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[00:00:01.120 --> 00:00:02.160] Race the runners!
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[00:00:33.600 --> 00:00:37.360] ACAST powers the world's best podcasts.
[00:00:37.360 --> 00:00:39.680] Here's a show that we recommend.
[00:00:41.600 --> 00:00:49.520] Look, love it or hate it, the advertising and marketing industry is the ultimate broker of power and influence in the world today.
[00:00:49.840 --> 00:00:52.480] And now you can look behind the curtain.
[00:00:52.480 --> 00:00:58.560] I'm Ryan Joe, editor-in-chief of AdWeek and host of our new weekly podcast, AdSpeak.
[00:00:58.880 --> 00:01:09.760] AdSpeak brings stories from our top reporters to life and delves into the people and companies that shape the products we buy, the entertainment we enjoy, and how we view the world.
[00:01:10.080 --> 00:01:16.480] We're bringing the drama of the newsroom directly to you and revealing the untold stories behind the headline.
[00:01:16.480 --> 00:01:20.080] AdSpeak by AdWeek is your new essential weekly podcast.
[00:01:20.080 --> 00:01:25.840] Subscribe and follow on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.
[00:01:27.440 --> 00:01:33.200] ACAST helps creators launch, grow, and monetize their podcasts everywhere.
[00:01:33.200 --> 00:01:35.200] Acast.com.
[00:01:37.440 --> 00:01:40.160] Shame thrives in silence.
[00:01:40.160 --> 00:01:41.760] At least it does for me.
[00:01:41.760 --> 00:01:43.840] And I'm over it.
[00:01:44.160 --> 00:01:52.880] You're listening to Side Hustle Pro, the podcast that teaches you to build and grow your side hustle from passion project to profitable business.
[00:01:52.880 --> 00:01:55.840] And I'm your host, Nikayla Matthews Ocome.
[00:01:55.840 --> 00:01:57.480] So let's get started.
[00:01:59.720 --> 00:02:00.520] Hey, friends.
[00:01:57.360 --> 00:02:02.680] Hey, welcome, welcome back to the show.
[00:02:02.840 --> 00:02:11.080] It's Nikayla here, back to kick off this fall season with a solo episode.
[00:02:11.080 --> 00:02:14.200] Now, this isn't just any solo episode.
[00:02:14.200 --> 00:02:19.560] This is the beginning of what I'm calling the expansion era.
[00:02:19.560 --> 00:02:20.520] Why?
[00:02:20.520 --> 00:02:23.160] You'll hear more about it in a second.
[00:02:23.160 --> 00:02:27.960] So, first of all, I have to admit, I am a little bit nervous, y'all.
[00:02:28.280 --> 00:02:34.440] I feel that I have never been this vulnerable and open on this show before.
[00:02:34.760 --> 00:02:59.000] And as I was outlining today's episode, to be honest, I teared up more than once because obviously I was reliving some stuff and I'm just honestly just sitting back and looking at how much I've been shouldering the last few years and how much not talking about it has probably been to my detriment.
[00:02:59.000 --> 00:03:04.600] And so, this expansion era is about expanding in more than one way.
[00:03:04.600 --> 00:03:32.200] It's about opening myself up to the Nikayla I know I can be and stepping into a new era of myself in not only business-wise, but personally and also hopefully by sharing my story, being able to open up community for other women and other entrepreneurs and other mothers and just community in hearing that you are not alone.
[00:03:32.200 --> 00:03:35.240] I know how impactful that's been for my journey.
[00:03:35.240 --> 00:03:37.400] So, here we go.
[00:03:37.720 --> 00:03:38.840] So, let's take it back.
[00:03:38.840 --> 00:03:39.560] All right.
[00:03:39.560 --> 00:03:48.320] The whole premise of this episode is how I lost my mojo and what I'm doing to get it back.
[00:03:48.320 --> 00:03:53.440] So, first of all, let me say today I'm going to be real about what it all looks like, how I'm getting back to me.
[00:03:53.440 --> 00:03:55.520] This isn't a highlight reel at all.
[00:03:55.520 --> 00:04:01.200] This is me stripped down, telling the truth about the last few years and a little bit of backstory.
[00:04:01.200 --> 00:04:08.160] So, when I launched my podcast back in 2016, I had no idea what it would grow into.
[00:04:08.480 --> 00:04:17.840] I started it out, it picked up because there was a need for these stories of black women entrepreneurs who were side hustlers, turned full-time entrepreneurs.
[00:04:17.840 --> 00:04:21.920] I was craving it, other people were craving it, so it took off.
[00:04:21.920 --> 00:04:26.960] I leaned into it, I went hard on marketing, I went hard on promotion.
[00:04:26.960 --> 00:04:31.360] And by 2017, I was able to quit my job to do it full-time.
[00:04:31.360 --> 00:04:34.880] By 2019, I was having one of my best years yet.
[00:04:34.880 --> 00:04:51.120] The show was thriving, sponsorships were coming in, I was getting approached with deals and sponsorships, I was being approached to be on the Today Show, I was coaching women on how to grow their own podcast, and I felt like I was finally walking in my purpose.
[00:04:51.120 --> 00:04:59.520] But then 2020 came, I had my first baby, and right after that, the pandemic hit.
[00:04:59.520 --> 00:05:09.840] So, suddenly, there was a brand new mom stuck at home with my baby boy Kingston with no real plan for how life or business was going to look.
[00:05:09.840 --> 00:05:14.240] It was me and Moyo figuring it out alone at that point.
[00:05:14.240 --> 00:05:19.840] So, when I launched Side Hustle Pro, I we were living in Arlington, Virginia.
[00:05:19.840 --> 00:05:29.040] We had moved to Baltimore, Maryland, at the top of 2020 to be a little closer to our family in New York, but still, you know, enjoy the space of the DMV.
[00:05:29.040 --> 00:05:32.040] And I really enjoyed our time in Baltimore, but I digress.
[00:05:32.920 --> 00:05:42.040] So I didn't really get it until I was in it that, whoa, I did not plan what life would look like now.
[00:05:42.040 --> 00:05:44.600] Let me be honest, I was stressed.
[00:05:44.600 --> 00:05:46.200] I was eating to cope.
[00:05:46.200 --> 00:05:49.240] I was inside all day just trying to figure it out.
[00:05:49.240 --> 00:05:56.920] All the while, while this scary stuff is happening outside, people are putting things in our head about what we can and can't do.
[00:05:56.920 --> 00:05:59.720] People are judging what we do and what we don't do.
[00:05:59.720 --> 00:06:08.680] I'm getting all these unsolicited opinions and outside advice on top of just the new mom fatigue and stress and worry and emotions.
[00:06:09.080 --> 00:06:14.440] Let's talk about those hormones and the emotional dips that come from not getting sleep, right?
[00:06:14.760 --> 00:06:18.920] And before I knew it, I didn't even recognize myself anymore.
[00:06:18.920 --> 00:06:21.960] On paper, though, things still looked good.
[00:06:21.960 --> 00:06:23.400] Income was strong.
[00:06:23.400 --> 00:06:25.000] Downloads were up.
[00:06:25.000 --> 00:06:27.640] Everything looked like it was working.
[00:06:27.640 --> 00:06:31.640] But inside, I was unraveling, y'all.
[00:06:31.640 --> 00:06:35.000] So fast forward, 2020 was inside for us.
[00:06:35.000 --> 00:06:38.120] 2021, we started dipping our toe back outside.
[00:06:38.120 --> 00:06:45.160] I went to my best friend's Bachelorette, had a blast, you know, her wedding, and things started to come together a little bit.
[00:06:45.160 --> 00:06:51.240] We started to go to birthday parties and things to get Kingston more exposure to other kids and things like that.
[00:06:51.240 --> 00:06:55.880] And then we went home to New York to visit our parents for a few times.
[00:06:55.880 --> 00:07:02.520] I was walking around in New York and I just got this feeling like, man, I really wish we could move back here.
[00:07:02.760 --> 00:07:10.440] At that moment, I had a day, a solo day in New York, and I remember distinctly feeling like I belong here.
[00:07:10.440 --> 00:07:11.560] I grew up in the Bronx.
[00:07:11.560 --> 00:07:14.200] I'm from New York, you know, born in Jamaica, grew up in the Bronx.
[00:07:14.200 --> 00:07:16.080] So, New York is really home for me.
[00:07:14.760 --> 00:07:20.000] And I had that moment, but then I was like, I don't know, I don't see that happening, blah, blah, blah.
[00:07:20.560 --> 00:07:25.840] But in 2022, we were able to move back to New York, and that was a turning point.
[00:07:25.840 --> 00:07:27.840] It felt like coming home again.
[00:07:27.840 --> 00:07:31.840] It felt like it unlocked a place in me that had been bottled up.
[00:07:31.840 --> 00:07:38.080] Really, it was a way of helping me through the loneliness I felt in Baltimore.
[00:07:38.080 --> 00:07:46.000] I enjoyed so many aspects of Baltimore: the food, the neighborhood we were in, being able to walk to the park and all that stuff.
[00:07:46.000 --> 00:07:50.080] But I was extremely lonely.
[00:07:50.080 --> 00:07:58.560] So, being able to see my parents regularly, reconnecting with my friends, having my son start daycare/slash/preschool, it gave me energy.
[00:07:58.560 --> 00:08:02.320] I didn't realize, well, I did realize it gave me energy.
[00:08:02.320 --> 00:08:07.040] I realized I was missing for the first time in a long time.
[00:08:07.040 --> 00:08:09.440] I started to feel like me again.
[00:08:09.760 --> 00:08:18.640] And then by the end of that year, 2022, we were feeling good enough to say, Let's run it back, let's have another baby.
[00:08:18.640 --> 00:08:20.960] Clown face, no, I'm joking, I'm joking.
[00:08:20.960 --> 00:08:28.640] But you know, I started doing my walking, I was getting the weight off and just walking and feeling good about myself, my body, my mental health.
[00:08:28.640 --> 00:08:35.520] And I always enjoyed having siblings, so I always dreamed and hoped that I could have a sibling for Kingston.
[00:08:35.520 --> 00:08:38.640] So, we decided to try again, and it was not easy.
[00:08:38.640 --> 00:08:43.360] You know, I did suffer a loss right away in between, which again, I haven't spoken about.
[00:08:43.360 --> 00:08:45.760] It was like one day I was pregnant, one day I wasn't.
[00:08:45.760 --> 00:08:50.880] And I don't know if I've processed that fully, but it just happened so quick.
[00:08:50.880 --> 00:08:54.320] But then, by the next month, I was pregnant again, thank God in Jesus' name.
[00:08:54.320 --> 00:09:00.200] And I saw that test that came in loud and clear, and that it was my daughter, Kemi.
[00:09:00.200 --> 00:09:04.600] And that's really how she's been since day one-from the pregnancy test to birth.
[00:08:59.840 --> 00:09:06.040] Like, I'm here.
[00:09:06.360 --> 00:09:07.720] I'm here.
[00:09:07.720 --> 00:09:08.680] I'm ready.
[00:09:08.680 --> 00:09:11.720] She is a bold, vivacious Leo.
[00:09:11.880 --> 00:09:13.400] We love her so much.
[00:09:13.720 --> 00:09:21.960] And what I didn't know then was that the year she was born, 2023, would be the year everything shifted.
[00:09:21.960 --> 00:09:22.440] Okay.
[00:09:23.000 --> 00:09:25.800] The podcast landscape changed.
[00:09:25.800 --> 00:09:28.520] I switched podcast networks.
[00:09:28.520 --> 00:09:33.320] Downloads dropped and sponsorships became inconsistent.
[00:09:33.320 --> 00:09:37.640] And my revenue, whoo, child, it became inconsistent too.
[00:09:37.640 --> 00:09:42.520] And I know I've talked about this before, but again, I'm still processing these changes.
[00:09:42.520 --> 00:09:44.520] I'm still working through these changes.
[00:09:44.520 --> 00:09:50.840] So come along with me this year on the journey of where I am now with it and where I'm going with it.
[00:09:50.840 --> 00:09:56.200] So around that period, that's when I started to lose my mojo for real.
[00:09:56.200 --> 00:10:07.800] And it really coincided with postpartum depression, which, again, that thing sneaks up on you because for me, I didn't have like feelings of self-harm or anything like that.
[00:10:07.800 --> 00:10:18.920] But I did how it manifested for me was rage, rage, anger, hate everybody and everything compiled with lack of sleep.
[00:10:18.920 --> 00:10:21.320] Ooh, it was just not good.
[00:10:21.320 --> 00:10:25.160] And then I was tying my worth to my bank balance.
[00:10:25.160 --> 00:10:30.920] So as things started going and dwindling down, down, down, you can imagine how I felt, right?
[00:10:30.920 --> 00:10:34.200] I also started looking in the mirror and not liking what I saw.
[00:10:34.200 --> 00:10:51.520] Again, my daughter was born in the summer of 2023, but by the winter of 2024, I'm in the trenches of lack of sleep, the winter blues of everything being dark all the time, and emotional eating.
[00:10:51.520 --> 00:10:57.680] Again, just eating to cope, eating to breastfeed, eating to survive as a new mom of a toddler and an infant.
[00:10:57.680 --> 00:11:01.600] And so I'm started looking in the mirror and not liking what I saw.
[00:11:01.600 --> 00:11:05.680] And the more I dislike what I saw, the less I wanted to show up.
[00:11:05.680 --> 00:11:07.200] I didn't want to show up on camera.
[00:11:07.200 --> 00:11:08.720] I didn't want to show up in my business.
[00:11:08.720 --> 00:11:12.000] I barely wanted to record my podcast because it was video now.
[00:11:12.000 --> 00:11:15.200] I went to video with this show in 2021.
[00:11:15.200 --> 00:11:21.440] And whether it was on camera or even in front of the microphone, I just wasn't emotionally in it.
[00:11:21.440 --> 00:11:26.560] And of course, for me, when I don't show up, things only get worse financially.
[00:11:26.560 --> 00:11:31.520] Content right now is a huge part of my business.
[00:11:31.520 --> 00:11:36.400] And then here I was hiding, like, how's that gonna work?
[00:11:36.400 --> 00:11:37.040] Okay.
[00:11:37.760 --> 00:11:44.720] So I started to feel like what I would call flailing.
