Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Moving

October 10, 2025

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  • The first caller, Hannah, detailed a disastrous U-Haul move to Washington, D.C., in 2016 where they accidentally drove the van into a parking garage with insufficient clearance, resulting in a large hole in the roof. 
  • The second caller, Michael, recounted a harrowing experience during a move to Los Angeles where a moving company employee, Jose, severely injured his hand on the truck's lift gate, leading to a chaotic hospital visit where Michael was initially removed by security for advocating for the injured worker. 
  • The third caller, Carly with a K, shared a bizarre story of moving into a house rented from a law instructor who was simultaneously going through a messy divorce with an ex-wife of the same name, culminating in the caller having to move all their belongings into a quad trailer to escape the situation due to a supposed 24-hour 'squatters' rights' rule. 
  • The moving experience detailed by the 'Armcherry' involved catastrophic incompetence from the moving company, including property damage, unsanitary conditions (urine on the floor), and nearly causing a fire. 
  • Despite the extreme stress and failures during the move, the guest's supportive employer stepped in to manage the fallout, including arranging for replacement furniture and dealing with the moving company. 
  • The guest's harrowing experience moving from Toronto to San Francisco highlighted the significant bureaucratic hurdles associated with international work permits. 

Segments

Intro and Hannah’s DC Move
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(00:00:14)
  • Key Takeaway: A recent college graduate and friend attempted a self-move to D.C. using a U-Haul van, immediately leading to a major error.
  • Summary: Hannah and her friend Katie decided to move themselves to D.C. in 2016 after graduating with degrees in International Relations and film marketing, respectively. They followed Katie’s lead into a parking garage, scraping the top of the U-Haul van against the low ceiling and tearing a foot-long hole in the roof. The group was then trapped because the exit arm would not activate for the damaged vehicle.
Parking Garage Escape Debacle
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(00:06:38)
  • Key Takeaway: The trapped group spent over an hour trying to exit the parking garage before a staff member manually lifted the exit arm, which could have been done earlier.
  • Summary: Katie’s normally relaxed father became extremely panicked upon realizing the extent of the damage, fearing he would have to purchase the ruined U-Haul. After failed attempts to use the exit and being told by the front desk that exiting through the entrance was impossible, they called for assistance. A staff member eventually arrived and simply pushed the exit arm up manually, resolving the hour-long standoff.
U-Haul Insurance and Aftermath
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(00:11:36)
  • Key Takeaway: The U-Haul insurance policy explicitly excluded damage caused by parking garages, but the father successfully claimed the damage was caused by a falling tree branch.
  • Summary: Upon finally escaping the garage, they discovered the U-Haul insurance excluded damage from parking garages, leading to fears of having to buy the van. The move into the apartment took hours, made worse by being Halloween weekend. The next morning, the father returned the van, and a kind U-Haul employee accepted the story that a tree branch caused the roof damage, saving them from financial liability.
Michael’s Moving Injury Story
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(00:15:12)
  • Key Takeaway: Michael moved 14 times in 15 years, and during a professional move to LA, a mover named Jose lost three fingers in the truck’s lift gate.
  • Summary: Michael, who had moved 14 times in 15 years, hired movers for his 2012 relocation from Santa Barbara to West Hollywood, which initially went smoothly. A mover named Jose suffered a severe hand injury when the lift gate closed on his fingers, leaving them dangling by skin shreds. Michael drove Jose to the hospital, where he faced significant delays in receiving pain medication due to American healthcare bureaucracy, eventually having to intervene with security before morphine was administered.
Hospital Inaction and Happy Ending
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(00:25:03)
  • Key Takeaway: Despite initial poor treatment at the ER, the mover’s fingers were saved, and two years later, Jose returned as a mover for Michael’s next relocation.
  • Summary: Michael felt responsible for the incident and gave Jose’s brother cash outside the ER after a doctor finally provided morphine. Michael later called the moving company to check on Jose and was relieved to hear he was recovering. Two years later, when Michael moved to New York City, Jose showed up as part of the new moving crew, his hand fully functional despite scarring.
Carly’s Identity Crisis Move
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(00:28:36)
  • Key Takeaway: Carly moved into a house rented from a law instructor named Kim, only to be confronted by his ex-wife, who shared the exact same name.
  • Summary: Carly and her fiancé moved into a condo offered cheaply by their program’s department head and new law instructor, Kim, who was going through a divorce. Upon moving in, Kim’s ex-wife confronted Carly, claiming ownership of the house, leading to police involvement. The instructor advised Carly to stay for 24 hours to establish ‘squatters’ rights’ before he arrived, but Carly’s parents heroically helped them move their belongings into a quad trailer that night.
Law Instructor’s Unethical Behavior
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(00:35:08)
  • Key Takeaway: The unethical instructor who rented the house was kept on as a law teacher for four months after the incident and later faced accusations of soliciting a client for sex.
  • Summary: The college department head confirmed the instructor would be fired after the semester, meaning Carly had to take his law class for four months, where he frequently mentioned his legal availability. Carly later learned through her mother that the instructor had previously solicited a divorce client for sex in exchange for lower fees. Furthermore, online reviews suggested the instructor had a pattern of corruption and property-related fraud.
Steph’s International Relocation Stress
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(00:42:27)
  • Key Takeaway: Moving internationally from Canada to San Francisco required applying for the work visa at the airport on the day of departure, creating immense stress.
