:03:55.040] And so I'm like, wow, to be greeted like that because not, and I share this on stage, not every room is like that.
[00:03:55.040 --> 00:03:59.840] And you and I have both, you know, been in a lot of rooms, been in a lot of rooms, talked about those things.
[00:03:59.840 --> 00:04:05.600] We've even shared like why is it that sometimes you go into a room and you don't feel safe.
[00:04:05.600 --> 00:04:07.520] But I do want to say it's a testament to you.
[00:04:07.520 --> 00:04:08.640] Oh, it really is.
[00:04:08.640 --> 00:04:20.640] It's a testament to your bigness, but you're also like you're walking the talk and everyone is there because they feel that they get inspired by it.
[00:04:20.640 --> 00:04:22.640] You're just changing that.
[00:04:22.640 --> 00:04:30.880] So if you aren't in, this is not a plug for Millionaire Founders Club, but I truly, and I'm a community builder as well.
[00:04:30.880 --> 00:04:32.400] And so I see you.
[00:04:32.400 --> 00:04:34.240] And I see the big part.
[00:04:34.560 --> 00:04:35.040] Thank you.
[00:04:35.040 --> 00:04:39.120] It means a lot coming from you because I know how special your community is.
[00:04:39.120 --> 00:04:40.480] And it does.
[00:04:40.480 --> 00:04:42.800] I really just, I feel so proud of this group.
[00:04:42.800 --> 00:04:45.360] This has been a labor of love.
[00:04:45.360 --> 00:04:47.840] Like anything, whenever you build anything, it's a labor of love.
[00:04:47.840 --> 00:04:53.760] But the one thing that I always want people to feel, and I even try to do that for the show, like I want, and that's why it's my home.
[00:04:53.760 --> 00:04:55.760] Like I want you to feel like you're coming home.
[00:04:55.760 --> 00:04:57.680] Like this is a safe space.
[00:04:57.680 --> 00:05:01.920] Like this is friends having chai, which is like what we're literally what we're doing.
[00:05:01.920 --> 00:05:07.360] Having tea, having coffee, having a glass of wine, having whatever, having a tonic, like whatever works for you.
[00:05:07.360 --> 00:05:12.240] But you're welcome into this space and everybody has a seat at the table.
[00:05:12.240 --> 00:05:19.360] And the table is big enough for all of us and it's diverse and it's open and we are truly learning and growing from each other.
[00:05:19.360 --> 00:05:26.800] And this group of MFC started because I really truly felt like I wanted a place to have my own peer group.
[00:05:26.800 --> 00:05:32.200] And I didn't want to have to pay massive amounts to pay for, like, to like pay for friends.
[00:05:32.200 --> 00:05:32.520] Yeah.
[00:05:32.520 --> 00:05:32.760] Right?
[00:05:29.760 --> 00:05:33.640] Like I wanted to learn.
[00:05:33.800 --> 00:05:38.200] I wanted to have a space where we can get together, where it was accessible.
[00:05:38.200 --> 00:05:42.440] And I wanted to have like conversations that were beyond just.
[00:05:42.760 --> 00:05:45.320] you know, beyond just business too.
[00:05:45.320 --> 00:05:49.400] So there's like a point in business and they're mostly there's business, there's business scale.
[00:05:49.400 --> 00:06:07.160] But once you're kind of past the, you know, seven figure mark or the multi-seven figure mark, you're trying, the conversations are also about lifestyle and wealth creation and time freedom and just so many other things that I wasn't getting in some of my, like for sure in the tech spaces and the bro spaces.
[00:06:07.160 --> 00:06:15.240] But even as part of like some of the other women's groups, like I just sometimes never felt that it was, it was a very similar voice all across the table.
[00:06:15.240 --> 00:06:20.600] And I love learning from all different kinds of industries or art because there's so much happening across it.
[00:06:20.600 --> 00:06:21.080] Totally.
[00:06:21.080 --> 00:06:27.640] And I feel like a lot of those, like you say, like the challenges, the struggles are all the same.
[00:06:27.640 --> 00:06:28.040] Yes.
[00:06:28.040 --> 00:06:38.440] And I feel like if we aren't kind of open in those communities or if everyone is saying the same thing because they're wearing the mask, they have the filters on, they have the thing that they're...
[00:06:38.520 --> 00:06:39.880] They don't want to share because it's competitive.
[00:06:39.880 --> 00:06:41.000] It's either competitive, right?
[00:06:41.160 --> 00:06:42.200] That was the thing that was happening.
[00:06:42.200 --> 00:06:42.360] Yes.
[00:06:42.680 --> 00:06:52.040] Or they feel like I felt like it was gatekeeping because it was like insecurity of like, well, I'm sharing these vanity metrics, but I don't want to go behind the scenes because it's actually not where it's at.
[00:06:52.040 --> 00:06:55.880] But then it causes the whole group to be like overcompensating.
[00:06:55.880 --> 00:07:07.160] And so there was just, and it's not to discount, I've loved so many rooms that I've been in, but I do feel that because there's like, it's industry agnostic, it's like everyone's still at a certain threshold.
[00:07:07.160 --> 00:07:15.520] However, with that, there's no competitiveness or the lack, there's no point in me not sharing my playbook because there's no competitive nature to it.
[00:07:15.520 --> 00:07:17.360] It's not, it's going to be helpful to you.
[00:07:17.360 --> 00:07:17.680] Right.
[00:07:17.680 --> 00:07:19.680] You know, and so it's just a different conversation.
[00:07:14.920 --> 00:07:20.640] It's so different.
[00:07:20.800 --> 00:07:27.040] And I felt that it was just everything and everyone was just so amazing.
[00:07:27.040 --> 00:07:31.120] And even today on stage, it was like, I think I shared something, one of my slides.
[00:07:31.120 --> 00:07:35.040] I'm like, okay, we got to create the container for safety because we're doing some crazy things.
[00:07:35.040 --> 00:07:36.160] I made you guys scream.
[00:07:36.160 --> 00:07:41.040] Yes, which I'm going to, we're going to, we're going to unpack your section here for these ladies right now.
[00:07:41.040 --> 00:07:51.600] So that was the most uncomfortable thing I have ever done was to scream out loud for 30 straight seconds with everyone like watching.
[00:07:51.600 --> 00:07:52.400] I'm proud of you.
[00:07:52.400 --> 00:07:52.960] I, I.
[00:07:53.600 --> 00:07:56.960] There were a few in the front, and I get always the few in the front that they just they don't.
[00:07:57.200 --> 00:07:57.680] No, no, no.
[00:07:57.840 --> 00:07:58.160] I did.
[00:07:58.160 --> 00:07:58.720] I did it.
[00:07:58.720 --> 00:08:00.080] And it felt really great afterwards.
[00:08:00.400 --> 00:08:01.600] I'm going to unpack that in a second.
[00:08:02.560 --> 00:08:03.760] But actually, I was laughing.
[00:08:04.160 --> 00:08:06.560] Okay, so like I couldn't laugh at the first laughing part.
[00:08:06.560 --> 00:08:06.880] Yes.
[00:08:06.880 --> 00:08:07.920] Well, we're going to unpack it.
[00:08:07.920 --> 00:08:10.480] But I was totally like, as soon as I screamed, then I started laughing.
[00:08:10.480 --> 00:08:12.560] I'm like, there's the laugh that I was looking for in the first session.
[00:08:12.800 --> 00:08:13.280] Yes, of course.
[00:08:13.520 --> 00:08:16.960] Your session, let's just go there because your session was so great.
[00:08:17.200 --> 00:08:18.240] I invited Dr.
[00:08:18.240 --> 00:08:30.160] Nita because you are just, if you don't know who she is, we're going to link the last episode for you so that you can catch up on her story and the book That Sucks Now What.
[00:08:30.400 --> 00:08:35.840] But if you can kind of just take the audience, give us a little like recap and refresher on you've written four books.
[00:08:35.840 --> 00:08:40.480] You have a top, like literally topics, health and wellness.
[00:08:40.480 --> 00:08:42.560] Like literally, you have such a hard category.
[00:08:42.560 --> 00:08:43.680] It's a hard category.
[00:08:43.680 --> 00:08:44.960] I mean, well, we rank.
[00:08:45.120 --> 00:08:45.760] World speaker.
[00:08:45.760 --> 00:08:46.680] I'm going to bring it to you for a speaker.
[00:08:46.800 --> 00:08:47.200] Oh my gosh.
[00:08:47.200 --> 00:08:47.520] Go ahead.
[00:08:47.520 --> 00:08:48.000] Go ahead.
[00:08:48.000 --> 00:08:50.400] Like, literally, world-renowned speaker.
[00:08:50.400 --> 00:08:52.240] You own multiple businesses.
[00:08:52.240 --> 00:08:54.720] You are the creator of a health institute.
[00:08:54.720 --> 00:09:04.120] You've certified 3,000 women and coaches to help their communities with health and wellness and Dharma, the Dharma Institute.
[00:08:59.840 --> 00:09:06.120] You've literally accomplished so much.
[00:09:06.440 --> 00:09:09.480] And your biggest accomplishment is that you're a mom of two.
[00:09:09.640 --> 00:09:11.880] Oh, you are the sweetest mom of two.
[00:09:11.880 --> 00:09:13.720] And you are, she is such.
[00:09:14.040 --> 00:09:16.920] We've been insta friends for the last several years.
[00:09:16.920 --> 00:09:17.320] We have.
[00:09:17.320 --> 00:09:20.520] But she is that insta friend that she used to live in Austin.
[00:09:20.520 --> 00:09:23.800] And I go down to Austin every year for South by Southwest.
[00:09:23.800 --> 00:09:31.000] She learned that and literally opened up her home to me to say, I'm actually out of town, but don't book a hotel.
[00:09:31.000 --> 00:09:32.200] Come stay with me.
[00:09:32.200 --> 00:09:33.880] And I'll catch you for like 10 minutes.
[00:09:33.880 --> 00:09:37.160] And then you can stay and like, you know, sleep in my bed.
[00:09:37.240 --> 00:09:38.120] Like just hang out.
[00:09:38.120 --> 00:09:38.680] Hang out.
[00:09:38.680 --> 00:09:39.640] Use the pool.
[00:09:39.640 --> 00:09:40.360] Whatever you need.
[00:09:40.360 --> 00:09:44.040] And like that, like, this just tells you a lot about who she is.
[00:09:44.040 --> 00:09:45.000] And you are that person.
[00:09:45.000 --> 00:09:46.280] You flew all the way from Dubai.
[00:09:46.280 --> 00:09:51.640] So you moved from LA to Austin with your, with your, with when you had number two.
[00:09:51.880 --> 00:09:55.800] And then now you are raising your children in Dubai.
[00:09:55.800 --> 00:09:59.640] So we need to like unpack that as well, this international move.
[00:09:59.640 --> 00:10:00.600] Oh my gosh, yes.
[00:10:00.600 --> 00:10:01.640] Okay, so that was the intro.
[00:10:01.640 --> 00:10:03.400] So I gave your intros.
[00:10:03.480 --> 00:10:04.280] You're really good at that.
[00:10:04.280 --> 00:10:04.680] You're really good at that.
[00:10:04.840 --> 00:10:05.640] I'm a podcast host.
[00:10:05.640 --> 00:10:07.480] I've been doing this for five years now.
[00:10:07.480 --> 00:10:08.200] Five years now.
[00:10:08.200 --> 00:10:09.480] I can give an intro.
[00:10:09.480 --> 00:10:14.360] She is a true, just your trailbraiser, and your story is incredible.
[00:10:14.360 --> 00:10:19.320] Tell us about your, like, tell us a little bit about the That Sucks.
[00:10:19.320 --> 00:10:19.880] Now what?
[00:10:20.200 --> 00:10:22.840] Yeah, so I feel like, you know, it's been a mantra.
[00:10:22.840 --> 00:10:29.480] It's been a mantra that to give people, and now I've, gosh, you know, thousands and thousands of copies.
[00:10:29.480 --> 00:10:39.720] The way that it started was when I became a mama, I went through, and I don't know if we talked about it the first episode, but I went through crazy postpartum depression.
[00:10:39.720 --> 00:10:42.360] And I didn't realize what that was.
[00:10:42.360 --> 00:10:47.680] I just thought that, you know, my in-laws, bless them, they're, you know, from India, they're from Jaipur.
[00:10:47.680 --> 00:10:48.640] They were coming to the U.S.
[00:10:44.920 --> 00:10:49.920] for the very, very first time.
[00:10:50.240 --> 00:10:56.960] So I literally went into my good girl, like, had to be good girl, good daughter kind of a thing.
[00:10:56.960 --> 00:11:03.920] Because my backstory is, I lost my parents and brother before I was, you know, before I was 20, before I was 19, actually.
[00:11:04.240 --> 00:11:07.760] And so, you know, having this full circle, full tilt into that.
[00:11:08.000 --> 00:11:09.520] Lost as in they passed away.
[00:11:09.520 --> 00:11:10.960] Lost as in they passed away.
[00:11:11.360 --> 00:11:12.480] All through like your three years.
[00:11:12.720 --> 00:11:13.520] Within three years.
[00:11:13.520 --> 00:11:16.400] Your mother, your father, your brother.
[00:11:17.120 --> 00:11:19.120] And your grandmother, too, within that.
[00:11:19.120 --> 00:11:25.920] So my grandmother actually was, was, she would have, was like 15 years later.
[00:11:25.920 --> 00:11:27.200] But yeah, she raised me, actually.
[00:11:27.200 --> 00:11:29.360] My grandmother, my Bua, my other aunts.
[00:11:29.680 --> 00:11:34.880] And so I was raised by matriarchs, but it was, you know, it was a tragic time.
[00:11:34.880 --> 00:11:46.320] And of course, as the women here know at CEO school, like you, you take those painful, you know, parts of you and you kind of feel them forward, or at least that was my.
[00:11:47.760 --> 00:11:52.400] Yeah, so my mom had breast cancer and it went into her lungs.
[00:11:52.400 --> 00:11:59.440] And now a lot of things that we know about Ayurveda, Chinese medicine, lungs means that's a sign of grief.
[00:11:59.440 --> 00:12:03.040] And she had lost her dad a few years before.
[00:12:03.040 --> 00:12:06.720] Actually, she lost a few people a few years before she got diagnosed.
[00:12:07.760 --> 00:12:10.560] And then she battled that for about six years.
[00:12:10.560 --> 00:12:16.800] And then a year after, my brother had an asthma attack at school.
[00:12:16.800 --> 00:12:22.720] And so he, so it was very, oh, it was, it was like, you're in the grief tunnel, the grief portal.
[00:12:22.720 --> 00:12:32.920] My dad, bless him, he was Punjabi, her dad from India, losing his wife, which, you know, to be a widow like that.
[00:12:33.320 --> 00:12:34.200] How old were you?
[00:12:34.200 --> 00:12:38.440] I was 16 when my mom passed.
[00:12:38.440 --> 00:12:41.400] So her journey of cancer kind of culminated.
[00:12:41.400 --> 00:12:47.480] She transitioned, and literally it was a year, it was immediately a year after my brother passed away.
[00:12:47.480 --> 00:12:49.400] And he was, you know, he was fine.
[00:12:49.400 --> 00:13:00.840] He was, and obviously now I get into more that esoteric side because I do believe, you know, in miracles, I believe in angels, I believe in just kind of there is another element.
[00:13:00.840 --> 00:13:02.920] And that was part of my healing journey.
[00:13:03.640 --> 00:13:05.720] And they were really close.
[00:13:05.720 --> 00:13:08.120] And so he also had an asthma attack.
[00:13:08.120 --> 00:13:11.240] Asthma also, lungs, grief, big grief.
[00:13:11.320 --> 00:13:12.520] How old was he?
[00:13:12.520 --> 00:13:14.200] He was, he was 15.
[00:13:14.200 --> 00:13:15.640] We were 16 months apart.
[00:13:15.800 --> 00:13:16.360] That was so close.
[00:13:16.360 --> 00:13:18.840] Yeah, so you and your brother remind me of mine.
[00:13:18.840 --> 00:13:19.720] That's so sad.
[00:13:19.720 --> 00:13:20.920] Yeah, so close.
[00:13:20.920 --> 00:13:27.960] And then, you know, my dad, just as a strong Indian, powerful, he was a serial entrepreneur as well, just went into deep depression.
[00:13:27.960 --> 00:13:31.240] So that means I just went into, okay, survival mode.
[00:13:31.240 --> 00:13:32.440] I talked about that.
[00:13:32.840 --> 00:13:35.160] And I think a lot of us do go into survival mode, right?
[00:13:35.160 --> 00:13:37.480] We think we're the only one that can do everything.
[00:13:37.480 --> 00:13:39.000] We're the only one that can hold the fort down.
[00:13:39.000 --> 00:13:40.040] We're the only one that can.
[00:13:40.360 --> 00:13:43.000] And so that was kind of the essence.
[00:13:43.000 --> 00:13:48.600] And also, you know, it took him to a very, you know, dark place.
[00:13:48.600 --> 00:13:54.120] And then he was diagnosed two years later with stage four, lung cancer.
[00:13:54.120 --> 00:13:55.000] Crazy.
[00:13:55.000 --> 00:13:55.800] Oh, my goodness.
[00:13:55.800 --> 00:13:57.000] Yeah, so grief.
[00:13:57.000 --> 00:14:03.640] So this has really informed my work around understanding your emotions, understanding your emotional health.
[00:14:03.640 --> 00:14:13.880] You know, especially as high achievers, we are taught, especially as women, to disconnect our heart from our head because, oh, we're not going to be taken seriously if we just are from the heart, right?
[00:14:13.880 --> 00:14:24.080] There's all these memes about somebody who loses their stuff in the boardroom, or you're called bitchy if you have, you know, boundaries and you have expectations.
[00:14:24.080 --> 00:14:29.440] And so I really wanted to unpack that for people that really became my life's mission.
[00:14:29.440 --> 00:14:34.640] I mean, throughout that, I became a cosmetic dentist because that's what you do when you have tiger parents.
[00:14:34.640 --> 00:14:40.400] And I think that was my first foray also into business building because I had to hustle when I was a teenager.
[00:14:40.400 --> 00:14:41.760] And so you were by yourself.
[00:14:42.080 --> 00:14:43.280] Yeah, I was by myself.
[00:14:43.280 --> 00:14:49.440] I mean, granted, as Filipino Indian families, we do have large families and I had a lot of extended family, family friends.
[00:14:49.600 --> 00:14:52.560] You're being so like, you're so brave about your story.
[00:14:52.560 --> 00:14:52.960] Thank you.
[00:14:52.960 --> 00:14:53.920] That is really hard.
[00:14:53.920 --> 00:14:54.720] Thank you.
[00:14:56.480 --> 00:15:06.560] I've always known your story because we've talked about it, but I actually didn't like connect the lung portion ever to all of that.
[00:15:06.880 --> 00:15:09.120] I mean, I have just chills right now.
[00:15:09.920 --> 00:15:16.800] You're such a brave young woman to like get, you know, to where you are today and now teaching so many people how to be brave.
[00:15:16.800 --> 00:15:17.440] And that's your podcast.
[00:15:17.440 --> 00:15:18.800] Your podcast is literally the brave table.
[00:15:18.960 --> 00:15:19.920] It's how to be brave.
[00:15:19.920 --> 00:15:20.480] How to be brave.
[00:15:20.800 --> 00:15:27.520] How to be brave to just chart out new frontiers, to reinvent yourself, to do the hard things, to choose our heart.
[00:15:27.520 --> 00:15:31.040] And I think that, you know, that's where it starts.
[00:15:31.840 --> 00:15:36.480] And so that's where that suck now what kind of became this mantra.
[00:15:36.480 --> 00:15:45.280] And because, you know, with the dualities of life, right, we're going to have the contrast, we're going to have the dark moments, we're going to have the sad moments.
[00:15:45.280 --> 00:15:47.440] But boy, did I have so much joy.
[00:15:47.440 --> 00:15:48.840] And I think that's what I want.
[00:15:48.920 --> 00:15:49.720] That's so nice to hear.
[00:15:49.960 --> 00:15:54.240] Lead with is the joy, because we brought the joy this morning.
[00:15:55.200 --> 00:15:59.200] And while I've had a, you know, the story is heavy.
[00:15:59.360 --> 00:15:59.960] It's heavy.
[00:15:59.680 --> 00:16:01.000] It's a lot, you guys.
[00:16:01.560 --> 00:16:10.280] I think the joy piece, that's what everyone knows me as, the joy bringer, the queen of reinvention, the queen of connection.
[00:16:10.280 --> 00:16:13.320] And it's because I see people as, you know.
[00:16:13.800 --> 00:16:15.240] How, how are you?
[00:16:15.400 --> 00:16:16.440] How are you that?
[00:16:16.440 --> 00:16:19.960] With that, and that's not even the end of the story, right?
[00:16:19.960 --> 00:16:26.280] Like, I mean, I think in the last episode, I think we did talk about leaving in the middle of the night from your ex-husband.
[00:16:26.280 --> 00:16:31.480] And then you had, you know, even, you know, making decisions, posts, like all of the, all of the things.
[00:16:31.480 --> 00:16:32.840] It's a heavy story.
[00:16:32.840 --> 00:16:33.880] And I don't want to.
[00:16:33.880 --> 00:16:34.440] It's heavy.
[00:16:34.760 --> 00:16:35.000] Yeah.
[00:16:35.800 --> 00:16:37.880] Today's episode isn't about that.
[00:16:37.880 --> 00:16:42.520] But how do you like show up the way that you do with such joy?
[00:16:42.520 --> 00:16:47.560] Because I don't know if I would be able to, it's like the smallest thing will happen.
[00:16:47.560 --> 00:16:50.120] And I internalize it so much.
[00:16:50.360 --> 00:16:51.960] And that feeling of that sucks.
[00:16:53.480 --> 00:16:54.760] I've lost my parent.
[00:16:54.760 --> 00:16:56.200] I've lost my father.
[00:16:56.840 --> 00:16:59.480] And that was really, really hard.
[00:17:00.040 --> 00:17:09.000] I've been through, we've all been through our own suck and our own hard, but it took, it takes me a long time to get out of the suck.
[00:17:09.000 --> 00:17:09.400] Yeah.
[00:17:09.400 --> 00:17:10.040] Okay.
[00:17:10.360 --> 00:17:14.520] And I just want to, like, you are really so much joy all the time.
[00:17:14.520 --> 00:17:24.920] Like, and to experience all that you experience, I don't know if I'd ever, maybe, and maybe I'm not, I just, I don't know, but how do you?
[00:17:26.120 --> 00:17:26.440] Yeah.
[00:17:26.440 --> 00:17:27.240] Now what?
[00:17:27.240 --> 00:17:29.320] Tell me about the now what part of the that story.
[00:17:29.400 --> 00:17:30.360] So it's the now what?
[00:17:30.360 --> 00:17:33.240] So, so, you know, and I talked about this on stage today.
[00:17:33.240 --> 00:17:38.040] It's like we have to make room for the capacity to feel, right?
[00:17:38.040 --> 00:17:46.160] Your capacity to experience joy is going to also match your capacity to feel grief.
[00:17:46.480 --> 00:17:54.480] And yeah, the reason why I can say, wow, I bring so much joy is because I lived through years and years and years, probably decade.
[00:17:54.480 --> 00:18:11.120] of just grief and pushing and shoving things under a rug and then having it burst in all of the different ways, whether it be on, you know, people I love or aunts and uncles or even my youngest brother, because I was a caretaker to my youngest brother who was 14 when we were orphaned.
[00:18:11.120 --> 00:18:15.600] And so, you know, I think that it comes out in the craziest ways.
[00:18:16.000 --> 00:18:19.200] We develop these, you know, unhealthy coping mechanisms.
[00:18:20.000 --> 00:18:33.840] And honestly, for a lot of high-achieving people, women, we all have this Achilles heel to overcompensate, we overwork, we try to prove, we're proving our worth, we're constantly chugging, and then guess what?
[00:18:33.840 --> 00:18:38.080] We get to, you know, a season of our life where we can't push anymore.
[00:18:38.080 --> 00:18:43.840] Either we have that accident, we get the diagnosis, something forces us to stop.
