How to Be a Better Human

How to find your purpose (w/ Yara Shahidi)

March 16, 2026

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  • Optimism is not a naive state existing on your best days, but rather the active practice of pulling through for yourself on your worst days. 
  • The 'Hard Yes List' is a practical tool for building an arsenal of things that bring joy, allowing for a material reset during difficult times by paying attention to daily positive experiences. 
  • Embracing being 'bad' at non-essential activities, like playing the Glockenspiel, opens doors to immense joy and prevents preemptively closing off experiences due to fear of imperfection or embarrassment. 

Segments

Defining Optimism and Pessimism
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(00:08:41)
  • Key Takeaway: Pessimism is an easy default state, but optimism is the necessary practice of action, even when success is uncertain.
  • Summary: Being a pessimist is easy because it involves sitting in critique and accounting for everything that could go wrong, which often results in accomplishing nothing. Optimism is defined as the consideration that even if you may not get much done, you are at least doing more than nothing. This pursuit of optimism requires daily cultivation and effort, acknowledging life’s challenges rather than ignoring them.
Historical Perspective and Setbacks
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(00:12:24)
  • Key Takeaway: Hope is found in history by recognizing that society has always pushed through difficult moments that felt insurmountable at the time.
  • Summary: Yara Shahidi uses her 1963 tattoo as a reminder that many people fought for a future they were not guaranteed but knew was necessary. It is important to frame work as being for the future, even if the immediate impact is not visible. Acknowledging that progress is a generational journey, not an immediate event, helps contextualize current setbacks.
Navigating Shifting Public Opinion
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(00:20:57)
  • Key Takeaway: True conviction requires maintaining a stance on important issues even when public sentiment shifts and the stakes increase.
  • Summary: It is easier to advocate for issues when the cultural wind is at your back, but true commitment is tested when a topic becomes less ‘in vogue.’ The concept of ‘highest order’—defining core priorities—helps guide actions when facing shifting social or political landscapes. One deserves the space to be well-studied before speaking on complex issues rather than feeling obligated to comment instantly.
Identity Nuance and Growth
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(00:29:09)
  • Key Takeaway: The belief that people are not fixed entities but can grow and change is fundamental to maintaining optimism.
  • Summary: Yara Shahidi found comfort in anchoring her identity to being both an actor and a student, and the conclusion of both roles was overwhelming. The experience of pursuing multiple interests simultaneously, even when others suggested surrendering outside pursuits, ultimately bettered her acting career by providing more life experience. It is crucial to allow oneself the space to be a ‘full human’ rather than conforming to narrow expectations of expertise.
Joyful Amateurism and Hobbies
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(00:41:59)
  • Key Takeaway: Pursuing hobbies one is bad at, like playing the Glockenspiel, provides immense joy and acts as a necessary counterweight to high-stakes expertise.
  • Summary: Yara Shahidi intentionally seeks out situations where she knows she will be an amateur to combat the instinct to always be good at everything. Being bad at something one has no aspiration to master, like the Glockenspiel (a xylophone), prevents taking the activity too seriously. This intentional amateurism opens doors to fun hobbies and makes one more relatable to others.