[00:11:44.720 --> 00:12:04.000] And when I say I was flailing, I mean it looked for me like just overwhelmed by every single aspect of life from when it was time to make a transition with my kids, trying to get my daughter off the bottle only for her to refuse to eat the food, right?
[00:12:04.000 --> 00:12:10.720] Or try new foods, trying everything from like spoon feeding to what do they call it?
[00:12:10.720 --> 00:12:13.600] When you try to give them whole foods, table foods, all of that.
[00:12:13.600 --> 00:12:17.240] It looked like sleepless nights trying to get both kids on a schedule.
[00:12:17.240 --> 00:12:21.280] My son regressing, finishing up potty training with him.
[00:12:21.280 --> 00:12:25.920] It looked like researching eczema treatments, like my daughter has it really severe.
[00:12:25.920 --> 00:12:38.280] And it also looked like trying to manage all that while also managing speech therapy and occupational therapy for my son and figuring out the right school setting for him because he is neurodiverse.
[00:12:38.280 --> 00:12:45.640] So there were just, it felt like layer after layer of complexity kept being added to my life.
[00:12:45.640 --> 00:12:47.400] And I wasn't prepared for that.
[00:12:47.400 --> 00:12:58.040] Like when you set out to have children, you know that you're going to be given a gift and a blessing, but you don't truly understand that you're also going to be given an assignment.
[00:12:58.040 --> 00:13:12.680] So a part of my assignment in life is to guide these beautiful vessels and beings through this earthly realm and to help them just have the most amazing experience ever, to help them have all the resources.
[00:13:12.680 --> 00:13:18.120] And that means I just, I put so much pressure on myself, y'all, to figure it out.
[00:13:18.120 --> 00:13:19.560] Like, what's the best this?
[00:13:19.560 --> 00:13:20.840] What's the best that?
[00:13:20.840 --> 00:13:22.200] How do I get him to do this?
[00:13:22.200 --> 00:13:25.800] How do I, and therein lies part of the issue, right?
[00:13:26.120 --> 00:13:31.240] I am thinking that I have more control than I actually do.
[00:13:31.240 --> 00:13:39.400] And it's not that I don't have control, but I think that society puts a lot of pressure on moms in a way that they don't on dads.
[00:13:39.400 --> 00:13:46.040] So for example, if your child is still on the bottle, they're looking at you like, why can't this mom figure it out?
[00:13:46.040 --> 00:13:56.120] Or if your kid doesn't have a haircut because he doesn't like the barber because he has neurosensitivities, they're looking at you like, why isn't your kid groomed this way or that way?
[00:13:56.120 --> 00:13:58.600] And at least that's how it has felt.
[00:13:58.600 --> 00:14:02.520] And no, you shouldn't care what society thinks.
[00:14:02.520 --> 00:14:05.160] However, that's an added thing that's on my plate.
[00:14:05.160 --> 00:14:09.560] Now it's my role to move that off my plate and not care about it.
[00:14:09.560 --> 00:14:13.080] But why was it put on my plate anyway to begin with, right?
[00:14:13.080 --> 00:14:15.520] So those are things that I've had to deal with.
[00:14:14.920 --> 00:14:19.360] Parenting has felt like a constant series of daunting transitions.
[00:14:19.680 --> 00:14:22.960] Just as soon as you master one, another one pops up.
[00:14:22.960 --> 00:14:25.920] And it always felt like it was on me to figure it all out.
[00:14:25.920 --> 00:14:28.480] Like, of course, Moyo is incredible.
[00:14:28.480 --> 00:14:30.400] Moyo is such a good dad.
[00:14:30.400 --> 00:14:36.400] Like, my friends, they text me like he's a good man, Savannah, if I dare complain about anything.
[00:14:36.720 --> 00:14:38.480] And I know he is.
[00:14:38.480 --> 00:14:40.320] And we are in this together.
[00:14:40.320 --> 00:14:45.360] I thank God I have a partner and a parenting partner and a life partner, right?
[00:14:45.360 --> 00:14:46.880] And it's still hard.
[00:14:46.880 --> 00:14:55.520] And because of that pressure that I talked about just a few minutes ago, about the pressure I feel as a mom societally, that's different from a dad.
[00:14:55.520 --> 00:14:57.680] It always comes back to this feeling.
[00:14:57.680 --> 00:15:04.240] It's a false feeling, and that's something I'm working through in therapy, but it is a feeling like I have to figure this out.
[00:15:04.240 --> 00:15:08.000] I put this pressure on myself to figure out so much on my own.
[00:15:08.000 --> 00:15:16.640] And this is a season where I have to let that go through with the help of God, therapy, and just consistently talking through this.
[00:15:16.640 --> 00:15:18.320] I've got to let this go.
[00:15:18.320 --> 00:15:22.960] So with all that going on, my business took a back seat.
[00:15:22.960 --> 00:15:24.800] Understandably so, right?
[00:15:24.800 --> 00:15:26.480] Not surprising.
[00:15:26.480 --> 00:15:30.960] I poured into my kids because they are my number one priority.
[00:15:30.960 --> 00:15:32.640] I was mothering, okay?
[00:15:32.960 --> 00:15:36.400] But inside, I felt like I was unraveling more and more.
[00:15:36.400 --> 00:15:37.600] I was tired.
[00:15:37.600 --> 00:15:39.600] I was still emotional eating.
[00:15:39.600 --> 00:15:40.880] I was stressed.
[00:15:40.880 --> 00:15:42.080] I wasn't creating.
[00:15:42.080 --> 00:15:45.040] I was really in a creative rut and block.
[00:15:45.360 --> 00:15:49.840] And the less I created, the more I felt behind, the more I felt stressed.
[00:15:49.840 --> 00:15:53.840] I was just caught in this loop of discouragement, really.
[00:15:54.160 --> 00:16:01.080] And then dealing with the postpartum depression, that's when I really started to question everything: myself, my work, my purpose.
[00:16:01.080 --> 00:16:07.400] There were moments where I seriously thought maybe I should just quit the podcast, quit the business, and just stop.
[00:16:07.400 --> 00:16:10.680] Maybe I should walk away from podcasting altogether.
[00:16:10.680 --> 00:16:13.800] Maybe I should walk away from everything I've built.
[00:16:13.800 --> 00:16:21.720] And maybe it's time to go back to corporate America because if this is stressing me out this much, if money is stressing me out, why am I doing this?
[00:16:21.720 --> 00:16:27.800] And it's tough because, on the one hand, I felt like, man, did I really do all this just to stop?
[00:16:27.800 --> 00:16:29.880] Because I don't feel like I can do both, right?
[00:16:29.880 --> 00:16:38.600] I don't feel like I can run a business, go back to work full-time, take care of my two kids, one of whom has special needs, right?
[00:16:38.600 --> 00:16:42.440] Be a great wife, do what I need to for my self-care and health.
[00:16:42.440 --> 00:16:45.720] I don't know if I can't at this particular juncture.
[00:16:45.720 --> 00:16:47.560] So it would feel, it almost felt like a death.
[00:16:47.560 --> 00:16:50.440] Like, am I seriously just closing my business?
[00:16:50.760 --> 00:16:52.040] How do you unpack that?
[00:16:52.040 --> 00:16:53.880] How do you unravel that, right?
[00:16:54.200 --> 00:16:56.440] But deep down, I knew the truth.
[00:16:56.440 --> 00:16:59.320] Nothing works unless I'm good.
[00:16:59.320 --> 00:17:00.760] That's what it comes down to.
[00:17:00.760 --> 00:17:03.400] Nothing is going to work unless I'm good.
[00:17:03.720 --> 00:17:06.440] So that means I need to take care of myself.
[00:17:06.440 --> 00:17:08.440] I need to put myself first for real.
[00:17:08.440 --> 00:17:11.160] People always say that, but I mean for real.
[00:17:11.160 --> 00:17:16.280] Like I'm talking about I need to eat first before I even make you a sandwich, kid.
[00:17:16.280 --> 00:17:19.720] Like my family needs the healthiest version of me.
[00:17:19.720 --> 00:17:23.320] My business needs the most confident version of me.
[00:17:23.320 --> 00:17:24.600] And I wasn't her.
[00:17:24.600 --> 00:17:26.280] I haven't been her.
[00:17:26.280 --> 00:17:32.280] Not in these moments, not in these last two years, not in these last five years since I've had my son.
[00:17:32.280 --> 00:17:40.520] And so once I made that realization, that's when I started to shift how I think about the order of my life.
[00:17:40.520 --> 00:17:48.960] Not this quick fix version, new year, new me kind of stuff, or, you know, new fall lock-in like they're doing on TikTok this season.
[00:17:49.200 --> 00:17:53.680] I am locking in, but it comes down to more than a challenge, y'all.
[00:17:54.000 --> 00:17:57.200] You're going to see me in this expansion era.
[00:17:57.200 --> 00:18:00.240] You're going to see the real version, the messy version.
[00:18:00.240 --> 00:18:07.120] Who sometimes I, it's not like I'm trying to put up a front, but like everybody else, I'm like, do you want to see this?
[00:18:07.120 --> 00:18:10.960] Can you learn from me having a depressed crying moment?
[00:18:10.960 --> 00:18:13.040] Like, what does that serve you?
[00:18:13.040 --> 00:18:24.480] The way I think about it right now is: yes, the messy version might serve you in the same way it has helped me when other vulnerable women have shared the struggles they're going through.
[00:18:24.480 --> 00:18:26.240] So you can know you're not alone.
[00:18:26.240 --> 00:18:27.280] You're not crazy.
[00:18:27.280 --> 00:18:28.640] This is hard.
[00:18:28.640 --> 00:18:32.400] The way society is designed, it is hard.
[00:18:32.400 --> 00:18:34.400] It's not structured well.
[00:18:34.400 --> 00:18:40.720] There doesn't seem to be enough room for ambition and motherhood to thrive.
[00:18:40.720 --> 00:18:42.160] It just doesn't.
[00:18:42.160 --> 00:18:46.400] But yet I'm still going to find a way.
[00:18:46.400 --> 00:18:47.040] Okay.
[00:18:47.040 --> 00:18:55.920] So you're going to see the real version, the messy version, the kind where I admit to myself that I can't keep doing things the way I've been doing them.
[00:18:55.920 --> 00:18:57.680] What will that look like?
[00:18:58.320 --> 00:19:00.320] Stay tuned.
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[00:21:53.760 --> 00:22:04.960] So, let me share now some of the shifts that I've been making this year, 2025, to step into this expansion era.
[00:22:04.960 --> 00:22:08.160] So, the expansion era didn't just start today with this episode.
[00:22:08.160 --> 00:22:10.800] It's been, I've been planting the seeds.
[00:22:10.800 --> 00:22:16.720] I've reached that breaking point earlier this year where I realized, okay, something's got to shift.
[00:22:16.720 --> 00:22:19.840] So, let me tell you some of the things that I have been shifting.
[00:22:19.840 --> 00:22:26.320] One of the first steps I took was hiring a fitness coach and coach Anna, Anna J.
[00:22:26.320 --> 00:22:30.880] Fit over on IG, I believe is her full URL, full username.
[00:22:30.880 --> 00:22:46.160] And I have to shout out my girl Kwanisha, Kwanisha Green, at this point, because Kwanisha, who I actually went to undergrad with at the University of Pennsylvania, she started sharing her fitness journey on her Instagram and Facebook.
[00:22:46.160 --> 00:22:49.760] She just shared she was working out every single day.
[00:22:49.760 --> 00:22:51.600] Nothing crazy, right?
[00:22:51.600 --> 00:22:54.640] Like some days, if she was tired, it would be an indoor walk.
[00:22:54.640 --> 00:22:57.760] Like she would say, just completed, you know, a mile in the house.
[00:22:57.760 --> 00:22:59.360] Like, that's it for tonight.
[00:22:59.360 --> 00:23:01.640] And at first, I wasn't really paying attention.
[00:23:01.640 --> 00:23:03.560] I was like, oh, you like the post.
[00:23:03.560 --> 00:23:13.480] But then after a while, when she was up to like day 200, and she also showed her weight loss as she was going, but the weight loss is secondary to the commitment.
[00:23:13.480 --> 00:23:15.160] And I was just so impressed.
[00:23:15.160 --> 00:23:18.040] And she started tagging her coach at the time.
[00:23:18.040 --> 00:23:21.000] And so that's how I learned about my coach, Anna.
[00:23:21.320 --> 00:23:27.320] And it was a big deal for me because it meant I was admitting I couldn't do this on my own.
[00:23:27.640 --> 00:23:36.200] I was admitting that instead of thinking, all right, I can do it all or I can figure this out.
[00:23:36.200 --> 00:23:37.720] I can Google and research stuff.
[00:23:37.720 --> 00:23:41.560] I can look on Instagram and save some recipes and save some workouts.
[00:23:41.560 --> 00:23:49.160] And then I just likened it to just because you are the CEO of your life, it doesn't mean you need to run every department.
[00:23:49.160 --> 00:23:52.840] I don't want to be the senior director of fitness anymore.
[00:23:52.840 --> 00:23:54.600] I relinquished that title.
[00:23:54.600 --> 00:23:55.160] Okay.
[00:23:55.160 --> 00:24:07.560] And so here, now I have someone to check in to give me guidance to literally see what I've eaten that week and what I've been eating and how I've been working out to be able to see my blind spots and say, here's what's really going on.
[00:24:07.560 --> 00:24:09.240] And did you check the sodium in that?
[00:24:09.240 --> 00:24:10.520] And all of that.
[00:24:10.520 --> 00:24:17.560] And these are things that you think you are doing on your own, but like everything else, you just kind of get into a groove.
[00:24:17.560 --> 00:24:21.000] You have peaks, you have highs, and then you just dip.
[00:24:21.000 --> 00:24:25.080] And at first, I thought, okay, once I have a coach, the weight will melt off.
[00:24:25.080 --> 00:24:26.680] The habits will magically click.
[00:24:26.680 --> 00:24:28.440] I'll be so pumped.
[00:24:28.440 --> 00:24:29.640] It's going to be great.
[00:24:29.960 --> 00:24:31.320] And at first, it was like that.