[00:18:43.840 --> 00:18:47.120] You know, we find out about the affair or whatever it is.
[00:18:47.120 --> 00:18:49.760] And then we're like, oh, okay.
[00:18:50.080 --> 00:18:55.120] Okay, can I find the slivers of joy in these moments where it's so painful?
[00:18:55.120 --> 00:18:56.720] And that's literally what I had to do.
[00:18:56.880 --> 00:18:59.360] I talk about this in the book, That's Like Now What?
[00:18:59.360 --> 00:19:05.440] Where when my mom was going through her, because she, for a year and a half, she was in the ICU.
[00:19:05.440 --> 00:19:11.360] And we would go, literally, I was in high school, and I would, it was in Lane Tech in Chicago.
[00:19:11.360 --> 00:19:19.360] And so I would come back, I would, there was like this coffee shop, and there was this like cute barista guy who also worked there after school.
[00:19:19.360 --> 00:19:29.160] And we would like flirt, and I'd be like, oh my gosh, I'm having butterflies coming to my mom, to see my mom after school in this very dreary place.
[00:19:29.040 --> 00:19:34.040] But that was like a high before I got to the low.
[00:19:34.360 --> 00:19:37.800] And so can we increase our capacity to feel?
[00:19:37.800 --> 00:19:38.760] It's like to go there.
[00:19:38.760 --> 00:19:42.040] And I don't think we allow ourselves to grieve after a breakup.
[00:19:42.040 --> 00:19:54.760] I don't think we allow ourselves to grieve after, you know, maybe a friendship loss or something terrible happens that we just, we didn't get the promotion or we didn't, you know, our right hand just quit on us or whatever the case is.
[00:19:54.760 --> 00:19:59.320] We didn't reach the pinnacle or the KPIs that we were supposed to.
[00:19:59.320 --> 00:20:00.680] We don't grieve those things.
[00:20:00.680 --> 00:20:02.760] We're like, all right, the next, the next, the next.
[00:20:02.760 --> 00:20:03.640] And we're supposed to.
[00:20:03.960 --> 00:20:09.480] And we're taught, society tells us that we're taught to just not feel, to numb it all out.
[00:20:09.480 --> 00:20:10.840] So then what do we start doing?
[00:20:10.840 --> 00:20:14.200] We numbing it in the, we numb it in the form of, okay, let's swipe.
[00:20:14.200 --> 00:20:18.360] That really hit for me, which is the, which is the night scrolling that you talked about.
[00:20:18.440 --> 00:20:24.280] So all the which ways that you think you're like, you're, you're actually coping with it, but in ways that it's coming out unhealthy.
[00:20:24.280 --> 00:20:25.560] The doom scrolling.
[00:20:25.960 --> 00:20:32.520] When you said that, I actually, I have, I used to be so good about leaving my phone outside of my room.
[00:20:32.520 --> 00:20:36.440] And then, or even when I'd plug it into the nightstand, it'd be like on the nightstand, but I wouldn't touch it.
[00:20:36.440 --> 00:20:40.120] Like I'd go into like, do not disturb D and D, and I'd be totally fine with it.
[00:20:40.120 --> 00:20:46.360] If Fazal and I wanted to watch some TV, cool, we'd watch something, but I could literally be like, I'm tired, turn it off, like we're good.
[00:20:46.360 --> 00:20:46.760] Yeah.
[00:20:47.080 --> 00:20:52.360] But recently I noticed that because I'm back at building another startup again.
[00:20:52.360 --> 00:20:53.080] It's wild.
[00:20:53.080 --> 00:20:53.240] Yes.
[00:20:53.400 --> 00:20:54.360] How do you even do that?
[00:20:54.760 --> 00:20:56.120] Yeah, we're doing it.
[00:20:56.120 --> 00:20:56.840] We're doing it.
[00:20:56.840 --> 00:20:57.720] We're doing it.
[00:20:57.720 --> 00:20:59.400] And I do feel like I have it.
[00:20:59.400 --> 00:21:02.920] And then momhood and just, I feel like I'm on.
[00:21:02.920 --> 00:21:07.800] Like, from the moment I wake up to like when I hit my head on that bed, and it's like nine o'clock.
[00:21:07.800 --> 00:21:08.680] And I get to bed by nine.
[00:21:08.680 --> 00:21:16.080] So, I have like kids go to bed and I put them to bed, and then I'm like in my bed, and I know that when my head goes down, I should go to sleep, but I'm so exhausted.
[00:21:14.840 --> 00:21:21.920] I haven't had two minutes to myself, and then I pull up the gram, or then I pull up, and I and I was never that person.
[00:21:22.240 --> 00:21:27.520] I've put limits on my phone, I've never actually been like, Oh, your 45-minute time limit is up.
[00:21:27.520 --> 00:21:32.560] And now I'm getting these notifications, and all I'm doing is like I'm laughing, and I'm sending like my favorite part.
[00:21:32.560 --> 00:21:35.280] Yeah, my favorite part of my night, and I'm the funniest friend.
[00:21:35.280 --> 00:21:37.120] Like, at least I think I'm the funniest friend.
[00:21:37.360 --> 00:21:38.480] You're funny, you're really funny.
[00:21:38.480 --> 00:21:46.240] I am really funny, and so I'm finding like the most hilarious shit to send to the right person, and it makes me so happy when I do.
[00:21:46.240 --> 00:21:46.960] Like, it does.
[00:21:46.960 --> 00:21:56.400] So, there's like maybe like seven people that I constantly send stuff to, and I'm like, oh, I found the funniest one, and there's like, and I love doing it, but that is a coping mechanism.
[00:21:56.400 --> 00:22:00.880] It's a coping mechanism because damn it, yes, damn it.
[00:22:00.880 --> 00:22:04.080] But I feel like, well, and here's the thing: we all do it.
[00:22:04.080 --> 00:22:04.320] Why?
[00:22:04.320 --> 00:22:04.640] Why?
[00:22:04.720 --> 00:22:05.600] Saturday tons.
[00:22:05.600 --> 00:22:07.680] You're not going to get them anymore.
[00:22:08.000 --> 00:22:11.440] I feel like if it's, but here's the thing: it's bringing you joy.
[00:22:11.440 --> 00:22:17.920] I think that, but it's, it's bringing me joy, and it's also like the blue light is keeping you up.
[00:22:17.920 --> 00:22:23.120] The dopamine is also keeping me up that you're because I haven't had five minutes to just have some fun.
[00:22:23.520 --> 00:22:29.200] Of course, to have fun, to let loose, to actually shake it off or dance it off, or not think about anything else.
[00:22:29.200 --> 00:22:30.720] That's what it's doing for me, right?
[00:22:30.720 --> 00:22:32.800] Yeah, like it's just mindless.
[00:22:32.800 --> 00:22:33.600] It's mindless.
[00:22:33.760 --> 00:22:35.200] And I haven't had a moment.
[00:22:35.520 --> 00:22:37.600] Every moment has been mindful.
[00:22:37.840 --> 00:22:40.000] And so when I'm doing that, it's a moment.
[00:22:40.000 --> 00:22:43.840] It's, it's, it's that, you know, 30 minutes of mindlessness.
[00:22:43.840 --> 00:22:45.680] And that's what my brain's craving.
[00:22:45.680 --> 00:22:56.080] But that's an awful habit to have mindlessness versus so many other great habits that I could use to create mindfulness, mindlessness, or like to create the moments of peace.
[00:22:56.080 --> 00:22:57.840] Or even coming back home to you.
[00:22:57.840 --> 00:22:58.240] Yes.
[00:22:58.240 --> 00:22:58.960] And that's the thing.
[00:22:58.960 --> 00:23:01.800] It's like, you know, for the, I mean, that was a talk today.
[00:23:01.960 --> 00:23:03.960] For the woman who does all, how do you come back to yourself?
[00:23:04.200 --> 00:23:08.360] And give us, give some other examples before you give us the fix because that was the one that resonated with me.
[00:23:08.360 --> 00:23:12.360] Yeah, so, so the, well, and then the shopping, yeah.
[00:23:12.360 --> 00:23:16.760] I mean, grabbing the bottle of wine at 10 p.m.
[00:23:16.920 --> 00:23:18.200] when you got the bad news.
[00:23:18.200 --> 00:23:19.880] It's like, I know I used to do that.
[00:23:19.880 --> 00:23:21.720] I'm like, all right, I'm going to do the twist cap.
[00:23:21.720 --> 00:23:21.960] Yes, I'm going to do it.
[00:23:22.040 --> 00:23:28.200] The Pinot Noir feels really good, especially when the kids are like irate and screaming their heads off.
[00:23:28.200 --> 00:23:30.360] I'm like, I need a glass of wine right now.
[00:23:30.360 --> 00:23:31.640] And just the ritual.
[00:23:31.640 --> 00:23:32.520] It's the ritual.
[00:23:32.520 --> 00:23:34.120] The ritual of that just opening.
[00:23:34.120 --> 00:23:35.000] It's not even the thing.
[00:23:35.000 --> 00:23:35.400] It's opening the bottle.
[00:23:35.560 --> 00:23:38.120] It's opening the bottle that you're like, now I can.
[00:23:38.280 --> 00:23:40.040] No, but it's like now you can relax.
[00:23:40.040 --> 00:23:40.360] Yeah.
[00:23:40.360 --> 00:23:45.160] And literally, your nervous system's like, because that feels familiar.
[00:23:45.160 --> 00:23:46.200] It feels safe.
[00:23:46.600 --> 00:23:49.080] It feels, it's like, oh, yes, I've done this before.
[00:23:49.080 --> 00:23:54.680] I know all of you, let's just be honest, like, just right now, screenshot this and DM me and DM Nita.
[00:23:54.680 --> 00:23:55.400] Like, please.
[00:23:55.400 --> 00:23:58.440] We're calling it out, but I'll be the first to accept it too.
[00:23:58.440 --> 00:23:59.480] So in a loving way.
[00:23:59.720 --> 00:24:00.680] In a love, loving way.
[00:24:01.240 --> 00:24:01.720] So what else?
[00:24:01.720 --> 00:24:03.080] What were the other things that we're doing?
[00:24:03.240 --> 00:24:07.240] Well, and then we emotionally dump on dump and bursts, right?
[00:24:07.240 --> 00:24:09.480] We emotionally dump and burst on the people that we love.
[00:24:09.800 --> 00:24:10.360] Guilty.
[00:24:10.360 --> 00:24:13.320] Especially, like, yeah, we wake up at five to slay.
[00:24:13.320 --> 00:24:14.200] We're going to the gym.
[00:24:14.200 --> 00:24:15.320] We're doing all the things.
[00:24:15.320 --> 00:24:16.760] We've got the meetings.
[00:24:16.760 --> 00:24:18.920] And then, you know, by the end, we come home.
[00:24:18.920 --> 00:24:19.800] We're so drained.
[00:24:19.800 --> 00:24:22.200] We don't have any time for people we love.
[00:24:22.200 --> 00:24:24.360] And then they ask you that one thing.
[00:24:24.360 --> 00:24:24.680] Yeah.
[00:24:24.680 --> 00:24:27.000] That you already asked me a hundred times, Faisal.
[00:24:27.960 --> 00:24:28.600] Seriously.
[00:24:28.600 --> 00:24:28.920] I know.
[00:24:29.640 --> 00:24:31.480] And then, and then you're like, what the fuck?
[00:24:31.640 --> 00:24:31.960] Yeah.
[00:24:32.280 --> 00:24:33.960] You don't have space to just be kind.
[00:24:33.960 --> 00:24:35.400] You don't have your capacity.
[00:24:35.400 --> 00:24:36.040] You're done.
[00:24:36.040 --> 00:24:39.800] Your capacity is not there because you didn't fill up our reserves.
[00:24:39.920 --> 00:24:40.840] I'm sorry, Faisal.
[00:24:40.840 --> 00:24:41.560] I love you.
[00:24:41.560 --> 00:24:43.160] And my kids sometimes too.
[00:24:43.400 --> 00:24:44.600] My kids, yeah, same.
[00:24:44.600 --> 00:24:44.960] I'm like.
[00:24:45.120 --> 00:24:46.160] Where you lose your patience.
[00:24:46.160 --> 00:24:50.240] Oh, you lose your six-year-old requires, she does.
[00:24:44.840 --> 00:24:50.800] She's a child.
[00:24:50.960 --> 00:24:54.240] She requires a lot of eye-to-eye contact.
[00:24:54.240 --> 00:24:57.920] And if I'm not looking her, she's like a quality time person.
[00:24:57.920 --> 00:24:59.440] She wants to do the activity.
[00:24:59.440 --> 00:25:00.640] She wants to do the doing.
[00:25:00.640 --> 00:25:02.000] She wants to do the crafting.
[00:25:02.400 --> 00:25:06.960] Like for her, it's not like going for, like, it's doing the thing is important to her.
[00:25:06.960 --> 00:25:07.440] With her.
[00:25:07.440 --> 00:25:07.840] With her.
[00:25:08.320 --> 00:25:10.240] That requires energy.
[00:25:10.240 --> 00:25:11.600] Energy and patience.
[00:25:11.840 --> 00:25:12.400] Patience.
[00:25:12.400 --> 00:25:14.960] And just, I know, my some days I don't have it.
[00:25:15.280 --> 00:25:15.840] Same.
[00:25:15.840 --> 00:25:17.360] So we lose our feuds.
[00:25:17.760 --> 00:25:19.520] We lose our shit and then we yell at them.
[00:25:19.520 --> 00:25:20.880] So we dump.
[00:25:20.880 --> 00:25:23.520] And then also we're emotionally eating, right?
[00:25:23.680 --> 00:25:24.000] Chocolate.
[00:25:24.160 --> 00:25:24.880] Oh, the ice cream.
[00:25:25.040 --> 00:25:25.760] Yes.
[00:25:26.720 --> 00:25:28.240] The late night snacking.
[00:25:28.240 --> 00:25:30.480] I feel like I would always late night snack.
[00:25:30.480 --> 00:25:31.040] And there was a lot of stuff.
[00:25:31.200 --> 00:25:33.840] We need to for sure do like a poll of this screen.
[00:25:34.800 --> 00:25:35.680] What was your vice?
[00:25:35.680 --> 00:25:35.920] Yeah.
[00:25:35.920 --> 00:25:36.080] Yeah.
[00:25:36.080 --> 00:25:36.480] What's your vice?
[00:25:36.720 --> 00:25:37.360] What's the vice?
[00:25:37.360 --> 00:25:38.400] Okay, I'm not a luckily.
[00:25:38.400 --> 00:25:41.040] I'm not a sweets person, but I'm a salty person for sure.
[00:25:41.040 --> 00:25:46.480] So if I'm snacking, it's for sure, like after 10 chips or is it like spicy chips?
[00:25:46.640 --> 00:25:46.960] Okay.
[00:25:46.960 --> 00:25:48.480] Like it's the Indian, you know, this brandy.
[00:25:48.560 --> 00:25:50.480] Are you not kidding?
[00:25:51.200 --> 00:25:51.520] Oh my gosh.
[00:25:51.680 --> 00:25:53.840] Yes, they're so salty and so spicy.
[00:25:54.320 --> 00:25:55.440] My husband loves those.
[00:25:55.440 --> 00:25:55.840] I love those.
[00:25:56.160 --> 00:25:59.360] I know, but it's like fried in all that seed oil.
[00:25:59.840 --> 00:26:00.400] I know, I know.
[00:26:00.400 --> 00:26:01.040] It's not good.
[00:26:01.040 --> 00:26:02.720] It's not exactly good.
[00:26:02.880 --> 00:26:03.440] It's not awesome.
[00:26:03.680 --> 00:26:06.160] I know if it's the thing that I want, it's that thing.
[00:26:06.560 --> 00:26:10.800] In every brown house, they do have it like in the center table of whatever things.
[00:26:11.200 --> 00:26:11.680] Spicy.
[00:26:12.080 --> 00:26:12.560] It's there.
[00:26:12.960 --> 00:26:13.760] I'll tell you what it is.
[00:26:13.760 --> 00:26:19.840] It's like a, you know, those like mini potato, like potato sticks that they put on like burgers and hot dogs.
[00:26:19.840 --> 00:26:21.760] Like, like you know, what you're trying to do, like the little tiny ones.
[00:26:21.760 --> 00:26:24.240] I'm looking at Lily to confirm my podcast manager.
[00:26:24.240 --> 00:26:24.640] Okay.
[00:26:24.640 --> 00:26:28.640] It's that, but imagine that, like, just like tossed in chili flavor.
[00:26:28.640 --> 00:26:29.640] Like, it's just like spicy.
[00:26:29.520 --> 00:26:30.920] It's like hot Cheetos.
[00:26:29.600 --> 00:26:32.840] It's like, it's like the Indian hot Cheetos.
[00:26:29.760 --> 00:26:34.040] No, it's hot Cheetos.
[00:26:34.040 --> 00:26:34.520] Yeah.
[00:26:34.520 --> 00:26:35.160] It's just garbage.
[00:26:29.920 --> 00:26:37.000] And maybe, and maybe even worse, sweet.
[00:26:37.240 --> 00:26:38.040] People love sweets.
[00:26:38.040 --> 00:26:39.080] People love people.
[00:26:39.080 --> 00:26:39.240] Yeah.
[00:26:39.640 --> 00:26:39.800] Okay.
[00:26:39.800 --> 00:26:40.440] So all of those things.
[00:26:40.520 --> 00:26:42.200] Well, because it's coping mechanisms, right?
[00:26:42.200 --> 00:26:43.080] We're doing all the things.
[00:26:43.080 --> 00:26:46.120] I do want to know what you're doing because we don't have to feel bad about it.
[00:26:46.120 --> 00:26:47.320] It's just what's happening.
[00:26:47.800 --> 00:26:48.280] But Dr.
[00:26:48.280 --> 00:26:51.320] Nita's going to give us how do we stop this?
[00:26:51.320 --> 00:26:52.600] So the now what?
[00:26:52.600 --> 00:26:54.200] So we're stressed.
[00:26:54.840 --> 00:26:56.200] It's rightful.
[00:26:56.200 --> 00:26:57.640] So you're not crazy.
[00:26:57.640 --> 00:26:59.000] So that is what we'll validate.
[00:26:59.000 --> 00:27:00.200] You're not crazy.
[00:27:00.200 --> 00:27:01.640] I'm not crazy.
[00:27:02.120 --> 00:27:03.320] We're all not crazy.
[00:27:04.520 --> 00:27:05.400] We're not terrible.
[00:27:05.640 --> 00:27:06.200] We're amazing.
[00:27:06.280 --> 00:27:07.480] We're working hard.
[00:27:07.480 --> 00:27:09.000] We're doing the best that we can, right?
[00:27:09.000 --> 00:27:12.280] We're doing the best that we can with the tools that we have.
[00:27:12.280 --> 00:27:18.520] And quite honestly, you all have, like, we've all, all the tools that I taught today, it's not something magical.
[00:27:18.520 --> 00:27:20.760] It's not something that you've never heard of before.
[00:27:20.760 --> 00:27:23.800] It's like, would you, but would you do it?
[00:27:23.800 --> 00:27:24.440] Let's do it.
[00:27:24.440 --> 00:27:25.000] The thing.
[00:27:25.000 --> 00:27:25.880] Okay, okay.
[00:27:25.880 --> 00:27:31.320] So the first is when we are like, we're losing our shit.
[00:27:31.320 --> 00:27:33.080] We have an emotion.
[00:27:33.400 --> 00:27:35.000] Something didn't go our way.
[00:27:35.000 --> 00:27:36.840] Something didn't go as planned.
[00:27:36.840 --> 00:27:39.720] You know, there is a mantra to say.
[00:27:39.720 --> 00:27:41.240] You can actually say that suck.
[00:27:41.240 --> 00:27:42.040] Now what?
[00:27:42.040 --> 00:27:47.160] When we actually suppress that emotion and suppress the resentment, suppress the anger, suppress.
[00:27:47.480 --> 00:27:48.200] So accept it.
[00:27:48.200 --> 00:27:49.080] Say that sucks.
[00:27:49.640 --> 00:27:50.360] Yeah, just say it.
[00:27:50.360 --> 00:27:50.760] Say it.
[00:27:50.760 --> 00:27:51.240] That sucks.
[00:27:51.240 --> 00:27:51.720] That sucks.
[00:27:51.720 --> 00:27:52.360] That sucked.
[00:27:52.360 --> 00:27:52.840] That sucked.
[00:27:53.080 --> 00:27:54.680] And we can even acknowledge it, right?
[00:27:54.680 --> 00:27:56.280] So studies have shown this.
[00:27:56.280 --> 00:28:09.800] When we say the thing out loud that we are experiencing, I am feeling, I'm feeling sad that that thing didn't go as planned, or I'm feeling jealous right now because I saw that they got funded and I didn't, right?
[00:28:09.800 --> 00:28:11.160] We're voicing it.
[00:28:11.160 --> 00:28:16.880] So we talked about this today: if we are not voicing the things that are in our head, we're ruminating.
[00:28:16.880 --> 00:28:17.280] Okay.
[00:28:17.280 --> 00:28:19.520] And all of that pressure is building in our head.
[00:28:19.920 --> 00:28:20.720] So get it out.
[00:28:20.720 --> 00:28:21.920] We got to get it out.
[00:28:21.920 --> 00:28:26.000] And I guarantee you, even if you just do that, super simple, you will feel better.
[00:28:26.000 --> 00:28:26.320] It's like.
[00:28:26.560 --> 00:28:27.760] Or journal it or write it.
[00:28:27.760 --> 00:28:29.440] Journal it, write it, send a voice note.
[00:28:29.600 --> 00:28:32.320] I love this, and I didn't share this on stage, but I usually do.
[00:28:32.640 --> 00:28:34.000] You send a voice note to your friend.
[00:28:34.000 --> 00:28:36.000] How many of us do the long voice notes?
[00:28:36.000 --> 00:28:36.400] Yeah.
[00:28:36.400 --> 00:28:40.240] Yeah, like, hey, I'm, but send it to yourself.
[00:28:40.240 --> 00:28:48.080] If you are an orator, if you like to talk and share, and you don't, you probably don't want to share this with a friend, maybe not, maybe you do.
[00:28:48.720 --> 00:28:52.960] Record yourself on your, you know, on your voice notes.
[00:28:52.960 --> 00:28:57.840] And the voice note app, just record it and say, I am feeling like shit right now.
[00:28:58.160 --> 00:28:59.040] That's it.
[00:28:59.040 --> 00:29:00.000] And just feel it.
[00:29:00.240 --> 00:29:04.560] The second reset that we talked about was having self-compassion for yourself.
[00:29:04.560 --> 00:29:15.360] Because a lot of times when we're traveling by yourself, when we're doing, when we're navigating life and like building careers and businesses solo, which it happens, it can be very lonely.
[00:29:15.360 --> 00:29:18.720] You know, one in three report being lonely in the U.S.
[00:29:18.960 --> 00:29:20.720] It's insane.
[00:29:21.040 --> 00:29:27.360] And also anxiety and you said one in three women right now are going through anxiety.
[00:29:27.360 --> 00:29:30.080] Going through anxiety, depression, loneliness.
[00:29:30.160 --> 00:29:30.640] One in three.
[00:29:30.640 --> 00:29:31.280] One in three.
[00:29:31.280 --> 00:29:33.280] I mean, it's insane.
[00:29:33.280 --> 00:29:38.400] I mean, or they're, or we're not even able to communicate, right?
[00:29:38.400 --> 00:29:41.920] And we're just having these low-vibe, low-funky feelings.
[00:29:41.920 --> 00:29:46.000] And that's a whole other topic to unpack.
[00:29:46.000 --> 00:29:55.280] But we can actually put our hands over our heart and just like, if you actually have that touch and connection, some of us actually are wired by touch.
[00:29:55.280 --> 00:30:02.200] We're mammals, you know, and we're, as women, we need to have that touch, that embrace.
[00:29:59.600 --> 00:30:13.320] And I used to do this a lot because I grew up without my parents to just okay, hug myself, hug a stuffed animal, even when my kids in their mindful corner that we have in the house.
