Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Rerelease: Nikki Glaser

December 31, 2025

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  • Both Dax Shepard and Nikki Glaser share a deep-seated anxiety about being judged, leading them to either over-prepare (Dax's past self) or under-prepare (Nikki's current strategy) for high-stakes events. 
  • Nikki Glaser's comedic style and willingness to address insecurities stem from a history of feeling overlooked and resentful about not being born as conventionally attractive as her sister. 
  • The conversation reveals a shared pattern among successful people of feeling like an imposter or fraud, especially when interacting with established A-listers, leading to an intense focus on avoiding perceived slights or obligatory praise. 
  • Nikki Glaser and Dax Shepard explore the deep-seated fear of rejection, noting how it can lead to pursuing unavailable partners or avoiding dating altogether, and how accepting a partner's genuine attraction can be a long-awaited breakthrough. 
  • The conversation highlights that secrecy and shame around habits (like marijuana use or past behaviors) are often the core problem, rather than the habit itself, a concept echoed by sex therapist advice regarding sexual kinks. 
  • Both Glaser and Shepard connect personal growth and success, such as Glaser's comedy career trajectory compared to Taylor Swift's, to the realization that hard work can overcome a perceived lack of natural talent, and that confronting one's flaws (like jealousy or past mean-spirited comments) is necessary for true peace. 
  • The universe presented a striking coincidence when the speaker encountered a man whose Instagram story they admired, leading to an internal debate about initiating contact. 
  • The discovery of a 1948-1950 'Dax Armchair' designed at UCLA and manufactured in Michigan profoundly shocked Dax Shepard, suggesting an uncanny connection to his name. 
  • Nikki Glaser shared a strong, self-aware apology to Taylor Swift regarding past critical comments, which Taylor Swift responded to with grace, emphasizing themes of personal growth and change. 

Segments

Pre-show Nerves and Imposter Syndrome
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(00:02:51)
  • Key Takeaway: Nikki Glaser experiences imposter syndrome before interviews, fearing close attention will expose her as a fraud.
  • Summary: The anticipation of being studied before a podcast causes anxiety for Nikki Glaser, who worries her lack of perceived talent will be revealed. She prefers having many events stacked together to avoid having time to overthink and spin out about any single one. Dax Shepard contrasts this with his past tendency to over-prepare for interviews like those on Stern.
Golden Globes Joke Aftermath
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(00:05:04)
  • Key Takeaway: Dax Shepard experienced significant anticipatory anxiety over a potentially mean joke Nikki Glaser made about him at the Golden Globes.
  • Summary: Dax was bracing for impact from Nikki’s monologue jokes, expecting them to target his deepest insecurities, but the actual joke was benign, focusing on him asking guests onto the podcast. Nikki explains she avoided the joke because it targeted her fear of being seen as opportunistic for inviting guests. Dax notes that his own insecurity about being seen as ugly or riding coattails was what he prepared for, not the actual joke.
Insecurity and Roast Culture
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(00:07:51)
  • Key Takeaway: Insecurity is a prerequisite for effective roasting, as comedians must empathize with perceived flaws to craft sharp material.
  • Summary: Nikki notes that she only writes mean jokes when hired for roasts because she is constantly evaluating her own insecurities, allowing her to spot them in others. She obtained explicit permission from Benny Blanco before using a joke about him and Selena Gomez at the Golden Globes, as the event was not a roast. Dax reflects on how his past participation in roasts, like the Tom Brady one, was easier when he felt less famous and therefore a smaller target.
The Injustice of Appearance
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(00:31:33)
  • Key Takeaway: Men historically had more avenues to achieve status through confidence and intelligence, whereas women were often limited to achieving status through conventional beauty.
  • Summary: Nikki details her lifelong struggle with feeling ugly compared to her conventionally beautiful sister, leading to resentment and a desire for approval through being ’extraordinary.’ She realized that her muscular legs, which she once resented, were simply inherited traits, offering perspective on unearned physical attributes. Dax acknowledges that as a man, he could transcend physical insecurities by focusing on confidence and humor, a luxury historically unavailable to women.
Origins of Eating Disorder
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(00:41:04)
  • Key Takeaway: Nikki Glaser’s anorexia began as a superpower derived from successfully mastering the societal pressure to restrict eating, which provided confidence.
  • Summary: The first thing Nikki felt she was truly good at was not eating, which gave her a rush because it aligned with the diet culture of the time. This behavior was reinforced when a girl whose opinion mattered told her she looked great after a day of not eating. The behavior escalated after she won a date with a boy she liked, as the resulting nervousness led to an inability to eat, which was then praised.
Unavailable Men and Rejection Fear
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(00:43:59)
  • Key Takeaway: Avoiding romantic rejection can manifest as consciously choosing unavailable partners, like celebrities, to preemptively eliminate the possibility of being turned down.
