3 Books With Neil Pasricha

Chapter 36: Two teenage Mormon missionaries on missing mom to make miracles

November 20, 2025

Key Takeaways Copied to clipboard!

  • Missionaries for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints adhere to strict rules, including foregoing secular entertainment and dating for two years, while funding their service through a significant upfront payment. 
  • The missionaries define their success not by immediate conversions (having had zero in nine months for Elder Cox in Canada), but by inviting others to seek personal spiritual confirmation through prayer. 
  • Despite strict adherence to doctrine regarding family structure and gender roles in leadership, the missionaries emphasize that all individuals are loved, and they value listening to and considering diverse worldviews, such as Buddhism or atheism, encountered on the street. 
  • The Mormon missionaries' faith emphasizes listening and respect when engaging with differing viewpoints, even finding shared values with those holding opposing beliefs like atheism. 
  • Mormon theology includes a belief in three degrees of glory (Telestial, Terrestrial, and Celestial kingdoms) after resurrection, with the Celestial kingdom being the goal for eternal progression with family. 
  • The concept of the Atonement of Jesus Christ is central to their belief system, offering forgiveness, peace, and the opportunity to attain the Celestial kingdom despite human imperfection. 

Segments

Clarifying Church Name
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(00:00:06)
  • Key Takeaway: The official name is The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, not ‘Mormonism’.
  • Summary: The host and missionaries clarify the correct name of the church and explain that ‘Mormon’ derives from the Book of Mormon.
Missionary Daily Life and Approach
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(00:01:29)
  • Key Takeaway: Missionaries adapt their outreach based on location, using door-knocking in rural areas and street interaction in Toronto.
  • Summary: Discussion on how missionaries operate, including the host’s first impression of them on Ossington Avenue and their dedication to engaging people.
Missionary Financial Sacrifice
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(00:06:37)
  • Key Takeaway: Missionaries pay a significant upfront cost (around $10,000 in the US) and receive no salary for their two-year service.
  • Summary: The host questions the financial commitment, learning that missionaries fund their own service and must remain highly consecrated.
Missionary Rules and Restrictions
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(00:08:40)
  • Key Takeaway: Missionaries must abstain from secular music, sports, and television to maintain focus on their work.
  • Summary: The missionaries list the restrictions on their entertainment and media consumption, mentioning the Church-produced show ‘The District’.
Core Commandments Explained
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(00:12:43)
  • Key Takeaway: The three major commitments taught are the Word of Wisdom, Law of Chastity, and the Law of Tithing.
  • Summary: The missionaries detail the requirements for joining the church, including abstaining from harmful substances, sexual relations before marriage, and paying 10% tithing.
Handling Doubt and Opposition
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(00:23:36)
  • Key Takeaway: Doubt is considered important for building faith, and having a companion helps missionaries process difficult questions and external criticism.
  • Summary: The missionaries discuss the internal struggle with doubt and the external challenges of receiving insults while sharing their beliefs.
Conversion Rates and Miracles
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(00:24:40)
  • Key Takeaway: Conversion is slow; neither missionary has personally overseen a baptism during their time in Canada, but they witness smaller ‘miracles’ like reconnecting lapsed members.
  • Summary: The host inquires about success rates, leading to a story about finding a member who was ready to re-engage with the church.
Gender Roles in Leadership
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(00:37:07)
  • Key Takeaway: While the highest leadership (Prophet and Apostles) consists of men, women hold equally vital roles, such as leading the Relief Society.
  • Summary: The structure of church leadership is discussed, focusing on why the highest offices are held by men and how the church views gender equality through different roles.
Host’s Mother’s Resilience
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(00:42:27)
  • Key Takeaway: The host’s mother survived significant cultural displacement by adopting a mindset of adding ‘yet’ to life’s perceived limitations.
  • Summary: The host shares a personal story about his mother’s strength, which inspires a chapter in his new book, leading to a discussion about swearing in the book.
Contrasting Belief Systems
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(00:49:58)
  • Key Takeaway: The speaker contrasts atheism, which relies on science and evolution, with growing trends of non-religion in some countries.
  • Summary: Discussion about atheism, belief in science/evolution, and the observation that some countries are trending toward having a majority with no religion.
Missionary Approach: Listening and Respect
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(00:50:54)
  • Key Takeaway: Missionaries prioritize listening to others five times more than they speak, aiming to understand different viewpoints while sharing their own beliefs respectfully.
  • Summary: The role of missionaries as listeners, trying to understand people who talk more than they do, and sharing their belief in the happiness God offers without forcing it.
Nurturing Values Like a Garden
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(00:51:32)
  • Key Takeaway: Focusing intense care and love on one area (like a single flower) can yield the most beautiful results.
  • Summary: An analogy comparing nurturing values to watering a single flower in a garden to make it the most beautiful, suggesting focused attention yields great results.
The Book of Mormon and Purchase
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(00:51:48)
  • Key Takeaway: The guest confirms the Book of Mormon is given for free by missionaries, though the host discovered it was also for sale in bookstores.
  • Summary: The host mentions not having read the Book of Mormon, noting its appearance, and the discussion shifts to the fact that missionaries give it away for free, contrasting with its retail price.
Finding Connection Across Beliefs
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(00:52:26)
