We Can Do Hard Things

Amanda’s Breakthrough: Finally Letting Go

November 20, 2025

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  • The definition of a 'vacation' versus a 'trip' sparks a humorous debate between Glennon and Abby, with Glennon using a biblical analogy to argue against camping in favor of modern comforts like air conditioning and couches. 
  • Writing about oneself (memoir) is defended as a necessary exploration of the universal human condition, contrasting it with the perceived arrogance of analyzing and judging others' lives. 
  • Amanda's breakthrough regarding control stems from realizing that her cancer diagnosis did not automatically realign her values, leading her to adopt a new goal: putting down the burdens (plates) that do not belong to her, rather than striving to hold them all up better. 

Segments

Sponsor Ad Break K18
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(00:00:00)
  • Key Takeaway: The K18 Molecular Repair Hair Mask uses a patented peptide to repair hair damage at the molecular level, offering a solution for maintaining hair health during coloring.
  • Summary: The K18 Molecular Repair Hair Mask claims to allow bleaching and coloring without wrecking hair by using a patented peptide that repairs damage at the molecular level. This product is presented as a deep repair solution, not a quick fix. Listeners can receive 10% off their first purchase using the code hardthings at k18hair.com.
Vacation vs. Camping Debate
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(00:02:56)
  • Key Takeaway: Vacation preference hinges on whether one seeks deprivation of modern luxuries (Abby’s view) or indulgence in them (Glennon’s view), exemplified by the camping argument.
  • Summary: A listener question about whether camping constitutes a vacation or character-building time initiates a debate between the hosts. Abby advocates for camping to experience the world without modern conveniences like running water to appreciate them later. Glennon counters by invoking a biblical interpretation suggesting that human innovation (like air conditioning and couches) represents ‘far greater works’ than nature itself, thus justifying avoiding camping.
Arrogance of Memoir Writing
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(00:09:18)
  • Key Takeaway: Using one’s own life as the specimen to explore the universal human condition is less arrogant than analyzing and judging the lives of others.
  • Summary: Glennon addresses the feeling of self-indulgence when writing memoirs, noting that critics often dismiss women’s interior explorations as self-centered, while men’s work is seen as exploring ‘great ideas.’ She argues that writing memoir is an act of claiming one’s voice and that the more specific and intimate the story, the more universal it becomes because the writer assumes they are not exceptional. Claiming one’s story defangs the weaponization of that story against women.
Sponsor Ad Break Mill
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(00:25:25)
  • Key Takeaway: The Mill food recycler turns holiday food scraps into nutrient-rich grounds overnight without odor or mess, simplifying kitchen cleanup.
  • Summary: Mill is promoted as a quiet, odorless food recycler that processes scraps like pie crusts and bones into grounds overnight, reducing kitchen chaos during the holidays. Listeners can get up to $200 off during a specific sale window or use code wecan for $75 off at mill.com/slash wecan.
Sponsor Ad Break Viori
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(00:26:58)
  • Key Takeaway: Viori Performance Joggers are valued for being buttery soft, looking put-together enough for public wear, and maintaining shape and softness after washing.
  • Summary: The Viori performance jogger is highlighted for its extreme softness, versatility for errands or flights, and durability through washing. Wearing comfortable clothes is linked to showing up better in life, positioning Viori as an investment in happiness. Listeners receive 20% off their first purchase at viori.com/slash hard things.
Sponsor Ad Break ZipRecruiter
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(00:28:51)
  • Key Takeaway: ZipRecruiter’s matching technology quickly connects employers with qualified candidates, with four out of five employers getting a quality candidate within the first day.
  • Summary: ZipRecruiter’s powerful matching technology simplifies hiring by sending top candidates directly to the user’s inbox. Users can also search an advanced resume database to unlock contact information for ready workers. The service is promoted as the smartest way to hire, offering a free trial at ziprecruiter.com/slash we can.
Sponsor Ad Break K18 (Revisited)
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(00:29:40)
  • Key Takeaway: The K18 Molecular Repair Hair Mask addresses hair texture changes and damage from coloring by using a peptide that repairs hair health weekly.
  • Summary: The K18 mask is recommended for those whose hair texture has changed or who frequently color their hair, as it repairs damage from coloring and heat. The patented K18 peptide works molecularly to renew hair, leaving it soft and strong without weighing it down. It is suggested for use just a few minutes once a week after coloring.
Amanda’s Control Breakthrough
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(00:31:28)
  • Key Takeaway: Amanda realized that surviving cancer did not automatically change her high-achieving, controlling paradigm, prompting a shift in goals from holding burdens to choosing whether to pick them up.
  • Summary: After a year post-cancer diagnosis, Amanda felt depressed realizing she hadn’t changed her schedule or expectations, clinging to the idea that the trauma should have forced a values realignment. She found a Buddhist framing: the goal is not to hold a heavy burden, but to make the burden so heavy that one chooses to put it down. This reframing allows her to question if she wants a new ‘plate’ in her life before taking it on, reducing the need for intense control.
Sponsor Ad Break Gain
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(00:41:12)
  • Key Takeaway: The Gain Wicked for Good collection offers three limited-edition scents designed to transport users to the world of Oz, adding delight to mundane chores.
  • Summary: Gain is promoting a limited-edition collaboration with Wicked, featuring three enchanting scents to bring magic to laundry routines. The scent boosters are noted for creating a feeling of happiness and calm, making everyday chores more delightful. The collection is available online and in retailers nationwide.
Sponsor Ad Break Coop Sleep Goods
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(00:42:35)
  • Key Takeaway: Coop adjustable pillows allow customization of height and firmness, offering deep rest risk-free with a hundred-night trial.
  • Summary: Coop Sleep Goods offers adjustable pillows where users can customize the fill for their perfect comfort level, eliminating guesswork in sizing. The company is hosting its biggest sale of the year (Black Friday/Cyber Monday) with up to 60% off. The purchase includes a free pillow consultation and a hundred-night, risk-free trial.
Sponsor Ad Break Zelle
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(00:43:54)
  • Key Takeaway: Zelle facilitates sending money quickly and securely directly into enrolled bank accounts, enabling small gestures of care when physical presence is impossible.
  • Summary: Zelle allows users to send money for small, meaningful gestures, such as supporting a friend or helping a family member with an unexpected expense. Money sent via Zelle goes directly into the recipient’s enrolled bank account, ensuring it is received quickly and securely. This service supports showing up for people in moments that count.
Peace as Means, Not End
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(00:44:56)
  • Key Takeaway: Peace must be the means by which one lives, not a future reward earned by enduring present hardship or delayed gratification.
  • Summary: The hosts express suspicion toward ‘Horizon Living,’ where current lack of peace is accepted as a necessary transaction for future peace. Amanda notes that living by outdated rules of delayed gratification is no longer suited to her current reality, forcing her to figure out a path based on volition rather than rigid rules. This transition from a long-term plan to self-directed choice is deeply uncomfortable but necessary for honest living.