[00:30:13.320 --> 00:30:15.000] We literally have stuffies.
[00:30:15.000 --> 00:30:19.560] And sometimes, I, you know, when I have the pillows and we're just like, okay, let's cuddle and let's hug.
[00:30:19.560 --> 00:30:31.720] I literally have a room in my home and in my office, I have, I literally have pillows, some for throwing for my rage practice, which we'll get into, but then some for just you want that cuddle.
[00:30:31.720 --> 00:30:41.880] But literally, and there's science to this: if you put your hand over your heart, you keep it there for 30 seconds, maybe you guys can do this right now, you will actually activate your oxytocin.
[00:30:42.200 --> 00:30:48.520] And the best part is, is if you are working with someone else, you can actually give them a hug.
[00:30:48.520 --> 00:30:49.400] Give them a hug.
[00:30:49.400 --> 00:30:56.520] And get, and not, you know, not the pats on the back that you go when you go to the bro conferences or any of those conferences, and they're like, nice to see you.
[00:30:56.520 --> 00:30:58.200] Or when I go to London, I get that a lot.
[00:30:58.200 --> 00:30:59.080] Of like, oh, yes.
[00:30:59.240 --> 00:31:01.240] You know, just like the fake hugs.
[00:31:01.240 --> 00:31:02.200] Not real hugs.
[00:31:02.360 --> 00:31:03.720] I don't like the fake hugs.
[00:31:03.720 --> 00:31:06.360] We're not in for the chest.
[00:31:07.400 --> 00:31:09.240] Like, full embrace.
[00:31:09.240 --> 00:31:12.920] Just like get in there, nuzzle them in there, you know.
[00:31:13.240 --> 00:31:16.840] And you, like, how good did you feel after?
[00:31:16.840 --> 00:31:17.160] So good.
[00:31:17.160 --> 00:31:17.800] We all hugged it out.
[00:31:17.800 --> 00:31:18.200] It was so funny.
[00:31:18.360 --> 00:31:19.080] Everyone hugged it out.
[00:31:19.960 --> 00:31:22.280] I wanted to get really crunchy and get everybody in a circle.
[00:31:22.280 --> 00:31:25.480] And then I'm like, oh my gosh, Sunira's going to be like, what are you doing?
[00:31:25.640 --> 00:31:27.240] No, we did get really crunchy.
[00:31:27.240 --> 00:31:28.360] You made us all scream.
[00:31:28.680 --> 00:31:29.080] We did.
[00:31:29.080 --> 00:31:29.400] We did.
[00:31:29.400 --> 00:31:29.960] Yeah, we did.
[00:31:30.920 --> 00:31:31.720] It was weird.
[00:31:31.880 --> 00:31:32.840] It was weird.
[00:31:32.840 --> 00:31:34.040] Okay, which is reset.
[00:31:34.040 --> 00:31:35.160] I think, what, number three?
[00:31:35.160 --> 00:31:35.960] So it's breathing.
[00:31:35.960 --> 00:31:36.440] We did breathing.
[00:31:36.680 --> 00:31:38.120] So we, we, yeah, we were breathing.
[00:31:38.440 --> 00:31:38.840] That was good.
[00:31:38.840 --> 00:31:39.480] I like that one.
[00:31:40.360 --> 00:31:42.680] Yeah, the breath of fire, the pranayama.
[00:31:42.680 --> 00:31:46.720] I mean, if you've ever been to a yoga class, you've probably done this, but we don't.
[00:31:44.840 --> 00:31:49.440] And here's the science behind it.
[00:31:49.760 --> 00:31:58.880] So when we have that dry heaving cry, like the cry that we just don't want to do, when we're actually crying, we're releasing cortisol.
[00:31:58.880 --> 00:32:00.960] And cortisol is our stress hormone.
[00:32:00.960 --> 00:32:12.640] So think about this again the next time you want to hold back your tears, the next time somebody is telling you something really hard, or, you know, or maybe you see somebody else crying in front of you and you just want to hold it together.
[00:32:12.960 --> 00:32:16.720] That is your stress hormone wanting to leave your body.
[00:32:16.720 --> 00:32:18.720] It's you releasing that cortisol.
[00:32:18.720 --> 00:32:22.320] So guess what happens when you actually allow yourself to cry?
[00:32:22.320 --> 00:32:32.720] You know, after that, and you have like, you know, the cry after you have a breakup or a friend breakup or something bad happens, and you're just like the dry heaving, the that's literally breath of fire.
[00:32:32.720 --> 00:32:35.600] And that's calming down your nervous system.
[00:32:35.600 --> 00:32:38.240] Your body is saying, okay, let's release it, let's get it out, let's get it out.
[00:32:38.320 --> 00:32:40.960] I'm thinking of all the ways that we like talk to our kids, right?
[00:32:40.960 --> 00:32:42.240] Of like, don't cry.
[00:32:42.240 --> 00:32:43.520] Like, let them cry.
[00:32:43.520 --> 00:32:45.280] Oh, yeah, no, let them scream.
[00:32:45.280 --> 00:32:46.160] Of course, let them cry.
[00:32:46.160 --> 00:32:46.800] Let them.
[00:32:46.800 --> 00:32:50.080] They are the best at navigating their emotions.
[00:32:50.640 --> 00:32:52.400] We just tame them down.
[00:32:52.400 --> 00:32:53.520] And why do we do that?
[00:32:53.520 --> 00:32:56.640] It's because we were never given permission to do that as well.
[00:32:56.640 --> 00:33:02.800] I know growing up in a brown, you know, Filipino Indian family, it was like, you are not screaming right now.
[00:33:02.800 --> 00:33:04.000] Get it together.
[00:33:04.000 --> 00:33:05.840] Go to your room or whatever it was.
[00:33:05.840 --> 00:33:06.560] Don't cry.
[00:33:06.560 --> 00:33:11.520] You know, and I think a lot of us, and no shade on our parents, they were just doing the best that they could.
[00:33:11.520 --> 00:33:15.200] But now that we have these tools, why not use them?
[00:33:15.200 --> 00:33:18.080] And why not allow yourself the release?
[00:33:18.080 --> 00:33:20.800] Because how good did it feel after we just did it?
[00:33:20.880 --> 00:33:21.920] Yeah, we did the breath work.
[00:33:21.920 --> 00:33:22.480] That was great.
[00:33:22.480 --> 00:33:24.240] And then we did two, two unique ones.
[00:33:24.240 --> 00:33:25.520] We did laughter.
[00:33:25.760 --> 00:33:27.280] Which I really liked that at first.
[00:33:27.840 --> 00:33:28.360] You were laughing.
[00:33:28.840 --> 00:33:30.000] First, I was like, what is happening?
[00:33:30.360 --> 00:33:32.360] You're like, she's like, she was like, to laugh it out.
[00:33:32.360 --> 00:33:34.760] And she did sound crazy on stage.
[00:33:34.760 --> 00:33:36.760] And then it made me laugh.
[00:33:36.760 --> 00:33:40.200] Like, watching you laugh with your belly made me laugh.
[00:33:40.200 --> 00:33:40.840] Then it made...
[00:33:41.000 --> 00:35:05.680] the woman next to me like we were all laughing laughing at laughing like it was so funny just laughing together it was it's it was fun it was like it actually happened and and in the beginning it was like so tense to be like oh my god this is so weird to like just laugh what am i gonna laugh about it wasn't a joke it wasn't like a funny thing no it was just literally let's laugh go laugh i did play a song though you did you play the chicken what is it chicken banana banana chicken banana yeah that was ridiculous well my kids love that so anytime they're feeling real and hacks for you mamas out there anytime they're feeling really anxious these days because in dubai we're driving like 30 minutes back and forth i literally play that song everyone's hysterical in the car and then my my six year old's like chicken banana and now they have now they have props now they have their sunglasses so it is the funniest thing and my daughter she's the three-year-old so she's giggling it up and of course that's gonna make you laugh so laughter you know what that does is it opens up your vagus nerve our vagus nerve is responsible for allowing us to rest and digest and come back and calm our nervous system because we're in that fight or flight trying to make all these decisions in our day and then we're not breathing because we're breathing shallow which i thought was so interesting to share that part where you're and i'm like that's so true well yeah when we're you know when we are so stressed, when we have like the hundreds of things to do, and i'm i'm guilty of this too.
[00:35:05.680 --> 00:35:17.520] When I was preparing you know for this, I was in New York yesterday and had all of these podcasts, jumped on a plane, already jet lagged, literally made my flight 10 minutes before they closed the door at LaGuardia.
[00:35:17.520 --> 00:35:27.840] And then I get to the scene and I'm like, you know, just, and I'm like, oh my gosh, that big release.
[00:35:27.840 --> 00:35:28.800] I don't think I...
[00:35:28.800 --> 00:35:30.720] I don't think I breathed today.
[00:35:30.720 --> 00:35:33.680] Like, my breathing was just like in my neck.
[00:35:33.680 --> 00:35:41.200] And then, do you wonder why, like, I don't know, after a really long day, your shoulders are just, it's up, your shoulders are like up to your ears.
[00:35:41.200 --> 00:35:43.920] And then you're like, why am I so tense and sore?
[00:35:43.920 --> 00:35:54.160] Oh, it's because we just haven't like straightened our backs to put our shoulders back because we aren't even breathing in our belly.
[00:35:54.160 --> 00:35:58.480] And I had everybody touch their navel because I've also been doing voice lessons.
[00:35:58.480 --> 00:36:00.320] And so now there's another reason.
[00:36:00.880 --> 00:36:02.240] Ooh, voice lessons.
[00:36:02.240 --> 00:36:04.160] I mean, I'm not coming out with an album or anything.
[00:36:04.720 --> 00:36:05.680] It's so for me.
[00:36:05.680 --> 00:36:07.840] But I think as speakers, it's really helpful.
[00:36:07.840 --> 00:36:11.200] And why am I sharing this about singing?
[00:36:11.200 --> 00:36:12.800] Well, I got distracted with that.
[00:36:13.920 --> 00:36:16.400] It also impairs our nervous system.
[00:36:16.400 --> 00:36:18.080] It resets our nervous system.
[00:36:18.080 --> 00:36:19.120] It brings us back.
[00:36:19.120 --> 00:36:28.720] So when we're jamming on old school, I mean, I was in 90s RB hip-hop, like end of the road, like Backstreet Boys, like all of that.
[00:36:28.720 --> 00:36:31.520] You know, you feel instantly better.
[00:36:31.520 --> 00:36:32.800] So we have all these tools.
[00:36:32.800 --> 00:36:34.080] We don't use them.
[00:36:34.080 --> 00:36:37.520] But when we're singing, we're also breathing from our belly.
[00:36:37.520 --> 00:36:39.120] When you're doing it right.
[00:36:39.120 --> 00:36:46.720] If you're singing from here, like from here, then you're just completely off chord because you're breathing from your chest.
[00:36:46.720 --> 00:36:58.160] And that's why when you go to a yoga class or anything, when we breathe and try it, like take a deep breath into your belly, open up your diaphragm, and just like fill your air up.
[00:36:58.160 --> 00:37:16.840] A lot of us women were taught, suck in your stomach, suck in your stomach, don't breathe, and we have to because then when we're even speaking from a place of power, it's not coming from our chest, it's coming from literally our guttural sense, which is our gut.
[00:37:16.840 --> 00:37:21.160] Our gut makes a lot of those decisions, so it's all connected.
[00:37:21.480 --> 00:37:22.600] So, yeah, oh gosh, I agree.
[00:37:23.320 --> 00:37:24.840] Take big breaths, right?
[00:37:24.840 --> 00:37:31.240] So, and that makes sense what you were saying, or like when we're making decisions all day, we're like here, here, here, up in our chest.
[00:37:31.240 --> 00:37:35.000] When we slow down, it's coming from our whole body.
[00:37:35.000 --> 00:37:36.120] It's coming from our whole body.
[00:37:36.120 --> 00:37:39.160] We're literally oxygenating all of ourselves.
[00:37:39.160 --> 00:37:48.360] And I don't know about you, but when we're kind of go, go, go and we're only breathing from here, I don't know at the end of the day, do you just feel like, what the heck happened?
[00:37:48.360 --> 00:37:53.640] I need another pick-me-up, I need another coffee, I need something like I'm just so on edge.
[00:37:53.640 --> 00:37:55.400] Coffee, tea, chai.
[00:37:55.720 --> 00:37:56.840] But try it.
[00:37:56.840 --> 00:37:58.440] Try to take those eyes.
[00:37:59.480 --> 00:38:01.400] Sunira's like, you are calling me out and all.
[00:38:01.480 --> 00:38:02.520] Oh, I love this.
[00:38:02.520 --> 00:38:04.680] I'm fully, I'm aware, though.
[00:38:04.680 --> 00:38:05.400] I'm aware.
[00:38:05.400 --> 00:38:05.880] Of course.
[00:38:05.880 --> 00:38:06.360] And that's a thing.
[00:38:06.520 --> 00:38:09.000] We are all aware, but we just forget.
[00:38:09.000 --> 00:38:11.960] And so that's why I had everyone just put your hand on your belly because.
[00:38:12.120 --> 00:38:12.840] Willie, just take this.
[00:38:12.840 --> 00:38:14.520] I'm going to give this to the podcast manager.
[00:38:14.520 --> 00:38:16.280] Just take my caffeine.
[00:38:16.280 --> 00:38:17.800] I'm just going to breathe.
[00:38:17.800 --> 00:38:18.840] Just come in the shot.
[00:38:18.840 --> 00:38:19.400] There we go.
[00:38:19.400 --> 00:38:19.800] Thank you.
[00:38:20.120 --> 00:38:21.560] I'm going to let my belly out.
[00:38:21.880 --> 00:38:24.040] Yeah, let our belly out.
[00:38:24.040 --> 00:38:25.720] Give it some space.
[00:38:26.040 --> 00:38:26.440] Okay.
[00:38:27.080 --> 00:38:31.360] And when we are exhaling longer than our inhale.
[00:38:31.240 --> 00:38:55.760] So, so if we're inhaling by four counts, and if we hold it, one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, and now we exhale for eight, we can start to allow our heart rate's gonna come down.
[00:38:55.760 --> 00:38:57.360] We already come back to our body.
[00:38:57.360 --> 00:38:58.640] Let's do that again.
[00:38:58.640 --> 00:39:03.840] So, breathe in for four, two, three, four.
[00:39:03.840 --> 00:39:05.280] Hold for seven.
[00:39:05.280 --> 00:39:12.880] One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, and release for eight.
[00:39:14.800 --> 00:39:20.720] Two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight.
[00:39:20.720 --> 00:39:30.640] So, you've just activated your parasympathetic, which means that you've just allowed your body to come into that rest and relaxation.
[00:39:30.640 --> 00:39:33.120] I feel like I'm in, it's so quick.
[00:39:33.120 --> 00:39:34.800] It's so quick, it's a minute.
[00:39:34.800 --> 00:39:35.280] It's a minute.
[00:39:35.440 --> 00:39:36.160] It was so quick.
[00:39:36.160 --> 00:39:37.120] I feel so relaxed.
[00:39:37.120 --> 00:39:37.920] Like, it really does.
[00:39:37.920 --> 00:39:38.960] And I know that.
[00:39:38.960 --> 00:39:41.440] I know, and we just forget when we don't do it.
[00:39:41.440 --> 00:39:43.760] We're like, ah, the phone, it's easier.
[00:39:43.760 --> 00:39:45.120] The phone's easier.
[00:39:45.120 --> 00:39:46.560] But, and that's the thing.
[00:39:46.960 --> 00:39:54.640] Is there a way to bake it into do, and this is what I call them micro and pockets of resets in your day?
[00:39:54.640 --> 00:39:57.680] Like, can you have that pocket of reset for just laughter?
[00:39:57.680 --> 00:40:01.360] Can you have that pocket of reset if you're gonna hum in the car, right?
[00:40:01.360 --> 00:40:03.440] And I do this with my kids: buzzing and humming.
[00:40:03.440 --> 00:40:04.000] It's the same thing.
[00:40:04.000 --> 00:40:08.800] Buzzing, humming, and singing, same thing, activates your vagus nerve.
[00:40:08.800 --> 00:40:10.400] Try it, it's gonna be right.
[00:40:10.400 --> 00:40:19.920] Oh, and the last one, of course, we did was movement: stomping like a dinosaur, dancing, twerking, shaking, moving your hips.
[00:40:19.920 --> 00:40:31.800] And there is science to this because when we move our hips, when we dance, literally, tribal, you know, in tribal communities, they have the drum beats, and there's a reason why they use specific drum beats.
[00:40:31.960 --> 00:40:40.760] And you'll see this in, you know, if you go to Africa, Kenya, in Tanzania, I mean, they have all of these, and everyone is so happy.
[00:40:40.760 --> 00:40:41.560] Why?
[00:40:41.560 --> 00:40:51.400] Because there is a specific frequency that they're, you know, they're using to create that noise that allows us to just, we're vibrating, right?
[00:40:51.400 --> 00:40:53.160] And vibrating, shaking.
[00:40:53.480 --> 00:40:57.160] We're removing all of that stale and stuck energy out of our body.
[00:40:57.160 --> 00:41:00.040] So, you know, hips don't lie, like Shakira says.
[00:41:00.280 --> 00:41:01.240] There's some truth to that.
[00:41:01.240 --> 00:41:01.960] I love that.
[00:41:01.960 --> 00:41:02.680] I love that.
[00:41:02.680 --> 00:41:04.040] There's some truth to twerking.
[00:41:04.040 --> 00:41:04.840] There is.
[00:41:04.840 --> 00:41:05.160] I know.
[00:41:05.160 --> 00:41:06.040] I watched your page.
[00:41:06.040 --> 00:41:07.480] I watched not your page, but Sahara.
[00:41:07.560 --> 00:41:08.360] Sahara's page.
[00:41:08.600 --> 00:41:09.720] And she's the queen of that.
[00:41:09.720 --> 00:41:10.680] She's the queen of that.
[00:41:10.680 --> 00:41:19.640] And so, but there is that truth because, you know, yes, we can say whatever we want about it, but dancing does evoke joy.
[00:41:19.640 --> 00:41:27.320] It evokes, you know, the dopamine, the oxytocin, the serotonin, the endorphins, the endorphins, the dose.
[00:41:27.320 --> 00:41:36.680] And that's the hormones that we can create, the chemicals, the good chemicals, the good juju, where we don't need all of those unhealthy coping mechanisms.
[00:41:36.680 --> 00:41:37.320] Oh, my goodness.
[00:41:37.320 --> 00:41:41.880] And you saved, you didn't give us the stomping we did, which that was fun.
[00:41:42.200 --> 00:41:43.640] And then the screaming.
[00:41:43.960 --> 00:41:45.240] Oh, yes, of course, John.
[00:41:46.440 --> 00:41:52.040] I can't wait to do that because I feel that way where I'm like, in so many moments, but you don't like let it out.
[00:41:52.040 --> 00:41:53.640] No, because we hold it.
[00:41:53.640 --> 00:41:54.360] Yeah, we hold it.
[00:41:54.840 --> 00:42:02.600] Like, I definitely will clench my fist or like want to scream, and then I'll just not because you're not supposed to scream.
[00:42:02.600 --> 00:42:12.600] Well, you know, in traditional Chinese medicine, even in Ayurveda, and you all can look this up as well, when we are holding in our anger, if we do it too much, well, where is it going?
[00:42:12.600 --> 00:42:15.000] It's going into certain organs.
[00:42:15.120 --> 00:42:24.720] And certain organs are like if lungs are, you know, unresolved grief, then for anger, it's usually the liver, the kidneys.
[00:42:25.440 --> 00:42:30.480] So, and this is why a lot of us need to, we're all in detoxing mode now.
[00:42:30.480 --> 00:42:38.880] You might have a liver that's sluggish, or you might have like, you know, for me, when I was completely burnt out, I would get these like rashes through my skin.
[00:42:38.880 --> 00:42:42.000] So, you know, it'll manifest in certain parts of your body.
[00:42:42.160 --> 00:42:42.800] Just scream.
[00:42:42.800 --> 00:42:43.440] Just do it.
[00:42:43.440 --> 00:42:43.840] Scream.
[00:42:44.080 --> 00:42:44.560] Middle of the day.
[00:42:45.360 --> 00:42:46.480] In the office.
[00:42:46.800 --> 00:42:48.240] You know what I do if you're in the office?
[00:42:48.240 --> 00:42:50.080] Because, you know, I talk to people.
[00:42:50.320 --> 00:42:51.040] In public.
[00:42:51.040 --> 00:42:52.880] I talk to companies about this.
[00:42:53.200 --> 00:42:55.360] So they asked, not at publics.
[00:42:55.360 --> 00:42:56.240] But grab your.
[00:42:56.560 --> 00:42:57.520] It should be accepted.
[00:42:57.520 --> 00:43:00.320] I literally have one of those tiny little pillows.
[00:43:00.800 --> 00:43:02.320] You have your tiny pillows.
[00:43:02.320 --> 00:43:04.080] You scream into a pillow.
[00:43:04.080 --> 00:43:07.200] And we literally have this while we're in the car, even with my kids.
[00:43:07.360 --> 00:43:08.880] I've taught them how to do this.
[00:43:08.880 --> 00:43:13.680] We even throw, like, we have extra paper in the car.
[00:43:13.680 --> 00:43:15.200] And so this is what happens.
[00:43:15.200 --> 00:43:19.440] We're like, you know, we crumble the paper up and then we're just, we're throwing it.
[00:43:19.440 --> 00:43:23.760] Because then, of course, the anger turns into silliness and then everyone's laughing.
[00:43:23.760 --> 00:43:24.160] Yeah.
[00:43:24.400 --> 00:43:25.280] So that's what happened.
[00:43:25.280 --> 00:43:25.760] That's what happened.
[00:43:25.760 --> 00:43:27.120] So we started to scream.
[00:43:27.120 --> 00:43:32.480] We screamed seven women in a room downstairs, conference room.
[00:43:32.480 --> 00:43:32.880] Yeah.
[00:43:33.440 --> 00:43:35.840] In the business, like in like a big hotel here.
[00:43:35.840 --> 00:43:37.040] I thought we were going to get kicked out.
[00:43:37.040 --> 00:43:40.960] I 100% was so stressed out for those 30 seconds.
[00:43:40.960 --> 00:43:42.240] It was doing the opposite.
[00:43:42.240 --> 00:43:45.760] We were screaming and some of them were like really enjoying it.
[00:43:45.760 --> 00:43:46.080] Okay.
[00:43:46.400 --> 00:43:47.520] Oh, they were startled too.
[00:43:47.640 --> 00:43:49.680] There were some that were like a little too much.
[00:43:49.680 --> 00:43:50.800] I'm like, girl, you've done this.
[00:43:50.800 --> 00:43:51.680] You do this a lot.
[00:43:51.680 --> 00:43:53.200] Like, don't just be like, I'm not doing this.
[00:43:53.440 --> 00:43:55.400] Or it's like we were giving them permission to just do it.
[00:43:55.520 --> 00:43:55.760] I know.
[00:43:55.760 --> 00:43:57.520] And then some were like, okay, I can do this.
[00:43:57.520 --> 00:43:58.240] I can do this.
[00:43:58.240 --> 00:43:59.880] Some were just like, okay, we'll do the stomping.
[00:43:59.880 --> 00:44:00.200] Like me.
[00:44:00.200 --> 00:44:01.800] I was like, this shit is weird.
[00:44:01.800 --> 00:44:03.560] And then I was just worried to get kicked out.
[00:44:03.560 --> 00:44:04.680] 30 seconds is so long.
[00:43:59.760 --> 00:44:06.520] And then I just started laughing.
[00:44:06.840 --> 00:44:08.440] So it actually turned into laughter.
[00:44:08.680 --> 00:44:12.360] It came into silliness for me because I was like, this is so ridiculous.
[00:44:12.360 --> 00:44:12.840] So ridiculous.
[00:44:13.080 --> 00:44:18.280] And I can see where that's really helpful to do.
[00:44:18.600 --> 00:44:21.400] And I would be more open to doing it in a pillow.
