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- Amanda Peet and Dax Shepard discussed Peet's history as a 'serial monogamist' with relationships often lasting either a few weeks or many years, but rarely in between.
- Peet shared details about her upbringing, including attending a Quaker school in Manhattan before moving to a strict English school in London at age seven, which correlated with an upswing in her childhood anxiety.
- The conversation touched upon Peet's family history, revealing that one of her great-great-grandfathers designed Radio City Music Hall and another was the President of Manhattan Borough.
- The conversation explored the complex relationship with wealth, privilege, and the dissatisfaction that can accompany affluence, as reflected in Peet's work in *Your Friends & Neighbors*.
- Peet shared her recent shift in acting philosophy, moving away from goal-oriented performance driven by external validation toward a more present, curious, and experience-focused approach.
- Dax Shepard endured a chaotic series of events surrounding his colonoscopy preparation, including severe dietary restrictions, a messy plumbing incident, and navigating incorrect medical office locations, yet still managed to attend the event where Amanda Peet was performing.
- The conversation touched upon the medical distinction between epileptic seizures and psychogenic non-epileptic seizures (PNES), with Dax expressing relief upon receiving validation that his episodes were indeed epileptic.
- Dax and Amanda shared a 'sim' moment regarding mistaken identity, as Dax is frequently mistaken for Amanda Peet, a situation both found amusing given Amanda Peet's attractiveness.
Segments
Dating History & Ben Stiller
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(00:03:44)
- Key Takeaway: Amanda Peet confirmed dating Ben Stiller around 1997, a fact Dax Shepard discovered via internet research.
- Summary: Dax Shepard researched Amanda Peet’s dating history, noting her relationship with Ben Stiller around 1997. Peet also mentioned a short-lived relationship with Jessica Alba over 20 years ago, who later referenced the brief dating period on a film set. Peet characterized her dating pattern as being a ‘serial monogamist’ with relationships either lasting about 90 days or spanning multiple years.
Nicotine Use History
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(00:05:21)
- Key Takeaway: Both Dax Shepard and Amanda Peet were cigarette smokers for about a decade, with Peet favoring Parliament and Marlboro Lights.
- Summary: Both hosts admitted to being cigarette smokers for approximately ten years, consuming about a pack a day. Peet noted smoking Parliament and Marlboro Lights, which she associated with ‘cool girl’ brands, contrasting them with ’too basic’ options. Peet traced her smoking habit back to a joke during a college study group.
Daughter’s Existential Question
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(00:08:11)
- Key Takeaway: Peet recounted her daughter asking her and her husband if they missed ‘being young and attractive’ while they were indisposed.
- Summary: Peet shared an anecdote where her daughter, around 16 or 17, asked her parents if they missed being young and attractive. This prompted a discussion about parental conflict, where Peet recalled arguing with her mother over attire as a teenager. Peet suggested her own stubbornness in those arguments might have stemmed from undiagnosed ADD.
ADHD and Astrology Comparison
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(00:09:44)
- Key Takeaway: The hosts compared the current cultural focus on self-identifying with ADHD to the way people discuss astrology, noting the potential for over-identification.
- Summary: Observing her dynamic with Sarah Paulson, Peet noted they both exhibit traits suggesting ADHD, which Paulson frequently discusses. Peet admitted to feeling anxious about self-identifying with ADHD, comparing the trend to people who rigidly adhere to astrology. Peet revealed she practices astrology, including performing rituals for the new moon, which Dax Shepard found indicative of belief.
Peet’s Family History in NYC
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(00:16:55)
- Key Takeaway: Amanda Peet’s family has deep roots in New York City history, including a great-great-grandfather who designed Radio City Music Hall.
- Summary: Peet’s family history includes two prominent New York ancestors: Sam Levy, the Manhattan Borough President, and Roxy Rothafell, who designed Radio City Music Hall and built movie palaces like The Roxy Theater. Rothafell reportedly came from Prussia and died broke despite his accomplishments. Peet’s mother’s side of the family were staunch liberals, while her father’s mother was a trailblazing advertising executive in the 1950s.
Childhood Anxiety and London Move
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(00:25:32)
- Key Takeaway: Moving to London at age seven coincided with an upswing in Peet’s anxiety, linked to the existential awareness that develops around that age.