[00:24:31.320 --> 00:24:32.360] I was souped up.
[00:24:32.360 --> 00:24:37.160] I was like working out at least four days a week, every week for a few weeks.
[00:24:37.160 --> 00:24:39.480] But of course, it wasn't that simple.
[00:24:39.480 --> 00:24:41.960] The weight was coming off slowly.
[00:24:41.960 --> 00:24:44.720] I'm talking about slow as molasses.
[00:24:44.280 --> 00:24:48.320] And it was because I was still emotional eating when I had a bad day.
[00:24:48.640 --> 00:24:52.160] And honestly, being an entrepreneur means a lot of bad days.
[00:24:52.160 --> 00:24:55.440] It means I was riding those highs and lows every single week.
[00:24:55.440 --> 00:25:04.560] I was dealing with things like IEP meetings for Kingston and the emotional draining nature of that when someone's always talking about your kid.
[00:25:04.560 --> 00:25:12.160] And, you know, you know what a brilliant, amazing kid you have, but you have to go through this process to get the best resources for them.
[00:25:12.160 --> 00:25:15.200] But it is emotionally taxing.
[00:25:15.200 --> 00:25:18.640] And so there were days I crushed my to-do list and felt unstoppable.
[00:25:18.640 --> 00:25:27.120] And then there were days where I wanted to crawl out of the covers and not be seen at all and not talk to no one and not answer one more thing or fill out one more evaluation or have one more meeting.
[00:25:27.120 --> 00:25:28.400] None of it.
[00:25:28.400 --> 00:25:35.280] So after going through that and the initial phases of working together, I finally said to my fitness coach, this isn't working for me.
[00:25:35.280 --> 00:25:45.840] Trying to check all these boxes every day of all the things I'm supposed to do, you know, do the meals, log them in the app, do this workout, drink X amount of ounces of water, get this amount of sleep.
[00:25:45.840 --> 00:25:49.200] I was like, this is adding to my mental load.
[00:25:49.520 --> 00:25:51.120] So I had to do something different.
[00:25:51.120 --> 00:25:52.800] And together, we simplified it.
[00:25:52.800 --> 00:25:55.440] We focused on one thing at a time.
[00:25:55.440 --> 00:25:56.640] First, food.
[00:25:56.640 --> 00:25:59.920] I decided I was committed to ordering out way less.
[00:25:59.920 --> 00:26:03.760] So I started making and cooking my own meals, even when I didn't feel like it.
[00:26:03.760 --> 00:26:13.760] And the way I was able to do that, if you're a person like me who really doesn't enjoy being in the kitchen for long, really doesn't enjoy meal prepping a whole bunch of stuff on a Sunday, like what?
[00:26:14.400 --> 00:26:19.360] If you're like me, to make it fun, I decided to romanticize the process.
[00:26:19.360 --> 00:26:22.000] I got myself this cute little checkered planner.
[00:26:22.000 --> 00:26:28.080] It's like a faux louis planner and a meal planning notepad from Amazon.
[00:26:28.080 --> 00:26:33.960] And then I started browsing TikTok and YouTube shorts for quick recipes.
[00:26:29.760 --> 00:26:34.200] Okay.
[00:26:34.360 --> 00:26:38.920] I am the queen of sheet pan meals and crock pop dinners right now.
[00:26:38.920 --> 00:26:43.320] And everything goes on the sheet pan: broccoli, sweet potatoes, everything.
[00:26:43.320 --> 00:26:44.200] One fell soup.
[00:26:44.200 --> 00:26:44.440] Whoop!
[00:26:44.520 --> 00:26:45.480] There you go.
[00:26:45.480 --> 00:26:49.080] And I was looking for things I could cook once and enjoy for many days.
[00:26:49.080 --> 00:26:55.080] And then, you know, do another sheet pan in the middle of the week and enjoy for many days the whole family.
[00:26:55.080 --> 00:26:59.320] And suddenly, something that used to feel overwhelming started to feel doable.
[00:26:59.320 --> 00:27:04.280] And especially because I'm always looking up things that are tasty, that are good, that are filling.
[00:27:04.280 --> 00:27:11.640] And then I don't have the cravings the same way I did because here I've just found something that feels really yummy and is better for me.
[00:27:11.640 --> 00:27:18.360] And for real, not for fake, because sometimes people say this and they're making, oh my God, they're making the most bland meal in life.
[00:27:18.360 --> 00:27:19.000] Uh-uh.
[00:27:19.000 --> 00:27:21.720] No, that was never going to work for me.
[00:27:21.720 --> 00:27:25.800] So that has really helped me because it's given me energy, right?
[00:27:25.800 --> 00:27:27.560] I'm getting nutrients I need.
[00:27:27.560 --> 00:27:37.400] And again, I'm feeling better mentally because of what I'm putting into my body, which is helping me to change in so many ways.
[00:27:37.400 --> 00:27:47.560] So the second thing I focused on when it came to the expansion of my fitness was movement and very easy movement.
[00:27:47.560 --> 00:27:51.720] I want movement to feel like something that's a no-brainer that can just happen.
[00:27:51.720 --> 00:28:03.240] So we, for now, did away with all the weight workouts in the app, the exercises on the app that she was giving me because, again, that was just another thing on my mental load.
[00:28:03.240 --> 00:28:11.400] Oh, I gotta, you know, schedule some time or wake up early when I'm getting not so much sleep already to try to squeeze in this 40-minute workout on the app.
[00:28:11.400 --> 00:28:14.280] And it's like, no, why don't I just walk?
[00:28:14.280 --> 00:28:19.680] And it's not just walking because, let me tell you, walking is so incredible for your body and your mental health.
[00:28:19.680 --> 00:28:22.560] So it was really accomplishing two things at the same time.
[00:28:22.800 --> 00:28:28.000] I remembered back to 2022 when all I would do was just walk every day.
[00:28:28.000 --> 00:28:31.760] And then the weight just slowly but consistently started coming off.
[00:28:31.760 --> 00:28:35.520] And I was feeling so much better getting that walking every day.
[00:28:35.840 --> 00:28:39.680] And this is what I decided to focus on: my daily 10,000 steps.
[00:28:39.680 --> 00:28:51.520] And by the way, speaking of 10,000 steps, my coach reminded me: one of the first things we talked about in my initial consult call with her was everybody talks about 10,000 steps a day, right?
[00:28:51.840 --> 00:28:58.640] But if you're barely hitting 5,000 or 6,000 regularly, that's just not realistic.
[00:28:58.640 --> 00:29:03.600] So we set a goal: 8,000 minimum and 10,000 as a stretch.
[00:29:03.600 --> 00:29:09.920] But now, because I've been doing this for more consistently, I always aim for 10,000 and then some days fall.
[00:29:09.920 --> 00:29:11.920] But that's my new focus.
[00:29:11.920 --> 00:29:14.000] And yeah, that's what I started doing.
[00:29:14.000 --> 00:29:23.600] On good days, I'll walk outside, or on days when I'm less crazed, when it's nice weather, I'll walk outside, breathe the fresh air, and clear my head.
[00:29:23.600 --> 00:29:26.400] And on busier days, I hop on the mini-stepper.
[00:29:26.400 --> 00:29:29.360] Sometimes I step in the kitchen while meals are cooking.
[00:29:29.360 --> 00:29:36.000] Other times, I step in the bedroom or I step in the alcove, in the hallway.
[00:29:36.000 --> 00:29:38.640] I step anywhere after the kids went to bed.
[00:29:38.640 --> 00:29:47.200] If I did not get my 10,000 steps, what I love to do at night is just finish those up on a mini stepper in the dark, in the kitchen.
[00:29:47.200 --> 00:29:50.160] And it's also a way of clearing my mind before bed.
[00:29:50.160 --> 00:29:53.280] So it's not fancy, but it is consistent.
[00:29:53.280 --> 00:29:58.880] And consistency more than anything is what started to shift how I feel about myself.
[00:29:58.880 --> 00:30:13.480] I think there's no denying that when you make a commitment to yourself and you love on yourself in that way by treating yourself good, your body good, and giving yourself what you need and deserve, there is a level of confidence and hype that comes from that.
[00:30:13.480 --> 00:30:16.280] Because, like, I'm looking at myself now and I'm like, you go, girl.
[00:30:16.280 --> 00:30:28.920] Like, even when I don't lose weight, and we know weight is not even the best metric, but I look at myself in the mirror and I'm like, oh, I've maintained this weight loss that I've had so far for X amount of days.
[00:30:28.920 --> 00:30:34.360] I used to, you know, I didn't put on any water weight or any crazy thing as soon as I saw that number on the scale.
[00:30:34.360 --> 00:30:38.200] Then going out and buying a burger, like, no, girl, you're doing it.
[00:30:38.200 --> 00:30:39.640] So I love that.
[00:30:39.640 --> 00:30:53.880] And I've realized just how much taking care of me doesn't have to look like a total life overhaul, which is good because, like they say, if you're making something a lifestyle, it really has to fit into your life as it is right now.
[00:30:53.880 --> 00:30:57.960] If you're overhauling, you might not be able to stick to that overhaul.
[00:30:57.960 --> 00:31:07.080] So I love that it can start like this and it can start with one small thing, repeat it over and over until it adds up.
[00:31:07.080 --> 00:31:12.120] So those were my small steps in the area of fitness and health.
[00:31:12.120 --> 00:31:14.120] But it wasn't just my health.
[00:31:14.120 --> 00:31:19.320] I realized I had also lost confidence in myself as a business owner.
[00:31:19.320 --> 00:31:27.800] The strategies I used to bring in clients as a podcast coach, they in the last few years weren't working anymore, or at least I thought.
[00:31:27.800 --> 00:31:31.320] And instead of tweaking and testing, I internalized it.
[00:31:31.320 --> 00:31:33.480] I told myself, maybe I'm bad at this.
[00:31:33.480 --> 00:31:34.680] Maybe I'm not good anymore.
[00:31:34.680 --> 00:31:36.280] Maybe no one cares about this.
[00:31:36.280 --> 00:31:40.080] Maybe no one cares about podcasting, which is so ironic.
[00:31:40.080 --> 00:31:48.560] As everyone under the sun, from Michelle Obama to Travis Kelsey and Jason Kelsey, everyone under the sun, LeBron starts a podcast.
[00:31:44.840 --> 00:31:52.000] And I was telling myself that maybe they aren't relevant anymore.
[00:31:52.320 --> 00:31:53.680] So I stopped.
[00:31:53.680 --> 00:31:56.720] I stopped hosting my podcast webinars.
[00:31:56.720 --> 00:32:02.080] I stopped coaching cold turkey too for an entire year.
[00:32:02.400 --> 00:32:10.000] And then one day I realized that I cannot figure this out on my own.
[00:32:10.000 --> 00:32:17.440] So just like I got a fitness coach, I realized it was finally time to invest in a business coach again.
[00:32:17.440 --> 00:32:22.880] And I was talking to my coach, Claire, and she said something that really stuck with me.
[00:32:22.880 --> 00:32:26.640] And this again was during our consult call for the program.
[00:32:26.640 --> 00:32:29.760] And she says, I think you need a confidence boost.
[00:32:29.760 --> 00:32:31.680] And in that moment, I felt it.
[00:32:31.680 --> 00:32:32.960] She was right.
[00:32:32.960 --> 00:32:37.680] There was this disconnect between how people saw me and how I was actually feeling.
[00:32:37.680 --> 00:32:42.240] To close that gap, it wasn't about another strategy or another checklist.
[00:32:42.240 --> 00:32:45.120] It was going to be an inside job.
[00:32:45.120 --> 00:32:51.920] And it hit me that I hadn't even had a business coach since 2017 when I first quit my job.
[00:32:51.920 --> 00:32:54.000] Back then, I knew I needed guidance.
[00:32:54.000 --> 00:32:56.080] I was working in corporate nine to five.
[00:32:56.080 --> 00:33:03.440] How could I possibly become an entrepreneur without guidance from somebody who had done a similar business model before me?
[00:33:03.440 --> 00:33:05.200] So that's what I did.
[00:33:05.200 --> 00:33:13.280] But somewhere along the way, I convinced myself that now I should know it all, you know, six, seven years into business.
[00:33:13.280 --> 00:33:19.240] And when you think about it, like if you really think about business years as like life years, that's crazy.
[00:33:19.240 --> 00:33:21.760] That I thought, what is it now?
[00:33:21.760 --> 00:33:23.440] Actually, eight years in business, right?
[00:33:23.440 --> 00:33:26.000] That I think eight-year-old me should know it all.
[00:33:26.000 --> 00:33:27.520] Isn't that crazy?
[00:33:27.520 --> 00:33:30.360] But after all, I thought I have my MBA.
[00:33:30.360 --> 00:33:32.840] I'd already worked with a coach when I was starting out.
[00:33:29.840 --> 00:33:34.280] So I got this.
[00:33:34.600 --> 00:33:39.240] And when I would hit a wall, I just told myself, research harder, try harder.
[00:33:39.240 --> 00:33:40.600] Use what you already know.
[00:33:40.600 --> 00:33:43.000] Just keep trying, figure it out on your own.
[00:33:43.000 --> 00:33:47.160] But no, no, Nikayla, you need guidance.
[00:33:47.160 --> 00:33:49.960] You need someone who can see what you can't.
[00:33:49.960 --> 00:33:57.640] So that is what convinced me to finally make another investment in myself in the area of business coaching.
[00:33:57.640 --> 00:34:00.920] With all of these investments, by the way, I didn't want to make them.
[00:34:00.920 --> 00:34:01.400] Why?
[00:34:01.400 --> 00:34:08.840] Because I just kept thinking about my dwindling bank account, my inconsistent revenue streams at the moment.
[00:34:08.840 --> 00:34:12.040] And I thought, how dare I invest in this right now?
[00:34:12.040 --> 00:34:13.800] Like, I need that money.
[00:34:13.800 --> 00:34:16.600] But at the same time, that is such limited thinking.
[00:34:16.600 --> 00:34:22.840] And you cannot get to expansion and your expansion era unless you do something different towards that.
[00:34:22.840 --> 00:34:27.400] Now, it's not saying, I'm never saying that you should go spend money recklessly.