[00:44:21.400 --> 00:44:22.040] Okay, yeah.
[00:44:22.120 --> 00:44:22.440] I'm going to do that.
[00:44:22.520 --> 00:44:23.800] Yeah, I'm going to try that.
[00:44:23.800 --> 00:44:33.960] Well, that's what a lot of my corporate girlies, they're like, I bring my pillow that I sit with on my desk and I take it to the bathroom when somebody has said something.
[00:44:34.280 --> 00:44:35.160] And there you go.
[00:44:35.160 --> 00:44:40.040] Or like squeezing, you know, you take a towel and you're just squeezing it.
[00:44:40.040 --> 00:44:48.040] Same thing, but you're releasing the energy in a healthy way instead of letting it out on people.
[00:44:48.280 --> 00:44:48.600] I know.
[00:44:49.160 --> 00:44:52.680] It's actually, so it's finding these pockets of whatever works for you.
[00:44:52.680 --> 00:44:53.000] Right.
[00:44:53.000 --> 00:44:55.160] So whatever, there's like so many tools that you gave us.
[00:44:55.160 --> 00:44:56.520] They were so great.
[00:44:56.520 --> 00:45:00.600] And I really like the stat that you, one of the ones that really stuck out for me was laughter.
[00:45:01.000 --> 00:45:03.000] Because I do, I love to laugh.
[00:45:03.000 --> 00:45:03.320] Oh, yeah.
[00:45:03.800 --> 00:45:04.520] I love to laugh.
[00:45:04.520 --> 00:45:04.840] Yeah.
[00:45:04.840 --> 00:45:09.560] So kids giggle three to 400 times a day.
[00:45:09.560 --> 00:45:10.200] A day.
[00:45:10.200 --> 00:45:12.760] And adults only do it 10 to 12.
[00:45:12.760 --> 00:45:13.560] How sad are we?
[00:45:13.880 --> 00:45:15.880] 10 to 12 times.
[00:45:15.880 --> 00:45:18.680] And that's so sad.
[00:45:18.680 --> 00:45:19.560] It really is.
[00:45:19.720 --> 00:45:20.600] It is so sad.
[00:45:20.600 --> 00:45:24.520] Well, because we take ourselves so seriously and we take everything so seriously.
[00:45:24.520 --> 00:45:33.240] So I wonder if instead we get stuck in the suck, if we, you know, you can put on a clip or to some of the memes you share with your besties.
[00:45:33.240 --> 00:45:34.760] That's why your besties need those memes.
[00:45:34.760 --> 00:45:35.320] Done.
[00:45:35.320 --> 00:45:35.480] Okay.
[00:45:35.480 --> 00:45:39.240] So the doom strolling can work just if I'm doing really fun, funny, funny memes.
[00:45:39.240 --> 00:45:40.120] I do laugh out loud.
[00:45:40.120 --> 00:45:41.720] So when I do watch them, I'll do laugh out.
[00:45:41.720 --> 00:45:42.720] Like, I'll laugh out loud.
[00:45:42.680 --> 00:45:43.520] See, that's good.
[00:45:43.960 --> 00:45:49.920] These tools are so helpful and such a great reminder for all of us as busy moms, busy entrepreneurs.
[00:45:50.080 --> 00:45:53.840] Like there's so many decisions to make all day long.
[00:45:54.160 --> 00:46:06.080] I do feel a little crazy at the end of the day and I feel guilty then when I'm like not perfectly there and I want to be and just finding these little pockets through the day is something that I promise Nita I'm going to start prioritizing.
[00:46:06.080 --> 00:46:07.120] I'm going to report back to you.
[00:46:07.120 --> 00:46:07.520] Please do.
[00:46:07.600 --> 00:46:12.880] I'm going to report back to you and say, okay, how has the scrolling been at night or how are the wine cravings been better?
[00:46:12.880 --> 00:46:33.840] I do know 100% that like when my work is stressful because I have, I had a period where for like two years I was or about a year where I had this crazy, like I went from like a super executive workload of like 80 hours a week, like nonstop doing all the things to where it stopped.
[00:46:33.840 --> 00:46:37.840] Like I exited the company and then I was like in building mode, but I had more freedom of time.
[00:46:37.840 --> 00:46:40.320] Like it was like the best year of my life.
[00:46:40.320 --> 00:46:42.080] But did you take, you did take that time off.
[00:46:42.240 --> 00:46:46.400] It was like six months of real time off, like, but it wasn't that much time off until we were building again.
[00:46:46.400 --> 00:46:51.680] It was short-lived, but I was truly like yes, I was stress-free.
[00:46:51.680 --> 00:46:55.680] Like you could really tell my body, like that's when I like my health journey started.
[00:46:56.160 --> 00:47:00.720] Finally, the weight started coming off like just naturally, like just things were just sinking for me.
[00:47:01.600 --> 00:47:02.720] Yes, by cortisol.
[00:47:02.720 --> 00:47:08.320] I literally dropped seven pounds after my exit within eight months, not of changing anything.
[00:47:08.320 --> 00:47:08.640] Wow.
[00:47:08.640 --> 00:47:13.120] And I literally feel like it was 100% just cortisol.
[00:47:13.360 --> 00:47:17.120] Just like going into like the day-to-day of office life or startup life.
[00:47:17.280 --> 00:47:20.480] And the cortisol actually makes us more hungry, especially at night.
[00:47:20.480 --> 00:47:22.800] So, of course, then if that's already your cooking, all the things.
[00:47:23.120 --> 00:47:24.560] It's going to just keep adding up.
[00:47:24.560 --> 00:47:32.440] So, I do know that, like, and then that period of like, where now I'm back and now I'm like full, but I'm more conscious of it now.
[00:47:29.760 --> 00:47:35.320] And I appreciate these tools because I have better coping mechanisms.
[00:47:35.400 --> 00:47:37.640] And now, so do you, thanks to Dr.
[00:47:37.640 --> 00:47:38.200] Anita.
[00:47:38.200 --> 00:47:44.120] So, yes, that sucked, and that's important to acknowledge, to release, to not keep in inside.
[00:47:44.120 --> 00:47:45.560] That just makes a lot of sense.
[00:47:45.560 --> 00:47:46.040] Of course.
[00:47:46.040 --> 00:47:47.960] That's what they should teach us as parents.
[00:47:47.960 --> 00:47:50.600] Like, I literally let them be.
[00:47:50.920 --> 00:47:51.960] Yeah, let them be.
[00:47:51.960 --> 00:47:53.400] Yes, like, let them do it.
[00:47:53.400 --> 00:47:57.960] And I think is if we have issues about our kids crying or letting it's on us.
[00:47:57.960 --> 00:47:58.680] It is us.
[00:47:58.680 --> 00:47:59.400] It's our stuff.
[00:47:59.400 --> 00:48:00.120] It's our stuff.
[00:48:00.120 --> 00:48:00.920] And we have to clear it.
[00:48:01.400 --> 00:48:04.040] Yeah, it's because we're so exhausted because we're not releasing it.
[00:48:04.040 --> 00:48:06.200] And now we're like, mad them for releasing it.
[00:48:06.840 --> 00:48:07.480] Exactly.
[00:48:08.600 --> 00:48:09.960] They're just our mirrors.
[00:48:09.960 --> 00:48:12.040] You know, they're going to reflect back on what we need to do.
[00:48:12.280 --> 00:48:13.560] No, I love all these tools.
[00:48:13.560 --> 00:48:18.840] I'd love to hear from all of you what tools you are going to find little pockets of.
[00:48:18.840 --> 00:48:21.160] And if you haven't read That Sucked, Now What?
[00:48:21.480 --> 00:48:23.320] Adopt this mantra, get the book.
[00:48:23.320 --> 00:48:25.720] I'll be sharing everything onto the podcast.
[00:48:25.720 --> 00:48:28.280] But before I end it here, you moved to Dubai.
[00:48:28.280 --> 00:48:29.000] Oh my gosh, yes.
[00:48:29.240 --> 00:48:29.880] Crazy of all.
[00:48:30.040 --> 00:48:31.320] I can't wait for you to come and visit.
[00:48:31.800 --> 00:48:32.680] I can't wait.
[00:48:32.680 --> 00:48:33.640] I went to Dubai.
[00:48:33.880 --> 00:48:35.480] I've been to Dubai many times in my life.
[00:48:35.720 --> 00:48:36.120] You've spoken.
[00:48:36.520 --> 00:48:37.960] Yeah, I've done, I've done that.
[00:48:38.120 --> 00:48:43.160] I don't have, I have some family, distant family that's there.
[00:48:43.160 --> 00:48:52.360] But I used to go as a kid because I did have close family that lived in Dubai when Dubai was like up and coming and just growing.
[00:48:52.520 --> 00:48:59.720] And so I've had many wonderful memories in Dubai and it's so fun and so bougie and so flashy and all the things.
[00:49:00.040 --> 00:49:03.240] But I want to talk about your, like, what's next for you.
[00:49:03.240 --> 00:49:04.920] So, you've written four books.
[00:49:04.920 --> 00:49:10.600] You're, you know, taking a step back from like the, you know, doing all the coaching in Dharma Institute, all this stuff.
[00:49:10.600 --> 00:49:13.360] You moved to Dubai and you're like, I'm st
Prompt 2: Key Takeaways
Now please extract the key takeaways from the transcript content I provided.
Extract the most important key takeaways from this part of the conversation. Use a single sentence statement (the key takeaway) rather than milquetoast descriptions like "the hosts discuss...".
Limit the key takeaways to a maximum of 3. The key takeaways should be insightful and knowledge-additive.
IMPORTANT: Return ONLY valid JSON, no explanations or markdown. Ensure:
- All strings are properly quoted and escaped
- No trailing commas
- All braces and brackets are balanced
Format: {"key_takeaways": ["takeaway 1", "takeaway 2"]}
Prompt 3: Segments
Now identify 2-4 distinct topical segments from this part of the conversation.
For each segment, identify:
- Descriptive title (3-6 words)
- START timestamp when this topic begins (HH:MM:SS format)
- Double check that the timestamp is accurate - a timestamp will NEVER be greater than the total length of the audio
- Most important Key takeaway from that segment. Key takeaway must be specific and knowledge-additive.
- Brief summary of the discussion
IMPORTANT: The timestamp should mark when the topic/segment STARTS, not a range. Look for topic transitions and conversation shifts.
Return ONLY valid JSON. Ensure all strings are properly quoted, no trailing commas:
{
"segments": [
{
"segment_title": "Topic Discussion",
"timestamp": "01:15:30",
"key_takeaway": "main point from this segment",
"segment_summary": "brief description of what was discussed"
}
]
}
Timestamp format: HH:MM:SS (e.g., 00:05:30, 01:22:45) marking the START of each segment.
Now scan the transcript content I provided for ACTUAL mentions of specific media titles:
Find explicit mentions of:
- Books (with specific titles)
- Movies (with specific titles)
- TV Shows (with specific titles)
- Music/Songs (with specific titles)
DO NOT include:
- Websites, URLs, or web services
- Other podcasts or podcast names
IMPORTANT:
- Only include items explicitly mentioned by name. Do not invent titles.
- Valid categories are: "Book", "Movie", "TV Show", "Music"
- Include the exact phrase where each item was mentioned
- Find the nearest proximate timestamp where it appears in the conversation
- THE TIMESTAMP OF THE MEDIA MENTION IS IMPORTANT - DO NOT INVENT TIMESTAMPS AND DO NOT MISATTRIBUTE TIMESTAMPS
- Double check that the timestamp is accurate - a timestamp will NEVER be greater than the total length of the audio
- Timestamps are given as ranges, e.g. 01:13:42.520 --> 01:13:46.720. Use the EARLIER of the 2 timestamps in the range.
Return ONLY valid JSON. Ensure all strings are properly quoted and escaped, no trailing commas:
{
"media_mentions": [
{
"title": "Exact Title as Mentioned",
"category": "Book",
"author_artist": "N/A",
"context": "Brief context of why it was mentioned",
"context_phrase": "The exact sentence or phrase where it was mentioned",
"timestamp": "estimated time like 01:15:30"
}
]
}
If no media is mentioned, return: {"media_mentions": []}
Prompt 5: Context Setup
You are an expert data extractor tasked with analyzing a podcast transcript.
I will provide you with part 2 of 2 from a podcast transcript.
I will then ask you to extract different types of information from this content in subsequent messages. Please confirm you have received and understood the transcript content.
Transcript section:
e not releasing it.
[00:48:04.040 --> 00:48:06.200] And now we're like, mad them for releasing it.
[00:48:06.840 --> 00:48:07.480] Exactly.
[00:48:08.600 --> 00:48:09.960] They're just our mirrors.
[00:48:09.960 --> 00:48:12.040] You know, they're going to reflect back on what we need to do.
[00:48:12.280 --> 00:48:13.560] No, I love all these tools.
[00:48:13.560 --> 00:48:18.840] I'd love to hear from all of you what tools you are going to find little pockets of.
[00:48:18.840 --> 00:48:21.160] And if you haven't read That Sucked, Now What?
[00:48:21.480 --> 00:48:23.320] Adopt this mantra, get the book.
[00:48:23.320 --> 00:48:25.720] I'll be sharing everything onto the podcast.
[00:48:25.720 --> 00:48:28.280] But before I end it here, you moved to Dubai.
[00:48:28.280 --> 00:48:29.000] Oh my gosh, yes.
[00:48:29.240 --> 00:48:29.880] Crazy of all.
[00:48:30.040 --> 00:48:31.320] I can't wait for you to come and visit.
[00:48:31.800 --> 00:48:32.680] I can't wait.
[00:48:32.680 --> 00:48:33.640] I went to Dubai.
[00:48:33.880 --> 00:48:35.480] I've been to Dubai many times in my life.
[00:48:35.720 --> 00:48:36.120] You've spoken.
[00:48:36.520 --> 00:48:37.960] Yeah, I've done, I've done that.
[00:48:38.120 --> 00:48:43.160] I don't have, I have some family, distant family that's there.
[00:48:43.160 --> 00:48:52.360] But I used to go as a kid because I did have close family that lived in Dubai when Dubai was like up and coming and just growing.
[00:48:52.520 --> 00:48:59.720] And so I've had many wonderful memories in Dubai and it's so fun and so bougie and so flashy and all the things.
[00:49:00.040 --> 00:49:03.240] But I want to talk about your, like, what's next for you.
[00:49:03.240 --> 00:49:04.920] So, you've written four books.
[00:49:04.920 --> 00:49:10.600] You're, you know, taking a step back from like the, you know, doing all the coaching in Dharma Institute, all this stuff.
[00:49:10.600 --> 00:49:13.360] You moved to Dubai and you're like, I'm starting a new venture, and I want to hear.
[00:49:13.520 --> 00:49:14.480] Starting a new venture, yeah.
[00:49:14.720 --> 00:49:20.160] Well, it's helping women come back to these rituals to reset in their day.
[00:49:14.200 --> 00:49:21.360] And you know, I love chai.
[00:49:21.600 --> 00:49:22.160] I do.
[00:49:22.400 --> 00:49:23.520] I love chai.
[00:49:23.520 --> 00:49:28.880] I obviously geek out with all of the superfoods and the functional adaptogens.
[00:49:28.880 --> 00:49:38.960] And so I'm like, there's not one company that does it so that we can bring back ritual in our day for the busy go-getting mama.
[00:49:38.960 --> 00:49:42.080] So I've birthed Chaitonics.
[00:49:42.080 --> 00:49:53.840] It's actually in the works, but Chitonics is a luxury Ayurvedic, functional Ayurvedic wellness brand where we are doing powdered chai to support women in every season and stage of their life.
[00:49:53.840 --> 00:50:04.400] So, because I think that when we're getting into fertility, right, we start thinking about our hormones and all of these things, and if we have PCOS or like infertility.
[00:50:04.400 --> 00:50:11.200] And did you know that Shithavari is an Ayurvedic hormone that supports women and in every season and stage of their life?
[00:50:11.200 --> 00:50:16.080] So, just certain things of like brain fog and how Ashwagandha supports that.
[00:50:16.080 --> 00:50:20.960] So, I was tinkering a lot with my own chai, and that's how I've made it for many years.
[00:50:20.960 --> 00:50:27.280] I've also used chai as a ritual and a reset to reset my nervous system, especially when my babies were little.
[00:50:27.280 --> 00:50:32.160] I wouldn't meditate, but I would like crush the herbs to make my chai, and that was my seven-minute ritual.
[00:50:32.160 --> 00:50:36.880] And for people who've been following me for a while, they know that and they've seen the recipes and they've seen that.
[00:50:36.880 --> 00:50:39.040] And I'm like, there's something here.
[00:50:39.200 --> 00:50:39.840] It makes sense.
[00:50:39.840 --> 00:50:40.480] It makes sense.
[00:50:40.480 --> 00:50:46.160] And I want like the, there's so much knowledge and history in Ayurveda, right?
[00:50:46.160 --> 00:50:53.280] Like, the like now, as educated as we've become, like, we want, I want to have cleaner products.
[00:50:53.360 --> 00:50:57.680] I want to heal through natural ingredients and not through medication.
[00:50:58.000 --> 00:51:07.000] And so, if there's natural things for hair growth, for anxiety, or for hair loss, you know, and that's something like I do know, like, my mom always has a remedy for something.
[00:51:07.400 --> 00:51:11.000] She's probably been hair oiling, rosemary oil.
[00:51:11.160 --> 00:51:15.480] She'll take and she'll create these really cool tonics for my dreams.
[00:51:15.800 --> 00:51:19.000] Yes, when we're sick, right, with turmeric and with ginger.
[00:51:19.000 --> 00:51:27.160] And there's so much, there's so much science in this ancient history of Ayurveda that I think it's the right time.
[00:51:27.160 --> 00:51:29.320] And it's so, I love chai tonics.
[00:51:29.320 --> 00:51:30.600] I'm so excited for this.
[00:51:30.600 --> 00:51:31.160] Thank you.
[00:51:31.160 --> 00:51:35.240] Yeah, no, stepping into CPG world and value.
[00:51:35.240 --> 00:51:39.480] We've got an army full of awesome businesswomen that can support that CPG growth.
[00:51:39.480 --> 00:51:40.120] Let's go.
[00:51:40.120 --> 00:51:40.760] Let's do it.
[00:51:40.760 --> 00:51:48.520] I'm ready to learn all the things because, honestly, I've done all the things with books and digital products.
[00:51:48.520 --> 00:51:49.960] Physical products, though?
[00:51:49.960 --> 00:51:50.760] It's going to be great.
[00:51:51.160 --> 00:51:52.760] This is different, but I'm excited.
[00:51:52.760 --> 00:51:57.800] You know, every bit, I'll tell you, I'll give this advice to you as I would to any woman doing business.
[00:51:57.800 --> 00:51:58.280] Please.
[00:51:58.280 --> 00:52:06.280] It doesn't matter the product, whether you're a product-based company, you're a service-based company, you're a coach, whatever it is, business fundamentals are the same.
[00:52:06.600 --> 00:52:08.600] So you can apply those same business fundamentals.
[00:52:08.600 --> 00:52:12.520] You've already scaled multiple companies, you've taken them to multi-millions.
[00:52:12.520 --> 00:52:14.840] Like this is the same exact thing.
[00:52:14.840 --> 00:52:16.680] The playbook is the same.
[00:52:17.240 --> 00:52:18.920] The ingredients are a little different.
[00:52:19.160 --> 00:52:19.320] Right?
[00:52:19.320 --> 00:52:24.040] Like, ingredients are different, but it's still the same recipe, and you've got that recipe.
[00:52:24.040 --> 00:52:24.680] So that's chai.
[00:52:24.760 --> 00:52:26.040] Let's bring it back to the chai recipe.
[00:52:27.240 --> 00:52:29.000] I am so glad that we got to do this.
[00:52:29.000 --> 00:52:32.520] And I want to say hi to the Brave Table audience because I know that they're listening here too.
[00:52:32.760 --> 00:52:33.320] They are listening.
[00:52:33.480 --> 00:52:36.520] And I was on your show not too long ago.
[00:52:36.520 --> 00:52:41.160] And so I know you got a chance to hear my story, but I really, I'm sure you're learning again from Nita.
[00:52:41.160 --> 00:52:46.320] So welcome to the Brave Table audience that's listening today and to all of our audience.
[00:52:46.320 --> 00:52:47.040] We're so excited.
[00:52:47.040 --> 00:52:48.720] I hope you guys all took away something.
[00:52:48.720 --> 00:52:49.680] I'm going to go practice.
[00:52:44.520 --> 00:52:50.640] I'll report back.
[00:52:50.960 --> 00:52:53.680] And we'll see you guys next time on The SEO School.
[00:52:53.680 --> 00:52:54.560] Bye, everyone.
[00:52:54.560 --> 00:52:55.360] Woo!
[00:53:02.080 --> 00:53:03.280] Mazda?
[00:53:03.280 --> 00:53:07.760] Once you discover the Mazda CX90 plug-in hybrid, Mazda.
[00:53:07.760 --> 00:53:09.280] It doesn't take long to get it.
[00:53:09.280 --> 00:53:15.600] With three rows, a luxurious interior, and the ability to go all electric, it's flexible enough for nearly any journey.
[00:53:15.600 --> 00:53:20.320] It will have you saying, Mazda, the Mazda CX-90 plug-in hybrid.
[00:53:20.320 --> 00:53:21.920] It's made to move you.
[00:53:21.920 --> 00:53:27.920] Every Mazda SUV offers you an elevated driving experience and refined performance.
[00:53:27.920 --> 00:53:30.880] Discover it at Mazda White Plains.
[00:53:32.080 --> 00:53:34.800] Martha listens to her favorite band all the time.
[00:53:34.800 --> 00:53:40.000] In the car, gym, even sleeping.
[00:53:40.320 --> 00:53:45.120] So when they finally went on tour, Martha bundled her flight and hotel on Expedia to see them live.
[00:53:45.120 --> 00:53:49.680] She saved so much, she got a seat close enough to actually see and hear them.
[00:53:50.320 --> 00:53:51.440] Sort of.
[00:53:51.440 --> 00:53:53.680] You were made to scream from the front row.
[00:53:53.680 --> 00:53:55.920] We were made to quietly save you more.
[00:53:55.920 --> 00:53:58.240] Expedia, made to travel.
[00:53:58.240 --> 00:54:01.840] Savings vary and subject to availability, flight inclusive packages are at all protected.
Prompt 6: Key Takeaways
Now please extract the key takeaways from the transcript content I provided.
Extract the most important key takeaways from this part of the conversation. Use a single sentence statement (the key takeaway) rather than milquetoast descriptions like "the hosts discuss...".
Limit the key takeaways to a maximum of 3. The key takeaways should be insightful and knowledge-additive.
IMPORTANT: Return ONLY valid JSON, no explanations or markdown. Ensure:
- All strings are properly quoted and escaped
- No trailing commas
- All braces and brackets are balanced
Format: {"key_takeaways": ["takeaway 1", "takeaway 2"]}
Prompt 7: Segments
Now identify 2-4 distinct topical segments from this part of the conversation.
For each segment, identify:
- Descriptive title (3-6 words)
- START timestamp when this topic begins (HH:MM:SS format)
- Double check that the timestamp is accurate - a timestamp will NEVER be greater than the total length of the audio
- Most important Key takeaway from that segment. Key takeaway must be specific and knowledge-additive.
- Brief summary of the discussion
IMPORTANT: The timestamp should mark when the topic/segment STARTS, not a range. Look for topic transitions and conversation shifts.
Return ONLY valid JSON. Ensure all strings are properly quoted, no trailing commas:
{
"segments": [
{
"segment_title": "Topic Discussion",
"timestamp": "01:15:30",
"key_takeaway": "main point from this segment",
"segment_summary": "brief description of what was discussed"
}
]
}
Timestamp format: HH:MM:SS (e.g., 00:05:30, 01:22:45) marking the START of each segment.
Now scan the transcript content I provided for ACTUAL mentions of specific media titles:
Find explicit mentions of:
- Books (with specific titles)
- Movies (with specific titles)
- TV Shows (with specific titles)
- Music/Songs (with specific titles)
DO NOT include:
- Websites, URLs, or web services
- Other podcasts or podcast names
IMPORTANT:
- Only include items explicitly mentioned by name. Do not invent titles.