- Summary: Peet’s parents moved the family to London for her father’s corporate law career when she was seven, sending her to a strict English school instead of the American school. She recalls being an anxious child during this time, correlating it with the age when children begin grappling with existential questions like ‘what happens when you die.’ The environment in London was tense due to the IRA troubles, including witnessing a potential bomb threat.
Psychoanalysis at Age 13
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(00:33:56)
- Key Takeaway: Amanda Peet began psychoanalysis at age 13 after a therapist suggested she was a ‘very good candidate’ for the treatment.
- Summary: Peet began psychoanalysis at 13 because her mother frequently recommended therapy for any problem. The analyst suggested continuing the work into college, which Peet viewed as controlling and reminiscent of Woody Allen. Peet noted that her mother was simultaneously in psychoanalytic training, creating a complicated dynamic between them.
Intellectualism vs. Looks
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(00:37:28)
- Key Takeaway: Peet argued against intellectual elitism, asserting that seeking attention via looks is morally equivalent to seeking attention via intelligence, as both are inherent gifts being leveraged.
- Summary: Peet discussed feeling shame about pursuing acting because it was perceived as frivolous compared to her intellectual parents’ careers. She recounted an argument with Adam Grant where she contended that exploiting one’s gifted looks is no different than exploiting gifted intelligence for approval. Peet believes everyone seeks validation using the assets they were given, whether intellectual or physical.
Quaker School Experience
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(00:50:06)
- Key Takeaway: Peet’s Quaker school emphasized community and consensus, contrasting sharply with modern parenting trends that prioritize safety over independence.
- Summary: Peet is grateful for her time at Friends Seminary, noting its Quaker practices like silent meetings for meditation and a policy of consensus over voting. She recalled the school common room being used nightly by homeless people, a practice she believes would be forbidden by today’s ‘free-range’ skeptical parents. Peet majored in American History in college primarily as the easiest path to graduation before committing to acting studies with Uta Hagen.
Commercial Acting Success
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(00:51:39)
- Key Takeaway: Amanda Peet was an extremely successful commercial actor, sometimes having four or five national spots running concurrently.
- Summary: Peet had a significant run of commercial acting jobs, including a Skittles spot. Her parents were reportedly happy about the commercials because they provided financial stability, unlike her pursuit of theater. Dax Shepard suggested Peet might be the most successful commercial actor he had ever met.
Parental Disapproval of Career
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(00:52:09)
- Key Takeaway: Peet’s parents initially resisted her plan to major in theater in college, prioritizing safety and livelihood over artistic pursuits.
- Summary: Peet’s parents were resistant to her majoring in theater in college, though they were supportive of her doing commercials. They never watched her film Jack and Jill due to a genuine lack of interest, which Peet found difficult despite years of psychoanalysis. Dax Shepard argued that parents should support their children’s chosen work, regardless of personal taste.
Cultural Snobbery in Arts
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(00:56:00)
- Key Takeaway: There is a problematic cultural hierarchy that deems certain forms of performance, like theater, inherently superior to others, like television.
- Summary: Dax Shepard expressed frustration with the snobbery surrounding the hierarchy of culture, arguing that pretending is pretending, whether on stage or screen. He noted that people on popular, widely-liked shows often feel humiliated by those who value niche, ‘high-brow’ art forms more. Tastes are subjective and do not equate to one person’s opinion being inherently more valuable than another’s.
Sister’s Purist Stance
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(00:57:01)
- Key Takeaway: Peet’s sister exhibits extreme purism, exemplified by her refusal to accept preferential treatment like an upgrade to first class.
- Summary: Peet shared an anecdote about her sister, a doctor, reacting with shock and refusal when upgraded to first class, viewing it as preferential treatment. This sister prefers Sweden and wants to move to Denmark, aligning with a highly principled, anti-establishment viewpoint. This contrasts sharply with Peet’s own acceptance of certain luxuries.
Revisiting Older Films with Kids
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(00:58:47)
- Key Takeaway: Watching older films with children illuminates problematic tropes regarding race and gender that were previously overlooked.
- Summary: Peet noted that showing her children movies like Something’s Gotta Give forces conversations about outdated tropes, such as the large age gap between the leads. Dax Shepard pointed out that many 80s and 90s films contain scenes involving sexual assault or drugging that are easily missed by adult viewers but become apparent when viewed through a modern lens.