[00:34:27.560 --> 00:34:30.840] I'm telling you about the investments I made and how I got there.
[00:34:31.160 --> 00:34:43.880] So, one of the things I valued about my current business coach, Claire, is that not only do we have the one-on-ones with my one-on-one time, I have my group coaching time, and then we also have what's called a mindset call.
[00:34:44.200 --> 00:34:55.880] And so, when you hit those low moments, like the ones I just talked about, where you have these limiting thoughts coming into your brain, when you submit your questions, we submit questions before the man our call.
[00:34:55.880 --> 00:34:59.240] So, let's say you're submitting your question, your mindset question.
[00:34:59.240 --> 00:35:05.480] You have to not only submit the question, but submit the context, the limiting beliefs, the stories you're telling yourself.
[00:35:05.480 --> 00:35:17.440] And by the time you're reflecting on it all, you do kind of have to laugh at yourself, but still, it is good to talk it through with your coach, with a group.
[00:35:14.760 --> 00:35:20.560] And by the time I was done, I realized I've been tripping.
[00:35:20.880 --> 00:35:22.800] I come on, I'm the best to ever do it.
[00:35:22.800 --> 00:35:24.160] I'm a badass podcast coach.
[00:35:24.160 --> 00:35:25.520] It's time to start acting like it.
[00:35:25.520 --> 00:35:26.960] Like enough.
[00:35:27.280 --> 00:35:28.560] It was my wake-up call.
[00:35:28.560 --> 00:35:42.720] But if I hadn't started to get coaching again, I would not have been able to unlock that for myself because when you're in the depths of these kinds of emotions, it is very hard to claw yourself out without some support.
[00:35:42.720 --> 00:35:54.480] So what I learned from being back in this season where I'm getting regular business coaching is as an entrepreneur, slow down if you have to, but you cannot quit.
[00:35:54.480 --> 00:35:57.680] Definitely don't tie your worth to income.
[00:35:57.680 --> 00:35:58.880] That can go up and down.
[00:35:58.880 --> 00:36:01.840] So are you just going to go down every time it goes down?
[00:36:01.840 --> 00:36:02.400] Right.
[00:36:02.720 --> 00:36:05.200] And keep getting coaching.
[00:36:05.200 --> 00:36:10.240] Keep getting guidance because this isn't school.
[00:36:10.240 --> 00:36:13.520] You do not graduate from being an entrepreneur.
[00:36:13.520 --> 00:36:15.440] You keep on learning.
[00:36:15.440 --> 00:36:19.760] Even if you've had success before, you cannot keep growing without guidance.
[00:36:19.760 --> 00:36:28.160] You cannot keep adjusting to the different trends of economic times that are going to come and go without guidance.
[00:36:28.160 --> 00:36:32.480] And so once I started receiving coaching again, things began to shift.
[00:36:32.480 --> 00:36:36.240] I went back to hosting my webinars every week.
[00:36:36.240 --> 00:36:40.880] And it's every week for now as I wanted to get into my rhythm.
[00:36:40.880 --> 00:36:41.920] And guess what?
[00:36:41.920 --> 00:36:52.400] Not only am I helping people who truly need my knowledge and wisdom when it comes to launching and growing their podcast, but I also have regular predictable income again.
[00:36:52.400 --> 00:36:59.520] And I no longer have to wait for some of my other revenue streams that have longer payout windows, right?
[00:36:59.520 --> 00:37:11.640] No more waiting for a big sponsor check to hit in 30 days, no more living in uncertainty, no more fear or devastation when a check doesn't land on the day it was meant to.
[00:37:11.640 --> 00:37:16.360] Like I have way more control over it now.
[00:37:16.360 --> 00:37:19.640] And all I'm seeing is steady, consistent progress.
[00:37:19.640 --> 00:37:22.360] It really is about staying in the game.
[00:37:22.360 --> 00:37:28.600] Like if you get out the game and you move yourself and you're on the sidelines, you simply can't get no shots in.
[00:37:28.600 --> 00:37:30.440] How can you make no shots if you're on the bench, right?
[00:37:30.440 --> 00:37:34.760] So you have to stay in the game for that steady, consistent progress.
[00:37:34.760 --> 00:37:38.680] And with that, I also started to feel like myself again.
[00:37:38.680 --> 00:37:52.280] But instead of attaching worth or pride to the income, I feel so much pride in myself for getting back on the horse and doing what I need to do for myself.
[00:37:52.280 --> 00:37:58.840] And so now I know that the best thing about myself is that I will persevere.
[00:37:58.840 --> 00:38:00.280] I will persevere.
[00:38:00.280 --> 00:38:05.480] And that is the best trait to have, especially as an entrepreneur.
[00:38:05.480 --> 00:38:10.920] The last piece of my comeback so far, y'all, is going back to therapy.
[00:38:10.920 --> 00:38:15.480] So I'd stop going again because honestly, I didn't want to pay for yet another thing.
[00:38:15.480 --> 00:38:17.240] Y'all see a trend here?
[00:38:17.240 --> 00:38:21.560] I did not want to pay for things and I suffered.
[00:38:21.560 --> 00:38:25.320] But if my mind isn't good, nothing is good.
[00:38:25.640 --> 00:38:29.480] Nothing else is worth paying for if my mind isn't good.
[00:38:29.480 --> 00:38:38.920] So therapy has given me that safe space to vent, to process, and to start peeling back the layers of shame that had been weighing me down.
[00:38:38.920 --> 00:38:43.240] I carried shame for things like hitting a downturn in my business.
[00:38:43.240 --> 00:38:48.800] I carried shame for even considering quitting my podcast and business and going back to corporate America.
[00:38:48.800 --> 00:38:51.040] And there's absolutely nothing wrong with that.
[00:38:51.040 --> 00:38:52.800] I'm not opposed, okay?
[00:38:52.800 --> 00:38:56.560] But I carried shame with those feelings and those movements.
[00:38:56.560 --> 00:38:57.040] Why?
[00:38:57.040 --> 00:38:59.120] Let's unpack that in this season.
[00:38:59.120 --> 00:39:02.640] I also carried shame about not being able to lose the weight.
[00:39:02.640 --> 00:39:07.680] And all of that shame just kept me crippled for many years.
[00:39:08.000 --> 00:39:13.200] But shame thrives in silence, at least it does for me.
[00:39:13.200 --> 00:39:15.040] And I'm over it, okay?
[00:39:15.360 --> 00:39:18.960] So once I bring it to light, it loses its power.
[00:39:18.960 --> 00:39:28.800] And once I start talking about it, once I have someone helping me challenge these thoughts, I realize so much of what I believe isn't even true.
[00:39:29.120 --> 00:39:37.440] And when I was bogged down in those lies, I felt trapped in this spiral of unraveling.
[00:39:37.440 --> 00:39:41.520] And when I'm not bogged down in the lies, I'm free.
[00:39:41.520 --> 00:39:42.800] I'm confident.
[00:39:42.800 --> 00:39:44.080] I'm free to create.
[00:39:44.080 --> 00:39:45.360] I'm free to show up.
[00:39:45.680 --> 00:39:52.160] I'm free to expand into new parts of myself, both as a woman and as a creative.
[00:39:52.480 --> 00:39:59.520] So, one of the things that has recently inspired me in this season is a sermon that I heard.
[00:39:59.520 --> 00:40:04.000] So, when I was living in Virginia, I used to attend Alfred Street Baptist Church.
[00:40:04.000 --> 00:40:07.200] I became a member actually during the pandemic.
[00:40:07.200 --> 00:40:12.320] And even though we're in New York now, I listen religiously every single Sunday.
[00:40:12.320 --> 00:40:13.600] And recently, Dr.
[00:40:13.600 --> 00:40:13.920] F.
[00:40:13.920 --> 00:40:19.520] Bruce Williams was a visiting pastor, and he preached a sermon.
[00:40:19.520 --> 00:40:22.400] It was about watch your mouth.
[00:40:22.400 --> 00:40:28.320] And he talked about Proverbs 18: how life and death is in the power of the tongue.
[00:40:28.320 --> 00:40:38.520] And the pastor said that we have to guard what we say to others, of course, yes, but we have to watch how we talk to ourselves.
[00:40:38.520 --> 00:40:45.160] And that hit me hard because I hadn't been speaking very kindly to myself for a long time.
[00:40:45.160 --> 00:40:54.600] You know, I had been my harshest critic, and God reminded me that my words have power.
[00:40:54.920 --> 00:41:03.240] And most importantly, I can't beat myself up for not knowing how to navigate seasons I've never been in before.
[00:41:03.560 --> 00:41:05.800] I've never been a mom before.
[00:41:05.800 --> 00:41:11.480] How can I beat myself up for not knowing and not figuring things out?
[00:41:11.480 --> 00:41:13.560] I've never been a business owner before.
[00:41:13.560 --> 00:41:15.080] I've never been in these situations.
[00:41:15.080 --> 00:41:18.840] I've never been in an economic downturn as a business owner before.
[00:41:18.840 --> 00:41:25.640] I cannot beat myself up for not knowing how to navigate seasons I've never been in.
[00:41:25.640 --> 00:41:26.920] And what about you?
[00:41:26.920 --> 00:41:32.840] If you've lost your job, if you're going through it, like you cannot beat yourself up.
[00:41:32.840 --> 00:41:34.840] You've never gone through this before.
[00:41:34.840 --> 00:41:40.360] The only way, sadly, that we learn is through going through it and we'll be prepared for next time.
[00:41:40.360 --> 00:41:41.880] But probably there won't be a next time.
[00:41:41.880 --> 00:41:46.920] There'll be something else that we've never dealt with before that we have to navigate.
[00:41:46.920 --> 00:41:52.280] So we have to learn from now: look, I am not going to beat myself up over this.
[00:41:52.280 --> 00:41:58.040] I am going to learn how to weather this storm and make it through.
[00:41:58.040 --> 00:42:00.120] And we can make it through.
[00:42:00.440 --> 00:42:06.040] So, I made a promise to myself to lean on God fully and watch my mouth.
[00:42:06.360 --> 00:42:08.760] So, my story is far from over.
[00:42:08.760 --> 00:42:14.600] This is an expansion era, a season of finding my way back, a season of stepping into the greatness God has for me.
[00:42:14.600 --> 00:42:28.000] So, in this series, I'm taking you behind the scenes: the highs, the messy moments, the business wins, and the losses, and the lessons I'm learning as I rebuild my confidence and expand into the next chapter.
[00:42:28.000 --> 00:42:33.840] And hey, if you've ever felt like you lost your spark, I hope this helps you feel less alone.
[00:42:33.840 --> 00:42:41.920] And if podcasting is part of your journey, I'd love to invite you to my free training where I'll show you how to grow your show and turn it into income.
[00:42:41.920 --> 00:42:47.280] The link is in the description: it's sidehustlepro.co/slash/free training.
[00:42:47.280 --> 00:43:02.000] Because let me tell you something, I would not be where I am and would not be processing and able to process these kinds of emotions and get back on my feet and start generating income if I did not have a podcast.
[00:43:02.000 --> 00:43:08.960] My podcast has been revolutionary to my life, no exaggeration.
[00:43:08.960 --> 00:43:15.600] And so, if you're navigating a season of uncertainty, I encourage you to explore using your voice.
[00:43:15.600 --> 00:43:22.560] Head over to sidehustlepro.co/slash free training to attend my next live webinar.
[00:43:22.560 --> 00:43:26.640] This is my expansion era, and maybe it's yours too.
[00:43:28.240 --> 00:43:31.280] Hey guys, thanks for listening to Side Hustle Pro.
[00:43:31.280 --> 00:43:36.080] If you like the show, be sure to subscribe, rate, and review on Apple Podcasts.
[00:43:36.080 --> 00:43:39.760] It helps other side hustlers just like you to find the show.
[00:43:39.760 --> 00:43:44.400] And if you want to hear more from me, you can follow me on Instagram at SideHustle Pro.
[00:43:44.400 --> 00:43:51.520] Plus, sign up for my six-book Saturday newsletter at sidehustlepro.co/slash newsletter.
[00:43:51.520 --> 00:43:58.880] When you sign up, you will receive weekly nuggets from me, including what I'm up to, personal lessons, and my business tip of the week.
[00:43:58.880 --> 00:44:03.640] Again, that's sidehustlepro.co/slash newsletter to sign up.
[00:43:59.840 --> 00:44:04.920] Talk to you soon.
[00:44:11.960 --> 00:44:15.720] ACAST powers the world's best podcasts.
[00:44:15.720 --> 00:44:18.040] Here's the show that we recommend.
[00:44:19.960 --> 00:44:23.000] Hey, everybody, I'm Naomi Acparagin, and I'm Andy Beckerman.
[00:44:23.000 --> 00:44:28.040] We're a real-life couple and a real-life couple of comedians, and we're the hosts of the podcast, Couples Therapy.
[00:44:28.040 --> 00:44:30.920] We're the only comedy relationship podcast ever.
[00:44:30.920 --> 00:44:32.040] Yeah, I said it.
[00:44:32.040 --> 00:44:37.560] And we're so good, we've been written up in both the New York Times and we made Grindr's list of top podcasts.
[00:44:37.560 --> 00:44:39.720] Yes, we're giving you that high-low appeal.
[00:44:39.720 --> 00:44:40.440] Trust.
[00:44:40.440 --> 00:44:48.840] On the show, we talk to guests like Bob the Drag Queen, Angelica Ross, Owen Yang, Janelle James, Danny Pootie, Darcy Cardin, Paul F.
[00:44:48.840 --> 00:44:50.760] Tompkins, and more.
[00:44:50.760 --> 00:44:53.880] All about love, mental health, and everything in between.
[00:44:53.880 --> 00:44:56.360] And we answer your relationship questions.
[00:44:56.360 --> 00:44:59.720] We are two unlicensed comedians just trying to help you out.
[00:44:59.720 --> 00:45:05.080] So open your hearts, loosen your butts, because we got a lot of laughs and a lot of real talk just for you.
[00:45:05.080 --> 00:45:09.000] Download Couples Therapy wherever you get your podcasts.
[00:45:11.240 --> 00:45:17.000] ACAST helps creators launch, grow, and monetize their podcasts everywhere.
[00:45:17.000 --> 00:45:18.840] ACAST.com.