  • Summary: Steph moved from Toronto to San Francisco in 2021 with her husband and two cats under an international relocation package. The most stressful part was the requirement to apply for the U.S. visa at the airport on the day of departure, risking the loss of their entire life if denied. They also had significant difficulty managing their rambunctious, semi-feral cat through airport security procedures.
Hotel Stay and Moving Delays
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(00:47:59)
  • Key Takeaway: After landing, the family endured a miserable hotel stay where their elderly cat urinated on the bed, and their belongings delivery was delayed by a day.
  • Summary: After finally being approved for entry, the family arrived late in San Francisco and checked into a grungy, pet-friendly hotel while awaiting their furniture shipment. The elderly cat urinated on the bed, and the hotel staff made the husband wash the soiled sheets in the commercial machine. The planned move-in day was complicated when the rental furniture removal overlapped with the delivery of their own possessions.
Moving Day Disasters Begin
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(00:50:59)
  • Key Takeaway: The guest’s initial housing situation involved concerns over mattress cleanliness before the main moving crew arrived.
  • Summary: The guest expressed immediate discomfort with the temporary housing after discovering they had to clean and make their own bed with new sheets, questioning the prior cleanliness of the mattress. Unhappy cats and the small space prompted the guest to contact their boss for assistance. The employer subsequently arranged for rental furniture to be delivered to the secured apartment.
Unpacking Crew’s Late Arrival
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(00:51:26)
  • Key Takeaway: The full-service moving crew, contracted to unpack everything and reassemble furniture, arrived three hours late, causing immediate concern about completing the extensive job in one day.
  • Summary: After weeks with rental furniture, the delivery company arrived late, just before lunchtime, despite a 9 a.m. scheduled arrival. The guest noted the job scope included unpacking every box, reassembling furniture disassembled in Toronto, and completing the entire setup in one day. The arrival of only two movers for a large job in a hilly San Francisco location raised immediate doubts about their capacity.
Mover Incompetence and Damage
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(00:52:49)
  • Key Takeaway: The moving crew exhibited a complete lack of process, resulting in aesthetic damage to furniture and contamination of personal items with black, greasy fingerprints.
  • Summary: The movers lacked a game plan, randomly unpacking boxes without directing items to the correct rooms or beginning furniture assembly. The older mover struggled significantly while attempting to build the bed, causing a large scratch on the headboard and stripping screws. Furthermore, black, greasy fingerprints from handling packing newspaper were found on nearly every item, requiring the guest to clean belongings for weeks.
Unsanitary Bathroom Incident
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(00:54:27)
  • Key Takeaway: The guest discovered a significant urine spill on the bathroom floor next to the toilet, strongly suggesting one of the movers was responsible.
  • Summary: The guest found urine on the toilet seat, but upon further inspection, discovered a full puddle of urine on the floor beside the toilet. The guest chose to clean the mess silently rather than address the issue mid-workday to avoid confrontation. This incident confirmed the guest’s escalating stress levels regarding the movers’ behavior.
Stove Fire and Final Ejection
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(00:55:02)
  • Key Takeaway: A mover accidentally set inventory paperwork on fire atop a lit gas stove, leading the guest to immediately terminate the moving crew’s services.
  • Summary: While unpacking, paperwork was laid on the gas stove, which had pilot lights lit, causing the paper to catch fire. The husband extinguished the fire, which also resulted in melted plastic residue on the stove surface. When the older mover dismissed the incident, the overwhelmed guest called their boss, who advised telling the crew to leave immediately.
Forced Departure and Aftermath
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(00:56:28)
  • Key Takeaway: The movers reluctantly left after being told to go, dumping contents onto the floor and taking only the cardboard boxes, leaving the guest and husband to finish unpacking without furniture assembled.
  • Summary: Despite the movers’ confusion, the guest insisted they leave after removing all contents from the boxes onto the floor. This process took several more hours, concluding after dark with all belongings piled up. The guest’s husband, lacking a work permit, had to immediately begin assembling furniture and organizing items.
Damage Claims and Appreciation
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(00:57:26)
  • Key Takeaway: The guest successfully secured compensation for damaged items, like a destroyed wardrobe, by having the company charge the moving service directly.
  • Summary: The guest reported the wardrobe damage to their company, which then purchased a replacement and charged the cost back to the moving company. The guest works in retail but secured this unique job offer due to being meticulous and forward-thinking, qualities contrasted sharply with the movers’ incompetence. The guest expressed appreciation for their supportive employer in Silicon Valley.
Life in San Francisco
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(00:58:36)
  • Key Takeaway: Moving to San Francisco has been a challenging but amazing experience that has fostered a greater appreciation for Toronto.
  • Summary: The guest described San Francisco as beautiful and very different from Toronto, leading to an appreciation for aspects of Toronto previously taken for granted. The guest has made incredible friends there, including members of a podcast club that started as a health and wellness group but now heavily features discussions about the ‘Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard’ podcast.
Work Permit Struggles
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(00:59:22)
  • Key Takeaway: The process for obtaining a work permit for Canada is comparable to the US system, involving initial restrictions upon landing, as experienced by the host during a previous film job.
  • Summary: The host related the guest’s work permit stress to their own experience going to Canada for a movie, where they were restricted from leaving the airport until the permit was secured. The host noted the difficulty of the process, recalling a day where visa students were also arriving, creating chaos. The host humorously suggested simply claiming to be sightseeing to bypass the bureaucratic hurdles.