Intelligence Squared

Fatima Bhutto on Grief, Survival, and the Life-Affirming Love of Canine Companions

February 27, 2026

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  • Fatima Bhutto's memoir, *The Hour of the Wolf*, details her battle with anxiety, depression, and a coercive relationship, which she felt compelled to write about to combat the shame that prolonged her suffering and to offer solidarity to other women. 
  • The author's dog, Coco, served as a crucial lifeline during a period of isolation, and witnessing Coco's experiences with pregnancy and loss helped Bhutto confront and process her own grief and longings, ultimately teaching her profound lessons about motherhood and surrender. 
  • Bhutto found that writing about her personal trauma felt more exposing than writing about her family's public political history, but the subsequent response from other women validated the necessity of sharing her story to foster community and liberation from controlling dynamics. 

Segments

Memoir Origin and Coco’s Role
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(00:02:27)
  • Key Takeaway: The memoir The Hour of the Wolf initially focused only on the lessons learned from the author’s Jack Russell, Coco, before expanding to include the issues of grief and relationship shame.
  • Summary: Coco, an 11-year-old Jack Russell, entered Fatima Bhutto’s life during a period of isolation within a coercive relationship and provided essential companionship and lessons. The book began as an exploration of the grace found in the natural world, contrasting human self-betrayal with animal nobility. Bhutto later integrated the difficult topics of grief and the shame associated with her relationship into the narrative.
Writing About Coercive Relationship
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(00:04:46)
  • Key Takeaway: Bhutto included details of her emotionally damaging relationship to confront the shame she felt, believing that admitting her vulnerability could help liberate other women trapped in similar situations.
  • Summary: Bhutto initially resisted writing about the relationship, but realized her shame stemmed from believing a strong, independent woman like herself could never be controlled. She felt that articulating the experience of being gaslit and lost might shake others out of similar limbo. She notes that controlling individuals follow generic patterns, and sharing her story has prompted many women to write in confirming similar experiences.
Man’s Seductive Manipulation
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(00:08:57)
  • Key Takeaway: The manipulative partner operated in a seductive, self-created world, offering insights into Bhutto’s anxiety while simultaneously grooming her to forget his hurtful behavior by teaching her to manipulate her own memories.
  • Summary: Bhutto was initially entranced by the man’s electric confidence and perceived understanding of her lifelong anxiety, which he seemed to know how to cure. He taught her to overlay traumatic memories with new ones, a technique that helped with past grief but was later used to erase his own hurtful actions. This created a disorienting dynamic where she could not distinguish between genuine help and manipulation.
Coco’s First Traumatic Whelping
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  • Key Takeaway: Coco’s first delivery, which resulted in a single, severely deformed pup during lockdown, demonstrated canine sentience and grief when she treated the author’s hand as a surrogate puppy.
  • Summary: Forced to manage the whelping alone during lockdown, Bhutto witnessed Coco’s profound reaction to delivering a pup that was ‘all bone and no flesh.’ Coco exhibited clear signs of confusion and wounding, attempting to mother the author’s hand by sleeping on it and protecting it. This experience shattered Bhutto’s belief that animals do not grieve or feel deeply.
Motherhood Lessons from Canine Experience
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(00:16:15)
  • Key Takeaway: Bhutto learned essential, familiar aspects of human motherhood, such as interminably broken sleep, by acting as Coco’s midwife during her second, successful pregnancy, which occurred during another lockdown.
  • Summary: Coco’s second pregnancy, which ended happily, provided Bhutto with a template for her own later motherhood, particularly regarding sleep deprivation. Bhutto emphasizes that watching Coco’s primal magnificence in guiding life into the world taught her the necessity of surrender, which contrasts with cultural teachings to always resist and fight back. This experience was a magical exercise in care for care’s sake, devoid of ego.
Advice on Dog Ownership Responsibility
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  • Key Takeaway: Acquiring a dog is a full-time commitment akin to having a child, requiring subservience, sacrifice, and the willingness to attend to the animal’s needs at any hour, as dogs offer unconditional love in return.
  • Summary: Bhutto stresses that dogs are not accessories; they demand attention, time, and sacrifice, including middle-of-the-night walks. Owners must correct their own behavior to address canine stress, and must never break the dog’s heart, as the animal is present for all of the human’s life. The unconditional love and tenderness dogs offer is described as divine because they accept humans at their absolute worst.
Literary Dogs and Future Writing
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(00:34:44)
  • Key Takeaway: Bhutto favors literary works like J.R. Ackerley’s My Dog Tulip and Helen Macdonald’s H is for Hawk for their warm accounts of friendship, but her current focus for writing is journalism concerning the ongoing situation in Gaza.
  • Summary: The author notes a scarcity of books celebrating dogs, preferring those that show reverence and friendship over devastating animal-centric films. She cites My Dog Tulip and Sigrid Nunez’s The Friend as examples of literature that captures the bond with animals. Currently, Bhutto is haunted by the events in Gaza, which is the primary subject of her recent essays and journalism.