  • Key Takeaway: The depth of the guest’s belief system allows them to find connections and shared values even when speaking with someone holding opposing views, like an atheist.
  • Summary: The host interprets the guest’s approach as zooming up a level to recognize shared humanity and connection, even with differing opinions.
Average Lifespan and Afterlife Beliefs
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(00:53:08)
  • Key Takeaway: The average human lifespan is estimated at 30,000 days, leading to a discussion about the belief in an afterlife.
  • Summary: Discussion about the 30,000-day average lifespan and the guest confirming belief in an afterlife, specifically the concept of the spirit world.
Spirit World and Gospel Opportunity
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(00:53:27)
  • Key Takeaway: The spirit world serves as a temporary waiting place where those who never heard the gospel of Jesus Christ get the opportunity to learn and convert.
  • Summary: Explanation of the spirit world: a place of peace for the righteous and regret for the unrighteous, where those who missed hearing the gospel can still receive that opportunity.
Resurrection and Perfect Bodies
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(00:54:30)
  • Key Takeaway: After the spirit world, people are resurrected with perfect bodies, tailored to their needs, which appeals to the host.
  • Summary: Details on resurrection, receiving perfect bodies (free from illness or disorder), and the host joking about defining his own ‘perfect body’ (e.g., getting a six-pack).
Three Kingdoms of Glory
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(00:55:45)
  • Key Takeaway: The afterlife includes three degrees of glory or kingdoms: Telestial, Terrestrial, and Celestial.
  • Summary: Introduction to the three kingdoms of heaven: Telestial (for those who continued in sin), Terrestrial (for honorable people who didn’t fully accept the gospel), and the Celestial kingdom.
Celestial Kingdom and Eternal Families
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(00:57:48)
  • Key Takeaway: The Celestial kingdom is the goal, where one lives in God’s presence, progresses, and families can be sealed to live together forever.
  • Summary: Description of the Celestial kingdom (glory of the sun), the ability to live with God and loved ones forever through temple sealing ordinances, which the host finds appealing.
Formative Lesson from Mosiah Chapter 4
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(01:01:39)
  • Key Takeaway: Reading difficult passages, like Mosiah chapter 4, led the guest to a profound realization of humility, repentance, and immediate joy through the Atonement.
  • Summary: The guest shares how reading Mosiah chapter 4, where King Benjamin speaks about repentance, caused the people to fall to the earth in humility and receive remission of sins, leading to immediate joy.
Atonement and Unconditional Love
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(01:04:05)
  • Key Takeaway: The core of the gospel is the Atonement of Jesus Christ, which allows forgiveness, freedom from guilt, and the opportunity for the Celestial kingdom.
  • Summary: Discussion on the Atonement, forgiveness, and the host offering a counterpoint that everyone is inherently perfect regardless of actions, citing Jesus’s mercy toward the adulterous woman.
Missionary Goal: Sharing Happiness
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(01:07:50)
  • Key Takeaway: The missionaries’ goal is to preach that God loves everyone and wants them to be happy, inviting people to see if their path offers greater happiness.
  • Summary: The guest emphasizes that God wants them to be happy and they invite others to explore their path without pushing them through the door, accepting everybody.
Guest Departure and Unfinished Books
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(01:09:19)
  • Key Takeaway: The conversation ended abruptly as the missionaries were leaving Toronto sooner than expected, leaving two of the three formative books undiscussed.
  • Summary: The host reflects sadly that he couldn’t schedule a follow-up to discuss the other two books because the Elders were reassigned and left Toronto early.
The Three Formative Books Chosen
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(01:11:06)
  • Key Takeaway: The three books chosen by the guests were The Book of Mormon, Unbroken, and The Hobbit, highlighting themes of mystical quests and unbreakable journeys.
  • Summary: The host lists the three books: The Book of Mormon (guest’s primary focus), Unbroken (Elder Cox), and The Hobbit (Elder Corona), noting the shared themes of accomplishing something bigger than oneself.
Appreciation for Missionary Commitment
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(01:12:27)
  • Key Takeaway: The host deeply respects the Elders’ commitment to dedicate two years of their youth to their mission, foregoing typical visual and literary stimulation.
  • Summary: The host praises the Elders for dedicating two years away from family and normal life, committing to a cause without access to other books, movies, or music.
Listener Feedback and Solitude
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(01:13:54)
  • Key Takeaway: A listener shares how the podcast accompanied her long drive and praises the formative nature of the Little House series.
  • Summary: Tanya calls from Saskatchewan, mentioning how the podcast accompanied her long drive and sharing her childhood love for the Little House series by Laura Ingalls Wilder.
Letter on Media Consumption
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(01:17:19)
  • Key Takeaway: A letter praises a previous guest’s command of language and questions the need for constant, shrill news consumption, suggesting people avoid their own thoughts.
  • Summary: Rich Gibbons writes about admiring a previous guest’s language and expressing bewilderment at friends whose TVs are always blaring ‘shrill, shocking, bloviating news source[s]’ turned up to 11.
Word of the Chapter: Consecrated
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(01:20:40)
  • Key Takeaway: The word ‘consecrated,’ meaning dedicated or declared sacred, was chosen by the guests.
  • Summary: The host defines ‘consecrated’ based on the guests’ usage, noting it means giving 100% of oneself and being dedicated as sacred.
Value of Diverse Conversations
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(01:21:43)
  • Key Takeaway: The host emphasizes the importance of seeking out conversations with people from different belief systems to challenge and grow one’s mind.
  • Summary: The host concludes by stressing that it is too easy to be insular, and meeting people like the two teenage Mormon missionaries from the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints in downtown Toronto challenges and grows the mind.