Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Foreign Object in Butt II

January 30, 2026

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  • The segment features listener-submitted stories for the 'Foreign Object in Butt' prompt, including one where a vibrator was inserted into a bicycle handle grip before being lodged internally, and another involving a screwdriver found in a patient's abdomen. 
  • Medical professionals sharing stories on Armchair Anonymous: Foreign Object in Butt II reveal that rectal foreign body incidents are surprisingly common, with one ERPA reporting approximately three cases per year in a rural setting. 
  • Shame and fear of judgment are powerful motivators, as evidenced by a patient who sustained severe rectal injuries from a dog's Kong toy and subsequently required an ostomy rather than immediately disclosing the cause to medical staff or his wife. 

Segments

Armchair Anonymous Introduction
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(00:00:00)
  • Key Takeaway: The current Armchair Anonymous segment is part two of the ‘Foreign Object in Butt’ prompt, featuring stories that include blood, humiliation, and hilarity.
  • Summary: The episode segment is dedicated to listener submissions concerning foreign objects found in patients’ rectums. The hosts noted that this particular story includes a blood warning due to the nature of the incident. The overall theme balances humiliation and humor, typical of this recurring prompt.
Squarespace Advertisement Read
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(00:00:48)
  • Key Takeaway: Squarespace offers an all-in-one website platform featuring Blueprint AI for custom design assistance and integrated business tools like scheduling and payment processing.
  • Summary: Squarespace is promoted as a comprehensive website platform that simplifies professional online presence creation. Its Blueprint AI feature helps users build unique sites beyond standard templates. The platform also manages essential business functions such as scheduling and payment processing for service providers.
Quince Advertisement Read
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(00:01:55)
  • Key Takeaway: Quince provides premium quality goods, like Mongolian cashmere and Italian leather, by cutting out middlemen to offer luxury quality without the markup.
  • Summary: Quince sources premium materials directly from trusted factories, ensuring high craftsmanship and ethical production standards. Customers receive high-end quality apparel and home goods at accessible prices. Orders qualify for free shipping and a 365-day return policy.
First Caller’s Background and Setup
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(00:03:18)
  • Key Takeaway: The first caller, Kristen, is a nursing student who was assigned a challenging patient on her very first hospital clinical rotation.
  • Summary: Kristen shared personal details, including her husband’s recent birthday, before detailing her entry into nursing school after initially working for a trucking company. Her first hospital rotation was at a low-income facility where students were warned about the challenging patient population. She was immediately assigned a complex case involving an 83-year-old man.
Magic Bullet in Cecum Story
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(00:07:39)
  • Key Takeaway: An 83-year-old patient presented with a vibrator (Magic Bullet) combined with a bicycle handle grip lodged near his cecum, which he had inserted after his wife’s death.
  • Summary: Kristen’s patient history noted a ‘foreign object near the cecum,’ which she initially assumed was sexual in nature. The patient revealed he had combined a small vibrator with a rubber bicycle handle for girth, and the device remained lodged after the battery died. The patient was ultimately kind, and the experience served as a formative, albeit shocking, start to Kristen’s clinical experience.
Second Caller’s Surgical Background
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(00:16:35)
  • Key Takeaway: The second caller, Rachel, is a surgical technologist currently in PA school who works directly in the operating room during complex extractions.
  • Summary: Rachel works on the OR end, often receiving patients after emergency departments fail to remove foreign objects. She works closely with surgeons, anticipating necessary supplies for procedures. She noted that her job involves being ’elbows deep’ during these extractions.
Screwdriver in Abdomen Story
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(00:17:29)
  • Key Takeaway: A patient presented with an 8-to-9-inch metal screwdriver lodged in his abdomen, which was discovered during surgery for an unrelated inguinal hernia.
  • Summary: The surgeon initially suspected a testicular issue but found a bright white, metal object on the scan, later identified as a screwdriver in the abdomen, not the rectum. The object was likely inserted and forgotten, possibly due to meth use, and miraculously did not perforate the bowel. Rachel, the surgical tech, helped retrieve the screwdriver, which the surgeon returned to the patient.
Third Caller’s Pear Extraction
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(00:31:27)
  • Key Takeaway: A general surgery resident, Hannah, recounted a case where a patient had a soft, unripened pear stuck in his rectum, requiring significant effort to remove manually.
  • Summary: The patient, who had stabbed himself with a dog’s Kong toy previously, presented with a pear lodged past the sigmoid colon, causing severe abdominal pain. Multiple attempts using a Foley catheter and ring forceps failed because the soft fruit kept slipping. Hannah, despite being the smallest-handed person present, manually extracted the pear and a detached piece of fruit, which turned out to be a clementine.
Fourth Caller’s Kong Toy Trauma
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(00:38:16)
  • Key Takeaway: An ERPA named Debbie described a patient who severely injured his rectum attempting to remove a dog’s Kong toy, resulting in the need for an ostomy.
  • Summary: A man in his 50s, whose wife was out of town, attempted to remove a dog’s Kong toy using a knife after failing with tongs and a vacuum cleaner. The resulting stab wounds and trauma necessitated transport to a trauma center where he required an ostomy bag. Debbie noted the profound sadness that the patient’s fear of shame led to such severe, self-inflicted injury.
Closing Remarks and Final Thoughts
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(00:45:06)
  • Key Takeaway: The hosts concluded that rectal foreign body incidents are a recurring feature, not a rare occurrence, and expressed concern that discussing them might inadvertently encourage risky behavior.
  • Summary: The hosts reflected on the frequency of these stories, noting that they are common enough to be considered a regular feature of the segment. They voiced a slight concern about whether sharing these graphic details might inspire listeners to attempt similar acts. The segment ended with well wishes and a brief, impromptu theme song.