Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Military

October 24, 2025

Key Takeaways Copied to clipboard!

  • Military training exercises, even in non-combat scenarios, can lead to bizarre and dangerous accidents, such as falling off a cliff or encountering wildlife. 
  • The reality of military life often involves extreme physical discomfort and bizarre self-inflicted injuries stemming from boredom or attempts to cope with harsh conditions, as exemplified by a soldier getting his bare buttocks frozen to a generator exhaust vent. 
  • The experience of military service, even in non-combat situations, can result in profound, life-altering events, including being struck by a hit-and-run driver while walking with children, which impacts family life long after the incident. 
  • Submarine waste disposal involves dumping sanitary tanks, containing human waste and trash, directly into the ocean, often using high-pressure air expulsion. 
  • A catastrophic failure during a high-pressure tank blow resulted in hundreds of gallons of sewage erupting as a geyser inside the submarine's galley due to open internal drains. 
  • Despite the severity of the contamination, the mission continued, highlighting that creature comforts are often secondary to operational objectives on a submarine deployment. 

Segments

Intro and Military Story Setup
Copied to clipboard!
(00:00:14)
  • Key Takeaway: The Armchair Anonymous segment for this episode focuses specifically on listeners sharing ‘crazy military stories,’ potentially involving unauthorized evacuations.
  • Summary: The episode of Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard titled ‘Armchair Anonymous: Military’ features listener-submitted stories. The hosts, including Dax Shepard and Aaron Weakley, set the expectation for wild narratives from military service members. The theme explicitly suggests content involving unusual or unauthorized military actions.
Jake’s Slovenia Cliff Fall
Copied to clipboard!
(00:04:11)
  • Key Takeaway: A soldier on a NATO training exercise in Slovenia fell 15-20 feet into a ravine after losing his footing while leading his team in the dark, having taken over navigation when his leader’s night vision goggles broke.
  • Summary: Jake, stationed in Italy, was participating in a joint training exercise in Slovenia when he took over navigation using a Garmin GPS after the Alpha team leader’s night vision goggles failed. While leading his squad to rejoin the platoon after securing a mortar position, Jake stepped over a log but found no ground, plummeting off a cliff edge. He sustained a severe, bloody leg wound that exposed muscle and bone but did not break anything, and he later encountered a large bear while recovering from the fall.
Kimberly’s Hit-and-Run Trauma
Copied to clipboard!
(00:16:37)
  • Key Takeaway: A military spouse in Altus, Oklahoma, was struck by a car while walking with a stroller, causing the stroller to break apart and tumble into a field, leading to the driver fleeing the scene.
  • Summary: Kimberly recounted being hit from behind by a vehicle while walking on a dirt shoulder in Altus, Oklahoma, throwing her into the road while she pushed a stroller containing an 8-month-old and a 2-year-old. The driver fled, but the stroller disconnected from the bumper, tumbling end-over-end into a field, though the children remained buckled in. The driver was later found scrubbing stroller paint off her car at a car wash and was subsequently arrested.
Kimberly’s Children’s Military Paths
Copied to clipboard!
(00:26:40)
  • Key Takeaway: Kimberly’s daughter, who was two years old during the hit-and-run incident, has since graduated from Air Force pilot training at the same base where her father was stationed, and her younger daughter is training to be an Army combat nurse.
  • Summary: Despite the trauma of the accident, Kimberly’s family has deep ties to the military; her older daughter is now an Air Force pilot training at Altus AFB. The younger daughter is set to graduate college and become an Army combat nurse, creating a poignant full-circle moment for the family years after the incident.
Trev’s Generator Butt Injury
Copied to clipboard!
(00:30:55)
  • Key Takeaway: During freezing basic training in Missouri, Trev stuck his bare buttocks onto a hot generator exhaust vent for warmth and ripped off a significant portion of his gluteal flesh upon trying to stand up.