Prompt 2: Key Takeaways

Now please extract the key takeaways from the transcript content I provided.

Extract the most important key takeaways from this part of the conversation. Use a single sentence statement (the key takeaway) rather than milquetoast descriptions like "the hosts discuss...". 

Limit the key takeaways to a maximum of 3. The key takeaways should be insightful and knowledge-additive. 

IMPORTANT: Return ONLY valid JSON, no explanations or markdown. Ensure:
- All strings are properly quoted and escaped
- No trailing commas
- All braces and brackets are balanced
Format: {"key_takeaways": ["takeaway 1", "takeaway 2"]}

Prompt 3: Segments

Now identify 2-4 distinct topical segments from this part of the conversation.

For each segment, identify:
- Descriptive title (3-6 words)  
- START timestamp when this topic begins (HH:MM:SS format)
- Double check that the timestamp is accurate - a timestamp will NEVER be greater than the total length of the audio
- Most important Key takeaway from that segment. Key takeaway must be specific and knowledge-additive.
- Brief summary of the discussion

IMPORTANT: The timestamp should mark when the topic/segment STARTS, not a range. Look for topic transitions and conversation shifts.

Return ONLY valid JSON. Ensure all strings are properly quoted, no trailing commas:
{
  "segments": [
    {
      "segment_title": "Topic Discussion", 
      "timestamp": "01:15:30",
      "key_takeaway": "main point from this segment",
      "segment_summary": "brief description of what was discussed"
    }
  ]
}

Timestamp format: HH:MM:SS (e.g., 00:05:30, 01:22:45) marking the START of each segment.

Prompt 4: Media Mentions

Now scan the transcript content I provided for ACTUAL mentions of specific media titles:

Find explicit mentions of:
- Books (with specific titles)
- Movies (with specific titles)  
- TV Shows (with specific titles)
- Music/Songs (with specific titles)

DO NOT include:
- Websites, URLs, or web services
- Other podcasts or podcast names

IMPORTANT: 
- Only include items explicitly mentioned by name. Do not invent titles.
- Valid categories are: "Book", "Movie", "TV Show", "Music"
- Include the exact phrase where each item was mentioned
- Find the nearest proximate timestamp where it appears in the conversation
- THE TIMESTAMP OF THE MEDIA MENTION IS IMPORTANT - DO NOT INVENT TIMESTAMPS AND DO NOT MISATTRIBUTE TIMESTAMPS
- Double check that the timestamp is accurate - a timestamp will NEVER be greater than the total length of the audio
- Timestamps are given as ranges, e.g. 01:13:42.520 --> 01:13:46.720. Use the EARLIER of the 2 timestamps in the range.

Return ONLY valid JSON. Ensure all strings are properly quoted and escaped, no trailing commas:
{
  "media_mentions": [
    {
      "title": "Exact Title as Mentioned",
      "category": "Book",
      "author_artist": "N/A",
      "context": "Brief context of why it was mentioned",
      "context_phrase": "The exact sentence or phrase where it was mentioned",
      "timestamp": "estimated time like 01:15:30"
    }
  ]
}