Age Gaps in Film Relationships
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(01:01:06)
- Key Takeaway: The prevalence of large age gaps between male leads and female co-stars in older films is a staggering, often unexamined, cultural norm.
- Summary: Dax Shepard’s wife frequently points out the 20-year age gaps between male stars and their wives in movies from the 80s and 90s. Shepard argued against the idea that all age-gap relationships are intrinsically predatory, especially when the film itself comments on the dynamic, as Something’s Gotta Give does. He expressed annoyance at the current cultural phase where nuance is ignored in favor of immediate judgment.
Fantasy Life and Wealth Themes
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(01:02:32)
- Key Takeaway: Peet’s film Fantasy Life explores a mother’s emotional affair with a younger manny, while Your Friends & Neighbors tackles complicated relationships with wealth.
- Summary: Dax Shepard praised Fantasy Life for depicting a mother finding appreciation and desire with a younger manny, a theme he found exciting. Peet confirmed that her character in Fantasy Life is grappling with privilege and feeling undeserving of having issues because she comes from wealth. Both films explore dissatisfaction, even when external circumstances appear ideal.
Experiential vs. Narrative Self
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(01:09:37)
- Key Takeaway: Kahneman’s concept distinguishing the ’experiential self’ (living in the moment) from the ’narrative self’ (telling the story later) is a profound framework for understanding happiness.
- Summary: Dax Shepard referenced Daniel Kahneman’s concept of the experiential self versus the narrative self when discussing wealth and happiness. He noted that wealth plateaus in terms of happiness benefits around $500,000 annually, and great wealth can diminish it. Virtue signaling, like refusing an expensive car because it’s too flashy, is still driven by the narrative self trying to portray a certain identity.
Artistry vs. Status in Luxury Goods
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(01:11:27)
- Key Takeaway: The value of luxury items like expensive cars or Hermès bags often lies in the status they confer rather than their functional performance or material cost.
- Summary: The discussion contrasted cars valued for performance (speed, handling) versus those valued for status (expensive, attention-seeking colors). Peet argued that for certain luxury items, the cost far exceeds the materials, being built on a scarcity model that signals wealth. Ultimately, the feeling and identity associated with owning the item drive the purchase more than objective quality.
Actor Compensation and Fairness
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(01:13:40)
- Key Takeaway: Actors who complain about being overcharged by contractors often fail to acknowledge their own massive compensation relative to essential workers like pediatric oncologists.
- Summary: Dax Shepard observed that actors earning hundreds of thousands per episode can become triggered when they feel overcharged by service providers. This reaction stems from a fear of being seen as a ‘Patsy’ rather than an acknowledgment of their overpayment compared to essential professions. Shepard concluded that pediatric oncologists, school teachers, and nurses should earn the most money.
New Gear in Acting
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(01:25:50)
- Key Takeaway: Peet has found a ’new gear’ in acting by shedding the need for external validation and focusing on curiosity and the collaborative group experience.
- Summary: Peet feels she is simply better at acting now because she stopped trying to make scenes great solely to secure future work. Her shift involves embracing curiosity about her crew and castmates, recognizing acting as a team sport rather than an egocentric pursuit. This new perspective allows her to live in the experience rather than constantly trying to get somewhere.
Mistaken Identity Incidents
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(01:20:27)
- Key Takeaway: Being mistaken for Lake Bell caused Peet significant distress because it confirmed her deepest fear of being replaceable and not unique.
- Summary: Shortly after a breakup with David, Peet was repeatedly mistaken for Lake Bell, which was deeply unsettling. This experience tapped into the fear that one is not indispensable or unique, especially when seeing someone else embodying a similar public image. Peet noted that she sometimes goes along with being mistaken for others to avoid confrontation.
Parenting and Social Media Control
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(01:28:51)
- Key Takeaway: Dax Shepard is actively trying to delay his children’s access to social media to prevent them from constantly documenting moments rather than experiencing them.
- Summary: Shepard worries that his children’s generation is constantly jumping out of the moment to photograph or document experiences, which he views negatively. He maintains strict controls, keeping them off social media until at least age sixteen. He accepts, through an AA principle, that he cannot change the overall tide of modern childhood but can control his immediate environment.
Hospital Triage and Parental Instinct
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(01:30:51)
- Key Takeaway: While it is natural for parents to prioritize their own child’s well-being, Peet’s sister demonstrated an unusual lack of self-interest when her daughter needed emergency care.