  • Summary: Trev, an 18-year-old in basic training at Fort Leonardwood, Missouri, sought warmth from a generator exhaust vent in sub-zero temperatures, eventually sitting directly on the main exhaust vent with his trousers down. When he attempted to stand up, the heat and moisture caused his skin to adhere to the metal, ripping off half of his buttock tissue when he pulled away. He managed to treat the severe wound with baby wipes and powder, avoiding infection and keeping the incident secret from his superiors.
Scott’s Submarine Waste Disposal
Copied to clipboard!
(00:45:15)
  • Key Takeaway: Nuclear submarine crews must empty their sanitary tanks containing human waste overboard into the ocean, where shrimp are noted as the loudest marine life heard through the hull.
  • Summary: Scott, a Navy submarine officer, explained that all trash and human waste must be emptied overboard into the ocean via holding tanks called sanitary tanks when they fill up during deployments lasting six or seven months. He noted that marine life, including shrimp, whales, and fish, can be heard through the hull when these tanks are discharged. This segment also briefly touched upon his deployment coinciding with the initial outbreak of COVID-19, which sickened the entire crew after they pulled into Japan.
Submarine Illness and Port Call
Copied to clipboard!
(00:46:38)
  • Key Takeaway: The submarine crew experienced widespread illness shortly after docking in Japan in December, preceding public awareness of the COVID-19 pandemic.
  • Summary: A pandemic was ongoing during the submarine deployment, leading to the entire crew becoming sick about a week after pulling into Japan in December. The guest chose this story because it was considered the grossest and involved a large-scale, unauthorized evacuation. The initial illness occurred before the crew had heard what COVID was.
Waste Disposal Systems Explained
Copied to clipboard!
(00:47:19)
  • Key Takeaway: Submarine waste (trash and human waste) is emptied overboard into the ocean via sanitary tanks, which are emptied by pumping or high-pressure air.
  • Summary: All trash and human waste are discharged overboard into the ocean from holding tanks called sanitary or sand tanks. The toilet system relies on gravity and two valves, lacking the pressure or grinder systems found on airplanes or homes. Strict rules govern what can be flushed because clogging the filters requires a crew member to manually retrieve the obstruction.
High-Pressure Tank Ejection Danger
Copied to clipboard!
(00:48:42)
  • Key Takeaway: Ejecting sanitary tanks using high-pressure air requires absolute isolation of internal drains to prevent sewage from being forced back up into the ship’s interior.
  • Summary: High-pressure air can be used to force waste out the hole valve, which is preferred over pumping for stealth reasons. If any internal drain valves are open, the pressurized waste will follow the path of least resistance back into the ship. This includes drains from showers, sinks, and the galley floor.
Galley Sewage Geyser Incident
Copied to clipboard!
(00:49:54)
  • Key Takeaway: An emergency announcement circuit failure during a high-pressure tank blow caused sewage to erupt violently through open sink and floor drains into the galley kitchen.
  • Summary: During a routine tank blow, the valves for a sink and a floor drain in the kitchen were left open, resulting in a geyser of sewage hitting the ceiling and coating every surface. The eruption lasted for a full minute until the high-pressure air could be isolated, leaving ankle-deep contaminated water in the galley area. Cleanup required extensive use of bleach and waders, and the smell persisted for weeks.
Mission Impact and Accountability
Copied to clipboard!
(00:52:00)
  • Key Takeaway: The sewage incident did not interrupt the deployment, and the responsible crew member faced disciplinary action via Captain’s Mast for the procedural violation.
  • Summary: The severity of the contamination was deemed insufficient to pull the submarine off station, forcing the crew to continue the mission while managing cleanup. The crew ate cold-cut sandwiches on paper plates for two days because the galley was unusable for cooking. The responsible individual received punishment through Captain’s Mast, the Navy’s system for handling minor offenses at sea, but was not ostracized by the crew.
Submarine Life Support Systems
Copied to clipboard!
(00:54:45)
  • Key Takeaway: Submarines generate oxygen via electrolysis of water, recycle the rest of the air, and scrub CO2 out before pumping it overboard.
  • Summary: Submarines are marvels of technology designed for long underwater endurance, not human comfort. Oxygen is created by breaking down water through electrolysis. The remaining air components, like nitrogen, are recycled, while carbon dioxide is scrubbed out and expelled.