If no media is mentioned, return: {"media_mentions": []}

Full Transcript

[00:00:01.120 --> 00:00:02.160] Race the runners!
[00:00:02.160 --> 00:00:03.040] Raise the sales!
[00:00:03.040 --> 00:00:04.240] Raise the sales!
[00:00:04.240 --> 00:00:06.240] Captain, an unidentified ship is approaching.
[00:00:06.240 --> 00:00:06.800] Over.
[00:00:06.800 --> 00:00:10.400] Roger, wait, is that an enterprise sales solution?
[00:00:10.400 --> 00:00:13.760] Reach sales professionals, not professional sailors.
[00:00:13.760 --> 00:00:18.160] With LinkedIn ads, you can target the right people by industry, job title, and more.
[00:00:18.160 --> 00:00:20.960] Start converting your B2B audience today.
[00:00:20.960 --> 00:00:26.640] Spend $250 on your first campaign and get a free $250 credit for the next one.
[00:00:26.640 --> 00:00:29.600] Get started today at linkedin.com/slash campaign.
[00:00:29.600 --> 00:00:31.680] Terms and conditions apply.
[00:00:33.600 --> 00:00:37.360] ACAST powers the world's best podcasts.
[00:00:37.360 --> 00:00:39.680] Here's a show that we recommend.
[00:00:41.600 --> 00:00:49.520] Look, love it or hate it, the advertising and marketing industry is the ultimate broker of power and influence in the world today.
[00:00:49.840 --> 00:00:52.480] And now you can look behind the curtain.
[00:00:52.480 --> 00:00:58.560] I'm Ryan Joe, editor-in-chief of AdWeek and host of our new weekly podcast, AdSpeak.
[00:00:58.880 --> 00:01:09.760] AdSpeak brings stories from our top reporters to life and delves into the people and companies that shape the products we buy, the entertainment we enjoy, and how we view the world.
[00:01:10.080 --> 00:01:16.480] We're bringing the drama of the newsroom directly to you and revealing the untold stories behind the headline.
[00:01:16.480 --> 00:01:20.080] AdSpeak by AdWeek is your new essential weekly podcast.
[00:01:20.080 --> 00:01:25.840] Subscribe and follow on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.
[00:01:27.440 --> 00:01:33.200] ACAST helps creators launch, grow, and monetize their podcasts everywhere.
[00:01:33.200 --> 00:01:35.200] Acast.com.
[00:01:37.440 --> 00:01:40.160] Shame thrives in silence.
[00:01:40.160 --> 00:01:41.760] At least it does for me.
[00:01:41.760 --> 00:01:43.840] And I'm over it.
[00:01:44.160 --> 00:01:52.880] You're listening to Side Hustle Pro, the podcast that teaches you to build and grow your side hustle from passion project to profitable business.
[00:01:52.880 --> 00:01:55.840] And I'm your host, Nikayla Matthews Ocome.
[00:01:55.840 --> 00:01:57.480] So let's get started.
[00:01:59.720 --> 00:02:00.520] Hey, friends.
[00:01:57.360 --> 00:02:02.680] Hey, welcome, welcome back to the show.
[00:02:02.840 --> 00:02:11.080] It's Nikayla here, back to kick off this fall season with a solo episode.
[00:02:11.080 --> 00:02:14.200] Now, this isn't just any solo episode.
[00:02:14.200 --> 00:02:19.560] This is the beginning of what I'm calling the expansion era.
[00:02:19.560 --> 00:02:20.520] Why?
[00:02:20.520 --> 00:02:23.160] You'll hear more about it in a second.
[00:02:23.160 --> 00:02:27.960] So, first of all, I have to admit, I am a little bit nervous, y'all.
[00:02:28.280 --> 00:02:34.440] I feel that I have never been this vulnerable and open on this show before.
[00:02:34.760 --> 00:02:59.000] And as I was outlining today's episode, to be honest, I teared up more than once because obviously I was reliving some stuff and I'm just honestly just sitting back and looking at how much I've been shouldering the last few years and how much not talking about it has probably been to my detriment.
[00:02:59.000 --> 00:03:04.600] And so, this expansion era is about expanding in more than one way.
[00:03:04.600 --> 00:03:32.200] It's about opening myself up to the Nikayla I know I can be and stepping into a new era of myself in not only business-wise, but personally and also hopefully by sharing my story, being able to open up community for other women and other entrepreneurs and other mothers and just community in hearing that you are not alone.
[00:03:32.200 --> 00:03:35.240] I know how impactful that's been for my journey.
[00:03:35.240 --> 00:03:37.400] So, here we go.
[00:03:37.720 --> 00:03:38.840] So, let's take it back.
[00:03:38.840 --> 00:03:39.560] All right.
[00:03:39.560 --> 00:03:48.320] The whole premise of this episode is how I lost my mojo and what I'm doing to get it back.
[00:03:48.320 --> 00:03:53.440] So, first of all, let me say today I'm going to be real about what it all looks like, how I'm getting back to me.
[00:03:53.440 --> 00:03:55.520] This isn't a highlight reel at all.
[00:03:55.520 --> 00:04:01.200] This is me stripped down, telling the truth about the last few years and a little bit of backstory.
[00:04:01.200 --> 00:04:08.160] So, when I launched my podcast back in 2016, I had no idea what it would grow into.
[00:04:08.480 --> 00:04:17.840] I started it out, it picked up because there was a need for these stories of black women entrepreneurs who were side hustlers, turned full-time entrepreneurs.
[00:04:17.840 --> 00:04:21.920] I was craving it, other people were craving it, so it took off.
[00:04:21.920 --> 00:04:26.960] I leaned into it, I went hard on marketing, I went hard on promotion.
[00:04:26.960 --> 00:04:31.360] And by 2017, I was able to quit my job to do it full-time.
[00:04:31.360 --> 00:04:34.880] By 2019, I was having one of my best years yet.
[00:04:34.880 --> 00:04:51.120] The show was thriving, sponsorships were coming in, I was getting approached with deals and sponsorships, I was being approached to be on the Today Show, I was coaching women on how to grow their own podcast, and I felt like I was finally walking in my purpose.
[00:04:51.120 --> 00:04:59.520] But then 2020 came, I had my first baby, and right after that, the pandemic hit.
[00:04:59.520 --> 00:05:09.840] So, suddenly, there was a brand new mom stuck at home with my baby boy Kingston with no real plan for how life or business was going to look.
[00:05:09.840 --> 00:05:14.240] It was me and Moyo figuring it out alone at that point.
[00:05:14.240 --> 00:05:19.840] So, when I launched Side Hustle Pro, I we were living in Arlington, Virginia.
[00:05:19.840 --> 00:05:29.040] We had moved to Baltimore, Maryland, at the top of 2020 to be a little closer to our family in New York, but still, you know, enjoy the space of the DMV.
[00:05:29.040 --> 00:05:32.040] And I really enjoyed our time in Baltimore, but I digress.
[00:05:32.920 --> 00:05:42.040] So I didn't really get it until I was in it that, whoa, I did not plan what life would look like now.
[00:05:42.040 --> 00:05:44.600] Let me be honest, I was stressed.
[00:05:44.600 --> 00:05:46.200] I was eating to cope.
[00:05:46.200 --> 00:05:49.240] I was inside all day just trying to figure it out.
[00:05:49.240 --> 00:05:56.920] All the while, while this scary stuff is happening outside, people are putting things in our head about what we can and can't do.
[00:05:56.920 --> 00:05:59.720] People are judging what we do and what we don't do.
[00:05:59.720 --> 00:06:08.680] I'm getting all these unsolicited opinions and outside advice on top of just the new mom fatigue and stress and worry and emotions.
[00:06:09.080 --> 00:06:14.440] Let's talk about those hormones and the emotional dips that come from not getting sleep, right?
[00:06:14.760 --> 00:06:18.920] And before I knew it, I didn't even recognize myself anymore.
[00:06:18.920 --> 00:06:21.960] On paper, though, things still looked good.
[00:06:21.960 --> 00:06:23.400] Income was strong.
[00:06:23.400 --> 00:06:25.000] Downloads were up.
[00:06:25.000 --> 00:06:27.640] Everything looked like it was working.
[00:06:27.640 --> 00:06:31.640] But inside, I was unraveling, y'all.
[00:06:31.640 --> 00:06:35.000] So fast forward, 2020 was inside for us.
[00:06:35.000 --> 00:06:38.120] 2021, we started dipping our toe back outside.
[00:06:38.120 --> 00:06:45.160] I went to my best friend's Bachelorette, had a blast, you know, her wedding, and things started to come together a little bit.
[00:06:45.160 --> 00:06:51.240] We started to go to birthday parties and things to get Kingston more exposure to other kids and things like that.
[00:06:51.240 --> 00:06:55.880] And then we went home to New York to visit our parents for a few times.
[00:06:55.880 --> 00:07:02.520] I was walking around in New York and I just got this feeling like, man, I really wish we could move back here.
[00:07:02.760 --> 00:07:10.440] At that moment, I had a day, a solo day in New York, and I remember distinctly feeling like I belong here.
[00:07:10.440 --> 00:07:11.560] I grew up in the Bronx.
[00:07:11.560 --> 00:07:14.200] I'm from New York, you know, born in Jamaica, grew up in the Bronx.
[00:07:14.200 --> 00:07:16.080] So, New York is really home for me.
[00:07:14.760 --> 00:07:20.000] And I had that moment, but then I was like, I don't know, I don't see that happening, blah, blah, blah.
[00:07:20.560 --> 00:07:25.840] But in 2022, we were able to move back to New York, and that was a turning point.
[00:07:25.840 --> 00:07:27.840] It felt like coming home again.
[00:07:27.840 --> 00:07:31.840] It felt like it unlocked a place in me that had been bottled up.
[00:07:31.840 --> 00:07:38.080] Really, it was a way of helping me through the loneliness I felt in Baltimore.
[00:07:38.080 --> 00:07:46.000] I enjoyed so many aspects of Baltimore: the food, the neighborhood we were in, being able to walk to the park and all that stuff.
[00:07:46.000 --> 00:07:50.080] But I was extremely lonely.
[00:07:50.080 --> 00:07:58.560] So, being able to see my parents regularly, reconnecting with my friends, having my son start daycare/slash/preschool, it gave me energy.
[00:07:58.560 --> 00:08:02.320] I didn't realize, well, I did realize it gave me energy.
[00:08:02.320 --> 00:08:07.040] I realized I was missing for the first time in a long time.
[00:08:07.040 --> 00:08:09.440] I started to feel like me again.
[00:08:09.760 --> 00:08:18.640] And then by the end of that year, 2022, we were feeling good enough to say, Let's run it back, let's have another baby.
[00:08:18.640 --> 00:08:20.960] Clown face, no, I'm joking, I'm joking.
[00:08:20.960 --> 00:08:28.640] But you know, I started doing my walking, I was getting the weight off and just walking and feeling good about myself, my body, my mental health.
[00:08:28.640 --> 00:08:35.520] And I always enjoyed having siblings, so I always dreamed and hoped that I could have a sibling for Kingston.
[00:08:35.520 --> 00:08:38.640] So, we decided to try again, and it was not easy.
[00:08:38.640 --> 00:08:43.360] You know, I did suffer a loss right away in between, which again, I haven't spoken about.
[00:08:43.360 --> 00:08:45.760] It was like one day I was pregnant, one day I wasn't.
[00:08:45.760 --> 00:08:50.880] And I don't know if I've processed that fully, but it just happened so quick.
[00:08:50.880 --> 00:08:54.320] But then, by the next month, I was pregnant again, thank God in Jesus' name.
[00:08:54.320 --> 00:09:00.200] And I saw that test that came in loud and clear, and that it was my daughter, Kemi.
[00:09:00.200 --> 00:09:04.600] And that's really how she's been since day one-from the pregnancy test to birth.
[00:08:59.840 --> 00:09:06.040] Like, I'm here.
[00:09:06.360 --> 00:09:07.720] I'm here.
[00:09:07.720 --> 00:09:08.680] I'm ready.
[00:09:08.680 --> 00:09:11.720] She is a bold, vivacious Leo.
[00:09:11.880 --> 00:09:13.400] We love her so much.
[00:09:13.720 --> 00:09:21.960] And what I didn't know then was that the year she was born, 2023, would be the year everything shifted.
[00:09:21.960 --> 00:09:22.440] Okay.
[00:09:23.000 --> 00:09:25.800] The podcast landscape changed.
[00:09:25.800 --> 00:09:28.520] I switched podcast networks.
[00:09:28.520 --> 00:09:33.320] Downloads dropped and sponsorships became inconsistent.
[00:09:33.320 --> 00:09:37.640] And my revenue, whoo, child, it became inconsistent too.
[00:09:37.640 --> 00:09:42.520] And I know I've talked about this before, but again, I'm still processing these changes.
[00:09:42.520 --> 00:09:44.520] I'm still working through these changes.
[00:09:44.520 --> 00:09:50.840] So come along with me this year on the journey of where I am now with it and where I'm going with it.
[00:09:50.840 --> 00:09:56.200] So around that period, that's when I started to lose my mojo for real.
[00:09:56.200 --> 00:10:07.800] And it really coincided with postpartum depression, which, again, that thing sneaks up on you because for me, I didn't have like feelings of self-harm or anything like that.
[00:10:07.800 --> 00:10:18.920] But I did how it manifested for me was rage, rage, anger, hate everybody and everything compiled with lack of sleep.
[00:10:18.920 --> 00:10:21.320] Ooh, it was just not good.
[00:10:21.320 --> 00:10:25.160] And then I was tying my worth to my bank balance.
[00:10:25.160 --> 00:10:30.920] So as things started going and dwindling down, down, down, you can imagine how I felt, right?
[00:10:30.920 --> 00:10:34.200] I also started looking in the mirror and not liking what I saw.
[00:10:34.200 --> 00:10:51.520] Again, my daughter was born in the summer of 2023, but by the winter of 2024, I'm in the trenches of lack of sleep, the winter blues of everything being dark all the time, and emotional eating.
[00:10:51.520 --> 00:10:57.680] Again, just eating to cope, eating to breastfeed, eating to survive as a new mom of a toddler and an infant.
[00:10:57.680 --> 00:11:01.600] And so I'm started looking in the mirror and not liking what I saw.
[00:11:01.600 --> 00:11:05.680] And the more I dislike what I saw, the less I wanted to show up.
[00:11:05.680 --> 00:11:07.200] I didn't want to show up on camera.
[00:11:07.200 --> 00:11:08.720] I didn't want to show up in my business.
[00:11:08.720 --> 00:11:12.000] I barely wanted to record my podcast because it was video now.
[00:11:12.000 --> 00:11:15.200] I went to video with this show in 2021.
[00:11:15.200 --> 00:11:21.440] And whether it was on camera or even in front of the microphone, I just wasn't emotionally in it.
[00:11:21.440 --> 00:11:26.560] And of course, for me, when I don't show up, things only get worse financially.
[00:11:26.560 --> 00:11:31.520] Content right now is a huge part of my business.
[00:11:31.520 --> 00:11:36.400] And then here I was hiding, like, how's that gonna work?
[00:11:36.400 --> 00:11:37.040] Okay.
[00:11:37.760 --> 00:11:44.720] So I started to feel like what I would call flailing.
[00:11:44.720 --> 00:12:04.000] And when I say I was flailing, I mean it looked for me like just overwhelmed by every single aspect of life from when it was time to make a transition with my kids, trying to get my daughter off the bottle only for her to refuse to eat the food, right?
[00:12:04.000 --> 00:12:10.720] Or try new foods, trying everything from like spoon feeding to what do they call it?
[00:12:10.720 --> 00:12:13.600] When you try to give them whole foods, table foods, all of that.
[00:12:13.600 --> 00:12:17.240] It looked like sleepless nights trying to get both kids on a schedule.
[00:12:17.240 --> 00:12:21.280] My son regressing, finishing up potty training with him.
[00:12:21.280 --> 00:12:25.920] It looked like researching eczema treatments, like my daughter has it really severe.
[00:12:25.920 --> 00:12:38.280] And it also looked like trying to manage all that while also managing speech therapy and occupational therapy for my son and figuring out the right school setting for him because he is neurodiverse.
[00:12:38.280 --> 00:12:45.640] So there were just, it felt like layer after layer of complexity kept being added to my life.
[00:12:45.640 --> 00:12:47.400] And I wasn't prepared for that.
[00:12:47.400 --> 00:12:58.040] Like when you set out to have children, you know that you're going to be given a gift and a blessing, but you don't truly understand that you're also going to be given an assignment.
[00:12:58.040 --> 00:13:12.680] So a part of my assignment in life is to guide these beautiful vessels and beings through this earthly realm and to help them just have the most amazing experience ever, to help them have all the resources.
[00:13:12.680 --> 00:13:18.120] And that means I just, I put so much pressure on myself, y'all, to figure it out.
[00:13:18.120 --> 00:13:19.560] Like, what's the best this?
[00:13:19.560 --> 00:13:20.840] What's the best that?
[00:13:20.840 --> 00:13:22.200] How do I get him to do this?
[00:13:22.200 --> 00:13:25.800] How do I, and therein lies part of the issue, right?
[00:13:26.120 --> 00:13:31.240] I am thinking that I have more control than I actually do.
[00:13:31.240 --> 00:13:39.400] And it's not that I don't have control, but I think that society puts a lot of pressure on moms in a way that they don't on dads.
[00:13:39.400 --> 00:13:46.040] So for example, if your child is still on the bottle, they're looking at you like, why can't this mom figure it out?
[00:13:46.040 --> 00:13:56.120] Or if your kid doesn't have a haircut because he doesn't like the barber because he has neurosensitivities, they're looking at you like, why isn't your kid groomed this way or that way?
[00:13:56.120 --> 00:13:58.600] And at least that's how it has felt.
[00:13:58.600 --> 00:14:02.520] And no, you shouldn't care what society thinks.
[00:14:02.520 --> 00:14:05.160] However, that's an added thing that's on my plate.
[00:14:05.160 --> 00:14:09.560] Now it's my role to move that off my plate and not care about it.
[00:14:09.560 --> 00:14:13.080] But why was it put on my plate anyway to begin with, right?
[00:14:13.080 --> 00:14:15.520] So those are things that I've had to deal with.
[00:14:14.920 --> 00:14:19.360] Parenting has felt like a constant series of daunting transitions.
[00:14:19.680 --> 00:14:22.960] Just as soon as you master one, another one pops up.
[00:14:22.960 --> 00:14:25.920] And it always felt like it was on me to figure it all out.
[00:14:25.920 --> 00:14:28.480] Like, of course, Moyo is incredible.