- Summary: Peet recounted her daughter’s near-burst appendix, where she felt compelled to push for immediate attention at the hospital. In contrast, Peet’s sister later stated that the triage system was likely correct, noting that other children in the waiting room might have had more critical conditions like leukemia. Dax Shepard argued that prioritizing one’s own offspring is an evolved, natural instinct, and feeling that urge is not morally repugnant.
Post-Awards Show Observations
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(01:39:36)
- Key Takeaway: Noah Wyle’s in-person demeanor at the awards show exceeded his already high perceived level of integrity and attractiveness.
- Summary: Dax Shepard and Peet discussed the recent acting awards show where Kristen hosted. Shepard was excited to see Michael B. Jordan backstage after his win. Peet noted that Noah Wyle, whom she considers the ‘perfect man,’ was even more attractive in person than she expected, leading to a moment of feeling ‘deceived’ by how good he looked.
Colonoscopy Prep Chaos
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(01:42:02)
- Key Takeaway: Dax Shepard successfully navigated a full day of colonoscopy prep, including fasting and consuming the preparation drink, while still attending an event.
- Summary: The colonoscopy prep involved fasting the entire day before the procedure, with the last meal on Saturday at (8:30) PM. The preparation drink initiated intense evacuations about an hour after consumption. Dax managed to attend the event because the prescribed dose time allowed him to leave the house later, and Kristen had a port-a-potty conveniently located near her dressing room.
Dax’s Successful Colonoscopy
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(01:53:38)
- Key Takeaway: Dax’s colonoscopy and endoscopy were successful, resulting in a recommendation to wait six to seven years for the next screening.
- Summary: The doctor confirmed Dax’s colonoscopy was great, and the endoscopy also looked ‘golden.’ The doctor suggested waiting five to seven years for the next screening, which Dax compromised to six years. The doctor specifically noted that Dax performed an excellent prep, evidenced by the output looking like ‘iced tea’ at the end.
Post-Procedure Meal Surprise
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(01:54:32)
- Key Takeaway: Kristen surprised a starving Dax after his procedure with a hot pastrami sandwich on gluten-free sourdough bread from Langer’s.
- Summary: After the procedure, Dax was extremely hungry, having not eaten for 22 hours prior to the event, and then fasting again for the second dose of prep. A nurse mentioned that many patients request In-N-Out or pastrami for their first meal. Kristen provided Dax with hot pastrami on gluten-free sourdough bread from Langer’s, possibly after a suggestion from the nurse.
Track Day and Shoulder Checkup
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(01:56:01)
- Key Takeaway: Dax reported a successful, issue-free day at the track following his colonoscopy, despite having a scheduled follow-up with his shoulder doctor.
- Summary: Dax had four sessions at the track with no issues, which relieved his superstitious nerves about potential injury before his upcoming shoulder doctor appointment. He is scheduled to see the doctor to discuss cutting nerves on top of the metal in his shoulder that cause him discomfort.
Mistaken Identity and Parenthood Anniversary
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(01:57:39)
- Key Takeaway: Dax ran into Joy Brian, his former ‘Parenthood’ co-star, shortly after learning the show’s 16th anniversary, leading to a humorous interaction regarding line etiquette at a restaurant.
- Summary: Dax ran into Joy Brian, his television wife, at the restaurant Dunsmore in Eagle Rock, where they were both trying to secure a walk-in spot. Jess initially directed Joy to the wrong line, causing tension until Dax arrived and Joy recognized him. Dax also noted seeing an Instagram post marking the 16th anniversary of ‘Parenthood’ earlier that day.
PNES Statistics and Stigma
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(02:03:23)
- Key Takeaway: Psychogenic non-epileptic seizures (PNES) account for 5% to 40% of cases in specialized epilepsy monitoring units, highlighting a significant overlap with true epilepsy diagnoses.
- Summary: PNES cases account for roughly 5 to 10% of general outpatient neurology clinic cases, but rise to 20 to 40% in specialized epilepsy monitoring units. Dax expressed a personal desire for a clear diagnosis (epilepsy) to avoid the stigma associated with potentially self-inflicted conditions like PNES. The discussion concluded that compassion should be equal regardless of whether a condition is perceived as self-inflicted or not.