How to Be a Better Human

How to make 2026 a year full of laughs (w/ Chris Duffy and Manoush Zomorodi)

January 5, 2026

Key Takeaways Copied to clipboard!

  • Good humor is built on three pillars: being present and noticing absurdity, being willing to laugh at oneself (while being mindful not to undercut competence), and taking social risks to connect with others through humor. 
  • Showing vulnerability and messiness, such as accidentally spilling coffee, makes competent individuals more relatable and likable than appearing flawless. 
  • Laughter, especially during difficult times, serves to puncture tension, change one's experience of a problem, and foster deep connection, making it essential for tackling life's hard parts. 

Segments

Introduction and Guest Host Setup
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(00:01:04)
  • Key Takeaway: Manoush Zomorodi guest hosts the episode of How to Be a Better Human to interview Chris Duffy about his book on humor.
  • Summary: Manoush Zomorodi, host of NPR’s TED Radio Hour, takes over hosting duties for this special episode of How to Be a Better Human. The focus is on Chris Duffy, who is in the hot seat to discuss his debut book, Humor Me. The episode aims to explore how finding joy and humor can lead to becoming a better human.
TED Talk Clip on Humor
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(00:03:11)
  • Key Takeaway: Humor arises from accepting and noticing honest reactions rather than suppressing them to fit into a perceived box.
  • Summary: Chris Duffy’s TED Talk clip suggests that people with great senses of humor are willing to notice and accept their honest reactions. By turning off self-judgment and embracing bizarre thoughts, individuals can surprise themselves with hilarious and delightful observations. This contrasts with trying too hard to conform, which stifles genuine humor.
Pillar One: Being Present
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(00:08:19)
  • Key Takeaway: The first pillar of good humor is being present to notice the absurdity and weirdness of the world around you.
  • Summary: To laugh more, one must actively notice the world instead of being distracted by phones or future plans. The brain often trains people to ignore odd details, but noticing these small absurdities is key to finding humor. This presence allows for the discovery of things that would otherwise be missed.
Pillar Two: Laughing at Self
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(00:09:25)
  • Key Takeaway: The second pillar involves being willing to laugh at one’s own weirdness and flaws, which paradoxically increases competence perception.
  • Summary: Laughing at oneself means accepting messy, error-prone human nature instead of striving for flawlessness. Research shows that job applicants rated highest were competent individuals who also made a relatable mistake, like spilling coffee. Showing this messy humanity makes one more likable and relatable than projecting an image of perfection.
Pillar Three: Taking Social Risks
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(00:16:07)
  • Key Takeaway: The third pillar requires taking social risks by putting oneself out there to connect with others using humor.
  • Summary: Social laughter requires putting oneself out there, which can be as simple as pointing out an odd observation in conversation rather than sticking to safe small talk. Accepting invitations to odd or strange events, like a concert played entirely on tubas, is also a form of social risk that leads to memorable joy. These shared, slightly ridiculous experiences create lasting positive memories.
Humor in Grief and Hardship
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(00:31:24)
  • Key Takeaway: Humor can puncture tension in the hardest, most unfunny situations, offering a brief change in the experience of suffering.
  • Summary: The ability to laugh during intense grief or pain provides a necessary release by momentarily wiping clean the tension of a difficult situation. Imagining an absurd scenario, like Chris Duffy attending a silent meditation retreat while his wife was ill, created a moment of shared laughter that provided energy to survive the day. Laughter does not solve the problem but changes the immediate experience of enduring it.
Generosity of Humor
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(00:28:38)
  • Key Takeaway: A good sense of humor is inherently generous, focusing on shared laughter rather than seeking personal attention.
  • Summary: Humor is not about demanding attention or being the center of the joke; it is about giving time, attention, and presence to others so that everyone laughs together. Women often define humor in a partner as ‘someone we laugh together with,’ whereas men often define it as ‘someone who laughs at my jokes.’ True humor involves cherishing the funny things others say, not just being the source of the comedy.
Chris Duffy’s Annual Theme
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(00:40:14)
  • Key Takeaway: Chris Duffy structures his New Year’s resolutions around an overarching annual theme supported by achievable action items.
  • Summary: Duffy’s approach to resolutions involves setting a theme for the year, such as ‘faith’ in the past year, which helped him accept uncertainty about future events. This theme is supported by concrete, achievable action items like sending a weekly newsletter or recording a set number of podcast episodes. Aspirational goals that roll over yearly are also included, acknowledging that not everything is accomplished immediately.