- Valid categories are: "Book", "Movie", "TV Show", "Music"
- Include the exact phrase where each item was mentioned
- Find the nearest proximate timestamp where it appears in the conversation
- THE TIMESTAMP OF THE MEDIA MENTION IS IMPORTANT - DO NOT INVENT TIMESTAMPS AND DO NOT MISATTRIBUTE TIMESTAMPS
- Double check that the timestamp is accurate - a timestamp will NEVER be greater than the total length of the audio
- Timestamps are given as ranges, e.g. 01:13:42.520 --> 01:13:46.720. Use the EARLIER of the 2 timestamps in the range.
Return ONLY valid JSON. Ensure all strings are properly quoted and escaped, no trailing commas:
{
"media_mentions": [
{
"title": "Exact Title as Mentioned",
"category": "Book",
"author_artist": "N/A",
"context": "Brief context of why it was mentioned",
"context_phrase": "The exact sentence or phrase where it was mentioned",
"timestamp": "estimated time like 01:15:30"
}
]
}
If no media is mentioned, return: {"media_mentions": []}
Full Transcript
[00:00:00.960 --> 00:00:07.200] A mochi moment from Mark, who writes, I just want to thank you for making GOP1s affordable.
[00:00:07.200 --> 00:00:12.160] What would have been over $1,000 a month is just $99 a month with Mochi.
[00:00:12.160 --> 00:00:14.640] Money shouldn't be a barrier to healthy weight.
[00:00:14.640 --> 00:00:17.920] Three months in, and I have smaller jeans and a bigger wallet.
[00:00:17.920 --> 00:00:19.120] You're the best.
[00:00:19.120 --> 00:00:20.240] Thanks, Mark.
[00:00:20.240 --> 00:00:23.120] I'm Myra Ameth, founder of Mochi Health.
[00:00:23.120 --> 00:00:27.040] To find your Mochi Moment, visit joinmochi.com.
[00:00:27.040 --> 00:00:30.240] Mark is a mochi member compensated for his story.
[00:00:30.560 --> 00:00:34.640] Taking on a DIY job around the house is the ultimate summer project.
[00:00:34.640 --> 00:00:42.480] But if your DIY home security system is a beware of dog sign, when your real pet is Princess the Cat, that's safe-ish.
[00:00:42.480 --> 00:00:47.200] To be actually safe, help protect your home with a DIY system from ADT.
[00:00:47.200 --> 00:00:52.080] It's easy to install and gives you virtual assistance from ADT's technical support team.
[00:00:52.080 --> 00:00:55.840] Best of all, you can tell everyone in the neighborhood you set it up yourself.
[00:00:55.840 --> 00:00:58.640] Don't settle for safe-ish this summer.
[00:00:58.640 --> 00:01:00.880] DIY with ADT instead.
[00:01:00.880 --> 00:01:04.320] Visit ADT.com to learn more.
[00:01:13.280 --> 00:01:20.640] Hi, I'm Sonara Madani, a mom of two, daughter of an immigrant, and an unlikely entrepreneur who built a billion-dollar business.
[00:01:20.640 --> 00:01:22.160] Yes, billion.
[00:01:22.160 --> 00:01:25.520] Now I'm doing it again and building my second unicorn, work.
[00:01:26.240 --> 00:01:33.120] Shockingly, less than 2% of female founders ever reach $1 million in revenue, and I'm on a mission to change that.
[00:01:33.120 --> 00:01:39.280] At CEO School, we mentor thousands of women to help them level up in business and in life.
[00:01:39.280 --> 00:01:45.440] We believe that you deserve to have it all because honestly, nothing bad happens when women make more money.
[00:01:45.440 --> 00:01:46.160] More money.
[00:01:46.160 --> 00:01:49.280] Grab a seat because class is officially in session.
[00:01:49.280 --> 00:01:51.840] Welcome to CEO School.
[00:01:54.080 --> 00:01:54.880] Hi, everyone.
[00:01:54.880 --> 00:01:56.720] Welcome back to the CEO School podcast.
[00:01:56.720 --> 00:02:07.880] I'm your host, Sonarama Madani, and we are here in Orlando, Florida, which we're always here in Orlando, Florida, so I don't know why I'm saying that, but we are here live from Millionaire Founders Club Conference.
[00:02:07.880 --> 00:02:14.120] It is our spring retreat, and we just finished an incredible session and keynote for my dear friend, Dr.
[00:02:14.120 --> 00:02:17.160] Nita Bouchon, which you know her.
[00:02:17.160 --> 00:02:18.360] She's been on the show.
[00:02:18.360 --> 00:02:21.240] Her book, That Sucked, Now What?
[00:02:21.960 --> 00:02:25.240] We had you on the show a couple years ago when your book launched.
[00:02:25.240 --> 00:02:29.080] I've been on your show, and you just finished the most phenomenal, phenomenal keynote.
[00:02:29.080 --> 00:02:34.040] So I want to bring you guys behind the scenes of the conversations that we're having with these incredible.
[00:02:34.040 --> 00:02:37.800] There's about 107-plus-figure CEOs here.
[00:02:37.800 --> 00:02:41.800] Everyone is just so heartfelt, so vulnerable.
[00:02:41.800 --> 00:02:44.760] The conversations are real and happening.
[00:02:44.760 --> 00:02:48.920] And we decided, why not bring it live to all of you?
[00:02:48.920 --> 00:02:49.400] So, Dr.
[00:02:49.400 --> 00:02:51.080] Anita just got off stage.
[00:02:51.080 --> 00:02:54.280] We pulled her aside, and I'm just so excited to have you.
[00:02:54.280 --> 00:03:04.040] Oh my gosh, I am, I just wanted to say, like, yesterday, when I walked into the room, obviously I was so late, and I was discombobulated.
[00:03:04.040 --> 00:03:05.640] Well, she just flew in from Dubai, y'all.
[00:03:05.640 --> 00:03:09.160] So, like, okay, like literally, you flew in from halfway across the world.
[00:03:09.160 --> 00:03:09.800] They're just insane.
[00:03:10.600 --> 00:03:12.520] That's how cool, like, girl friendships are.
[00:03:13.000 --> 00:03:14.200] This is what it is.
[00:03:14.200 --> 00:03:18.680] And to just be greeted with so much warmth, and everyone's introducing themselves.
[00:03:18.680 --> 00:03:22.120] And I was like, oh my gosh, okay, I've got to get in my flow.
[00:03:22.440 --> 00:03:23.960] Can't be jet lagged right now.
[00:03:23.960 --> 00:03:30.840] But the amount of warmth and the fact that you know everyone's story so close, like this is the beauty of community.
[00:03:30.840 --> 00:03:31.720] And this is the beauty.
[00:03:31.720 --> 00:03:35.320] And not just any community, though, but like everyone is so badass.
[00:03:35.320 --> 00:03:37.400] Everyone is so down to earth.
[00:03:37.400 --> 00:03:41.400] Everyone just leads with their heart, but you know, they're baddies and whatever they're doing.
[00:03:41.400 --> 00:03:43.080] And then they're fabulous too.
[00:03:43.080 --> 00:03:47.680] And then they, you know, they're fashionistas, and some of many of them are mamas.
[00:03:47.840 --> 00:03:55.040] And so I'm like, wow, to be greeted like that because not, and I share this on stage, not every room is like that.
[00:03:55.040 --> 00:03:59.840] And you and I have both, you know, been in a lot of rooms, been in a lot of rooms, talked about those things.
[00:03:59.840 --> 00:04:05.600] We've even shared like why is it that sometimes you go into a room and you don't feel safe.
[00:04:05.600 --> 00:04:07.520] But I do want to say it's a testament to you.
[00:04:07.520 --> 00:04:08.640] Oh, it really is.
[00:04:08.640 --> 00:04:20.640] It's a testament to your bigness, but you're also like you're walking the talk and everyone is there because they feel that they get inspired by it.
[00:04:20.640 --> 00:04:22.640] You're just changing that.
[00:04:22.640 --> 00:04:30.880] So if you aren't in, this is not a plug for Millionaire Founders Club, but I truly, and I'm a community builder as well.
[00:04:30.880 --> 00:04:32.400] And so I see you.
[00:04:32.400 --> 00:04:34.240] And I see the big part.
[00:04:34.560 --> 00:04:35.040] Thank you.
[00:04:35.040 --> 00:04:39.120] It means a lot coming from you because I know how special your community is.
[00:04:39.120 --> 00:04:40.480] And it does.
[00:04:40.480 --> 00:04:42.800] I really just, I feel so proud of this group.
[00:04:42.800 --> 00:04:45.360] This has been a labor of love.
[00:04:45.360 --> 00:04:47.840] Like anything, whenever you build anything, it's a labor of love.
[00:04:47.840 --> 00:04:53.760] But the one thing that I always want people to feel, and I even try to do that for the show, like I want, and that's why it's my home.
[00:04:53.760 --> 00:04:55.760] Like I want you to feel like you're coming home.
[00:04:55.760 --> 00:04:57.680] Like this is a safe space.
[00:04:57.680 --> 00:05:01.920] Like this is friends having chai, which is like what we're literally what we're doing.
[00:05:01.920 --> 00:05:07.360] Having tea, having coffee, having a glass of wine, having whatever, having a tonic, like whatever works for you.
[00:05:07.360 --> 00:05:12.240] But you're welcome into this space and everybody has a seat at the table.
[00:05:12.240 --> 00:05:19.360] And the table is big enough for all of us and it's diverse and it's open and we are truly learning and growing from each other.
[00:05:19.360 --> 00:05:26.800] And this group of MFC started because I really truly felt like I wanted a place to have my own peer group.
[00:05:26.800 --> 00:05:32.200] And I didn't want to have to pay massive amounts to pay for, like, to like pay for friends.
[00:05:32.200 --> 00:05:32.520] Yeah.
[00:05:32.520 --> 00:05:32.760] Right?
[00:05:29.760 --> 00:05:33.640] Like I wanted to learn.
[00:05:33.800 --> 00:05:38.200] I wanted to have a space where we can get together, where it was accessible.
[00:05:38.200 --> 00:05:42.440] And I wanted to have like conversations that were beyond just.
[00:05:42.760 --> 00:05:45.320] you know, beyond just business too.
[00:05:45.320 --> 00:05:49.400] So there's like a point in business and they're mostly there's business, there's business scale.
[00:05:49.400 --> 00:06:07.160] But once you're kind of past the, you know, seven figure mark or the multi-seven figure mark, you're trying, the conversations are also about lifestyle and wealth creation and time freedom and just so many other things that I wasn't getting in some of my, like for sure in the tech spaces and the bro spaces.
[00:06:07.160 --> 00:06:15.240] But even as part of like some of the other women's groups, like I just sometimes never felt that it was, it was a very similar voice all across the table.
[00:06:15.240 --> 00:06:20.600] And I love learning from all different kinds of industries or art because there's so much happening across it.
[00:06:20.600 --> 00:06:21.080] Totally.
[00:06:21.080 --> 00:06:27.640] And I feel like a lot of those, like you say, like the challenges, the struggles are all the same.
[00:06:27.640 --> 00:06:28.040] Yes.
[00:06:28.040 --> 00:06:38.440] And I feel like if we aren't kind of open in those communities or if everyone is saying the same thing because they're wearing the mask, they have the filters on, they have the thing that they're...
[00:06:38.520 --> 00:06:39.880] They don't want to share because it's competitive.
[00:06:39.880 --> 00:06:41.000] It's either competitive, right?
[00:06:41.160 --> 00:06:42.200] That was the thing that was happening.
[00:06:42.200 --> 00:06:42.360] Yes.
[00:06:42.680 --> 00:06:52.040] Or they feel like I felt like it was gatekeeping because it was like insecurity of like, well, I'm sharing these vanity metrics, but I don't want to go behind the scenes because it's actually not where it's at.
[00:06:52.040 --> 00:06:55.880] But then it causes the whole group to be like overcompensating.
[00:06:55.880 --> 00:07:07.160] And so there was just, and it's not to discount, I've loved so many rooms that I've been in, but I do feel that because there's like, it's industry agnostic, it's like everyone's still at a certain threshold.
[00:07:07.160 --> 00:07:15.520] However, with that, there's no competitiveness or the lack, there's no point in me not sharing my playbook because there's no competitive nature to it.
[00:07:15.520 --> 00:07:17.360] It's not, it's going to be helpful to you.
[00:07:17.360 --> 00:07:17.680] Right.
[00:07:17.680 --> 00:07:19.680] You know, and so it's just a different conversation.
[00:07:14.920 --> 00:07:20.640] It's so different.
[00:07:20.800 --> 00:07:27.040] And I felt that it was just everything and everyone was just so amazing.
[00:07:27.040 --> 00:07:31.120] And even today on stage, it was like, I think I shared something, one of my slides.
[00:07:31.120 --> 00:07:35.040] I'm like, okay, we got to create the container for safety because we're doing some crazy things.
[00:07:35.040 --> 00:07:36.160] I made you guys scream.
[00:07:36.160 --> 00:07:41.040] Yes, which I'm going to, we're going to, we're going to unpack your section here for these ladies right now.
[00:07:41.040 --> 00:07:51.600] So that was the most uncomfortable thing I have ever done was to scream out loud for 30 straight seconds with everyone like watching.
[00:07:51.600 --> 00:07:52.400] I'm proud of you.
[00:07:52.400 --> 00:07:52.960] I, I.
[00:07:53.600 --> 00:07:56.960] There were a few in the front, and I get always the few in the front that they just they don't.
[00:07:57.200 --> 00:07:57.680] No, no, no.
[00:07:57.840 --> 00:07:58.160] I did.
[00:07:58.160 --> 00:07:58.720] I did it.
[00:07:58.720 --> 00:08:00.080] And it felt really great afterwards.
[00:08:00.400 --> 00:08:01.600] I'm going to unpack that in a second.
[00:08:02.560 --> 00:08:03.760] But actually, I was laughing.
[00:08:04.160 --> 00:08:06.560] Okay, so like I couldn't laugh at the first laughing part.
[00:08:06.560 --> 00:08:06.880] Yes.
[00:08:06.880 --> 00:08:07.920] Well, we're going to unpack it.
[00:08:07.920 --> 00:08:10.480] But I was totally like, as soon as I screamed, then I started laughing.
[00:08:10.480 --> 00:08:12.560] I'm like, there's the laugh that I was looking for in the first session.
[00:08:12.800 --> 00:08:13.280] Yes, of course.
[00:08:13.520 --> 00:08:16.960] Your session, let's just go there because your session was so great.
[00:08:17.200 --> 00:08:18.240] I invited Dr.
[00:08:18.240 --> 00:08:30.160] Nita because you are just, if you don't know who she is, we're going to link the last episode for you so that you can catch up on her story and the book That Sucks Now What.
[00:08:30.400 --> 00:08:35.840] But if you can kind of just take the audience, give us a little like recap and refresher on you've written four books.
[00:08:35.840 --> 00:08:40.480] You have a top, like literally topics, health and wellness.
[00:08:40.480 --> 00:08:42.560] Like literally, you have such a hard category.
[00:08:42.560 --> 00:08:43.680] It's a hard category.
[00:08:43.680 --> 00:08:44.960] I mean, well, we rank.
[00:08:45.120 --> 00:08:45.760] World speaker.
[00:08:45.760 --> 00:08:46.680] I'm going to bring it to you for a speaker.
[00:08:46.800 --> 00:08:47.200] Oh my gosh.
[00:08:47.200 --> 00:08:47.520] Go ahead.
[00:08:47.520 --> 00:08:48.000] Go ahead.
[00:08:48.000 --> 00:08:50.400] Like, literally, world-renowned speaker.
[00:08:50.400 --> 00:08:52.240] You own multiple businesses.
[00:08:52.240 --> 00:08:54.720] You are the creator of a health institute.
[00:08:54.720 --> 00:09:04.120] You've certified 3,000 women and coaches to help their communities with health and wellness and Dharma, the Dharma Institute.
[00:08:59.840 --> 00:09:06.120] You've literally accomplished so much.
[00:09:06.440 --> 00:09:09.480] And your biggest accomplishment is that you're a mom of two.
[00:09:09.640 --> 00:09:11.880] Oh, you are the sweetest mom of two.
[00:09:11.880 --> 00:09:13.720] And you are, she is such.
[00:09:14.040 --> 00:09:16.920] We've been insta friends for the last several years.
[00:09:16.920 --> 00:09:17.320] We have.
[00:09:17.320 --> 00:09:20.520] But she is that insta friend that she used to live in Austin.
[00:09:20.520 --> 00:09:23.800] And I go down to Austin every year for South by Southwest.
[00:09:23.800 --> 00:09:31.000] She learned that and literally opened up her home to me to say, I'm actually out of town, but don't book a hotel.
[00:09:31.000 --> 00:09:32.200] Come stay with me.
[00:09:32.200 --> 00:09:33.880] And I'll catch you for like 10 minutes.
[00:09:33.880 --> 00:09:37.160] And then you can stay and like, you know, sleep in my bed.
[00:09:37.240 --> 00:09:38.120] Like just hang out.
[00:09:38.120 --> 00:09:38.680] Hang out.
[00:09:38.680 --> 00:09:39.640] Use the pool.
[00:09:39.640 --> 00:09:40.360] Whatever you need.
[00:09:40.360 --> 00:09:44.040] And like that, like, this just tells you a lot about who she is.
[00:09:44.040 --> 00:09:45.000] And you are that person.
[00:09:45.000 --> 00:09:46.280] You flew all the way from Dubai.
[00:09:46.280 --> 00:09:51.640] So you moved from LA to Austin with your, with your, with when you had number two.
[00:09:51.880 --> 00:09:55.800] And then now you are raising your children in Dubai.
[00:09:55.800 --> 00:09:59.640] So we need to like unpack that as well, this international move.
[00:09:59.640 --> 00:10:00.600] Oh my gosh, yes.
[00:10:00.600 --> 00:10:01.640] Okay, so that was the intro.
[00:10:01.640 --> 00:10:03.400] So I gave your intros.
[00:10:03.480 --> 00:10:04.280] You're really good at that.
[00:10:04.280 --> 00:10:04.680] You're really good at that.
[00:10:04.840 --> 00:10:05.640] I'm a podcast host.
[00:10:05.640 --> 00:10:07.480] I've been doing this for five years now.
[00:10:07.480 --> 00:10:08.200] Five years now.
[00:10:08.200 --> 00:10:09.480] I can give an intro.
[00:10:09.480 --> 00:10:14.360] She is a true, just your trailbraiser, and your story is incredible.
[00:10:14.360 --> 00:10:19.320] Tell us about your, like, tell us a little bit about the That Sucks.
[00:10:19.320 --> 00:10:19.880] Now what?
[00:10:20.200 --> 00:10:22.840] Yeah, so I feel like, you know, it's been a mantra.
[00:10:22.840 --> 00:10:29.480] It's been a mantra that to give people, and now I've, gosh, you know, thousands and thousands of copies.
[00:10:29.480 --> 00:10:39.720] The way that it started was when I became a mama, I went through, and I don't know if we talked about it the first episode, but I went through crazy postpartum depression.
[00:10:39.720 --> 00:10:42.360] And I didn't realize what that was.
[00:10:42.360 --> 00:10:47.680] I just thought that, you know, my in-laws, bless them, they're, you know, from India, they're from Jaipur.
[00:10:47.680 --> 00:10:48.640] They were coming to the U.S.
[00:10:44.920 --> 00:10:49.920] for the very, very first time.
[00:10:50.240 --> 00:10:56.960] So I literally went into my good girl, like, had to be good girl, good daughter kind of a thing.
[00:10:56.960 --> 00:11:03.920] Because my backstory is, I lost my parents and brother before I was, you know, before I was 20, before I was 19, actually.
[00:11:04.240 --> 00:11:07.760] And so, you know, having this full circle, full tilt into that.
[00:11:08.000 --> 00:11:09.520] Lost as in they passed away.
[00:11:09.520 --> 00:11:10.960] Lost as in they passed away.
[00:11:11.360 --> 00:11:12.480] All through like your three years.
[00:11:12.720 --> 00:11:13.520] Within three years.
[00:11:13.520 --> 00:11:16.400] Your mother, your father, your brother.
[00:11:17.120 --> 00:11:19.120] And your grandmother, too, within that.
[00:11:19.120 --> 00:11:25.920] So my grandmother actually was, was, she would have, was like 15 years later.
[00:11:25.920 --> 00:11:27.200] But yeah, she raised me, actually.
[00:11:27.200 --> 00:11:29.360] My grandmother, my Bua, my other aunts.
[00:11:29.680 --> 00:11:34.880] And so I was raised by matriarchs, but it was, you know, it was a tragic time.
[00:11:34.880 --> 00:11:46.320] And of course, as the women here know at CEO school, like you, you take those painful, you know, parts of you and you kind of feel them forward, or at least that was my.
[00:11:47.760 --> 00:11:52.400] Yeah, so my mom had breast cancer and it went into her lungs.
[00:11:52.400 --> 00:11:59.440] And now a lot of things that we know about Ayurveda, Chinese medicine, lungs means that's a sign of grief.
[00:11:59.440 --> 00:12:03.040] And she had lost her dad a few years before.
[00:12:03.040 --> 00:12:06.720] Actually, she lost a few people a few years before she got diagnosed.
[00:12:07.760 --> 00:12:10.560] And then she battled that for about six years.
[00:12:10.560 --> 00:12:16.800] And then a year after, my brother had an asthma attack at school.
[00:12:16.800 --> 00:12:22.720] And so he, so it was very, oh, it was, it was like, you're in the grief tunnel, the grief portal.
[00:12:22.720 --> 00:12:32.920] My dad, bless him, he was Punjabi, her dad from India, losing his wife, which, you know, to be a widow like that.
[00:12:33.320 --> 00:12:34.200] How old were you?
[00:12:34.200 --> 00:12:38.440] I was 16 when my mom passed.
[00:12:38.440 --> 00:12:41.400] So her journey of cancer kind of culminated.
[00:12:41.400 --> 00:12:47.480] She transitioned, and literally it was a year, it was immediately a year after my brother passed away.
[00:12:47.480 --> 00:12:49.400] And he was, you know, he was fine.
[00:12:49.400 --> 00:13:00.840] He was, and obviously now I get into more that esoteric side because I do believe, you know, in miracles, I believe in angels, I believe in just kind of there is another element.
[00:13:00.840 --> 00:13:02.920] And that was part of my healing journey.
[00:13:03.640 --> 00:13:05.720] And they were really close.
[00:13:05.720 --> 00:13:08.120] And so he also had an asthma attack.
[00:13:08.120 --> 00:13:11.240] Asthma also, lungs, grief, big grief.
[00:13:11.320 --> 00:13:12.520] How old was he?
[00:13:12.520 --> 00:13:14.200] He was, he was 15.
[00:13:14.200 --> 00:13:15.640] We were 16 months apart.
[00:13:15.800 --> 00:13:16.360] That was so close.
[00:13:16.360 --> 00:13:18.840] Yeah, so you and your brother remind me of mine.
[00:13:18.840 --> 00:13:19.720] That's so sad.
[00:13:19.720 --> 00:13:20.920] Yeah, so close.
[00:13:20.920 --> 00:13:27.960] And then, you know, my dad, just as a strong Indian, powerful, he was a serial entrepreneur as well, just went into deep depression.
[00:13:27.960 --> 00:13:31.240] So that means I just went into, okay, survival mode.
[00:13:31.240 --> 00:13:32.440] I talked about that.
[00:13:32.840 --> 00:13:35.160] And I think a lot of us do go into survival mode, right?
[00:13:35.160 --> 00:13:37.480] We think we're the only one that can do everything.
[00:13:37.480 --> 00:13:39.000] We're the only one that can hold the fort down.
[00:13:39.000 --> 00:13:40.040] We're the only one that can.
[00:13:40.360 --> 00:13:43.000] And so that was kind of the essence.
[00:13:43.000 --> 00:13:48.600] And also, you know, it took him to a very, you know, dark place.