  • Summary: One strategy for avoiding rejection involves being attracted to men who are entirely unavailable, such as famous figures like Matt Damon or Ben Affleck. This mechanism ensures that rejection cannot occur because the relationship is inherently impossible. Nikki Glaser admits that her current lack of pursuit in dating stems from the horrific nature of rejection, leading to a guarded approach.
Accepting Partner’s Good Taste
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(00:44:54)
  • Key Takeaway: It took Nikki Glaser thirteen years to fully accept that her long-term boyfriend has good taste and genuinely chose her without manipulation.
  • Summary: Glaser struggled with the belief that her boyfriend must have bad taste for liking her, viewing their relationship as a win she had to maintain. This insecurity persisted until May, when she finally trusted that he chose her without being tricked. This realization was tied to accepting her own spectacular nature, which she previously doubted.
Boredom and Relationship Dynamics
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(00:45:36)
  • Key Takeaway: A relationship conflict arose when Glaser stated she was bored, prompting her boyfriend to counter that she is one of the most boring people he knows, which she accepted because he affirmed he wouldn’t use it against her.
  • Summary: During a near-breakup attempt, Glaser admitted boredom, to which her boyfriend responded by calling her boring, referencing her homebody nature which contrasts with his love for outdoor activities. He reassured her that he accepted this trait and would never weaponize it, unlike how her father treated her mother. This acceptance helped Glaser trust him regarding her inherent personality traits.
Marijuana Use and Relationship Secrecy
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(00:47:17)
  • Key Takeaway: Secrecy surrounding marijuana use, even if the partner doesn’t explicitly confront it, creates relationship issues, whereas honesty removes the problem, as demonstrated by a sex therapist’s advice on shame.
  • Summary: Glaser feels guilt over hiding her occasional marijuana use from her partner, who has never used drugs and is uncomfortable with it due to past experiences and a control issue. Dax Shepard suggests that the issue lies in the secrecy, referencing a sex therapist who stated that shame and secrecy around any behavior (even kinks) are the problem, not the behavior itself if openly acknowledged.
Weed’s Effect vs. Other Addictions
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(00:52:06)
  • Key Takeaway: Marijuana is difficult to evaluate as an addictive behavior because it often lacks the visible wreckage (DUIs, physical altercations) associated with substances like alcohol.
  • Summary: Glaser admits that marijuana provides her with instant, short-term relief from depression and suicidal thoughts, allowing her to function without the obvious sloppiness of alcohol. Because it doesn’t cause external wreckage, it is harder to assess its true impact, though she acknowledges it can affect her intelligence and humor.
Taylor Swift Comparison and Hard Work
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(00:52:57)
  • Key Takeaway: Nikki Glaser’s massive success is attributed to her relentless hard work, mirroring Taylor Swift’s trajectory of proving doubters wrong through sheer stubborn effort.
  • Summary: Dax Shepard compares Glaser to the ‘Taylor Swift of comedy’ because both women have worked incredibly hard to achieve their status, deciding they would succeed regardless of external validation. This work ethic allows one to catch up to natural talents, emphasizing that the difference between good and great is often just sustained hard work.
Free Soloing High-Stakes Events
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(00:55:33)
  • Key Takeaway: Glaser realized she ‘free soloed’ the Golden Globes and the Tom Brady roast by over-practicing her material to the point where there was no room for error, similar to a free solo climber.
  • Summary: By repeatedly testing and refining her jokes for high-stakes events, Glaser eliminated the possibility of failure, creating a state of performance where she felt no nervousness. This contrasts sharply with activities like improv or crowd work, which she avoids because they involve an unacceptable level of risk and lack of control.
Surrender and Control Freak Tendencies
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(00:56:31)
  • Key Takeaway: For control freaks like Glaser, surrendering control in specific zones, such as through certain sexual dynamics or high-stakes performance, provides intense pleasure.
  • Summary: Glaser, who describes her routine as psychotic and sadistic in its need for control, finds bliss in moments where she must surrender. She identifies a submissive preference in her sexual interests (‘baby girl style’) where she is being told what to do, mirroring the adrenaline rush she seeks on stage when she forces herself into unpredictable situations.
Apologizing and Releasing Guilt
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(01:05:25)
  • Key Takeaway: Glaser’s ability to listen to Taylor Swift’s music again followed her public apology, signifying that owning her jealousy-fueled comments allowed her to release the guilt and repent.
  • Summary: Glaser felt immense guilt after realizing her past mean comments about Taylor Swift regarding body image appeared in Swift’s documentary, especially since Swift was struggling with eating issues at the time. She realized her negative comments stemmed from jealousy and insecurity about not fitting in, and making a genuine, non-excusing apology allowed her to feel ‘clean’ and move past the incident.
Alan Carr’s Quit Smoking Method
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(01:11:53)
  • Key Takeaway: Alan Carr’s ‘Easy Way’ method for quitting smoking works by systematically dismantling every rationalization or excuse a smoker has for continuing the habit.
  • Summary: Glaser quit smoking in 2009 after reading Alan Carr’s book, noting that the process allows the reader to smoke while reading until the end, where the book proves the habit offers no real benefit. The method successfully convinced her that alcohol did not make her more social or brave, but merely ‘dumb’ by impairing judgment, leaving no logical reason to continue.
