We Can Do Hard Things

Follow the Tingle with Justina Blakeney

January 27, 2026

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  • Trusting "the tingle"—the quiet spark of delight and curiosity—is a crucial clue for knowing where one is meant to go and following it is for "the good of the realm." 
  • Self-respect, distinct from self-love or indulgence, involves holding oneself accountable with an encouraging voice that presupposes one's own importance. 
  • A feeling of not belonging anywhere can paradoxically offer the freedom to belong everywhere, ultimately leading to belonging more deeply to oneself, as articulated by the concept of self-sovereignty. 

Segments

Resolutions and Getting Curious
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(00:00:04)
  • Key Takeaway: Resolutions often fail because the goal should be getting curious about one’s true self rather than attempting to change.
  • Summary: By the end of January, resolutions are often recognized as ineffective; the braver approach is to investigate the self underneath the desire for change. Trusting one’s delight, curiosity, and creativity—what Justina Blakeney calls “the tingle”—serves as a vital clue to one’s true desires and path.
Justina Blakeney Introduction
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(00:01:24)
  • Key Takeaway: Justina Blakeney defines “the tingle” as the spark of delight and curiosity that guides one toward what feels alive and true.
  • Summary: Justina Blakeney, artist and designer, champions following “the tingle” as a guide for life direction. Trusting what delights a person redecorates not just their home, but their entire life. Her work emphasizes bringing joy and meaning into spaces as an extension of self-expression.
Living Close to the Wild Self
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(00:02:58)
  • Key Takeaway: Living close to one’s “wild” means operating from the inside out, reflecting one’s truest self in creation, speech, and action.
  • Summary: The host perceives Justina Blakeney as someone who lives very close to her truest self, operating from an internal compass rather than external expectations. The goal for listeners is not to emulate her, but to become more authentically themselves.
Belonging and Self-Sovereignty
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(00:06:41)
  • Key Takeaway: The freedom to belong everywhere or nowhere is achieved when one realizes they belong primarily to themselves, a concept linked to self-sovereignty.
  • Summary: Growing up multiracial and traveling fostered an early comfort with standing out or blending in, leading to a skill in adapting. The parental approach of not imposing identity allowed for a personal journey of self-discovery. Maya Angelou’s quote emphasizes that ultimate freedom comes from belonging only to oneself.
Self-Respect Over Self-Love
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(00:12:43)
  • Key Takeaway: Self-respect, which involves dignity and sovereignty, is a necessary angle on self-care that prevents actions from becoming mere indulgence or smothering.
  • Summary: The concept of self-sovereignty dictates that what is good for the individual is good for the collective (“the good of the realm”), contrasting with deprivation. Self-respect provides an encouraging inner voice that holds one accountable without resorting to shame, unlike critical self-talk.
Identifying Being Stuck
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(00:23:03)
  • Key Takeaway: Physical manifestations, such as chronic digestive issues, can serve as loud, undeniable messages that one is ignoring vital internal needs.
  • Summary: A turning point occurred when the host’s body sent a clear message, “You are not listening,” amidst years of ignoring a nervous stomach. This realization initiated a meditation practice focused on somatic awareness, moving attention from the head into the body’s sensations.
Body Signals and Life Force
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(00:29:57)
  • Key Takeaway: Business and life decisions can be evaluated by gauging whether an action increases or drains one’s vitality and life force, which is felt physically.
  • Summary: Through introspection, physical sensations have become clearer indicators for decision-making, translating into feeling ‘yes’ or ’no’ to opportunities. Aliveness and vitality are now the primary metrics for evaluating business choices, leading to necessary rhythm changes like closing an online shop to slow down and listen better.
Following Creative Tingle
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(00:33:40)
  • Key Takeaway: Following the tingle in creative pursuits, like painting, must remain intrinsically motivated, as external judgment risks extinguishing its magic.
  • Summary: The host believes that if everyone followed their most intense tingle, the world would be perfect, but fear often buries these desires. For creative work to sustain, it must be done for the self first; external appreciation is a bonus, not the primary driver.
Struggles with Maintenance Energy
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(00:50:04)
  • Key Takeaway: The energy required for maintenance (sustaining health goals or routines) is fundamentally different and often less motivating than the energy used for achieving a challenge goal.
  • Summary: The host struggles with the ’now what’ feeling after achieving health goals, as maintenance feels like a perpetual job without a clear reward. This difficulty with maintenance energy is shared by the guest, who was an elite athlete but never enjoyed the act of working out itself.
Future Dreams and Projects
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(00:55:58)
  • Key Takeaway: New, soulful projects that integrate past experiences and desired activities, like collaborating on a book or starting a song club, help move beyond maintenance mode.
  • Summary: Justina Blakeney is co-authoring a book called ‘Grow’ with her mother, a developmental psychologist, which focuses on difficult transitions and includes an Oracle card deck she illustrates. She is also launching a ‘song club’ to fulfill a lifelong desire to sing in community, recognizing the embodied harmony that singing together provides.