[00:13:48.600 --> 00:13:54.120] And then he was diagnosed two years later with stage four, lung cancer.
[00:13:54.120 --> 00:13:55.000] Crazy.
[00:13:55.000 --> 00:13:55.800] Oh, my goodness.
[00:13:55.800 --> 00:13:57.000] Yeah, so grief.
[00:13:57.000 --> 00:14:03.640] So this has really informed my work around understanding your emotions, understanding your emotional health.
[00:14:03.640 --> 00:14:13.880] You know, especially as high achievers, we are taught, especially as women, to disconnect our heart from our head because, oh, we're not going to be taken seriously if we just are from the heart, right?
[00:14:13.880 --> 00:14:24.080] There's all these memes about somebody who loses their stuff in the boardroom, or you're called bitchy if you have, you know, boundaries and you have expectations.
[00:14:24.080 --> 00:14:29.440] And so I really wanted to unpack that for people that really became my life's mission.
[00:14:29.440 --> 00:14:34.640] I mean, throughout that, I became a cosmetic dentist because that's what you do when you have tiger parents.
[00:14:34.640 --> 00:14:40.400] And I think that was my first foray also into business building because I had to hustle when I was a teenager.
[00:14:40.400 --> 00:14:41.760] And so you were by yourself.
[00:14:42.080 --> 00:14:43.280] Yeah, I was by myself.
[00:14:43.280 --> 00:14:49.440] I mean, granted, as Filipino Indian families, we do have large families and I had a lot of extended family, family friends.
[00:14:49.600 --> 00:14:52.560] You're being so like, you're so brave about your story.
[00:14:52.560 --> 00:14:52.960] Thank you.
[00:14:52.960 --> 00:14:53.920] That is really hard.
[00:14:53.920 --> 00:14:54.720] Thank you.
[00:14:56.480 --> 00:15:06.560] I've always known your story because we've talked about it, but I actually didn't like connect the lung portion ever to all of that.
[00:15:06.880 --> 00:15:09.120] I mean, I have just chills right now.
[00:15:09.920 --> 00:15:16.800] You're such a brave young woman to like get, you know, to where you are today and now teaching so many people how to be brave.
[00:15:16.800 --> 00:15:17.440] And that's your podcast.
[00:15:17.440 --> 00:15:18.800] Your podcast is literally the brave table.
[00:15:18.960 --> 00:15:19.920] It's how to be brave.
[00:15:19.920 --> 00:15:20.480] How to be brave.
[00:15:20.800 --> 00:15:27.520] How to be brave to just chart out new frontiers, to reinvent yourself, to do the hard things, to choose our heart.
[00:15:27.520 --> 00:15:31.040] And I think that, you know, that's where it starts.
[00:15:31.840 --> 00:15:36.480] And so that's where that suck now what kind of became this mantra.
[00:15:36.480 --> 00:15:45.280] And because, you know, with the dualities of life, right, we're going to have the contrast, we're going to have the dark moments, we're going to have the sad moments.
[00:15:45.280 --> 00:15:47.440] But boy, did I have so much joy.
[00:15:47.440 --> 00:15:48.840] And I think that's what I want.
[00:15:48.920 --> 00:15:49.720] That's so nice to hear.
[00:15:49.960 --> 00:15:54.240] Lead with is the joy, because we brought the joy this morning.
[00:15:55.200 --> 00:15:59.200] And while I've had a, you know, the story is heavy.
[00:15:59.360 --> 00:15:59.960] It's heavy.
[00:15:59.680 --> 00:16:01.000] It's a lot, you guys.
[00:16:01.560 --> 00:16:10.280] I think the joy piece, that's what everyone knows me as, the joy bringer, the queen of reinvention, the queen of connection.
[00:16:10.280 --> 00:16:13.320] And it's because I see people as, you know.
[00:16:13.800 --> 00:16:15.240] How, how are you?
[00:16:15.400 --> 00:16:16.440] How are you that?
[00:16:16.440 --> 00:16:19.960] With that, and that's not even the end of the story, right?
[00:16:19.960 --> 00:16:26.280] Like, I mean, I think in the last episode, I think we did talk about leaving in the middle of the night from your ex-husband.
[00:16:26.280 --> 00:16:31.480] And then you had, you know, even, you know, making decisions, posts, like all of the, all of the things.
[00:16:31.480 --> 00:16:32.840] It's a heavy story.
[00:16:32.840 --> 00:16:33.880] And I don't want to.
[00:16:33.880 --> 00:16:34.440] It's heavy.
[00:16:34.760 --> 00:16:35.000] Yeah.
[00:16:35.800 --> 00:16:37.880] Today's episode isn't about that.
[00:16:37.880 --> 00:16:42.520] But how do you like show up the way that you do with such joy?
[00:16:42.520 --> 00:16:47.560] Because I don't know if I would be able to, it's like the smallest thing will happen.
[00:16:47.560 --> 00:16:50.120] And I internalize it so much.
[00:16:50.360 --> 00:16:51.960] And that feeling of that sucks.
[00:16:53.480 --> 00:16:54.760] I've lost my parent.
[00:16:54.760 --> 00:16:56.200] I've lost my father.
[00:16:56.840 --> 00:16:59.480] And that was really, really hard.
[00:17:00.040 --> 00:17:09.000] I've been through, we've all been through our own suck and our own hard, but it took, it takes me a long time to get out of the suck.
[00:17:09.000 --> 00:17:09.400] Yeah.
[00:17:09.400 --> 00:17:10.040] Okay.
[00:17:10.360 --> 00:17:14.520] And I just want to, like, you are really so much joy all the time.
[00:17:14.520 --> 00:17:24.920] Like, and to experience all that you experience, I don't know if I'd ever, maybe, and maybe I'm not, I just, I don't know, but how do you?
[00:17:26.120 --> 00:17:26.440] Yeah.
[00:17:26.440 --> 00:17:27.240] Now what?
[00:17:27.240 --> 00:17:29.320] Tell me about the now what part of the that story.
[00:17:29.400 --> 00:17:30.360] So it's the now what?
[00:17:30.360 --> 00:17:33.240] So, so, you know, and I talked about this on stage today.
[00:17:33.240 --> 00:17:38.040] It's like we have to make room for the capacity to feel, right?
[00:17:38.040 --> 00:17:46.160] Your capacity to experience joy is going to also match your capacity to feel grief.
[00:17:46.480 --> 00:17:54.480] And yeah, the reason why I can say, wow, I bring so much joy is because I lived through years and years and years, probably decade.
[00:17:54.480 --> 00:18:11.120] of just grief and pushing and shoving things under a rug and then having it burst in all of the different ways, whether it be on, you know, people I love or aunts and uncles or even my youngest brother, because I was a caretaker to my youngest brother who was 14 when we were orphaned.
[00:18:11.120 --> 00:18:15.600] And so, you know, I think that it comes out in the craziest ways.
[00:18:16.000 --> 00:18:19.200] We develop these, you know, unhealthy coping mechanisms.
[00:18:20.000 --> 00:18:33.840] And honestly, for a lot of high-achieving people, women, we all have this Achilles heel to overcompensate, we overwork, we try to prove, we're proving our worth, we're constantly chugging, and then guess what?
[00:18:33.840 --> 00:18:38.080] We get to, you know, a season of our life where we can't push anymore.
[00:18:38.080 --> 00:18:43.840] Either we have that accident, we get the diagnosis, something forces us to stop.
[00:18:43.840 --> 00:18:47.120] You know, we find out about the affair or whatever it is.
[00:18:47.120 --> 00:18:49.760] And then we're like, oh, okay.
[00:18:50.080 --> 00:18:55.120] Okay, can I find the slivers of joy in these moments where it's so painful?
[00:18:55.120 --> 00:18:56.720] And that's literally what I had to do.
[00:18:56.880 --> 00:18:59.360] I talk about this in the book, That's Like Now What?
[00:18:59.360 --> 00:19:05.440] Where when my mom was going through her, because she, for a year and a half, she was in the ICU.
[00:19:05.440 --> 00:19:11.360] And we would go, literally, I was in high school, and I would, it was in Lane Tech in Chicago.
[00:19:11.360 --> 00:19:19.360] And so I would come back, I would, there was like this coffee shop, and there was this like cute barista guy who also worked there after school.
[00:19:19.360 --> 00:19:29.160] And we would like flirt, and I'd be like, oh my gosh, I'm having butterflies coming to my mom, to see my mom after school in this very dreary place.
[00:19:29.040 --> 00:19:34.040] But that was like a high before I got to the low.
[00:19:34.360 --> 00:19:37.800] And so can we increase our capacity to feel?
[00:19:37.800 --> 00:19:38.760] It's like to go there.
[00:19:38.760 --> 00:19:42.040] And I don't think we allow ourselves to grieve after a breakup.
[00:19:42.040 --> 00:19:54.760] I don't think we allow ourselves to grieve after, you know, maybe a friendship loss or something terrible happens that we just, we didn't get the promotion or we didn't, you know, our right hand just quit on us or whatever the case is.
[00:19:54.760 --> 00:19:59.320] We didn't reach the pinnacle or the KPIs that we were supposed to.
[00:19:59.320 --> 00:20:00.680] We don't grieve those things.
[00:20:00.680 --> 00:20:02.760] We're like, all right, the next, the next, the next.
[00:20:02.760 --> 00:20:03.640] And we're supposed to.
[00:20:03.960 --> 00:20:09.480] And we're taught, society tells us that we're taught to just not feel, to numb it all out.
[00:20:09.480 --> 00:20:10.840] So then what do we start doing?
[00:20:10.840 --> 00:20:14.200] We numbing it in the, we numb it in the form of, okay, let's swipe.
[00:20:14.200 --> 00:20:18.360] That really hit for me, which is the, which is the night scrolling that you talked about.
[00:20:18.440 --> 00:20:24.280] So all the which ways that you think you're like, you're, you're actually coping with it, but in ways that it's coming out unhealthy.
[00:20:24.280 --> 00:20:25.560] The doom scrolling.
[00:20:25.960 --> 00:20:32.520] When you said that, I actually, I have, I used to be so good about leaving my phone outside of my room.
[00:20:32.520 --> 00:20:36.440] And then, or even when I'd plug it into the nightstand, it'd be like on the nightstand, but I wouldn't touch it.
[00:20:36.440 --> 00:20:40.120] Like I'd go into like, do not disturb D and D, and I'd be totally fine with it.
[00:20:40.120 --> 00:20:46.360] If Fazal and I wanted to watch some TV, cool, we'd watch something, but I could literally be like, I'm tired, turn it off, like we're good.
[00:20:46.360 --> 00:20:46.760] Yeah.
[00:20:47.080 --> 00:20:52.360] But recently I noticed that because I'm back at building another startup again.
[00:20:52.360 --> 00:20:53.080] It's wild.
[00:20:53.080 --> 00:20:53.240] Yes.
[00:20:53.400 --> 00:20:54.360] How do you even do that?
[00:20:54.760 --> 00:20:56.120] Yeah, we're doing it.
[00:20:56.120 --> 00:20:56.840] We're doing it.
[00:20:56.840 --> 00:20:57.720] We're doing it.
[00:20:57.720 --> 00:20:59.400] And I do feel like I have it.
[00:20:59.400 --> 00:21:02.920] And then momhood and just, I feel like I'm on.
[00:21:02.920 --> 00:21:07.800] Like, from the moment I wake up to like when I hit my head on that bed, and it's like nine o'clock.
[00:21:07.800 --> 00:21:08.680] And I get to bed by nine.
[00:21:08.680 --> 00:21:16.080] So, I have like kids go to bed and I put them to bed, and then I'm like in my bed, and I know that when my head goes down, I should go to sleep, but I'm so exhausted.
[00:21:14.840 --> 00:21:21.920] I haven't had two minutes to myself, and then I pull up the gram, or then I pull up, and I and I was never that person.
[00:21:22.240 --> 00:21:27.520] I've put limits on my phone, I've never actually been like, Oh, your 45-minute time limit is up.
[00:21:27.520 --> 00:21:32.560] And now I'm getting these notifications, and all I'm doing is like I'm laughing, and I'm sending like my favorite part.
[00:21:32.560 --> 00:21:35.280] Yeah, my favorite part of my night, and I'm the funniest friend.
[00:21:35.280 --> 00:21:37.120] Like, at least I think I'm the funniest friend.
[00:21:37.360 --> 00:21:38.480] You're funny, you're really funny.
[00:21:38.480 --> 00:21:46.240] I am really funny, and so I'm finding like the most hilarious shit to send to the right person, and it makes me so happy when I do.
[00:21:46.240 --> 00:21:46.960] Like, it does.
[00:21:46.960 --> 00:21:56.400] So, there's like maybe like seven people that I constantly send stuff to, and I'm like, oh, I found the funniest one, and there's like, and I love doing it, but that is a coping mechanism.
[00:21:56.400 --> 00:22:00.880] It's a coping mechanism because damn it, yes, damn it.
[00:22:00.880 --> 00:22:04.080] But I feel like, well, and here's the thing: we all do it.
[00:22:04.080 --> 00:22:04.320] Why?
[00:22:04.320 --> 00:22:04.640] Why?
[00:22:04.720 --> 00:22:05.600] Saturday tons.
[00:22:05.600 --> 00:22:07.680] You're not going to get them anymore.
[00:22:08.000 --> 00:22:11.440] I feel like if it's, but here's the thing: it's bringing you joy.
[00:22:11.440 --> 00:22:17.920] I think that, but it's, it's bringing me joy, and it's also like the blue light is keeping you up.
[00:22:17.920 --> 00:22:23.120] The dopamine is also keeping me up that you're because I haven't had five minutes to just have some fun.
[00:22:23.520 --> 00:22:29.200] Of course, to have fun, to let loose, to actually shake it off or dance it off, or not think about anything else.
[00:22:29.200 --> 00:22:30.720] That's what it's doing for me, right?
[00:22:30.720 --> 00:22:32.800] Yeah, like it's just mindless.
[00:22:32.800 --> 00:22:33.600] It's mindless.
[00:22:33.760 --> 00:22:35.200] And I haven't had a moment.
[00:22:35.520 --> 00:22:37.600] Every moment has been mindful.
[00:22:37.840 --> 00:22:40.000] And so when I'm doing that, it's a moment.
[00:22:40.000 --> 00:22:43.840] It's, it's, it's that, you know, 30 minutes of mindlessness.
[00:22:43.840 --> 00:22:45.680] And that's what my brain's craving.
[00:22:45.680 --> 00:22:56.080] But that's an awful habit to have mindlessness versus so many other great habits that I could use to create mindfulness, mindlessness, or like to create the moments of peace.
[00:22:56.080 --> 00:22:57.840] Or even coming back home to you.
[00:22:57.840 --> 00:22:58.240] Yes.
[00:22:58.240 --> 00:22:58.960] And that's the thing.
[00:22:58.960 --> 00:23:01.800] It's like, you know, for the, I mean, that was a talk today.
[00:23:01.960 --> 00:23:03.960] For the woman who does all, how do you come back to yourself?
[00:23:04.200 --> 00:23:08.360] And give us, give some other examples before you give us the fix because that was the one that resonated with me.
[00:23:08.360 --> 00:23:12.360] Yeah, so, so the, well, and then the shopping, yeah.
[00:23:12.360 --> 00:23:16.760] I mean, grabbing the bottle of wine at 10 p.m.
[00:23:16.920 --> 00:23:18.200] when you got the bad news.
[00:23:18.200 --> 00:23:19.880] It's like, I know I used to do that.
[00:23:19.880 --> 00:23:21.720] I'm like, all right, I'm going to do the twist cap.
[00:23:21.720 --> 00:23:21.960] Yes, I'm going to do it.
[00:23:22.040 --> 00:23:28.200] The Pinot Noir feels really good, especially when the kids are like irate and screaming their heads off.
[00:23:28.200 --> 00:23:30.360] I'm like, I need a glass of wine right now.
[00:23:30.360 --> 00:23:31.640] And just the ritual.
[00:23:31.640 --> 00:23:32.520] It's the ritual.
[00:23:32.520 --> 00:23:34.120] The ritual of that just opening.
[00:23:34.120 --> 00:23:35.000] It's not even the thing.
[00:23:35.000 --> 00:23:35.400] It's opening the bottle.
[00:23:35.560 --> 00:23:38.120] It's opening the bottle that you're like, now I can.
[00:23:38.280 --> 00:23:40.040] No, but it's like now you can relax.
[00:23:40.040 --> 00:23:40.360] Yeah.
[00:23:40.360 --> 00:23:45.160] And literally, your nervous system's like, because that feels familiar.
[00:23:45.160 --> 00:23:46.200] It feels safe.
[00:23:46.600 --> 00:23:49.080] It feels, it's like, oh, yes, I've done this before.
[00:23:49.080 --> 00:23:54.680] I know all of you, let's just be honest, like, just right now, screenshot this and DM me and DM Nita.
[00:23:54.680 --> 00:23:55.400] Like, please.
[00:23:55.400 --> 00:23:58.440] We're calling it out, but I'll be the first to accept it too.
[00:23:58.440 --> 00:23:59.480] So in a loving way.
[00:23:59.720 --> 00:24:00.680] In a love, loving way.
[00:24:01.240 --> 00:24:01.720] So what else?
[00:24:01.720 --> 00:24:03.080] What were the other things that we're doing?
[00:24:03.240 --> 00:24:07.240] Well, and then we emotionally dump on dump and bursts, right?
[00:24:07.240 --> 00:24:09.480] We emotionally dump and burst on the people that we love.
[00:24:09.800 --> 00:24:10.360] Guilty.
[00:24:10.360 --> 00:24:13.320] Especially, like, yeah, we wake up at five to slay.
[00:24:13.320 --> 00:24:14.200] We're going to the gym.
[00:24:14.200 --> 00:24:15.320] We're doing all the things.
[00:24:15.320 --> 00:24:16.760] We've got the meetings.
[00:24:16.760 --> 00:24:18.920] And then, you know, by the end, we come home.
[00:24:18.920 --> 00:24:19.800] We're so drained.
[00:24:19.800 --> 00:24:22.200] We don't have any time for people we love.
[00:24:22.200 --> 00:24:24.360] And then they ask you that one thing.
[00:24:24.360 --> 00:24:24.680] Yeah.
[00:24:24.680 --> 00:24:27.000] That you already asked me a hundred times, Faisal.
[00:24:27.960 --> 00:24:28.600] Seriously.
[00:24:28.600 --> 00:24:28.920] I know.
[00:24:29.640 --> 00:24:31.480] And then, and then you're like, what the fuck?
[00:24:31.640 --> 00:24:31.960] Yeah.
[00:24:32.280 --> 00:24:33.960] You don't have space to just be kind.
[00:24:33.960 --> 00:24:35.400] You don't have your capacity.
[00:24:35.400 --> 00:24:36.040] You're done.
[00:24:36.040 --> 00:24:39.800] Your capacity is not there because you didn't fill up our reserves.
[00:24:39.920 --> 00:24:40.840] I'm sorry, Faisal.
[00:24:40.840 --> 00:24:41.560] I love you.
[00:24:41.560 --> 00:24:43.160] And my kids sometimes too.
[00:24:43.400 --> 00:24:44.600] My kids, yeah, same.
[00:24:44.600 --> 00:24:44.960] I'm like.
[00:24:45.120 --> 00:24:46.160] Where you lose your patience.
[00:24:46.160 --> 00:24:50.240] Oh, you lose your six-year-old requires, she does.
[00:24:44.840 --> 00:24:50.800] She's a child.
[00:24:50.960 --> 00:24:54.240] She requires a lot of eye-to-eye contact.
[00:24:54.240 --> 00:24:57.920] And if I'm not looking her, she's like a quality time person.
[00:24:57.920 --> 00:24:59.440] She wants to do the activity.
[00:24:59.440 --> 00:25:00.640] She wants to do the doing.
[00:25:00.640 --> 00:25:02.000] She wants to do the crafting.
[00:25:02.400 --> 00:25:06.960] Like for her, it's not like going for, like, it's doing the thing is important to her.
[00:25:06.960 --> 00:25:07.440] With her.
[00:25:07.440 --> 00:25:07.840] With her.
[00:25:08.320 --> 00:25:10.240] That requires energy.
[00:25:10.240 --> 00:25:11.600] Energy and patience.
[00:25:11.840 --> 00:25:12.400] Patience.
[00:25:12.400 --> 00:25:14.960] And just, I know, my some days I don't have it.
[00:25:15.280 --> 00:25:15.840] Same.
[00:25:15.840 --> 00:25:17.360] So we lose our feuds.
[00:25:17.760 --> 00:25:19.520] We lose our shit and then we yell at them.
[00:25:19.520 --> 00:25:20.880] So we dump.
[00:25:20.880 --> 00:25:23.520] And then also we're emotionally eating, right?
[00:25:23.680 --> 00:25:24.000] Chocolate.
[00:25:24.160 --> 00:25:24.880] Oh, the ice cream.
[00:25:25.040 --> 00:25:25.760] Yes.
[00:25:26.720 --> 00:25:28.240] The late night snacking.
[00:25:28.240 --> 00:25:30.480] I feel like I would always late night snack.
[00:25:30.480 --> 00:25:31.040] And there was a lot of stuff.
[00:25:31.200 --> 00:25:33.840] We need to for sure do like a poll of this screen.
[00:25:34.800 --> 00:25:35.680] What was your vice?
[00:25:35.680 --> 00:25:35.920] Yeah.
[00:25:35.920 --> 00:25:36.080] Yeah.
[00:25:36.080 --> 00:25:36.480] What's your vice?
[00:25:36.720 --> 00:25:37.360] What's the vice?
[00:25:37.360 --> 00:25:38.400] Okay, I'm not a luckily.
[00:25:38.400 --> 00:25:41.040] I'm not a sweets person, but I'm a salty person for sure.
[00:25:41.040 --> 00:25:46.480] So if I'm snacking, it's for sure, like after 10 chips or is it like spicy chips?
[00:25:46.640 --> 00:25:46.960] Okay.
[00:25:46.960 --> 00:25:48.480] Like it's the Indian, you know, this brandy.
[00:25:48.560 --> 00:25:50.480] Are you not kidding?
[00:25:51.200 --> 00:25:51.520] Oh my gosh.
[00:25:51.680 --> 00:25:53.840] Yes, they're so salty and so spicy.
[00:25:54.320 --> 00:25:55.440] My husband loves those.
[00:25:55.440 --> 00:25:55.840] I love those.
[00:25:56.160 --> 00:25:59.360] I know, but it's like fried in all that seed oil.
[00:25:59.840 --> 00:26:00.400] I know, I know.
[00:26:00.400 --> 00:26:01.040] It's not good.
[00:26:01.040 --> 00:26:02.720] It's not exactly good.
[00:26:02.880 --> 00:26:03.440] It's not awesome.
[00:26:03.680 --> 00:26:06.160] I know if it's the thing that I want, it's that thing.
[00:26:06.560 --> 00:26:10.800] In every brown house, they do have it like in the center table of whatever things.
[00:26:11.200 --> 00:26:11.680] Spicy.
[00:26:12.080 --> 00:26:12.560] It's there.
[00:26:12.960 --> 00:26:13.760] I'll tell you what it is.
[00:26:13.760 --> 00:26:19.840] It's like a, you know, those like mini potato, like potato sticks that they put on like burgers and hot dogs.
[00:26:19.840 --> 00:26:21.760] Like, like you know, what you're trying to do, like the little tiny ones.
[00:26:21.760 --> 00:26:24.240] I'm looking at Lily to confirm my podcast manager.
[00:26:24.240 --> 00:26:24.640] Okay.
[00:26:24.640 --> 00:26:28.640] It's that, but imagine that, like, just like tossed in chili flavor.
[00:26:28.640 --> 00:26:29.640] Like, it's just like spicy.
[00:26:29.520 --> 00:26:30.920] It's like hot Cheetos.
[00:26:29.600 --> 00:26:32.840] It's like, it's like the Indian hot Cheetos.
[00:26:29.760 --> 00:26:34.040] No, it's hot Cheetos.
[00:26:34.040 --> 00:26:34.520] Yeah.