Shifting Addictions and Spiritual Problems
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(01:14:32)
  • Key Takeaway: When alcohol was removed, Glaser’s addictive behaviors shifted to food (binge eating/bulimia) because her underlying issue was spiritual, not just symptomatic.
  • Summary: After quitting drinking, Glaser’s compulsion moved to food, which she managed through a 12-step program specific to eating disorders, realizing that starving herself was a spiritual problem she needed to address. She emphasizes that for many addictions, the 12-step process helps uncover the root fears and teaches vulnerability, which white-knuckling sobriety would have prevented.
Guilt Over Feeling Too Good
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(01:18:35)
  • Key Takeaway: Dax Shepard avoids taking prescribed ADD medication because he feels guilty, believing he is cheating and undeserving of accomplishments achieved without intense, difficult effort.
  • Summary: Shepard feels that taking medication that makes him feel ’too good’ invalidates his achievements, leading to guilt over not earning success through struggle. This reflects a deeper belief that he is unworthy unless he is constantly working hard, a feeling he recognizes is common when people stop a negative behavior and then immediately replace it with another coping mechanism.
Fear of Being a Mean Girl
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(01:20:04)
  • Key Takeaway: Glaser’s fear of being a sociopath or a bad person is mitigated by her willingness to publicly explore her darkest thoughts on stage, which normalizes those thoughts for the audience.
  • Summary: Glaser worries she is a ‘secretly mean girl’ because she lashes out at people she is jealous of, like Taylor Swift, to protect herself from being judged for wanting attention. By sharing these thoughts on stage, hearing laughter confirms that others share similar dark impulses, suggesting she is not a sociopath who lacks empathy.
Coincidence and Missed Connection
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(01:26:16)
  • Key Takeaway: The speaker experienced a strong visceral reaction upon coincidentally encountering a funny, admired acquaintance in person after texting a friend about his availability.
  • Summary: The speaker saw a funny person’s Instagram story and texted a friend to inquire about his relationship status, learning he was likely straight but possibly not single. The next day, the speaker walked past this person in person but froze due to the overwhelming coincidence, hiding in a store instead of saying hello. This failure to act was later regretted, contrasting with previous instances where the speaker resolved to compliment attractive strangers.
Dax Armchair Museum Discovery
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(01:33:13)
  • Key Takeaway: A museum in Toronto features a ‘Dax Armchair’ designed at UCLA between 1948 and 1950, which was intended to be an affordable furniture piece.
  • Summary: A friend sent photos of an Ames chair in a Toronto museum identified as the ‘Dax Armchair,’ designed between 1948 and 1950 at UCLA. This chair was manufactured by Herman Miller Furniture Co. in Michigan and shared a second prize in a 1948 low-cost furniture design competition. The original listing price was about $20, equivalent to $100 in modern terms, and its French name is ‘Fatulier Dax.’
Signs and Self-Motivation
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(01:37:13)
  • Key Takeaway: The discovery of the Dax Armchair was interpreted as a positive sign from the universe, similar to how others use signs to feel steady and encouraged.
  • Summary: The Dax Armchair coincidence was viewed as a positive sign, similar to how Elizabeth from the podcast ‘Nobody’s Listening’ sees signs from her deceased parents. Dax referenced Laird Hamilton’s practice of telling his wife, Gabrielle, ‘It’s going to be fine’ when she is fragile, offering steady reassurance. The discussion then shifted to quitting habits, where the phrase ‘I don’t do that anymore’ is considered a powerful, encompassing statement for past actions.
Gen Z Slang and Sexual Dynamics
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(01:46:21)
  • Key Takeaway: The term ‘baby girl’ is Gen Z slang for an attractive man, but it also describes a sexual dynamic where a dominant woman is sexually subordinate to a man who may be subordinate to her in life.
  • Summary: ‘Baby girl’ is slang used to describe an attractive man, like Austin Butler or Timothy Chalamet, often implying cuteness or vulnerability. In a sexual context, it describes a dynamic where a woman who is dominant in life adopts a subordinate sexual role, potentially to a man who is otherwise subordinate to her. Dax noted that in his past relationships, he experienced aggressive dynamics that were more like ’two equals wrestling match’ rather than a clear dominant/submissive structure.
Taylor Swift Apology Exchange
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(01:50:04)
  • Key Takeaway: Nikki Glaser issued a strong apology for a five-year-old comment about Taylor Swift’s weight, which Taylor Swift accepted by highlighting the documentary’s theme of personal growth and change.
  • Summary: Nikki Glaser apologized for a soundbite from five years prior where she criticized Taylor Swift for being ’too skinny’ and having model friends, attributing the comment to jealousy and projection regarding her own eating disorder struggles. Taylor Swift responded appreciatively, noting that a major theme of her documentary is the ability to change opinions over time and grow. Taylor sent a ‘massive hug,’ which the hosts deemed an aspirational and repairing response.