Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Wild Card IX

November 7, 2025

Key Takeaways Copied to clipboard!

  • The first anonymous caller, 'Nikki,' shared a traumatic story from 2007 in North Idaho involving a severe vaginal injury sustained from falling off a slack line, which led to an embarrassing trip to the ER. 
  • The second anonymous caller, 'Riley,' detailed a harrowing experience where an emotionally manipulative ex-boyfriend staged a suicide attempt via text message to force her to talk to him after she tried to set boundaries. 
  • The third anonymous caller, 'Christina,' recounted an extreme cautionary tale where she discovered a dead mouse in her stainless steel water bottle after drinking from it multiple times throughout the day, leading to medical treatment for potential illness. 
  • A specific anecdote involving a forgotten lighter, initials, and a potential romantic gesture led to a discussion about a shared, unspoken understanding among 'us guys' that might not translate well when spoken aloud, especially to women. 
  • The concept of yelling 'taxi' in any situation, regardless of context, was introduced as a memorable phrase or signal, possibly related to the preceding story. 
  • The speakers reacted strongly to negative audience feedback ('gave me the ick') regarding a previously shared story, suggesting a difference in perspective on what constitutes an undesirable or 'icky' behavior. 

Segments

Armchair Anonymous Introduction
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(00:00:14)
  • Key Takeaway: The ‘Armchair Anonymous’ segment of the Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard podcast features listeners submitting ‘Wild Card’ stories, often including evacuation narratives.
  • Summary: Dax Shepard and Monica Padman welcome listeners to the ‘Armchair Anonymous’ segment, specifically noting this is ‘Wildcard IX.’ They encourage listeners to continue submitting their wildcard stories at any time. The hosts express a particular fondness for these unpredictable submissions.
Nikki’s Slack Line Injury
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(00:04:43)
  • Key Takeaway: A 2007 incident in North Idaho resulted in a severe vaginal injury for the caller after falling off a tightly strung slack line, leading to profuse bleeding and a chaotic trip to the ER.
  • Summary: The caller, ‘Nikki,’ recounted falling off a slack line tied between two pillars over water, resulting in the webbing snapping directly against her vagina. Her panicked friends instructed her to get back in the water to hide the blood, and her friend ‘Jessica’ was called to bring towels, mistakenly thinking it was period-related. Upon seeking medical attention, the caller refused stitches, opting for a butterfly bandage instead.
Riley’s Stalker and Suicide Hoax
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(00:14:31)
  • Key Takeaway: A college acquaintance, ‘Dan,’ weaponized the caller’s empathy by fabricating a story about being robbed at gunpoint and later faking a suicide attempt via text to maintain contact after she tried to end their friendship.
  • Summary: The caller, ‘Riley,’ detailed a relationship with a strange man, ‘Dan,’ at Temple University, which soured after she rejected his romantic advances following a shared viewing of The Lord of the Rings. After she cut contact, he sent a text implying suicide, leading Riley to call emergency services, only to discover he was fine and had lied about the robbery that preceded the hoax.
Christina’s Mouse Water Horror
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(00:27:42)
  • Key Takeaway: Leaving an unsealed stainless steel water bottle in a car overnight in Boston allowed a large city mouse to enter and drown, leading the caller to drink mouse-contaminated water seven times before discovery.
  • Summary: The caller, ‘Christina,’ drank from a water bottle filled with Smart Water after a long day, unaware a mouse had entered through a slightly loose cap in the parking garage. She noticed gritty white residue in her coffee the next morning, which was later theorized to be mouse remnants, and upon dumping the water at home, a dead mouse emerged. She subsequently required deworming and antibiotics and replaced all stainless steel bottles with clear glass ones.
Zelda’s Lost Hike and Rescue
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(00:38:28)
  • Key Takeaway: A hike in San Diego’s Discanso mountains turned into a search and rescue operation after the caller and her boyfriend, ‘Fred,’ got lost following an outdoor sexual encounter and Fred severely injured his knees attempting to parkour uphill.
  • Summary: The caller, ‘Zelda,’ and her boyfriend Fred, who was wearing his sweatshirt tied around his waist, became lost after smoking marijuana and wandering off-trail. Fred injured both kneecaps attempting a steep ascent, and after realizing they were stranded without service, they called 911, only to learn Fred’s earlier text to his roommate had already initiated a helicopter search. They were airlifted to a casino, marking the end of their relationship.
Lighter, Initials, Serendipity
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(00:52:23)
  • Key Takeaway: A man retrieving a lighter left at a treatment center, which shared initials with his companion, was interpreted by the companion as a sign of serendipity.
  • Summary: A man visited Charlie in treatment to retrieve a lighter he had left behind. The young woman accompanying him was excited because the lighter’s initials matched hers, leading her to believe it was a sign of serendipity. She offered to drive the lighter to him, prompting a response of ‘Merry Christmas.’
Yelling Taxi Analogy
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(00:52:39)
  • Key Takeaway: Charlie suggested that when someone says something significant, one should metaphorically yell ’taxi,’ regardless of the current setting, as a form of acknowledgment or reaction.
  • Summary: Charlie shared a rule: when someone says something noteworthy, one should yell ’taxi,’ even if situated in an unusual place like a bathtub or on horseback. This was proposed as a potential equivalent reaction to the serendipitous lighter situation. The speakers acknowledged this as a shared, unspoken understanding among men that might be misinterpreted if voiced to women.
Audience Feedback and Ickiness
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(00:53:08)
  • Key Takeaway: Negative audience feedback, specifically the term ‘gave me the ick,’ was received regarding a previously shared story, leading to a defense of the behavior as potentially related to genuine affection.
  • Summary: A post about a story received comments, one stating the content ‘gave me the ick’ and that the poster should never be heard from again. One speaker expressed sympathy for the commenter, suggesting that if that scenario causes the ‘ick,’ the commenter might not understand love. The speakers concluded that people are very specific about what triggers their ‘ickiness.’
Podcast Sign-off and Promotion
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(00:53:36)
  • Key Takeaway: The hosts introduced a new, improvised theme song segment for the ‘Armchair Anonymous’ portion of the show before directing listeners to subscription and survey links.
  • Summary: The hosts decided to sing a tune since the new show segment lacked a theme song, improvising lyrics about asking random questions with ‘Armcherries’ help. Listeners were directed to follow Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard on Wondery, Amazon Music, or other podcast platforms. Listeners can access early, ad-free episodes via Wondry Plus and are encouraged to complete a survey at wondry.com/slash survey.