[00:14:28.480 --> 00:14:30.400] Moyo is such a good dad.
[00:14:30.400 --> 00:14:36.400] Like, my friends, they text me like he's a good man, Savannah, if I dare complain about anything.
[00:14:36.720 --> 00:14:38.480] And I know he is.
[00:14:38.480 --> 00:14:40.320] And we are in this together.
[00:14:40.320 --> 00:14:45.360] I thank God I have a partner and a parenting partner and a life partner, right?
[00:14:45.360 --> 00:14:46.880] And it's still hard.
[00:14:46.880 --> 00:14:55.520] And because of that pressure that I talked about just a few minutes ago, about the pressure I feel as a mom societally, that's different from a dad.
[00:14:55.520 --> 00:14:57.680] It always comes back to this feeling.
[00:14:57.680 --> 00:15:04.240] It's a false feeling, and that's something I'm working through in therapy, but it is a feeling like I have to figure this out.
[00:15:04.240 --> 00:15:08.000] I put this pressure on myself to figure out so much on my own.
[00:15:08.000 --> 00:15:16.640] And this is a season where I have to let that go through with the help of God, therapy, and just consistently talking through this.
[00:15:16.640 --> 00:15:18.320] I've got to let this go.
[00:15:18.320 --> 00:15:22.960] So with all that going on, my business took a back seat.
[00:15:22.960 --> 00:15:24.800] Understandably so, right?
[00:15:24.800 --> 00:15:26.480] Not surprising.
[00:15:26.480 --> 00:15:30.960] I poured into my kids because they are my number one priority.
[00:15:30.960 --> 00:15:32.640] I was mothering, okay?
[00:15:32.960 --> 00:15:36.400] But inside, I felt like I was unraveling more and more.
[00:15:36.400 --> 00:15:37.600] I was tired.
[00:15:37.600 --> 00:15:39.600] I was still emotional eating.
[00:15:39.600 --> 00:15:40.880] I was stressed.
[00:15:40.880 --> 00:15:42.080] I wasn't creating.
[00:15:42.080 --> 00:15:45.040] I was really in a creative rut and block.
[00:15:45.360 --> 00:15:49.840] And the less I created, the more I felt behind, the more I felt stressed.
[00:15:49.840 --> 00:15:53.840] I was just caught in this loop of discouragement, really.
[00:15:54.160 --> 00:16:01.080] And then dealing with the postpartum depression, that's when I really started to question everything: myself, my work, my purpose.
[00:16:01.080 --> 00:16:07.400] There were moments where I seriously thought maybe I should just quit the podcast, quit the business, and just stop.
[00:16:07.400 --> 00:16:10.680] Maybe I should walk away from podcasting altogether.
[00:16:10.680 --> 00:16:13.800] Maybe I should walk away from everything I've built.
[00:16:13.800 --> 00:16:21.720] And maybe it's time to go back to corporate America because if this is stressing me out this much, if money is stressing me out, why am I doing this?
[00:16:21.720 --> 00:16:27.800] And it's tough because, on the one hand, I felt like, man, did I really do all this just to stop?
[00:16:27.800 --> 00:16:29.880] Because I don't feel like I can do both, right?
[00:16:29.880 --> 00:16:38.600] I don't feel like I can run a business, go back to work full-time, take care of my two kids, one of whom has special needs, right?
[00:16:38.600 --> 00:16:42.440] Be a great wife, do what I need to for my self-care and health.
[00:16:42.440 --> 00:16:45.720] I don't know if I can't at this particular juncture.
[00:16:45.720 --> 00:16:47.560] So it would feel, it almost felt like a death.
[00:16:47.560 --> 00:16:50.440] Like, am I seriously just closing my business?
[00:16:50.760 --> 00:16:52.040] How do you unpack that?
[00:16:52.040 --> 00:16:53.880] How do you unravel that, right?
[00:16:54.200 --> 00:16:56.440] But deep down, I knew the truth.
[00:16:56.440 --> 00:16:59.320] Nothing works unless I'm good.
[00:16:59.320 --> 00:17:00.760] That's what it comes down to.
[00:17:00.760 --> 00:17:03.400] Nothing is going to work unless I'm good.
[00:17:03.720 --> 00:17:06.440] So that means I need to take care of myself.
[00:17:06.440 --> 00:17:08.440] I need to put myself first for real.
[00:17:08.440 --> 00:17:11.160] People always say that, but I mean for real.
[00:17:11.160 --> 00:17:16.280] Like I'm talking about I need to eat first before I even make you a sandwich, kid.
[00:17:16.280 --> 00:17:19.720] Like my family needs the healthiest version of me.
[00:17:19.720 --> 00:17:23.320] My business needs the most confident version of me.
[00:17:23.320 --> 00:17:24.600] And I wasn't her.
[00:17:24.600 --> 00:17:26.280] I haven't been her.
[00:17:26.280 --> 00:17:32.280] Not in these moments, not in these last two years, not in these last five years since I've had my son.
[00:17:32.280 --> 00:17:40.520] And so once I made that realization, that's when I started to shift how I think about the order of my life.
[00:17:40.520 --> 00:17:48.960] Not this quick fix version, new year, new me kind of stuff, or, you know, new fall lock-in like they're doing on TikTok this season.
[00:17:49.200 --> 00:17:53.680] I am locking in, but it comes down to more than a challenge, y'all.
[00:17:54.000 --> 00:17:57.200] You're going to see me in this expansion era.
[00:17:57.200 --> 00:18:00.240] You're going to see the real version, the messy version.
[00:18:00.240 --> 00:18:07.120] Who sometimes I, it's not like I'm trying to put up a front, but like everybody else, I'm like, do you want to see this?
[00:18:07.120 --> 00:18:10.960] Can you learn from me having a depressed crying moment?
[00:18:10.960 --> 00:18:13.040] Like, what does that serve you?
[00:18:13.040 --> 00:18:24.480] The way I think about it right now is: yes, the messy version might serve you in the same way it has helped me when other vulnerable women have shared the struggles they're going through.
[00:18:24.480 --> 00:18:26.240] So you can know you're not alone.
[00:18:26.240 --> 00:18:27.280] You're not crazy.
[00:18:27.280 --> 00:18:28.640] This is hard.
[00:18:28.640 --> 00:18:32.400] The way society is designed, it is hard.
[00:18:32.400 --> 00:18:34.400] It's not structured well.
[00:18:34.400 --> 00:18:40.720] There doesn't seem to be enough room for ambition and motherhood to thrive.
[00:18:40.720 --> 00:18:42.160] It just doesn't.
[00:18:42.160 --> 00:18:46.400] But yet I'm still going to find a way.
[00:18:46.400 --> 00:18:47.040] Okay.
[00:18:47.040 --> 00:18:55.920] So you're going to see the real version, the messy version, the kind where I admit to myself that I can't keep doing things the way I've been doing them.
[00:18:55.920 --> 00:18:57.680] What will that look like?
[00:18:58.320 --> 00:19:00.320] Stay tuned.
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[00:21:53.760 --> 00:22:04.960] So, let me share now some of the shifts that I've been making this year, 2025, to step into this expansion era.
[00:22:04.960 --> 00:22:08.160] So, the expansion era didn't just start today with this episode.
[00:22:08.160 --> 00:22:10.800] It's been, I've been planting the seeds.
[00:22:10.800 --> 00:22:16.720] I've reached that breaking point earlier this year where I realized, okay, something's got to shift.
[00:22:16.720 --> 00:22:19.840] So, let me tell you some of the things that I have been shifting.
[00:22:19.840 --> 00:22:26.320] One of the first steps I took was hiring a fitness coach and coach Anna, Anna J.
[00:22:26.320 --> 00:22:30.880] Fit over on IG, I believe is her full URL, full username.
[00:22:30.880 --> 00:22:46.160] And I have to shout out my girl Kwanisha, Kwanisha Green, at this point, because Kwanisha, who I actually went to undergrad with at the University of Pennsylvania, she started sharing her fitness journey on her Instagram and Facebook.
[00:22:46.160 --> 00:22:49.760] She just shared she was working out every single day.
[00:22:49.760 --> 00:22:51.600] Nothing crazy, right?
[00:22:51.600 --> 00:22:54.640] Like some days, if she was tired, it would be an indoor walk.
[00:22:54.640 --> 00:22:57.760] Like she would say, just completed, you know, a mile in the house.
[00:22:57.760 --> 00:22:59.360] Like, that's it for tonight.
[00:22:59.360 --> 00:23:01.640] And at first, I wasn't really paying attention.
[00:23:01.640 --> 00:23:03.560] I was like, oh, you like the post.
[00:23:03.560 --> 00:23:13.480] But then after a while, when she was up to like day 200, and she also showed her weight loss as she was going, but the weight loss is secondary to the commitment.
[00:23:13.480 --> 00:23:15.160] And I was just so impressed.
[00:23:15.160 --> 00:23:18.040] And she started tagging her coach at the time.
[00:23:18.040 --> 00:23:21.000] And so that's how I learned about my coach, Anna.
[00:23:21.320 --> 00:23:27.320] And it was a big deal for me because it meant I was admitting I couldn't do this on my own.
[00:23:27.640 --> 00:23:36.200] I was admitting that instead of thinking, all right, I can do it all or I can figure this out.
[00:23:36.200 --> 00:23:37.720] I can Google and research stuff.
[00:23:37.720 --> 00:23:41.560] I can look on Instagram and save some recipes and save some workouts.
[00:23:41.560 --> 00:23:49.160] And then I just likened it to just because you are the CEO of your life, it doesn't mean you need to run every department.
[00:23:49.160 --> 00:23:52.840] I don't want to be the senior director of fitness anymore.
[00:23:52.840 --> 00:23:54.600] I relinquished that title.
[00:23:54.600 --> 00:23:55.160] Okay.
[00:23:55.160 --> 00:24:07.560] And so here, now I have someone to check in to give me guidance to literally see what I've eaten that week and what I've been eating and how I've been working out to be able to see my blind spots and say, here's what's really going on.
[00:24:07.560 --> 00:24:09.240] And did you check the sodium in that?
[00:24:09.240 --> 00:24:10.520] And all of that.
[00:24:10.520 --> 00:24:17.560] And these are things that you think you are doing on your own, but like everything else, you just kind of get into a groove.
[00:24:17.560 --> 00:24:21.000] You have peaks, you have highs, and then you just dip.
[00:24:21.000 --> 00:24:25.080] And at first, I thought, okay, once I have a coach, the weight will melt off.
[00:24:25.080 --> 00:24:26.680] The habits will magically click.
[00:24:26.680 --> 00:24:28.440] I'll be so pumped.
[00:24:28.440 --> 00:24:29.640] It's going to be great.
[00:24:29.960 --> 00:24:31.320] And at first, it was like that.
[00:24:31.320 --> 00:24:32.360] I was souped up.
[00:24:32.360 --> 00:24:37.160] I was like working out at least four days a week, every week for a few weeks.
[00:24:37.160 --> 00:24:39.480] But of course, it wasn't that simple.
[00:24:39.480 --> 00:24:41.960] The weight was coming off slowly.
[00:24:41.960 --> 00:24:44.720] I'm talking about slow as molasses.
[00:24:44.280 --> 00:24:48.320] And it was because I was still emotional eating when I had a bad day.
[00:24:48.640 --> 00:24:52.160] And honestly, being an entrepreneur means a lot of bad days.
[00:24:52.160 --> 00:24:55.440] It means I was riding those highs and lows every single week.
[00:24:55.440 --> 00:25:04.560] I was dealing with things like IEP meetings for Kingston and the emotional draining nature of that when someone's always talking about your kid.
[00:25:04.560 --> 00:25:12.160] And, you know, you know what a brilliant, amazing kid you have, but you have to go through this process to get the best resources for them.
[00:25:12.160 --> 00:25:15.200] But it is emotionally taxing.
[00:25:15.200 --> 00:25:18.640] And so there were days I crushed my to-do list and felt unstoppable.
[00:25:18.640 --> 00:25:27.120] And then there were days where I wanted to crawl out of the covers and not be seen at all and not talk to no one and not answer one more thing or fill out one more evaluation or have one more meeting.
[00:25:27.120 --> 00:25:28.400] None of it.
[00:25:28.400 --> 00:25:35.280] So after going through that and the initial phases of working together, I finally said to my fitness coach, this isn't working for me.
[00:25:35.280 --> 00:25:45.840] Trying to check all these boxes every day of all the things I'm supposed to do, you know, do the meals, log them in the app, do this workout, drink X amount of ounces of water, get this amount of sleep.
[00:25:45.840 --> 00:25:49.200] I was like, this is adding to my mental load.
[00:25:49.520 --> 00:25:51.120] So I had to do something different.
[00:25:51.120 --> 00:25:52.800] And together, we simplified it.
[00:25:52.800 --> 00:25:55.440] We focused on one thing at a time.
[00:25:55.440 --> 00:25:56.640] First, food.
[00:25:56.640 --> 00:25:59.920] I decided I was committed to ordering out way less.
[00:25:59.920 --> 00:26:03.760] So I started making and cooking my own meals, even when I didn't feel like it.
[00:26:03.760 --> 00:26:13.760] And the way I was able to do that, if you're a person like me who really doesn't enjoy being in the kitchen for long, really doesn't enjoy meal prepping a whole bunch of stuff on a Sunday, like what?
[00:26:14.400 --> 00:26:19.360] If you're like me, to make it fun, I decided to romanticize the process.
[00:26:19.360 --> 00:26:22.000] I got myself this cute little checkered planner.
[00:26:22.000 --> 00:26:28.080] It's like a faux louis planner and a meal planning notepad from Amazon.
[00:26:28.080 --> 00:26:33.960] And then I started browsing TikTok and YouTube shorts for quick recipes.
[00:26:29.760 --> 00:26:34.200] Okay.
[00:26:34.360 --> 00:26:38.920] I am the queen of sheet pan meals and crock pop dinners right now.
[00:26:38.920 --> 00:26:43.320] And everything goes on the sheet pan: broccoli, sweet potatoes, everything.
[00:26:43.320 --> 00:26:44.200] One fell soup.
[00:26:44.200 --> 00:26:44.440] Whoop!
[00:26:44.520 --> 00:26:45.480] There you go.
[00:26:45.480 --> 00:26:49.080] And I was looking for things I could cook once and enjoy for many days.
[00:26:49.080 --> 00:26:55.080] And then, you know, do another sheet pan in the middle of the week and enjoy for many days the whole family.
[00:26:55.080 --> 00:26:59.320] And suddenly, something that used to feel overwhelming started to feel doable.
[00:26:59.320 --> 00:27:04.280] And especially because I'm always looking up things that are tasty, that are good, that are filling.
[00:27:04.280 --> 00:27:11.640] And then I don't have the cravings the same way I did because here I've just found something that feels really yummy and is better for me.
[00:27:11.640 --> 00:27:18.360] And for real, not for fake, because sometimes people say this and they're making, oh my God, they're making the most bland meal in life.
[00:27:18.360 --> 00:27:19.000] Uh-uh.
[00:27:19.000 --> 00:27:21.720] No, that was never going to work for me.
[00:27:21.720 --> 00:27:25.800] So that has really helped me because it's given me energy, right?
[00:27:25.800 --> 00:27:27.560] I'm getting nutrients I need.
[00:27:27.560 --> 00:27:37.400] And again, I'm feeling better mentally because of what I'm putting into my body, which is helping me to change in so many ways.
[00:27:37.400 --> 00:27:47.560] So the second thing I focused on when it came to the expansion of my fitness was movement and very easy movement.
[00:27:47.560 --> 00:27:51.720] I want movement to feel like something that's a no-brainer that can just happen.
[00:27:51.720 --> 00:28:03.240] So we, for now, did away with all the weight workouts in the app, the exercises on the app that she was giving me because, again, that was just another thing on my mental load.
[00:28:03.240 --> 00:28:11.400] Oh, I gotta, you know, schedule some time or wake up early when I'm getting not so much sleep already to try to squeeze in this 40-minute workout on the app.
[00:28:11.400 --> 00:28:14.280] And it's like, no, why don't I just walk?
[00:28:14.280 --> 00:28:19.680] And it's not just walking because, let me tell you, walking is so incredible for your body and your mental health.
[00:28:19.680 --> 00:28:22.560] So it was really accomplishing two things at the same time.
[00:28:22.800 --> 00:28:28.000] I remembered back to 2022 when all I would do was just walk every day.
[00:28:28.000 --> 00:28:31.760] And then the weight just slowly but consistently started coming off.
[00:28:31.760 --> 00:28:35.520] And I was feeling so much better getting that walking every day.
[00:28:35.840 --> 00:28:39.680] And this is what I decided to focus on: my daily 10,000 steps.
[00:28:39.680 --> 00:28:51.520] And by the way, speaking of 10,000 steps, my coach reminded me: one of the first things we talked about in my initial consult call with her was everybody talks about 10,000 steps a day, right?
[00:28:51.840 --> 00:28:58.640] But if you're barely hitting 5,000 or 6,000 regularly, that's just not realistic.
[00:28:58.640 --> 00:29:03.600] So we set a goal: 8,000 minimum and 10,000 as a stretch.
[00:29:03.600 --> 00:29:09.920] But now, because I've been doing this for more consistently, I always aim for 10,000 and then some days fall.
[00:29:09.920 --> 00:29:11.920] But that's my new focus.
[00:29:11.920 --> 00:29:14.000] And yeah, that's what I started doing.
[00:29:14.000 --> 00:29:23.600] On good days, I'll walk outside, or on days when I'm less crazed, when it's nice weather, I'll walk outside, breathe the fresh air, and clear my head.
[00:29:23.600 --> 00:29:26.400] And on busier days, I hop on the mini-stepper.
[00:29:26.400 --> 00:29:29.360] Sometimes I step in the kitchen while meals are cooking.
[00:29:29.360 --> 00:29:36.000] Other times, I step in the bedroom or I step in the alcove, in the hallway.
[00:29:36.000 --> 00:29:38.640] I step anywhere after the kids went to bed.
[00:29:38.640 --> 00:29:47.200] If I did not get my 10,000 steps, what I love to do at night is just finish those up on a mini stepper in the dark, in the kitchen.
[00:29:47.200 --> 00:29:50.160] And it's also a way of clearing my mind before bed.
[00:29:50.160 --> 00:29:53.280] So it's not fancy, but it is consistent.
[00:29:53.280 --> 00:29:58.880] And consistency more than anything is what started to shift how I feel about myself.
[00:29:58.880 --> 00:30:13.480] I think there's no denying that when you make a commitment to yourself and you love on yourself in that way by treating yourself good, your body good, and giving yourself what you need and deserve, there is a level of confidence and hype that comes from that.