[00:26:34.520 --> 00:26:35.160] It's just garbage.
[00:26:29.920 --> 00:26:37.000] And maybe, and maybe even worse, sweet.
[00:26:37.240 --> 00:26:38.040] People love sweets.
[00:26:38.040 --> 00:26:39.080] People love people.
[00:26:39.080 --> 00:26:39.240] Yeah.
[00:26:39.640 --> 00:26:39.800] Okay.
[00:26:39.800 --> 00:26:40.440] So all of those things.
[00:26:40.520 --> 00:26:42.200] Well, because it's coping mechanisms, right?
[00:26:42.200 --> 00:26:43.080] We're doing all the things.
[00:26:43.080 --> 00:26:46.120] I do want to know what you're doing because we don't have to feel bad about it.
[00:26:46.120 --> 00:26:47.320] It's just what's happening.
[00:26:47.800 --> 00:26:48.280] But Dr.
[00:26:48.280 --> 00:26:51.320] Nita's going to give us how do we stop this?
[00:26:51.320 --> 00:26:52.600] So the now what?
[00:26:52.600 --> 00:26:54.200] So we're stressed.
[00:26:54.840 --> 00:26:56.200] It's rightful.
[00:26:56.200 --> 00:26:57.640] So you're not crazy.
[00:26:57.640 --> 00:26:59.000] So that is what we'll validate.
[00:26:59.000 --> 00:27:00.200] You're not crazy.
[00:27:00.200 --> 00:27:01.640] I'm not crazy.
[00:27:02.120 --> 00:27:03.320] We're all not crazy.
[00:27:04.520 --> 00:27:05.400] We're not terrible.
[00:27:05.640 --> 00:27:06.200] We're amazing.
[00:27:06.280 --> 00:27:07.480] We're working hard.
[00:27:07.480 --> 00:27:09.000] We're doing the best that we can, right?
[00:27:09.000 --> 00:27:12.280] We're doing the best that we can with the tools that we have.
[00:27:12.280 --> 00:27:18.520] And quite honestly, you all have, like, we've all, all the tools that I taught today, it's not something magical.
[00:27:18.520 --> 00:27:20.760] It's not something that you've never heard of before.
[00:27:20.760 --> 00:27:23.800] It's like, would you, but would you do it?
[00:27:23.800 --> 00:27:24.440] Let's do it.
[00:27:24.440 --> 00:27:25.000] The thing.
[00:27:25.000 --> 00:27:25.880] Okay, okay.
[00:27:25.880 --> 00:27:31.320] So the first is when we are like, we're losing our shit.
[00:27:31.320 --> 00:27:33.080] We have an emotion.
[00:27:33.400 --> 00:27:35.000] Something didn't go our way.
[00:27:35.000 --> 00:27:36.840] Something didn't go as planned.
[00:27:36.840 --> 00:27:39.720] You know, there is a mantra to say.
[00:27:39.720 --> 00:27:41.240] You can actually say that suck.
[00:27:41.240 --> 00:27:42.040] Now what?
[00:27:42.040 --> 00:27:47.160] When we actually suppress that emotion and suppress the resentment, suppress the anger, suppress.
[00:27:47.480 --> 00:27:48.200] So accept it.
[00:27:48.200 --> 00:27:49.080] Say that sucks.
[00:27:49.640 --> 00:27:50.360] Yeah, just say it.
[00:27:50.360 --> 00:27:50.760] Say it.
[00:27:50.760 --> 00:27:51.240] That sucks.
[00:27:51.240 --> 00:27:51.720] That sucks.
[00:27:51.720 --> 00:27:52.360] That sucked.
[00:27:52.360 --> 00:27:52.840] That sucked.
[00:27:53.080 --> 00:27:54.680] And we can even acknowledge it, right?
[00:27:54.680 --> 00:27:56.280] So studies have shown this.
[00:27:56.280 --> 00:28:09.800] When we say the thing out loud that we are experiencing, I am feeling, I'm feeling sad that that thing didn't go as planned, or I'm feeling jealous right now because I saw that they got funded and I didn't, right?
[00:28:09.800 --> 00:28:11.160] We're voicing it.
[00:28:11.160 --> 00:28:16.880] So we talked about this today: if we are not voicing the things that are in our head, we're ruminating.
[00:28:16.880 --> 00:28:17.280] Okay.
[00:28:17.280 --> 00:28:19.520] And all of that pressure is building in our head.
[00:28:19.920 --> 00:28:20.720] So get it out.
[00:28:20.720 --> 00:28:21.920] We got to get it out.
[00:28:21.920 --> 00:28:26.000] And I guarantee you, even if you just do that, super simple, you will feel better.
[00:28:26.000 --> 00:28:26.320] It's like.
[00:28:26.560 --> 00:28:27.760] Or journal it or write it.
[00:28:27.760 --> 00:28:29.440] Journal it, write it, send a voice note.
[00:28:29.600 --> 00:28:32.320] I love this, and I didn't share this on stage, but I usually do.
[00:28:32.640 --> 00:28:34.000] You send a voice note to your friend.
[00:28:34.000 --> 00:28:36.000] How many of us do the long voice notes?
[00:28:36.000 --> 00:28:36.400] Yeah.
[00:28:36.400 --> 00:28:40.240] Yeah, like, hey, I'm, but send it to yourself.
[00:28:40.240 --> 00:28:48.080] If you are an orator, if you like to talk and share, and you don't, you probably don't want to share this with a friend, maybe not, maybe you do.
[00:28:48.720 --> 00:28:52.960] Record yourself on your, you know, on your voice notes.
[00:28:52.960 --> 00:28:57.840] And the voice note app, just record it and say, I am feeling like shit right now.
[00:28:58.160 --> 00:28:59.040] That's it.
[00:28:59.040 --> 00:29:00.000] And just feel it.
[00:29:00.240 --> 00:29:04.560] The second reset that we talked about was having self-compassion for yourself.
[00:29:04.560 --> 00:29:15.360] Because a lot of times when we're traveling by yourself, when we're doing, when we're navigating life and like building careers and businesses solo, which it happens, it can be very lonely.
[00:29:15.360 --> 00:29:18.720] You know, one in three report being lonely in the U.S.
[00:29:18.960 --> 00:29:20.720] It's insane.
[00:29:21.040 --> 00:29:27.360] And also anxiety and you said one in three women right now are going through anxiety.
[00:29:27.360 --> 00:29:30.080] Going through anxiety, depression, loneliness.
[00:29:30.160 --> 00:29:30.640] One in three.
[00:29:30.640 --> 00:29:31.280] One in three.
[00:29:31.280 --> 00:29:33.280] I mean, it's insane.
[00:29:33.280 --> 00:29:38.400] I mean, or they're, or we're not even able to communicate, right?
[00:29:38.400 --> 00:29:41.920] And we're just having these low-vibe, low-funky feelings.
[00:29:41.920 --> 00:29:46.000] And that's a whole other topic to unpack.
[00:29:46.000 --> 00:29:55.280] But we can actually put our hands over our heart and just like, if you actually have that touch and connection, some of us actually are wired by touch.
[00:29:55.280 --> 00:30:02.200] We're mammals, you know, and we're, as women, we need to have that touch, that embrace.
[00:29:59.600 --> 00:30:13.320] And I used to do this a lot because I grew up without my parents to just okay, hug myself, hug a stuffed animal, even when my kids in their mindful corner that we have in the house.
[00:30:13.320 --> 00:30:15.000] We literally have stuffies.
[00:30:15.000 --> 00:30:19.560] And sometimes, I, you know, when I have the pillows and we're just like, okay, let's cuddle and let's hug.
[00:30:19.560 --> 00:30:31.720] I literally have a room in my home and in my office, I have, I literally have pillows, some for throwing for my rage practice, which we'll get into, but then some for just you want that cuddle.
[00:30:31.720 --> 00:30:41.880] But literally, and there's science to this: if you put your hand over your heart, you keep it there for 30 seconds, maybe you guys can do this right now, you will actually activate your oxytocin.
[00:30:42.200 --> 00:30:48.520] And the best part is, is if you are working with someone else, you can actually give them a hug.
[00:30:48.520 --> 00:30:49.400] Give them a hug.
[00:30:49.400 --> 00:30:56.520] And get, and not, you know, not the pats on the back that you go when you go to the bro conferences or any of those conferences, and they're like, nice to see you.
[00:30:56.520 --> 00:30:58.200] Or when I go to London, I get that a lot.
[00:30:58.200 --> 00:30:59.080] Of like, oh, yes.
[00:30:59.240 --> 00:31:01.240] You know, just like the fake hugs.
[00:31:01.240 --> 00:31:02.200] Not real hugs.
[00:31:02.360 --> 00:31:03.720] I don't like the fake hugs.
[00:31:03.720 --> 00:31:06.360] We're not in for the chest.
[00:31:07.400 --> 00:31:09.240] Like, full embrace.
[00:31:09.240 --> 00:31:12.920] Just like get in there, nuzzle them in there, you know.
[00:31:13.240 --> 00:31:16.840] And you, like, how good did you feel after?
[00:31:16.840 --> 00:31:17.160] So good.
[00:31:17.160 --> 00:31:17.800] We all hugged it out.
[00:31:17.800 --> 00:31:18.200] It was so funny.
[00:31:18.360 --> 00:31:19.080] Everyone hugged it out.
[00:31:19.960 --> 00:31:22.280] I wanted to get really crunchy and get everybody in a circle.
[00:31:22.280 --> 00:31:25.480] And then I'm like, oh my gosh, Sunira's going to be like, what are you doing?
[00:31:25.640 --> 00:31:27.240] No, we did get really crunchy.
[00:31:27.240 --> 00:31:28.360] You made us all scream.
[00:31:28.680 --> 00:31:29.080] We did.
[00:31:29.080 --> 00:31:29.400] We did.
[00:31:29.400 --> 00:31:29.960] Yeah, we did.
[00:31:30.920 --> 00:31:31.720] It was weird.
[00:31:31.880 --> 00:31:32.840] It was weird.
[00:31:32.840 --> 00:31:34.040] Okay, which is reset.
[00:31:34.040 --> 00:31:35.160] I think, what, number three?
[00:31:35.160 --> 00:31:35.960] So it's breathing.
[00:31:35.960 --> 00:31:36.440] We did breathing.
[00:31:36.680 --> 00:31:38.120] So we, we, yeah, we were breathing.
[00:31:38.440 --> 00:31:38.840] That was good.
[00:31:38.840 --> 00:31:39.480] I like that one.
[00:31:40.360 --> 00:31:42.680] Yeah, the breath of fire, the pranayama.
[00:31:42.680 --> 00:31:46.720] I mean, if you've ever been to a yoga class, you've probably done this, but we don't.
[00:31:44.840 --> 00:31:49.440] And here's the science behind it.
[00:31:49.760 --> 00:31:58.880] So when we have that dry heaving cry, like the cry that we just don't want to do, when we're actually crying, we're releasing cortisol.
[00:31:58.880 --> 00:32:00.960] And cortisol is our stress hormone.
[00:32:00.960 --> 00:32:12.640] So think about this again the next time you want to hold back your tears, the next time somebody is telling you something really hard, or, you know, or maybe you see somebody else crying in front of you and you just want to hold it together.
[00:32:12.960 --> 00:32:16.720] That is your stress hormone wanting to leave your body.
[00:32:16.720 --> 00:32:18.720] It's you releasing that cortisol.
[00:32:18.720 --> 00:32:22.320] So guess what happens when you actually allow yourself to cry?
[00:32:22.320 --> 00:32:32.720] You know, after that, and you have like, you know, the cry after you have a breakup or a friend breakup or something bad happens, and you're just like the dry heaving, the that's literally breath of fire.
[00:32:32.720 --> 00:32:35.600] And that's calming down your nervous system.
[00:32:35.600 --> 00:32:38.240] Your body is saying, okay, let's release it, let's get it out, let's get it out.
[00:32:38.320 --> 00:32:40.960] I'm thinking of all the ways that we like talk to our kids, right?
[00:32:40.960 --> 00:32:42.240] Of like, don't cry.
[00:32:42.240 --> 00:32:43.520] Like, let them cry.
[00:32:43.520 --> 00:32:45.280] Oh, yeah, no, let them scream.
[00:32:45.280 --> 00:32:46.160] Of course, let them cry.
[00:32:46.160 --> 00:32:46.800] Let them.
[00:32:46.800 --> 00:32:50.080] They are the best at navigating their emotions.
[00:32:50.640 --> 00:32:52.400] We just tame them down.
[00:32:52.400 --> 00:32:53.520] And why do we do that?
[00:32:53.520 --> 00:32:56.640] It's because we were never given permission to do that as well.
[00:32:56.640 --> 00:33:02.800] I know growing up in a brown, you know, Filipino Indian family, it was like, you are not screaming right now.
[00:33:02.800 --> 00:33:04.000] Get it together.
[00:33:04.000 --> 00:33:05.840] Go to your room or whatever it was.
[00:33:05.840 --> 00:33:06.560] Don't cry.
[00:33:06.560 --> 00:33:11.520] You know, and I think a lot of us, and no shade on our parents, they were just doing the best that they could.
[00:33:11.520 --> 00:33:15.200] But now that we have these tools, why not use them?
[00:33:15.200 --> 00:33:18.080] And why not allow yourself the release?
[00:33:18.080 --> 00:33:20.800] Because how good did it feel after we just did it?
[00:33:20.880 --> 00:33:21.920] Yeah, we did the breath work.
[00:33:21.920 --> 00:33:22.480] That was great.
[00:33:22.480 --> 00:33:24.240] And then we did two, two unique ones.
[00:33:24.240 --> 00:33:25.520] We did laughter.
[00:33:25.760 --> 00:33:27.280] Which I really liked that at first.
[00:33:27.840 --> 00:33:28.360] You were laughing.
[00:33:28.840 --> 00:33:30.000] First, I was like, what is happening?
[00:33:30.360 --> 00:33:32.360] You're like, she's like, she was like, to laugh it out.
[00:33:32.360 --> 00:33:34.760] And she did sound crazy on stage.
[00:33:34.760 --> 00:33:36.760] And then it made me laugh.
[00:33:36.760 --> 00:33:40.200] Like, watching you laugh with your belly made me laugh.
[00:33:40.200 --> 00:33:40.840] Then it made...
[00:33:41.000 --> 00:35:05.680] the woman next to me like we were all laughing laughing at laughing like it was so funny just laughing together it was it's it was fun it was like it actually happened and and in the beginning it was like so tense to be like oh my god this is so weird to like just laugh what am i gonna laugh about it wasn't a joke it wasn't like a funny thing no it was just literally let's laugh go laugh i did play a song though you did you play the chicken what is it chicken banana banana chicken banana yeah that was ridiculous well my kids love that so anytime they're feeling real and hacks for you mamas out there anytime they're feeling really anxious these days because in dubai we're driving like 30 minutes back and forth i literally play that song everyone's hysterical in the car and then my my six year old's like chicken banana and now they have now they have props now they have their sunglasses so it is the funniest thing and my daughter she's the three-year-old so she's giggling it up and of course that's gonna make you laugh so laughter you know what that does is it opens up your vagus nerve our vagus nerve is responsible for allowing us to rest and digest and come back and calm our nervous system because we're in that fight or flight trying to make all these decisions in our day and then we're not breathing because we're breathing shallow which i thought was so interesting to share that part where you're and i'm like that's so true well yeah when we're you know when we are so stressed, when we have like the hundreds of things to do, and i'm i'm guilty of this too.
[00:35:05.680 --> 00:35:17.520] When I was preparing you know for this, I was in New York yesterday and had all of these podcasts, jumped on a plane, already jet lagged, literally made my flight 10 minutes before they closed the door at LaGuardia.
[00:35:17.520 --> 00:35:27.840] And then I get to the scene and I'm like, you know, just, and I'm like, oh my gosh, that big release.
[00:35:27.840 --> 00:35:28.800] I don't think I...
[00:35:28.800 --> 00:35:30.720] I don't think I breathed today.
[00:35:30.720 --> 00:35:33.680] Like, my breathing was just like in my neck.
[00:35:33.680 --> 00:35:41.200] And then, do you wonder why, like, I don't know, after a really long day, your shoulders are just, it's up, your shoulders are like up to your ears.
[00:35:41.200 --> 00:35:43.920] And then you're like, why am I so tense and sore?
[00:35:43.920 --> 00:35:54.160] Oh, it's because we just haven't like straightened our backs to put our shoulders back because we aren't even breathing in our belly.
[00:35:54.160 --> 00:35:58.480] And I had everybody touch their navel because I've also been doing voice lessons.
[00:35:58.480 --> 00:36:00.320] And so now there's another reason.
[00:36:00.880 --> 00:36:02.240] Ooh, voice lessons.
[00:36:02.240 --> 00:36:04.160] I mean, I'm not coming out with an album or anything.
[00:36:04.720 --> 00:36:05.680] It's so for me.
[00:36:05.680 --> 00:36:07.840] But I think as speakers, it's really helpful.
[00:36:07.840 --> 00:36:11.200] And why am I sharing this about singing?
[00:36:11.200 --> 00:36:12.800] Well, I got distracted with that.
[00:36:13.920 --> 00:36:16.400] It also impairs our nervous system.
[00:36:16.400 --> 00:36:18.080] It resets our nervous system.
[00:36:18.080 --> 00:36:19.120] It brings us back.
[00:36:19.120 --> 00:36:28.720] So when we're jamming on old school, I mean, I was in 90s RB hip-hop, like end of the road, like Backstreet Boys, like all of that.
[00:36:28.720 --> 00:36:31.520] You know, you feel instantly better.
[00:36:31.520 --> 00:36:32.800] So we have all these tools.
[00:36:32.800 --> 00:36:34.080] We don't use them.
[00:36:34.080 --> 00:36:37.520] But when we're singing, we're also breathing from our belly.
[00:36:37.520 --> 00:36:39.120] When you're doing it right.
[00:36:39.120 --> 00:36:46.720] If you're singing from here, like from here, then you're just completely off chord because you're breathing from your chest.
[00:36:46.720 --> 00:36:58.160] And that's why when you go to a yoga class or anything, when we breathe and try it, like take a deep breath into your belly, open up your diaphragm, and just like fill your air up.
[00:36:58.160 --> 00:37:16.840] A lot of us women were taught, suck in your stomach, suck in your stomach, don't breathe, and we have to because then when we're even speaking from a place of power, it's not coming from our chest, it's coming from literally our guttural sense, which is our gut.
[00:37:16.840 --> 00:37:21.160] Our gut makes a lot of those decisions, so it's all connected.
[00:37:21.480 --> 00:37:22.600] So, yeah, oh gosh, I agree.
[00:37:23.320 --> 00:37:24.840] Take big breaths, right?
[00:37:24.840 --> 00:37:31.240] So, and that makes sense what you were saying, or like when we're making decisions all day, we're like here, here, here, up in our chest.
[00:37:31.240 --> 00:37:35.000] When we slow down, it's coming from our whole body.
[00:37:35.000 --> 00:37:36.120] It's coming from our whole body.
[00:37:36.120 --> 00:37:39.160] We're literally oxygenating all of ourselves.
[00:37:39.160 --> 00:37:48.360] And I don't know about you, but when we're kind of go, go, go and we're only breathing from here, I don't know at the end of the day, do you just feel like, what the heck happened?
[00:37:48.360 --> 00:37:53.640] I need another pick-me-up, I need another coffee, I need something like I'm just so on edge.
[00:37:53.640 --> 00:37:55.400] Coffee, tea, chai.
[00:37:55.720 --> 00:37:56.840] But try it.
[00:37:56.840 --> 00:37:58.440] Try to take those eyes.
[00:37:59.480 --> 00:38:01.400] Sunira's like, you are calling me out and all.
[00:38:01.480 --> 00:38:02.520] Oh, I love this.
[00:38:02.520 --> 00:38:04.680] I'm fully, I'm aware, though.
[00:38:04.680 --> 00:38:05.400] I'm aware.
[00:38:05.400 --> 00:38:05.880] Of course.
[00:38:05.880 --> 00:38:06.360] And that's a thing.
[00:38:06.520 --> 00:38:09.000] We are all aware, but we just forget.
[00:38:09.000 --> 00:38:11.960] And so that's why I had everyone just put your hand on your belly because.
[00:38:12.120 --> 00:38:12.840] Willie, just take this.
[00:38:12.840 --> 00:38:14.520] I'm going to give this to the podcast manager.
[00:38:14.520 --> 00:38:16.280] Just take my caffeine.
[00:38:16.280 --> 00:38:17.800] I'm just going to breathe.
[00:38:17.800 --> 00:38:18.840] Just come in the shot.
[00:38:18.840 --> 00:38:19.400] There we go.
[00:38:19.400 --> 00:38:19.800] Thank you.
[00:38:20.120 --> 00:38:21.560] I'm going to let my belly out.
[00:38:21.880 --> 00:38:24.040] Yeah, let our belly out.
[00:38:24.040 --> 00:38:25.720] Give it some space.
[00:38:26.040 --> 00:38:26.440] Okay.
[00:38:27.080 --> 00:38:31.360] And when we are exhaling longer than our inhale.
[00:38:31.240 --> 00:38:55.760] So, so if we're inhaling by four counts, and if we hold it, one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, and now we exhale for eight, we can start to allow our heart rate's gonna come down.
[00:38:55.760 --> 00:38:57.360] We already come back to our body.
[00:38:57.360 --> 00:38:58.640] Let's do that again.
[00:38:58.640 --> 00:39:03.840] So, breathe in for four, two, three, four.
[00:39:03.840 --> 00:39:05.280] Hold for seven.
[00:39:05.280 --> 00:39:12.880] One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, and release for eight.
[00:39:14.800 --> 00:39:20.720] Two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight.
[00:39:20.720 --> 00:39:30.640] So, you've just activated your parasympathetic, which means that you've just allowed your body to come into that rest and relaxation.
[00:39:30.640 --> 00:39:33.120] I feel like I'm in, it's so quick.
[00:39:33.120 --> 00:39:34.800] It's so quick, it's a minute.
[00:39:34.800 --> 00:39:35.280] It's a minute.
[00:39:35.440 --> 00:39:36.160] It was so quick.
[00:39:36.160 --> 00:39:37.120] I feel so relaxed.
[00:39:37.120 --> 00:39:37.920] Like, it really does.
[00:39:37.920 --> 00:39:38.960] And I know that.
[00:39:38.960 --> 00:39:41.440] I know, and we just forget when we don't do it.
[00:39:41.440 --> 00:39:43.760] We're like, ah, the phone, it's easier.
[00:39:43.760 --> 00:39:45.120] The phone's easier.
[00:39:45.120 --> 00:39:46.560] But, and that's the thing.
[00:39:46.960 --> 00:39:54.640] Is there a way to bake it into do, and this is what I call them micro and pockets of resets in your day?
[00:39:54.640 --> 00:39:57.680] Like, can you have that pocket of reset for just laughter?
[00:39:57.680 --> 00:40:01.360] Can you have that pocket of reset if you're gonna hum in the car, right?
[00:40:01.360 --> 00:40:03.440] And I do this with my kids: buzzing and humming.
[00:40:03.440 --> 00:40:04.000] It's the same thing.
[00:40:04.000 --> 00:40:08.800] Buzzing, humming, and singing, same thing, activates your vagus nerve.
[00:40:08.800 --> 00:40:10.400] Try it, it's gonna be right.
[00:40:10.400 --> 00:40:19.920] Oh, and the last one, of course, we did was movement: stomping like a dinosaur, dancing, twerking, shaking, moving your hips.
[00:40:19.920 --> 00:40:31.800] And there is science to this because when we move our hips, when we dance, literally, tribal, you know, in tribal communities, they have the drum beats, and there's a reason why they use specific drum beats.
[00:40:31.960 --> 00:40:40.760] And you'll see this in, you know, if you go to Africa, Kenya, in Tanzania, I mean, they have all of these, and everyone is so happy.
[00:40:40.760 --> 00:40:41.560] Why?
[00:40:41.560 --> 00:40:51.400] Because there is a specific frequency that they're, you know, they're using to create that noise that allows us to just, we're vibrating, right?