[00:30:13.480 --> 00:30:16.280] Because, like, I'm looking at myself now and I'm like, you go, girl.
[00:30:16.280 --> 00:30:28.920] Like, even when I don't lose weight, and we know weight is not even the best metric, but I look at myself in the mirror and I'm like, oh, I've maintained this weight loss that I've had so far for X amount of days.
[00:30:28.920 --> 00:30:34.360] I used to, you know, I didn't put on any water weight or any crazy thing as soon as I saw that number on the scale.
[00:30:34.360 --> 00:30:38.200] Then going out and buying a burger, like, no, girl, you're doing it.
[00:30:38.200 --> 00:30:39.640] So I love that.
[00:30:39.640 --> 00:30:53.880] And I've realized just how much taking care of me doesn't have to look like a total life overhaul, which is good because, like they say, if you're making something a lifestyle, it really has to fit into your life as it is right now.
[00:30:53.880 --> 00:30:57.960] If you're overhauling, you might not be able to stick to that overhaul.
[00:30:57.960 --> 00:31:07.080] So I love that it can start like this and it can start with one small thing, repeat it over and over until it adds up.
[00:31:07.080 --> 00:31:12.120] So those were my small steps in the area of fitness and health.
[00:31:12.120 --> 00:31:14.120] But it wasn't just my health.
[00:31:14.120 --> 00:31:19.320] I realized I had also lost confidence in myself as a business owner.
[00:31:19.320 --> 00:31:27.800] The strategies I used to bring in clients as a podcast coach, they in the last few years weren't working anymore, or at least I thought.
[00:31:27.800 --> 00:31:31.320] And instead of tweaking and testing, I internalized it.
[00:31:31.320 --> 00:31:33.480] I told myself, maybe I'm bad at this.
[00:31:33.480 --> 00:31:34.680] Maybe I'm not good anymore.
[00:31:34.680 --> 00:31:36.280] Maybe no one cares about this.
[00:31:36.280 --> 00:31:40.080] Maybe no one cares about podcasting, which is so ironic.
[00:31:40.080 --> 00:31:48.560] As everyone under the sun, from Michelle Obama to Travis Kelsey and Jason Kelsey, everyone under the sun, LeBron starts a podcast.
[00:31:44.840 --> 00:31:52.000] And I was telling myself that maybe they aren't relevant anymore.
[00:31:52.320 --> 00:31:53.680] So I stopped.
[00:31:53.680 --> 00:31:56.720] I stopped hosting my podcast webinars.
[00:31:56.720 --> 00:32:02.080] I stopped coaching cold turkey too for an entire year.
[00:32:02.400 --> 00:32:10.000] And then one day I realized that I cannot figure this out on my own.
[00:32:10.000 --> 00:32:17.440] So just like I got a fitness coach, I realized it was finally time to invest in a business coach again.
[00:32:17.440 --> 00:32:22.880] And I was talking to my coach, Claire, and she said something that really stuck with me.
[00:32:22.880 --> 00:32:26.640] And this again was during our consult call for the program.
[00:32:26.640 --> 00:32:29.760] And she says, I think you need a confidence boost.
[00:32:29.760 --> 00:32:31.680] And in that moment, I felt it.
[00:32:31.680 --> 00:32:32.960] She was right.
[00:32:32.960 --> 00:32:37.680] There was this disconnect between how people saw me and how I was actually feeling.
[00:32:37.680 --> 00:32:42.240] To close that gap, it wasn't about another strategy or another checklist.
[00:32:42.240 --> 00:32:45.120] It was going to be an inside job.
[00:32:45.120 --> 00:32:51.920] And it hit me that I hadn't even had a business coach since 2017 when I first quit my job.
[00:32:51.920 --> 00:32:54.000] Back then, I knew I needed guidance.
[00:32:54.000 --> 00:32:56.080] I was working in corporate nine to five.
[00:32:56.080 --> 00:33:03.440] How could I possibly become an entrepreneur without guidance from somebody who had done a similar business model before me?
[00:33:03.440 --> 00:33:05.200] So that's what I did.
[00:33:05.200 --> 00:33:13.280] But somewhere along the way, I convinced myself that now I should know it all, you know, six, seven years into business.
[00:33:13.280 --> 00:33:19.240] And when you think about it, like if you really think about business years as like life years, that's crazy.
[00:33:19.240 --> 00:33:21.760] That I thought, what is it now?
[00:33:21.760 --> 00:33:23.440] Actually, eight years in business, right?
[00:33:23.440 --> 00:33:26.000] That I think eight-year-old me should know it all.
[00:33:26.000 --> 00:33:27.520] Isn't that crazy?
[00:33:27.520 --> 00:33:30.360] But after all, I thought I have my MBA.
[00:33:30.360 --> 00:33:32.840] I'd already worked with a coach when I was starting out.
[00:33:29.840 --> 00:33:34.280] So I got this.
[00:33:34.600 --> 00:33:39.240] And when I would hit a wall, I just told myself, research harder, try harder.
[00:33:39.240 --> 00:33:40.600] Use what you already know.
[00:33:40.600 --> 00:33:43.000] Just keep trying, figure it out on your own.
[00:33:43.000 --> 00:33:47.160] But no, no, Nikayla, you need guidance.
[00:33:47.160 --> 00:33:49.960] You need someone who can see what you can't.
[00:33:49.960 --> 00:33:57.640] So that is what convinced me to finally make another investment in myself in the area of business coaching.
[00:33:57.640 --> 00:34:00.920] With all of these investments, by the way, I didn't want to make them.
[00:34:00.920 --> 00:34:01.400] Why?
[00:34:01.400 --> 00:34:08.840] Because I just kept thinking about my dwindling bank account, my inconsistent revenue streams at the moment.
[00:34:08.840 --> 00:34:12.040] And I thought, how dare I invest in this right now?
[00:34:12.040 --> 00:34:13.800] Like, I need that money.
[00:34:13.800 --> 00:34:16.600] But at the same time, that is such limited thinking.
[00:34:16.600 --> 00:34:22.840] And you cannot get to expansion and your expansion era unless you do something different towards that.
[00:34:22.840 --> 00:34:27.400] Now, it's not saying, I'm never saying that you should go spend money recklessly.
[00:34:27.560 --> 00:34:30.840] I'm telling you about the investments I made and how I got there.
[00:34:31.160 --> 00:34:43.880] So, one of the things I valued about my current business coach, Claire, is that not only do we have the one-on-ones with my one-on-one time, I have my group coaching time, and then we also have what's called a mindset call.
[00:34:44.200 --> 00:34:55.880] And so, when you hit those low moments, like the ones I just talked about, where you have these limiting thoughts coming into your brain, when you submit your questions, we submit questions before the man our call.
[00:34:55.880 --> 00:34:59.240] So, let's say you're submitting your question, your mindset question.
[00:34:59.240 --> 00:35:05.480] You have to not only submit the question, but submit the context, the limiting beliefs, the stories you're telling yourself.
[00:35:05.480 --> 00:35:17.440] And by the time you're reflecting on it all, you do kind of have to laugh at yourself, but still, it is good to talk it through with your coach, with a group.
[00:35:14.760 --> 00:35:20.560] And by the time I was done, I realized I've been tripping.
[00:35:20.880 --> 00:35:22.800] I come on, I'm the best to ever do it.
[00:35:22.800 --> 00:35:24.160] I'm a badass podcast coach.
[00:35:24.160 --> 00:35:25.520] It's time to start acting like it.
[00:35:25.520 --> 00:35:26.960] Like enough.
[00:35:27.280 --> 00:35:28.560] It was my wake-up call.
[00:35:28.560 --> 00:35:42.720] But if I hadn't started to get coaching again, I would not have been able to unlock that for myself because when you're in the depths of these kinds of emotions, it is very hard to claw yourself out without some support.
[00:35:42.720 --> 00:35:54.480] So what I learned from being back in this season where I'm getting regular business coaching is as an entrepreneur, slow down if you have to, but you cannot quit.
[00:35:54.480 --> 00:35:57.680] Definitely don't tie your worth to income.
[00:35:57.680 --> 00:35:58.880] That can go up and down.
[00:35:58.880 --> 00:36:01.840] So are you just going to go down every time it goes down?
[00:36:01.840 --> 00:36:02.400] Right.
[00:36:02.720 --> 00:36:05.200] And keep getting coaching.
[00:36:05.200 --> 00:36:10.240] Keep getting guidance because this isn't school.
[00:36:10.240 --> 00:36:13.520] You do not graduate from being an entrepreneur.
[00:36:13.520 --> 00:36:15.440] You keep on learning.
[00:36:15.440 --> 00:36:19.760] Even if you've had success before, you cannot keep growing without guidance.
[00:36:19.760 --> 00:36:28.160] You cannot keep adjusting to the different trends of economic times that are going to come and go without guidance.
[00:36:28.160 --> 00:36:32.480] And so once I started receiving coaching again, things began to shift.
[00:36:32.480 --> 00:36:36.240] I went back to hosting my webinars every week.
[00:36:36.240 --> 00:36:40.880] And it's every week for now as I wanted to get into my rhythm.
[00:36:40.880 --> 00:36:41.920] And guess what?
[00:36:41.920 --> 00:36:52.400] Not only am I helping people who truly need my knowledge and wisdom when it comes to launching and growing their podcast, but I also have regular predictable income again.
[00:36:52.400 --> 00:36:59.520] And I no longer have to wait for some of my other revenue streams that have longer payout windows, right?
[00:36:59.520 --> 00:37:11.640] No more waiting for a big sponsor check to hit in 30 days, no more living in uncertainty, no more fear or devastation when a check doesn't land on the day it was meant to.
[00:37:11.640 --> 00:37:16.360] Like I have way more control over it now.
[00:37:16.360 --> 00:37:19.640] And all I'm seeing is steady, consistent progress.
[00:37:19.640 --> 00:37:22.360] It really is about staying in the game.
[00:37:22.360 --> 00:37:28.600] Like if you get out the game and you move yourself and you're on the sidelines, you simply can't get no shots in.
[00:37:28.600 --> 00:37:30.440] How can you make no shots if you're on the bench, right?
[00:37:30.440 --> 00:37:34.760] So you have to stay in the game for that steady, consistent progress.
[00:37:34.760 --> 00:37:38.680] And with that, I also started to feel like myself again.
[00:37:38.680 --> 00:37:52.280] But instead of attaching worth or pride to the income, I feel so much pride in myself for getting back on the horse and doing what I need to do for myself.
[00:37:52.280 --> 00:37:58.840] And so now I know that the best thing about myself is that I will persevere.
[00:37:58.840 --> 00:38:00.280] I will persevere.
[00:38:00.280 --> 00:38:05.480] And that is the best trait to have, especially as an entrepreneur.
[00:38:05.480 --> 00:38:10.920] The last piece of my comeback so far, y'all, is going back to therapy.
[00:38:10.920 --> 00:38:15.480] So I'd stop going again because honestly, I didn't want to pay for yet another thing.
[00:38:15.480 --> 00:38:17.240] Y'all see a trend here?
[00:38:17.240 --> 00:38:21.560] I did not want to pay for things and I suffered.
[00:38:21.560 --> 00:38:25.320] But if my mind isn't good, nothing is good.
[00:38:25.640 --> 00:38:29.480] Nothing else is worth paying for if my mind isn't good.
[00:38:29.480 --> 00:38:38.920] So therapy has given me that safe space to vent, to process, and to start peeling back the layers of shame that had been weighing me down.
[00:38:38.920 --> 00:38:43.240] I carried shame for things like hitting a downturn in my business.
[00:38:43.240 --> 00:38:48.800] I carried shame for even considering quitting my podcast and business and going back to corporate America.
[00:38:48.800 --> 00:38:51.040] And there's absolutely nothing wrong with that.
[00:38:51.040 --> 00:38:52.800] I'm not opposed, okay?
[00:38:52.800 --> 00:38:56.560] But I carried shame with those feelings and those movements.
[00:38:56.560 --> 00:38:57.040] Why?
[00:38:57.040 --> 00:38:59.120] Let's unpack that in this season.
[00:38:59.120 --> 00:39:02.640] I also carried shame about not being able to lose the weight.
[00:39:02.640 --> 00:39:07.680] And all of that shame just kept me crippled for many years.
[00:39:08.000 --> 00:39:13.200] But shame thrives in silence, at least it does for me.
[00:39:13.200 --> 00:39:15.040] And I'm over it, okay?
[00:39:15.360 --> 00:39:18.960] So once I bring it to light, it loses its power.
[00:39:18.960 --> 00:39:28.800] And once I start talking about it, once I have someone helping me challenge these thoughts, I realize so much of what I believe isn't even true.
[00:39:29.120 --> 00:39:37.440] And when I was bogged down in those lies, I felt trapped in this spiral of unraveling.
[00:39:37.440 --> 00:39:41.520] And when I'm not bogged down in the lies, I'm free.
[00:39:41.520 --> 00:39:42.800] I'm confident.
[00:39:42.800 --> 00:39:44.080] I'm free to create.
[00:39:44.080 --> 00:39:45.360] I'm free to show up.
[00:39:45.680 --> 00:39:52.160] I'm free to expand into new parts of myself, both as a woman and as a creative.
[00:39:52.480 --> 00:39:59.520] So, one of the things that has recently inspired me in this season is a sermon that I heard.
[00:39:59.520 --> 00:40:04.000] So, when I was living in Virginia, I used to attend Alfred Street Baptist Church.
[00:40:04.000 --> 00:40:07.200] I became a member actually during the pandemic.
[00:40:07.200 --> 00:40:12.320] And even though we're in New York now, I listen religiously every single Sunday.
[00:40:12.320 --> 00:40:13.600] And recently, Dr.
[00:40:13.600 --> 00:40:13.920] F.
[00:40:13.920 --> 00:40:19.520] Bruce Williams was a visiting pastor, and he preached a sermon.
[00:40:19.520 --> 00:40:22.400] It was about watch your mouth.
[00:40:22.400 --> 00:40:28.320] And he talked about Proverbs 18: how life and death is in the power of the tongue.
[00:40:28.320 --> 00:40:38.520] And the pastor said that we have to guard what we say to others, of course, yes, but we have to watch how we talk to ourselves.
[00:40:38.520 --> 00:40:45.160] And that hit me hard because I hadn't been speaking very kindly to myself for a long time.
[00:40:45.160 --> 00:40:54.600] You know, I had been my harshest critic, and God reminded me that my words have power.
[00:40:54.920 --> 00:41:03.240] And most importantly, I can't beat myself up for not knowing how to navigate seasons I've never been in before.
[00:41:03.560 --> 00:41:05.800] I've never been a mom before.
[00:41:05.800 --> 00:41:11.480] How can I beat myself up for not knowing and not figuring things out?
[00:41:11.480 --> 00:41:13.560] I've never been a business owner before.
[00:41:13.560 --> 00:41:15.080] I've never been in these situations.
[00:41:15.080 --> 00:41:18.840] I've never been in an economic downturn as a business owner before.
[00:41:18.840 --> 00:41:25.640] I cannot beat myself up for not knowing how to navigate seasons I've never been in.
[00:41:25.640 --> 00:41:26.920] And what about you?
[00:41:26.920 --> 00:41:32.840] If you've lost your job, if you're going through it, like you cannot beat yourself up.
[00:41:32.840 --> 00:41:34.840] You've never gone through this before.
[00:41:34.840 --> 00:41:40.360] The only way, sadly, that we learn is through going through it and we'll be prepared for next time.
[00:41:40.360 --> 00:41:41.880] But probably there won't be a next time.
[00:41:41.880 --> 00:41:46.920] There'll be something else that we've never dealt with before that we have to navigate.
[00:41:46.920 --> 00:41:52.280] So we have to learn from now: look, I am not going to beat myself up over this.
[00:41:52.280 --> 00:41:58.040] I am going to learn how to weather this storm and make it through.
[00:41:58.040 --> 00:42:00.120] And we can make it through.
[00:42:00.440 --> 00:42:06.040] So, I made a promise to myself to lean on God fully and watch my mouth.
[00:42:06.360 --> 00:42:08.760] So, my story is far from over.
[00:42:08.760 --> 00:42:14.600] This is an expansion era, a season of finding my way back, a season of stepping into the greatness God has for me.
[00:42:14.600 --> 00:42:28.000] So, in this series, I'm taking you behind the scenes: the highs, the messy moments, the business wins, and the losses, and the lessons I'm learning as I rebuild my confidence and expand into the next chapter.
[00:42:28.000 --> 00:42:33.840] And hey, if you've ever felt like you lost your spark, I hope this helps you feel less alone.
[00:42:33.840 --> 00:42:41.920] And if podcasting is part of your journey, I'd love to invite you to my free training where I'll show you how to grow your show and turn it into income.
[00:42:41.920 --> 00:42:47.280] The link is in the description: it's sidehustlepro.co/slash/free training.
[00:42:47.280 --> 00:43:02.000] Because let me tell you something, I would not be where I am and would not be processing and able to process these kinds of emotions and get back on my feet and start generating income if I did not have a podcast.
[00:43:02.000 --> 00:43:08.960] My podcast has been revolutionary to my life, no exaggeration.
[00:43:08.960 --> 00:43:15.600] And so, if you're navigating a season of uncertainty, I encourage you to explore using your voice.
[00:43:15.600 --> 00:43:22.560] Head over to sidehustlepro.co/slash free training to attend my next live webinar.
[00:43:22.560 --> 00:43:26.640] This is my expansion era, and maybe it's yours too.
[00:43:28.240 --> 00:43:31.280] Hey guys, thanks for listening to Side Hustle Pro.
[00:43:31.280 --> 00:43:36.080] If you like the show, be sure to subscribe, rate, and review on Apple Podcasts.
[00:43:36.080 --> 00:43:39.760] It helps other side hustlers just like you to find the show.
[00:43:39.760 --> 00:43:44.400] And if you want to hear more from me, you can follow me on Instagram at SideHustle Pro.
[00:43:44.400 --> 00:43:51.520] Plus, sign up for my six-book Saturday newsletter at sidehustlepro.co/slash newsletter.
[00:43:51.520 --> 00:43:58.880] When you sign up, you will receive weekly nuggets from me, including what I'm up to, personal lessons, and my business tip of the week.
[00:43:58.880 --> 00:44:03.640] Again, that's sidehustlepro.co/slash newsletter to sign up.
[00:43:59.840 --> 00:44:04.920] Talk to you soon.
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