[00:40:51.400 --> 00:40:53.160] And vibrating, shaking.
[00:40:53.480 --> 00:40:57.160] We're removing all of that stale and stuck energy out of our body.
[00:40:57.160 --> 00:41:00.040] So, you know, hips don't lie, like Shakira says.
[00:41:00.280 --> 00:41:01.240] There's some truth to that.
[00:41:01.240 --> 00:41:01.960] I love that.
[00:41:01.960 --> 00:41:02.680] I love that.
[00:41:02.680 --> 00:41:04.040] There's some truth to twerking.
[00:41:04.040 --> 00:41:04.840] There is.
[00:41:04.840 --> 00:41:05.160] I know.
[00:41:05.160 --> 00:41:06.040] I watched your page.
[00:41:06.040 --> 00:41:07.480] I watched not your page, but Sahara.
[00:41:07.560 --> 00:41:08.360] Sahara's page.
[00:41:08.600 --> 00:41:09.720] And she's the queen of that.
[00:41:09.720 --> 00:41:10.680] She's the queen of that.
[00:41:10.680 --> 00:41:19.640] And so, but there is that truth because, you know, yes, we can say whatever we want about it, but dancing does evoke joy.
[00:41:19.640 --> 00:41:27.320] It evokes, you know, the dopamine, the oxytocin, the serotonin, the endorphins, the endorphins, the dose.
[00:41:27.320 --> 00:41:36.680] And that's the hormones that we can create, the chemicals, the good chemicals, the good juju, where we don't need all of those unhealthy coping mechanisms.
[00:41:36.680 --> 00:41:37.320] Oh, my goodness.
[00:41:37.320 --> 00:41:41.880] And you saved, you didn't give us the stomping we did, which that was fun.
[00:41:42.200 --> 00:41:43.640] And then the screaming.
[00:41:43.960 --> 00:41:45.240] Oh, yes, of course, John.
[00:41:46.440 --> 00:41:52.040] I can't wait to do that because I feel that way where I'm like, in so many moments, but you don't like let it out.
[00:41:52.040 --> 00:41:53.640] No, because we hold it.
[00:41:53.640 --> 00:41:54.360] Yeah, we hold it.
[00:41:54.840 --> 00:42:02.600] Like, I definitely will clench my fist or like want to scream, and then I'll just not because you're not supposed to scream.
[00:42:02.600 --> 00:42:12.600] Well, you know, in traditional Chinese medicine, even in Ayurveda, and you all can look this up as well, when we are holding in our anger, if we do it too much, well, where is it going?
[00:42:12.600 --> 00:42:15.000] It's going into certain organs.
[00:42:15.120 --> 00:42:24.720] And certain organs are like if lungs are, you know, unresolved grief, then for anger, it's usually the liver, the kidneys.
[00:42:25.440 --> 00:42:30.480] So, and this is why a lot of us need to, we're all in detoxing mode now.
[00:42:30.480 --> 00:42:38.880] You might have a liver that's sluggish, or you might have like, you know, for me, when I was completely burnt out, I would get these like rashes through my skin.
[00:42:38.880 --> 00:42:42.000] So, you know, it'll manifest in certain parts of your body.
[00:42:42.160 --> 00:42:42.800] Just scream.
[00:42:42.800 --> 00:42:43.440] Just do it.
[00:42:43.440 --> 00:42:43.840] Scream.
[00:42:44.080 --> 00:42:44.560] Middle of the day.
[00:42:45.360 --> 00:42:46.480] In the office.
[00:42:46.800 --> 00:42:48.240] You know what I do if you're in the office?
[00:42:48.240 --> 00:42:50.080] Because, you know, I talk to people.
[00:42:50.320 --> 00:42:51.040] In public.
[00:42:51.040 --> 00:42:52.880] I talk to companies about this.
[00:42:53.200 --> 00:42:55.360] So they asked, not at publics.
[00:42:55.360 --> 00:42:56.240] But grab your.
[00:42:56.560 --> 00:42:57.520] It should be accepted.
[00:42:57.520 --> 00:43:00.320] I literally have one of those tiny little pillows.
[00:43:00.800 --> 00:43:02.320] You have your tiny pillows.
[00:43:02.320 --> 00:43:04.080] You scream into a pillow.
[00:43:04.080 --> 00:43:07.200] And we literally have this while we're in the car, even with my kids.
[00:43:07.360 --> 00:43:08.880] I've taught them how to do this.
[00:43:08.880 --> 00:43:13.680] We even throw, like, we have extra paper in the car.
[00:43:13.680 --> 00:43:15.200] And so this is what happens.
[00:43:15.200 --> 00:43:19.440] We're like, you know, we crumble the paper up and then we're just, we're throwing it.
[00:43:19.440 --> 00:43:23.760] Because then, of course, the anger turns into silliness and then everyone's laughing.
[00:43:23.760 --> 00:43:24.160] Yeah.
[00:43:24.400 --> 00:43:25.280] So that's what happened.
[00:43:25.280 --> 00:43:25.760] That's what happened.
[00:43:25.760 --> 00:43:27.120] So we started to scream.
[00:43:27.120 --> 00:43:32.480] We screamed seven women in a room downstairs, conference room.
[00:43:32.480 --> 00:43:32.880] Yeah.
[00:43:33.440 --> 00:43:35.840] In the business, like in like a big hotel here.
[00:43:35.840 --> 00:43:37.040] I thought we were going to get kicked out.
[00:43:37.040 --> 00:43:40.960] I 100% was so stressed out for those 30 seconds.
[00:43:40.960 --> 00:43:42.240] It was doing the opposite.
[00:43:42.240 --> 00:43:45.760] We were screaming and some of them were like really enjoying it.
[00:43:45.760 --> 00:43:46.080] Okay.
[00:43:46.400 --> 00:43:47.520] Oh, they were startled too.
[00:43:47.640 --> 00:43:49.680] There were some that were like a little too much.
[00:43:49.680 --> 00:43:50.800] I'm like, girl, you've done this.
[00:43:50.800 --> 00:43:51.680] You do this a lot.
[00:43:51.680 --> 00:43:53.200] Like, don't just be like, I'm not doing this.
[00:43:53.440 --> 00:43:55.400] Or it's like we were giving them permission to just do it.
[00:43:55.520 --> 00:43:55.760] I know.
[00:43:55.760 --> 00:43:57.520] And then some were like, okay, I can do this.
[00:43:57.520 --> 00:43:58.240] I can do this.
[00:43:58.240 --> 00:43:59.880] Some were just like, okay, we'll do the stomping.
[00:43:59.880 --> 00:44:00.200] Like me.
[00:44:00.200 --> 00:44:01.800] I was like, this shit is weird.
[00:44:01.800 --> 00:44:03.560] And then I was just worried to get kicked out.
[00:44:03.560 --> 00:44:04.680] 30 seconds is so long.
[00:43:59.760 --> 00:44:06.520] And then I just started laughing.
[00:44:06.840 --> 00:44:08.440] So it actually turned into laughter.
[00:44:08.680 --> 00:44:12.360] It came into silliness for me because I was like, this is so ridiculous.
[00:44:12.360 --> 00:44:12.840] So ridiculous.
[00:44:13.080 --> 00:44:18.280] And I can see where that's really helpful to do.
[00:44:18.600 --> 00:44:21.400] And I would be more open to doing it in a pillow.
[00:44:21.400 --> 00:44:22.040] Okay, yeah.
[00:44:22.120 --> 00:44:22.440] I'm going to do that.
[00:44:22.520 --> 00:44:23.800] Yeah, I'm going to try that.
[00:44:23.800 --> 00:44:33.960] Well, that's what a lot of my corporate girlies, they're like, I bring my pillow that I sit with on my desk and I take it to the bathroom when somebody has said something.
[00:44:34.280 --> 00:44:35.160] And there you go.
[00:44:35.160 --> 00:44:40.040] Or like squeezing, you know, you take a towel and you're just squeezing it.
[00:44:40.040 --> 00:44:48.040] Same thing, but you're releasing the energy in a healthy way instead of letting it out on people.
[00:44:48.280 --> 00:44:48.600] I know.
[00:44:49.160 --> 00:44:52.680] It's actually, so it's finding these pockets of whatever works for you.
[00:44:52.680 --> 00:44:53.000] Right.
[00:44:53.000 --> 00:44:55.160] So whatever, there's like so many tools that you gave us.
[00:44:55.160 --> 00:44:56.520] They were so great.
[00:44:56.520 --> 00:45:00.600] And I really like the stat that you, one of the ones that really stuck out for me was laughter.
[00:45:01.000 --> 00:45:03.000] Because I do, I love to laugh.
[00:45:03.000 --> 00:45:03.320] Oh, yeah.
[00:45:03.800 --> 00:45:04.520] I love to laugh.
[00:45:04.520 --> 00:45:04.840] Yeah.
[00:45:04.840 --> 00:45:09.560] So kids giggle three to 400 times a day.
[00:45:09.560 --> 00:45:10.200] A day.
[00:45:10.200 --> 00:45:12.760] And adults only do it 10 to 12.
[00:45:12.760 --> 00:45:13.560] How sad are we?
[00:45:13.880 --> 00:45:15.880] 10 to 12 times.
[00:45:15.880 --> 00:45:18.680] And that's so sad.
[00:45:18.680 --> 00:45:19.560] It really is.
[00:45:19.720 --> 00:45:20.600] It is so sad.
[00:45:20.600 --> 00:45:24.520] Well, because we take ourselves so seriously and we take everything so seriously.
[00:45:24.520 --> 00:45:33.240] So I wonder if instead we get stuck in the suck, if we, you know, you can put on a clip or to some of the memes you share with your besties.
[00:45:33.240 --> 00:45:34.760] That's why your besties need those memes.
[00:45:34.760 --> 00:45:35.320] Done.
[00:45:35.320 --> 00:45:35.480] Okay.
[00:45:35.480 --> 00:45:39.240] So the doom strolling can work just if I'm doing really fun, funny, funny memes.
[00:45:39.240 --> 00:45:40.120] I do laugh out loud.
[00:45:40.120 --> 00:45:41.720] So when I do watch them, I'll do laugh out.
[00:45:41.720 --> 00:45:42.720] Like, I'll laugh out loud.
[00:45:42.680 --> 00:45:43.520] See, that's good.
[00:45:43.960 --> 00:45:49.920] These tools are so helpful and such a great reminder for all of us as busy moms, busy entrepreneurs.
[00:45:50.080 --> 00:45:53.840] Like there's so many decisions to make all day long.
[00:45:54.160 --> 00:46:06.080] I do feel a little crazy at the end of the day and I feel guilty then when I'm like not perfectly there and I want to be and just finding these little pockets through the day is something that I promise Nita I'm going to start prioritizing.
[00:46:06.080 --> 00:46:07.120] I'm going to report back to you.
[00:46:07.120 --> 00:46:07.520] Please do.
[00:46:07.600 --> 00:46:12.880] I'm going to report back to you and say, okay, how has the scrolling been at night or how are the wine cravings been better?
[00:46:12.880 --> 00:46:33.840] I do know 100% that like when my work is stressful because I have, I had a period where for like two years I was or about a year where I had this crazy, like I went from like a super executive workload of like 80 hours a week, like nonstop doing all the things to where it stopped.
[00:46:33.840 --> 00:46:37.840] Like I exited the company and then I was like in building mode, but I had more freedom of time.
[00:46:37.840 --> 00:46:40.320] Like it was like the best year of my life.
[00:46:40.320 --> 00:46:42.080] But did you take, you did take that time off.
[00:46:42.240 --> 00:46:46.400] It was like six months of real time off, like, but it wasn't that much time off until we were building again.
[00:46:46.400 --> 00:46:51.680] It was short-lived, but I was truly like yes, I was stress-free.
[00:46:51.680 --> 00:46:55.680] Like you could really tell my body, like that's when I like my health journey started.
[00:46:56.160 --> 00:47:00.720] Finally, the weight started coming off like just naturally, like just things were just sinking for me.
[00:47:01.600 --> 00:47:02.720] Yes, by cortisol.
[00:47:02.720 --> 00:47:08.320] I literally dropped seven pounds after my exit within eight months, not of changing anything.
[00:47:08.320 --> 00:47:08.640] Wow.
[00:47:08.640 --> 00:47:13.120] And I literally feel like it was 100% just cortisol.
[00:47:13.360 --> 00:47:17.120] Just like going into like the day-to-day of office life or startup life.
[00:47:17.280 --> 00:47:20.480] And the cortisol actually makes us more hungry, especially at night.
[00:47:20.480 --> 00:47:22.800] So, of course, then if that's already your cooking, all the things.
[00:47:23.120 --> 00:47:24.560] It's going to just keep adding up.
[00:47:24.560 --> 00:47:32.440] So, I do know that, like, and then that period of like, where now I'm back and now I'm like full, but I'm more conscious of it now.
[00:47:29.760 --> 00:47:35.320] And I appreciate these tools because I have better coping mechanisms.
[00:47:35.400 --> 00:47:37.640] And now, so do you, thanks to Dr.
[00:47:37.640 --> 00:47:38.200] Anita.
[00:47:38.200 --> 00:47:44.120] So, yes, that sucked, and that's important to acknowledge, to release, to not keep in inside.
[00:47:44.120 --> 00:47:45.560] That just makes a lot of sense.
[00:47:45.560 --> 00:47:46.040] Of course.
[00:47:46.040 --> 00:47:47.960] That's what they should teach us as parents.
[00:47:47.960 --> 00:47:50.600] Like, I literally let them be.
[00:47:50.920 --> 00:47:51.960] Yeah, let them be.
[00:47:51.960 --> 00:47:53.400] Yes, like, let them do it.
[00:47:53.400 --> 00:47:57.960] And I think is if we have issues about our kids crying or letting it's on us.
[00:47:57.960 --> 00:47:58.680] It is us.
[00:47:58.680 --> 00:47:59.400] It's our stuff.
[00:47:59.400 --> 00:48:00.120] It's our stuff.
[00:48:00.120 --> 00:48:00.920] And we have to clear it.
[00:48:01.400 --> 00:48:04.040] Yeah, it's because we're so exhausted because we're not releasing it.
[00:48:04.040 --> 00:48:06.200] And now we're like, mad them for releasing it.
[00:48:06.840 --> 00:48:07.480] Exactly.
[00:48:08.600 --> 00:48:09.960] They're just our mirrors.
[00:48:09.960 --> 00:48:12.040] You know, they're going to reflect back on what we need to do.
[00:48:12.280 --> 00:48:13.560] No, I love all these tools.
[00:48:13.560 --> 00:48:18.840] I'd love to hear from all of you what tools you are going to find little pockets of.
[00:48:18.840 --> 00:48:21.160] And if you haven't read That Sucked, Now What?
[00:48:21.480 --> 00:48:23.320] Adopt this mantra, get the book.
[00:48:23.320 --> 00:48:25.720] I'll be sharing everything onto the podcast.
[00:48:25.720 --> 00:48:28.280] But before I end it here, you moved to Dubai.
[00:48:28.280 --> 00:48:29.000] Oh my gosh, yes.
[00:48:29.240 --> 00:48:29.880] Crazy of all.
[00:48:30.040 --> 00:48:31.320] I can't wait for you to come and visit.
[00:48:31.800 --> 00:48:32.680] I can't wait.
[00:48:32.680 --> 00:48:33.640] I went to Dubai.
[00:48:33.880 --> 00:48:35.480] I've been to Dubai many times in my life.
[00:48:35.720 --> 00:48:36.120] You've spoken.
[00:48:36.520 --> 00:48:37.960] Yeah, I've done, I've done that.
[00:48:38.120 --> 00:48:43.160] I don't have, I have some family, distant family that's there.
[00:48:43.160 --> 00:48:52.360] But I used to go as a kid because I did have close family that lived in Dubai when Dubai was like up and coming and just growing.
[00:48:52.520 --> 00:48:59.720] And so I've had many wonderful memories in Dubai and it's so fun and so bougie and so flashy and all the things.
[00:49:00.040 --> 00:49:03.240] But I want to talk about your, like, what's next for you.
[00:49:03.240 --> 00:49:04.920] So, you've written four books.
[00:49:04.920 --> 00:49:10.600] You're, you know, taking a step back from like the, you know, doing all the coaching in Dharma Institute, all this stuff.
[00:49:10.600 --> 00:49:13.360] You moved to Dubai and you're like, I'm starting a new venture, and I want to hear.
[00:49:13.520 --> 00:49:14.480] Starting a new venture, yeah.
[00:49:14.720 --> 00:49:20.160] Well, it's helping women come back to these rituals to reset in their day.
[00:49:14.200 --> 00:49:21.360] And you know, I love chai.
[00:49:21.600 --> 00:49:22.160] I do.
[00:49:22.400 --> 00:49:23.520] I love chai.
[00:49:23.520 --> 00:49:28.880] I obviously geek out with all of the superfoods and the functional adaptogens.
[00:49:28.880 --> 00:49:38.960] And so I'm like, there's not one company that does it so that we can bring back ritual in our day for the busy go-getting mama.
[00:49:38.960 --> 00:49:42.080] So I've birthed Chaitonics.
[00:49:42.080 --> 00:49:53.840] It's actually in the works, but Chitonics is a luxury Ayurvedic, functional Ayurvedic wellness brand where we are doing powdered chai to support women in every season and stage of their life.
[00:49:53.840 --> 00:50:04.400] So, because I think that when we're getting into fertility, right, we start thinking about our hormones and all of these things, and if we have PCOS or like infertility.
[00:50:04.400 --> 00:50:11.200] And did you know that Shithavari is an Ayurvedic hormone that supports women and in every season and stage of their life?
[00:50:11.200 --> 00:50:16.080] So, just certain things of like brain fog and how Ashwagandha supports that.
[00:50:16.080 --> 00:50:20.960] So, I was tinkering a lot with my own chai, and that's how I've made it for many years.
[00:50:20.960 --> 00:50:27.280] I've also used chai as a ritual and a reset to reset my nervous system, especially when my babies were little.
[00:50:27.280 --> 00:50:32.160] I wouldn't meditate, but I would like crush the herbs to make my chai, and that was my seven-minute ritual.
[00:50:32.160 --> 00:50:36.880] And for people who've been following me for a while, they know that and they've seen the recipes and they've seen that.
[00:50:36.880 --> 00:50:39.040] And I'm like, there's something here.
[00:50:39.200 --> 00:50:39.840] It makes sense.
[00:50:39.840 --> 00:50:40.480] It makes sense.
[00:50:40.480 --> 00:50:46.160] And I want like the, there's so much knowledge and history in Ayurveda, right?
[00:50:46.160 --> 00:50:53.280] Like, the like now, as educated as we've become, like, we want, I want to have cleaner products.
[00:50:53.360 --> 00:50:57.680] I want to heal through natural ingredients and not through medication.
[00:50:58.000 --> 00:51:07.000] And so, if there's natural things for hair growth, for anxiety, or for hair loss, you know, and that's something like I do know, like, my mom always has a remedy for something.
[00:51:07.400 --> 00:51:11.000] She's probably been hair oiling, rosemary oil.
[00:51:11.160 --> 00:51:15.480] She'll take and she'll create these really cool tonics for my dreams.
[00:51:15.800 --> 00:51:19.000] Yes, when we're sick, right, with turmeric and with ginger.
[00:51:19.000 --> 00:51:27.160] And there's so much, there's so much science in this ancient history of Ayurveda that I think it's the right time.
[00:51:27.160 --> 00:51:29.320] And it's so, I love chai tonics.
[00:51:29.320 --> 00:51:30.600] I'm so excited for this.
[00:51:30.600 --> 00:51:31.160] Thank you.
[00:51:31.160 --> 00:51:35.240] Yeah, no, stepping into CPG world and value.
[00:51:35.240 --> 00:51:39.480] We've got an army full of awesome businesswomen that can support that CPG growth.
[00:51:39.480 --> 00:51:40.120] Let's go.
[00:51:40.120 --> 00:51:40.760] Let's do it.
[00:51:40.760 --> 00:51:48.520] I'm ready to learn all the things because, honestly, I've done all the things with books and digital products.
[00:51:48.520 --> 00:51:49.960] Physical products, though?
[00:51:49.960 --> 00:51:50.760] It's going to be great.
[00:51:51.160 --> 00:51:52.760] This is different, but I'm excited.
[00:51:52.760 --> 00:51:57.800] You know, every bit, I'll tell you, I'll give this advice to you as I would to any woman doing business.
[00:51:57.800 --> 00:51:58.280] Please.
[00:51:58.280 --> 00:52:06.280] It doesn't matter the product, whether you're a product-based company, you're a service-based company, you're a coach, whatever it is, business fundamentals are the same.
[00:52:06.600 --> 00:52:08.600] So you can apply those same business fundamentals.
[00:52:08.600 --> 00:52:12.520] You've already scaled multiple companies, you've taken them to multi-millions.
[00:52:12.520 --> 00:52:14.840] Like this is the same exact thing.
[00:52:14.840 --> 00:52:16.680] The playbook is the same.
[00:52:17.240 --> 00:52:18.920] The ingredients are a little different.
[00:52:19.160 --> 00:52:19.320] Right?
[00:52:19.320 --> 00:52:24.040] Like, ingredients are different, but it's still the same recipe, and you've got that recipe.
[00:52:24.040 --> 00:52:24.680] So that's chai.
[00:52:24.760 --> 00:52:26.040] Let's bring it back to the chai recipe.
[00:52:27.240 --> 00:52:29.000] I am so glad that we got to do this.
[00:52:29.000 --> 00:52:32.520] And I want to say hi to the Brave Table audience because I know that they're listening here too.
[00:52:32.760 --> 00:52:33.320] They are listening.
[00:52:33.480 --> 00:52:36.520] And I was on your show not too long ago.
[00:52:36.520 --> 00:52:41.160] And so I know you got a chance to hear my story, but I really, I'm sure you're learning again from Nita.
[00:52:41.160 --> 00:52:46.320] So welcome to the Brave Table audience that's listening today and to all of our audience.
[00:52:46.320 --> 00:52:47.040] We're so excited.
[00:52:47.040 --> 00:52:48.720] I hope you guys all took away something.
[00:52:48.720 --> 00:52:49.680] I'm going to go practice.
[00:52:44.520 --> 00:52:50.640] I'll report back.
[00:52:50.960 --> 00:52:53.680] And we'll see you guys next time on The SEO School.
[00:52:53.680 --> 00:52:54.560] Bye, everyone.
[00:52:54.560 --> 00:52:55.360] Woo!
[00:53:02.080 --> 00:53:03.280] Mazda?
[00:53:03.280 --> 00:53:07.760] Once you discover the Mazda CX90 plug-in hybrid, Mazda.
[00:53:07.760 --> 00:53:09.280] It doesn't take long to get it.
[00:53:09.280 --> 00:53:15.600] With three rows, a luxurious interior, and the ability to go all electric, it's flexible enough for nearly any journey.
[00:53:15.600 --> 00:53:20.320] It will have you saying, Mazda, the Mazda CX-90 plug-in hybrid.
[00:53:20.320 --> 00:53:21.920] It's made to move you.
[00:53:21.920 --> 00:53:27.920] Every Mazda SUV offers you an elevated driving experience and refined performance.
[00:53:27.920 --> 00:53:30.880] Discover it at Mazda White Plains.
[00:53:32.080 --> 00:53:34.800] Martha listens to her favorite band all the time.
[00:53:34.800 --> 00:53:40.000] In the car, gym, even sleeping.
[00:53:40.320 --> 00:53:45.120] So when they finally went on tour, Martha bundled her flight and hotel on Expedia to see them live.
[00:53:45.120 --> 00:53:49.680] She saved so much, she got a seat close enough to actually see and hear them.
[00:53:50.320 --> 00:53:51.440] Sort of.
[00:53:51.440 --> 00:53:53.680] You were made to scream from the front row.
[00:53:53.680 --> 00:53:55.920] We were made to quietly save you more.
[00:53:55.920 --> 00:53:58.240] Expedia, made to travel.
[00:53:58.240 --> 00:54:01.840] Savings vary and subject to availability, flight inclusive packages are at all protected.